Top Bollocks Quotes

Browse top 23 famous quotes and sayings about Bollocks by most favorite authors.

Favorite Bollocks Quotes

1. "In the 18th century, a revolution in thought, known as the Enlightenment, dragged us away from the superstition and brutality of the Middle Ages toward a modern age of science, reason and democracy. It changed everything. If it wasn't for the Enlightenment, you wouldn't be reading this right now. You'd be standing in a smock throwing turnips at a witch. Yes, the Enlightenment was one of the most significant developments since the wheel. Which is why we're trying to bollocks it all up.Welcome to a dangerous new era - the Unlightenment - in which centuries of rational thought are overturned by idiots. Superstitious idiots. They're everywhere - reading horoscopes, buying homeopathic remedies, consulting psychics, babbling about "chakras" and "healing energies", praying to imaginary gods, and rejecting science in favour of soft-headed bunkum. But instead of slapping these people round the face till they behave like adults, we encourage them. We've got to respect their beliefs, apparently."
Author: Charlie Brooker
2. "He knows religion is bollocks," Collingswood said. "He just wishes he didn't."
Author: China Miéville
3. "I'm not sure if you've noticed this yet, but Jenny Sullivan likes to overuse people's first names. It's a technique she read about in a book called Own It - Take Life By The Bollocks. She once said my name so many times I disconnected from it entirely."
Author: Claire Garber
4. "The words 'mainly in America' translated to me as 'this is bollocks' and I sat back in my chair with a sigh."
Author: Danny Wallace
5. "Ye know as well as I that I lost whatever heart I once had long ago," Mick replied without emotion, a simple statement of fact. "If the babe lives, or if she dies, it makes no difference to me. I'll still eat sweetmeats on the morrow and taste the sugar on me tongue, still f*ck women and feel the pleasure in me bollocks. And, Charlie—mark me well, now—I'll still kill ye and laugh in yer ugly face as I do it."
Author: Elizabeth Hoyt
6. "Mere lack of evidence, of course, is no reason to denounce a theory. Look at intelligent design. The fact that it is bollocks hasn't stopped a good many people from believing in it. Darwinism itself is only supported by tons of evidence, which is a clear indication that Darwin didn't write his books himself."
Author: Eric Idle
7. "We want different things. Men want to have sex with a woman. Then they want to have sex with another woman. And then another. Then they want to eat cornflakes and sleep for a while, and then they want to have sex with another woman, and another, until they die. Women,' and I thought I'd better pick my words carefully when describing a gender I didn't belong to, ‘want a relationship. They may not get it, or they may sleep with a lot of men before they do get it, but ultimately that's what they want. That's the goal. Men do not have goals. Natural ones. So they invent them, and put them at either end of a football pitch. And then they invent football. Or they pick fights, or try and get rich, or start wars, or come up with any number of daft bloody things to make up for the fact that they have no real goals.'‘Bollocks,' said Ronnie.‘That, of course, is the other main difference."
Author: Hugh Laurie
8. "The big bad monster wasn't green and hiding under the bed, it wore tasteless floral prints, bright scarlet lipstick and sat in the kitchen smoking and saying 'bollocks' alot."
Author: Jo Brand
9. "Fate is a fickle bitch. Just when you believe you've secured the goose that lays the golden egg, she back heels you in the bollocks."
Author: Ken Scott
10. "Amelia told me once about a suspicion she'd had for a while. It bothered her quite a bit. She said that Win and I had fallen ill with scarlet fever, and you made the deadly nightshade syrup, you'd concocted gar more than was necessary. And you kept a cup on it on Win's nightstand, like some sort of macabre nightcap. Amelia said that if Win had died, she thought you would have taken the rest of that poison. And I've always hated you for that. Because you forced me to stay alive without the woman I loved, while you had no bloody hell intention of doing the same."Merripen didn't answer, gave no sign that he registered Leo's words."Christ, man," Leo said huskily. "If you had the bollocks to die with her, don't you think you could work up the courage to live with her?"
Author: Lisa Kleypas
11. "Carpe Dium, I say. Seize the day. Grab it by the throat and rattle its bollocks"
Author: Liz Jensen
12. "EnglishSo much to say, so little time. Miss Wilson kept interrupting our chat with her so-called love of Shakespeare. Forgoodness' sake. Hers is not the love that dares not speak its name, hers is the love that bangs on and on about Billy. It's all "What ho, my lord" and "Oh look, here comes MacBeth talking total bollocks."
Author: Louise Rennison
13. "Bollocks to should."
Author: Nick Harkaway
14. "He was a fundamentalist – a pragmatic one perhaps, but a fundamentalist nonetheless, for whom all the failures of the ideal were due to the misapplication of the ideal, all the barbarity of the system was extraneous to that system and accidental to it. ‘Sophistry' said Leo later, or to use the technical term, Bollocks."
Author: Patrick McGuinness
15. "I wanted to dismantle the bollocks that there's a military structure to a gang, with a leader, second leader, the good looking one, first babe, second babe. It's far more arbitrary than that and their values shouldn't be romanticised. They aren't something you want to sign up to."
Author: Peter Mullan
16. "You finish a movie and you think, there, you've done it, really well, or best you can. But if you watch it, you see it was just bollocks."
Author: Richard Grant
17. "It's that wounded-poet crap, that soul-pain shit, that too-much-of-a-tortured-genius-to-wash bollocks. Brush your teeth, you little bastard. You're not fucking Byron."
Author: Robert Galbraith
18. "We're going to bollocks up our second chance at Eden, even before the paint has dried."
Author: Stephen Baxter
19. "You've never kicked him in the bollocks - that should speak volumes to you."
Author: Suzanne Wright
20. "-You're pretty hard-boiled, Tinker Bell.-Call me that name again and you'll be wondering how your bollocks wound up lodged in your windpipe--from below. Just because we don't get to your side of things much anymore doesn't mean we don't know anything. 'If you believe in fairies, clap your hands!' If you believe in fairies, kiss my rosy pink arse is more like it. Now are you going to shut your gob or not?"
Author: Tad Williams
21. "Privately, I consider religion to be a load of bollocks, but when you have a sobbing five year old wanting to know what happened to her hamster, you develop an instant belief in anything that dissolves some of the heartbreak off her face."
Author: Tana French
22. "We have to get out of here, Bram. Before they take our bollocks and use them for pincushions."
Author: Tessa Dare
23. "Bollocks to the rules!"
Author: William Golding

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It is not at all coincidental that Darwinian psychology has the same difficulty explaining the unity and integration of human reasoning as Darwinian biology has explaining the unity and integration of irreducibly complex functions. Practical and theoretical reasoning is often irreducibly complex. A given argument has several well-matched, interacting reasons, and the removal of any one of them makes the argument break down."
Author: Angus Menuge

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