Jarod Kintz Quotes About Roll

Browse 13 famous quotes of Jarod Kintz about Roll.

"A brick could be slid on a wood floor, like a rolling bowling ball, in an attempt to fill the seconds between swallows of beer." ~ Jarod Kintz
"I want to be a matador in the bull market, but not so I can make a killing. Rather, I just want to wear flamboyant and form-fitting pants that emphasize my genitalia as I stroll down Wall Street." ~ Jarod Kintz
"Eating a plain bagel with no cream cheese is like eating the inner tube of a bicycle tire, and I'd rather ride my roller skates to work." ~ Jarod Kintz
"I nearly ran him over after he ran out in front of my car. So I slammed on the brakes, rolled down my window, and said, "Do you realize I could have killed you?" "It was stupid of me to run out in front of you," he said. "Yeah, it was," I replied. "But I'm not talking about now. Last Tuesday I could have killed you. Had you in the scope of my rifle, but I let you live. Now THAT was stupid." ~ Jarod Kintz
"The months roll by like wheels on a wheelchair. Pretty soon it'll be July. Feels like just last month it was May." ~ Jarod Kintz
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning." ~ Jarod Kintz
"This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep." ~ Jarod Kintz
"A politician's autobiography is a book that's nothing more than a collection of paper, like toilet paper, only it's stacked instead of rolled." ~ Jarod Kintz
"The best birthday present I ever got from my grandpa was a skinny black tie. It didn't come in a bag, a box, or even rolled up in tissue paper. It came wrapped in wisdom. As soon as he gave it to me he said, "A tie would make a stronger impression on your boss if you used it as a blindfold and kidnapped him. That‘s why I bought you a black one." ~ Jarod Kintz
"Bricks could have been used to stop Napoleon's army from advancing into Russia. And blankets could have been used to keep Napoleon rolling in victories." ~ Jarod Kintz
"Certain words roll off the tongue like frozen balls of saliva. Words like sure, positive, and definite." ~ Jarod Kintz
"I want to write a poem about "Truth," "Honor," "Dignity," and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it." ~ Jarod Kintz
"If I could fly, life would be amazing. But paraplegic people say the same thing about walking, and I freaking hate walking. Somebody might ask me, "Hey, do you want to go for a walk?" and I'll reply, "Nope. But I do want to have a seat on a chair with wheels and roll along with you." So maybe flight isn't so cool after all. Possibly birds get pissed off they have to fly everywhere." ~ Jarod Kintz
Quotes About roll

Today's Quote

When I am dead, my dearest,Sing no sad songs for me;Plant thou no roses at my head,Nor shady cypress tree:Be the green grass above meWith showers and dewdrops wet:And if thou wilt, remember,And if thou wilt, forget.I shall not see the shadows,I shall not feel the rain;I shall not hear the nightingaleSing on as if in pain:And dreaming through the twilightThat doth not rise nor set,Haply I may remember,And haply I may forget."
Author: Christina Rossetti

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