Top Comedians Quotes

Browse top 118 famous quotes and sayings about Comedians by most favorite authors.

Favorite Comedians Quotes

1. "Who would I kill?" I asked, sitting up from him, wiping my face."Who?""Yeah, I mean, is it random, or do you choose them?""Well." He grinned and picked an ant off the rug, then tossed it onto the grass. "I usually avoid eating comedians as much as possible.""Why?" I asked slowly."Because they taste funny." His brows rose. I imagined a tumbleweed rolling past as I listened for crickets. "That wasn't funny."
Author: A.M. Hudson
2. "The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off."
Author: Alexei Sayle
3. "Louis C. K. is one of my all time favorite standup comedians."
Author: Aubrey Plaza
4. "It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive."
Author: Bob Saget
5. "Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career."
Author: Chris Rock
6. "I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian."
Author: Colin Quinn
7. "The only one that got through was Jimmy Walker, because he plays the gas station attendant. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just that we were kind of purists at the time, and we didn't want any comedians."
Author: David Zucker
8. "To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it."
Author: Don Rickles
9. "Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody."
Author: Florenz Ziegfeld
10. "Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed."
Author: Gabriel Iglesias
11. "I wanted to do - there was this film called 'Magic' that Anthony Hopkins did. And the director wanted me. The writer wanted me. Joe Levine said no, I don't want any comedians in this."
Author: Gene Wilder
12. "It's always impressive when talented comedians are easy laughers or generous with their laughs."
Author: Hank Azaria
13. "I love mixing with comedians when I'm working with them, but when I'm not I don't feel the need to hang around with them."
Author: Jack Dee
14. "If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me."
Author: Jack Dee
15. "Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not."
Author: James Lipton
16. "Comedians second-guessing themselves is scary. Poor taste is not a crime and we can't forget that."
Author: Jeff Ross
17. "The women doing comedy do not even think of themselves as 'female' comedians."
Author: Jen Kirkman
18. "The funniest part of that joke is, 'say what you will about Hitler'."-to Ricky Gervais on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee"
Author: Jerry Seinfeld
19. "Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity."
Author: Jim Butcher
20. "Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you."
Author: Jim Gaffigan
21. "Sure, the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs, but they're uncomfortable laughs."
Author: John Ratzenberger
22. "I like seeing comedians do stuff that I could never do."
Author: Josh Thomas
23. "Comedians and jazz musicians have been more comforting and enlightening to me than preachers or politicians or philosophers or poets or painters or novelists of my time. Historians in the future, in my opinion, will congratulate us on very little other than our clowning and our jazz."
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
24. "I think comedians start off as pranksters or something."
Author: Kyle Dunnigan
25. "I don't really get to see a lot of other comedians, because I work with the same people all the time. The guy I really like is Nick DiPaulo. I love Nick DiPaulo, but again, he's a buddy of mine. But I liked him for a long time. I liked him before he was a buddy of mine."
Author: Larry The Cable Guy
26. "Old radio comedy makes me laugh, as well as 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' and comedians like Paul Merton."
Author: Lynne Truss
27. "Comedians in their infancy are generally selfish, irresponsible, emotionally retarded, morally dubious, substance-addicted animals who live out of boxes and milk crates. They are plagued with feelings of failure and fraudulence. They are prone to fleeting fits of manic grandiosity and are completely dependent on the acceptance and approval of rooms full of strangers, strangers the comedian resents until he feels sufficiently loved and embraced.Perhaps I am only speaking for myself here."
Author: Marc Maron
28. "As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time."
Author: Maria Bamford
29. "I'm such a comedy fan that I just love laughing and so admire comedians who have brought me joy."
Author: Miranda Hart
30. "The comedians indulge us in laughter, the politicians amuse us with blunder"
Author: Mohammed Abad Alrazak
31. "If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty."
Author: Olivia Munn
32. "But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake."
Author: Parker Posey
33. "In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism."
Author: Paul Merton
34. "Many comedians have a dark side that lets them take a negative thing and turn it funny."
Author: Rachel Dratch
35. "Comedians still make fun of Bill's out-of-control appetites, but with Hillary, the mockery is about how she lets nothing be out of control."
Author: Rich Lowry
36. "I think for comedians, acting is their natural progression. It's all about progression."
Author: Russell Peters
37. "Jews have a tendency to become comedians."
Author: Sacha Baron Cohen
38. "After the comedy boom of the '80s, there was a certain formula that comedians had to do and could do in order to be successful touring comedians, and those were mainly observational comedians who had a very strict structure of what made an act, and I think it was very performance oriented."
Author: Scott Aukerman
39. "I grew up loving David Letterman and Pee-wee Herman, but as far as live performance comedy, all I knew were the Jerry Seinfeld-type comedians of the world, and that's what I thought live performance comedy was all about."
Author: Scott Aukerman
40. "Comedians... they're different from actors. There's more ego there. They create the whole thing, I guess, so they're more precious."
Author: Sharon Horgan
41. "Who is to blame? The filth peddler, of course, but even more than this vulgar entertainer, the filth consumer, the public. So long as men are corrupt and revel in sewer filth, entertainers will sell them what they want. Laws may be passed, arrests may be made, lawyers may argue, courts may sentence and jails may harbor men of corrupt minds, but pornography and allied insults to decency will never cease until men have cleansed their minds and cease to require and pay for such vile stuff. When the customer is sick and tired of being drowned in filth by the comedians, he will not pay for that filth and its source will dry up."
Author: Spencer W. Kimball
42. "My heroes - people like Woody Allen - were stand-up comedians. Therefore, I always felt I should give it a go."
Author: Stephen Merchant
43. "I guess as you get older you sort of see the mechanics, even with the best comedians. There's admiration for people I admire, but it's not guttural laughter. It's a wry 'Oh, well done, sir.' But I sort of miss that slightly; I miss the raw joy of comedy I used to get."
Author: Stephen Merchant
44. "Within a few years these "jokes" as we comedians call them, will have been entirely purged from my work in favour, exclusively, of grinding repetition, embarrassing silence and passive-aggressive monotony."
Author: Stewart Lee
45. "I am sick of reading on Daily Mail message boards that I am 'one of these foul-mouthed modern comedians' when I am absolutely not. Honestly, who are these cunts?"
Author: Stewart Lee
46. "Comedians take a neat situation and turn it into a mess. And in my books I do the same thing, but it's the other way around. I like to mess around with mess. A mess is only a mess because someone tells you it is."
Author: Ursus Wehrli
47. "It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians."
Author: Wanda Sykes
48. "I think that we're in a really amazing time, where there are really a lot of really fantastic female actresses and comedians. I imagine there's just a lot of opportunity for women to have powerful roles. Or it's just that there's more women writing TV. Women tend to maybe write strong women."
Author: Whitney Cummings
49. "Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke."
Author: Will Rogers
50. "Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds."
Author: Yakov Smirnoff

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Your inner strength is your outer foundation"
Author: Allan Rufus

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