Bill Maher Quotes About Last

Browse 7 famous quotes of Bill Maher about Last.

"New Rule: Stop hitting on women at the dog park. Yes, we're talking to you, divorced guy with a ponytail. That better be a Milk-Bone in your pocket, because we're not glad to see you. Women come to the park to exercise their dogs, not to socialize with hounds. They wouldn't pick you up if they had a plastic bag on their hand. Although if you're determined to meet a woman at the dog park, here's a tip: Get a dog." ~ Bill Maher
"New Rule: If one of your news organization's headlines is about who got kicked off Dancing with the Stars last night, you're no longer a news organization. Sort of like, if you were on Dancing with the Starslast night, you're no longer a star." ~ Bill Maher
"New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I'm not talking about this past Easter. I'm talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962." ~ Bill Maher
"New Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't look like you're sensitive, you look like you're homeless.The last guy to pick up a chick with an Apple was Adam. And when you sit across from another dateless loser with a laptop, it still doesn't look like you're working--it looks like you're playing Battleship." ~ Bill Maher
"New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I'm not even sure American cheese is cheese. I think it's aged Jell-O. And it doesn't need to be individually wrapped in plastic, either. You're thinking of condoms." ~ Bill Maher
"New Rule: America has every right ot bitch about gas prices suddenly shooting up. How could we have known? Oh, wait, there was that teensy, tiny thing about being warned constantly over the last forty years but still creating more urban sprawl, failing to build public transport, buying gas-guzzlers, and voting for oil company shills. So, New Rule: Shut the fuck up about gas prices." ~ Bill Maher
"Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that." ~ Bill Maher
Quotes About last

Today's Quote

Several of my critics have said, 'Bowerman just tacks up a piece of paper in the locker room and turns his runners loose.' They're partially right. I do give the athletes a relatively free rein and for good reason. One of my principles is 'Don't overcoach."
Author: Bill Bowerman

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