Top Asher Quotes

Browse top 139 famous quotes and sayings about Asher by most favorite authors.

Favorite Asher Quotes

1. "OK snark, settle. You're telling me you don't have the tiniest crush on him? Tell the truth, Grace," she said, cornering me over by the dishwasher."I don't have a crush," I debated."Well, maybe I have half a crush. I have a 'cruh'," I admitted, giggling."But it's strickly Joshua inspired," I added, knowing that was not entirely true."
Author: Alice Clayton
2. "You're my insatiable blood thief and soul smasher."
Author: Anne Rice
3. "If women are choosing not to run the world, it's partly because men are choosing not to run the washer and dryer."
Author: Barbara Kellerman
4. "I just wrapped this movie called The Wedding Crashers which was a pretty big break for me."
Author: Bradley Cooper
5. "The door slammed open. Vivenna jumped, putting a hand to her chest.Vasher walked in. 'Start reaching for that sword when you're startled,' he said. 'There's little reason to grab your shirt, unless you're planning to rip it off."
Author: Brandon Sanderson
6. "There's the pity of it. Elaine Cheeseman's not as young as you; she's forty, maybe. But she's not bad-looking at all. If she took the trouble to dress properly, and occasionally she smiled instead of keeping a frozen, holy-zeal look as though she were goin' to the Crusades instead of only to the polling-station, she might even be a bit of a smasher."
Author: Carter Dickson
7. "And my own affairs were as bad, as dismal, as the day I had been born. The only difference was that now I could drink now and then, though never often enough. Drink was the only thing that kept a man from feeling forever stunned and useless. Everything else just kept picking and picking, hacking away. And nothing was interesting, nothing. The people were restrictive and careful, all alike. And I've got to live with these fuckers for the rest of my life, I thought. God, they all had assholes and sexual organs and their mouths and their armpits. They shit and they chattered and they were dull as horse dung. The girls looked good from a distance, the sun shining through their dresses, their hair. But get up close and listen to their minds running out of their mouths, you felt like digging in under a hill and hiding out with a tommy-gun. I would certainly never be able to be happy, to get married, I could never have children. Hell, I couldn't even get a job as a dishwasher."
Author: Charles Bukowski
8. "I see men assassinated around me every day. I walk through rooms of the dead, streets of the dead, cities of the dead; men without eyes, men without voices; men with manufactured feelings and standard reactions; men with newspaper brains, television souls and high school ideas. Kennedy himself was 9/10ths the way around the clock or he wouldn't have accepted such an enervating and enfeebling job -- meaning President of the United States of America. How can I be concerned with the murder of one man when almost all men, plus females, are taken from cribs as babies and almost immediately thrown into the masher?"
Author: Charles Bukowski
9. "Maybe I'd be a bank robber. Some god-damned thing. Something with flare, fire. You only had one shot. Why be a window washer?"
Author: Charles Bukowski
10. "I could see the road ahead of me. I was poor and I was going to stay poor. But I didn't particularly want money. I didn't know what I wanted. Yes, I did. I wanted someplace to hide out, someplace where one didn't have to do anything. The thought of being something didn't only appall me, it sickened me. The thought of being a lawyer or a councilman or an engineer, anything like that, seemed impossible to me. To get married, to have children, to get trapped in the family structure. To go someplace to work every day and to return. It was impossible. To do things, simple things, to be part of family picnics, Christmas, the 4th of July, Labor Day, Mother's Day . . . was a man born just to endure those things and then die? I would rather be a dishwasher, return alone to a tiny room and drink myself to sleep."
Author: Charles Bukowski
11. "A commission of haberdashers could alone have reported whatthe rest of her poor dress was made of, but it had a strong generalresemblance to seaweed, with here and there a gigantic tea-leaf.Her shawl looked particularly like a tea-leaf after long infusion."
Author: Charles Dickens
12. "Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate."
Author: Christopher Moore
13. ". . . And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso."
Author: Christopher Moore
14. "What happens if one day we're standing in a kitchen, dishwasher empty, oven and air full, you're washing and I'm drying, and the ring slips down the drain and flushes out to sea?"
Author: Darnell Lamont Walker
15. "You don't want a general houseworker, do you? Or a traveling companion, quiet, refined, speaks fluent French entirely in the present tense? Or an assistant billiard-maker? Or a private librarian? Or a lady car-washer? Because if you do, I should appreciate your giving me a trial at the job. Any minute now, I am going to become one of the Great Unemployed. I am about to leave literature flat on its face. I don't want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading."
Author: Dorothy Parker
16. "Johnny liked being with Iona; it made him feel like a man. She was petite - a good five inches shorter than him - but it was more than that. She let him pay for her, patronise her, made no demands on his time other than what he was already willing to offer. She made him feel nineteen as well, in her bed with sheets that smelt like cheap laundrette detergent, in bars drinking Snakebite from pint glasses still warm from the dishwasher."
Author: Erin Lawless
17. "Thing is, foot-washers think women are a sin in definition."
Author: Harper Lee
18. "In the back of the fridge I checked out some stewed apples destined to fester. I examined them closely and reckoned they had only a day to go, even by my standards. I spooned the apples into tiny bowls, tossed in some dried fruit and sprinkled them with crumble topping. Delicious, they said that night, scraping the bowls so clean they hardly needed to go in the dishwasher. The fools."
Author: Helen Brown
19. "Its not that he didn't appreciate his dishwasher. There was something about washing dishes by hand that was therapeutic, as if he could wash away the regrets of the past and photos he wanted to wipe out of his memory forever."
Author: James L. Rubart
20. "YOU are using a frisbee as a plate.""Uh, what? I'm not using a--oh hang on, this is a frisbee. Weird."Victor glared at me."Dude, calm down, I'll wash it afterward. It's probably dishwasher safe."
Author: Jenny Lawson
21. "When I asked my father whether he thought that it was possible that his mother was raped behind that closed door, he said, "She had washer-woman knees. No one could possibly think of her as a sexual object. Besides," he explained, "she would have told my sisters, and they would have told me." I am not so sure. Maybe someone needed to ask her. Someone needed to want to know, to be able to hear the answer. (77)"
Author: Jessica Stern
22. "Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out."
Author: Joe Rogan
23. "I am not ashamed to say that I am the son of a washerwoman."
Author: John Burns
24. "The way she told it, she was such a criminal even the most God-fearing church ladies got bored of reporting on her; she did the marketing on Sunday, dropped by any church she liked or none at all, was a feminist (which Mrs. Asher sometimes confused with communist), a Democrat (which Mrs. Lincoln pointed out practically had "demon" in the word itself), and, worst of all, a vegetarian (which ruled out any dinner invitations from Mrs. Snow)."
Author: Kami Garcia
25. "I don't have a dishwasher, and I hate washing dishes."
Author: Kristanna Loken
26. "Swoopers write a story quickly, higgledy-piggledy, crinkum-crankum, any which way. Then they go over it again painstakingly, fixing everything that is just plain awful or doesn't work. Bashers go one sentence at a time, getting it exactly right before they go on to the next one. When they're done they're done."
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
27. "Marius had never understood the notion of blind loyalty. He had served everyone from kings and caliphs to head dishwasher at the local brothel, and only ever with one objective: to relieve someone of the cruel burden of their money."
Author: Lee Battersby
28. "And what if I want you?" I ask softly."I'm here, aren't I?""You are. You keep coming back. For what? What is this between us?"He slides a hand into my hair and leads me to lean into him again. "It's whatever you want it to be, gorgeous. With one exception.""What's that?""It's not just sex. That's why I won't sleep with you. I won't let this be just sex."That makes me smile. "Why me, Asher? I'm just some small-town slut with too much baggage. You could have anyone." I can feel his heart beating against my cheek and its steady pace increases at my question. "Why me?""Sweetheart, when you know the answer to that question, we won't be talking anymore."I pull back and blink at him. "You'll be gone?"His lips quirk. "I'll be inside you."
Author: Lexi Ryan
29. "It seemed to her everyone had too much self-protective pride to truly strip off down to their souls in front of their long-term partners. It was easier to pretend there was nothing more to know, to fall into an easygoing companionship. It was almost embarrassing to be truly intimate with your spouse; because how could you watch someone floss one minute, and the next minute share your deepest passion or tritest of fears? It was almost easier to talk about that sort of thing before you'd shared a bathroom and a bank account and argued over the packing of the dishwasher."
Author: Liane Moriarty
30. "I felt that the biological clock was some myth to keep me from doing what I wanted to do. And so I rebelled against it in the '90s. I thought it was a backlasher, some sort of faulty data. But it's real. I'm glad I woke up before my body was just like 'uh-uh.'"
Author: Lili Taylor
31. "All the stars shine for you, Asher."
Author: Lisa De Jong
32. "Be she alewife,fishmonger, washerwoman, or whore; the woman who fucks my whole cock shall I take to church'sdoor."
Author: Lisa Valdez
33. "You emptied the top rack of the dishwasher but not the bottom, so the clean dishes have gotten all mixed up with the dirty ones - and now you want to have sex?"
Author: Lorrie Moore
34. "Slasher Hathaway marks his territory by spending money. He might as well have pissed on her. It means nothing."
Author: Marian Keyes
35. "Japanese chefs believe our soul goes into our knives once we start using them. You wouldn't put your soul in a dishwasher!"
Author: Masaharu Morimoto
36. "Consumption.And if the culture doesn't have a vision for the human person, it certainly doesn't have a vision for the family. In fact, the culture would prefer that every family be broken, because a broken family needs two dishwashers, two lawnmowers, ant two of almost everything else. And if culture could break families up two, three, four ways, it would prefer that."
Author: Matthew Kelly
37. "We hold these stories and mad idea and events in our head and they run around and around telling us we are different, separate, broken. Then one day the mad idea escapes the asylum. Most times it's unplanned. It just tumbles out on the lap of the man sitting next to us on the bus, or it slips sideways into a conversation on line at the Trader Joe's or it falls out at the kitchen table when your neighbor comes to pick up her cat. And there is a terrifying moment when it first hits the light of day, where we think, "holy mother of God! What have I done? How could I have been to casual with my crazy ways?"But the man on the bus just smiles and nods his head, and the casher takes a moment to look us in the eye and the neighbor sits for a cup of tea and together we move into some new agreements that we are all in fact crazy and it's so much nicer to be out of the closet with it all."
Author: Maureen Muldoon
38. "Graduation, the hush-hush magic time of frills and gifts and congratulations and diplomas, was finished for me before my name was called. The accomplishment was nothing. The meticulous maps, drawn in three colors of ink, learning and spelling decasyllabic words, memorizing the whole of The Rape of Lucrece - it was for nothing. Donleavy had exposed us.We were maids and farmers, handymen and washerwomen, and anything higher that we aspired to was farcical and presumptuous."
Author: Maya Angelou
39. "Take the entire 4.5-billion-year history of the earth and scale it down to a single year, with January 1 being the origin of the earth and midnight on December 31 being the present. Until June, the only organisms were single-celled microbes, such as algae, bacteria, and amoebae. The first animal with a head did not appear until October. The first human appears on December 31. We, like all the animals and plants that have ever lived, are recent crashers at the party of life on earth."
Author: Neil Shubin
40. "Farrukh, tonight you have won a dishwasher"
Author: Paul Torday
41. "Kim estaba sentada a la mesa de al lado con otras dos chicas tan pijas como ella.—Mírala —repitió Cal—. Es un Bollicao.—Por favor —dijo Park—. Pareces idiota.—¿Qué? La gente lo dice.—Lo has sacado de la revista Thrasher o algo así, ¿no?—Así es como se aprenden palabras nuevas, Park —Cal dio unos golpecitos en un libro de poesía—. Leyendo."
Author: Rainbow Rowell
42. "My family keeps me pretty grounded. Like if I try anything diva, they're like, 'Oh shut up. Go and do the dishwasher.'"
Author: Rebel Wilson
43. "When you turn from one room to the next, when your animal senses no longer perceive the sounds of the dishwasher, the ticking clock, the smell of a chicken roasting - the kitchen and all its seemingly discrete bits dissolve into nothingness - or into waves of probability."
Author: Robert Lanza
44. "Who was he?" "A magician who took me in after I left the Bone-master. On his good days, he tried to teach me everything he knew." "What about his bad days?" "On his bad days, he generally thought he was an onion." "That's awful," said Jinx. "No, it's not. What was awful was when he thought he was a potato masher." "Oh." "He always said to me, ‘Mildred, one day this will all be yours.'" Simon made a wide gesture, encompassing books, cats, and the door to Samara. "Er, he called you Mildred?" "Often as not." "Maybe he really meant to leave everything to Mildred," said Jinx. "If she ever shows up, we'll talk," said Simon. "But I think she may have been a dog he once had."
Author: Sage Blackwood
45. "I. Woe unto you, Ironmongri and Haberdasheri; woe unto you, Millineri and Del Icatessen; woe unto you, Young Fashions, and unto you, you the bandits of Corsetry. And even unto you, Stationeri.II. For the Store is but a Place inside the Outside.III. Woe unto you, for Arnold Bros (est. 1905) has opened the Last Sale. Everything Must Go.IV. But they mocked him and said, You are an Outsider, You don't even Exist.From The Book of Nome, Goods Inward v.I-IV"
Author: Terry Pratchett
46. "This is Masher,' said Feeney. 'His father was a wild boar, his mother was surprised."
Author: Terry Pratchett
47. "These kids today. Back then, we couldn't afford photosynthesis. We had to build oxygen from scratch with an atom smasher."
Author: Tim Hensley
48. "And you spend your day going around from the house of the washerman to the house of the sweeper, asking about this one's son and that one's nephew, but spending no time with your own family. It is no secret that many people here think that you are a communist.'Rasheed reflected that this probably meant only that he loathed the poverty and injustice endemic to the village, and that he made no particular secret of it."
Author: Vikram Seth
49. "[The modern age] knows nothing about isolation and nothing about silence. In our quietest and loneliest hour the automatic ice-maker in the refrigerator will cluck and drop an ice cube, the automatic dishwasher will sigh through its changes, a plane will drone over, the nearest freeway will vibrate the air. Red and white lights will pass in the sky, lights will shine along highways and glance off windows. There is always a radio that can be turned to some all-night station, or a television set to turn artificial moonlight into the flickering images of the late show. We can put on a turntable whatever consolation we most respond to, Mozart or Copland or the Grateful Dead."
Author: Wallace Stegner
50. "Get used to that, Nana. He has a way of appearing out of thin air.''Oh my. Asher. Hm. Hm. Hm. Turn around. He's beautiful, Campbell. Are you schtupping my granddaughter?' she asked him.'No, ma'am.''Well, I give you my permission.'And just liked that, Cam's love life was ruined forever. If and when she ever 'schtupped' Asher, she'd have to do everything she could not to think of her grandmotehr."
Author: Wendy Wunder

Asher Quotes Pictures

Quotes About Asher
Quotes About Asher
Quotes About Asher

Today's Quote

You're right that not everything we do has to have some kind of social agenda, but that doesn't mean it can only be anesthetizing crap."
Author: Brian K. Vaughan

Famous Authors

Popular Topics