Top Diapers Quotes

Browse top 45 famous quotes and sayings about Diapers by most favorite authors.

Favorite Diapers Quotes

1. "Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces."
Author: Amy Poehler
2. "If you were out of a job and your kid needed diapers and your husband just left you, you would be so confused."
Author: Barbara Steele
3. "Literature simply becomes richer after you've been fired, rejected, stranded, or had to change a few midnight diapers."
Author: Christian Bauman
4. "Do I have to get diapers?" he asked."Why, did Kade shit himself?" she laughed.Dylan huffed loudly.  Eyebrows knitted together, "DO I NEED TO GET BOTTLES?"Jen rolled her eyes and shook her head as if he were crazy, "Don't you think it's too early to start drinking?  You just got up…""IS THERE ANYTHING IN YOUR OVEN?""I'M NOT BAKING ANYTHING, YOU MORON! WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?"My God, you have surrounded me with idiots."
Author: Christine Zolendz
5. "One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: don't change diapers in midstream."
Author: Don Marquis
6. "But playing your music as loud as you want and coming home drunk aren't real life. Real life, it turns out, is diapers and lawnmowers, decks that need painting, a wife that needs to be listened to, kids that need to be taught right from wrong, a checkbook, an oil change, a sunset behind a mountain, laughter at a kitchen table, too much wine, a chipped tooth, and a screaming child."
Author: Donald Miller
7. "I, Gavin MacKenzie, sexycowboy man of Baker City, Oregon …being of sound mind and hot body … dohereby declare that I love you, AndieMarks, lawyer extraordinaire, and wantto be married to you until I'm so old, Ieither die or my pecker falls off.I will have sexwith you whenever you want, and I willalways give you the option to be on topif that's what will make you happy.Blowjobs will always be optional butappreciated.I will change diapers when calledfor, both for our children and for youwhen you're old and decrepit. I willnever spit in public or burp too loudly orsay mean things about your friends.I promise never to raise my handagainst you in anger or tell you thatyou're useless or threaten to hurt peoplewho you love. Ten-four, over and out,happily ever after. Those are my vows."
Author: Elle Casey
8. "When she had the strength, she began to fold the tiny clothes and blankets and cloth diapers and put them into plain brown boxes. She didn't stop working, but the sobs came and distorted her face, bleared her eyes, made her nose run. She didn't hear Jack come to the door. When she looked up he was watching her silently, and then he turned away, uncomfortable, embarrassed by her unharnessed grief. He didn't put his hand on her shoulder. Didn't hold her. Didn't say a word. Even these many years later, she was unable to forgive him that."
Author: Eowyn Ivey
9. "Heroes don't wear diapers. It's just not cool."
Author: Felix Baumgartner
10. "Yes, you make yourself useful, angel boy. Meanwhile, I'll be in the bathroom." William's jet-black hair was dripping wet and plastered to his face. There was a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist, displaying muscles that rivaled Paris's own, and a tattooed treasure map that led to his man junk. Looking at his, you could see the makings of a temper so savage anyone who miraculously survived an encounter with him would end up needing therapy. And diapers. "I've got to finish deep conditioning my hair."Or maybe not so savage."
Author: Gena Showalter
11. "The real Michael Jackson that has not been seen... with children, one in diapers, the other two toddlers."
Author: Geraldo Rivera
12. "A photograph of a disposable diaper floating in the arctic miles away from human habitat fueled my daily determination to save at least one disposable diaper from being used and created. One cloth diaper after another, days accumulated into years and now our next child is using the cloth diapers we bought for our firstborn."
Author: Gloria Ng
13. "I've raised Michael. I changed his diapers when he was little."
Author: Jackie Jackson
14. "I need to hire a babysitter for Friday night. I also need to buy myself some adult diapers."
Author: Jarod Kintz
15. "I'm not opposed to new people, I just don't like their packaging (diapers)."
Author: Jarod Kintz
16. "Dad says Specter gets steak every Saturday night for the rest of his life.""Specter will hold him to that, I'm sure." Diana leaned back against the pillows. "Hurry up and tell me the rest. OnceColby gets back, he probably won't tell me a thing. All he'll want to discuss is breast-feeding techniques and how tochange diapers."
Author: Jayne Ann Krentz
17. "Whether you call it Attachment Parenting, natural parenting, or simple maternal instincts, this false "return" to traditional parenting is just a more explicit and deliberate version of the often unnamed parenting gender divide. Whether you're wearing you baby or not, whether you're using cloth diapers or teaching your four-week-old to use the toilet; it's still women who are doing the bulk of child care, no matter what the parenting philosophy. Putting a fancy name to the fact that we're still doing all the goddamn work doesn't make it any less sexist or unfair"
Author: Jessica Valenti
18. "I'll be around, princess. If you ever need me , just send a note. Or a gremlin. Or whatever." Stepping back, he raised a hand to Ash, who nodded solemnly."Catch ya later, ice-boy. Maybe next time I see you , you'll be changing diapers and reading beadtime stories."he snickered and shook his head. "Ah, who would've thought you'd be the one tied down with a family, prince ? How the mighty have fallen."
Author: Julie Kagawa
19. "Minds, like diapers, need occasional changing."
Author: Karen Cushman
20. "I was husband for a week. Changed the baby's diapers. There's somebody in a suburb in Melbourne who doesn't even know i wiped his ass"
Author: Keith Richards
21. "I met Cynthia when I was 12, proposed at 16, became engaged at 17, married her at 19 and we had a baby when I was 20. If extra work could pay for a lot of diapers, that was for me."
Author: Kent McCord
22. "Please consult your child's Witch doctor before using this product. Diapers may cause severe allergies, internal bleeding, and irreversible sex change."
Author: Kenya Wright
23. "You can take care of him," she insisted. This was madness. This was a true example of temporary insanity."I can't.""Why not?" She demanded."Umm...I don't...like..." I couldn't say diapers. I had my own baby! "I don't like... black... babies..."
Author: L.D. Davis
24. "No one's raising children any more. To love a child, you've got to work for it. You have to change its diapers and feed it at night!"
Author: Lauren Hutton
25. "Jack had been my best friend since we'd been in diapers,"
Author: Liliana Hart
26. "I don't know that I'm going to entirely do cloth diapers. I'd like to be ambitious about it, but in all honesty, I can't say that I will."
Author: Lisa Ling
27. "Murderers — serving life sentences — were caring for their dying fellow inmates. Washing their bed-sore covered bodies, changing their diapers, holding their hands while they took their last breath. It was the other side of death, not the one at the end of a sudden muzzle flash, but the slow and wrenching kind, leaving plenty of time for hard reflection."
Author: Lisa R. Cohen
28. "She was wearing her fuzzy pink hat and she was happy, which was so obnoxious. She'd become one of those people who waltzed through life without so much as a split end, and I was still one of those people who changed diapers for free but still got treated like a rented mule."
Author: Lorraine Zago Rosenthal
29. "I'll tell you my routine - it's really exciting. I feed, I burp, I change diapers, I pump. And then I have a tiny window of time to myself."
Author: Marcia Cross
30. "Now you tell me, when a father goes ahead and washes diapers or performs some other mean task for his child, and someone ridicules him as an effeminate fool, though that father is acting in the spirit just described and in Christian faith, my dear fellow you tell me, which of the two is most keenly ridiculing the other? God, with all his angels and creatures, is smiling, not because that father is washing diapers, but because he is doing so in Christian faith. Those who sneer at him and see only the task but not the faith are ridiculing God with all his creatures, as the biggest fool on earth. Indeed, they are only ridiculing themselves; with all their cleverness they are nothing but devil's fools."
Author: Martin Luther
31. "I am also, well… I'm in awe. He's killed people, and saved people. He's fought monsters, and he's fought men who became monsters. He's saved kingdoms and toppled empires. Now he has set himself against the gods to save a universe… and I used to change his diapers. I used to yell at him to make his bed."
Author: Matthew Woodring Stover
32. "Still waiting for them to make reversible diapers, maybe with teflon coating..."
Author: Neil Leckman
33. "Kate lowered her nose to Emily's head and breathed in Johnson's baby shampoo, a hormonal cocktail that among women who have children not long out of diapers drew the Pavlovian, ANOTHER."
Author: Nichole Bernier
34. "Real men change diapers!"
Author: Nick Cannon
35. "In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot."
Author: Patti Smith
36. "Everything?s fine," I said, with a tight smile. "Kiyo was just giving me his latest explanation about how my son is a terror to be feared." Dorian scoffed. "Little Thundro? A terror? Hardly, unless perhaps we?re discussing diapers."
Author: Richelle Mead
37. "My son claims he "loves me," but the contents with which he fills diapers HE KNOWS I'LL BE CHANGING suggests otherwise."
Author: Rob Delaney
38. "Snap judgments? I'd gotten over those about the time I was toilet trained. Swore off diapers and faith in the human experience all in one week."
Author: Rob Thurman
39. "Having twin girls is a life changer - that's for sure. But I like getting up and changing diapers. It's the things you do."
Author: Roger Federer
40. "So: this is where we are going to become parents. You walk into the building as a couple, and leave a few minutes later as a family. You walk in recollecting long romantic dinners, nights at the theater, and care-free vacations. You leave worrying about where to get diapers, milk, and Cheerios."
Author: Scott Simon
41. "Any more bitching from the geriatric crew? What a bunch of old women. Should I hire another crewmate to change your bed diapers while I'm at it? Next time I'll let The League have you. Vik, I'm relinquishing control back to you. (Devyn)It's what I live for. By the way, ye organic life forms aren't the only ones who've soiled themselves. Can I have a minute to attend my needs, Captain Asshole? (Vik)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
42. "Sex is the strongest force in the universe. Forget about the Grand Unifying Theory, Stephen Hawking, I'll tell you what it is: women. Aren't women the strongest sex? What force is more magnetic than that? It's not just pussy. We're attracted to women for their energy. We're attracted to their fluidness, their ability to nurture a baby without even knowing how, to be able to put up with screaming and crying and colic and shitty diapers where men would go, "I'm fucking outta here! I'm gonna go kill me a saber-toothed woolly mammoth an'bring it on home to eat tonight. Wa-haaaaaa!" We don't have tits; we couldn't nourish a gnat."
Author: Steven Tyler
43. "He felt around desperately for a weapon. What did he have? Diapers? Cookies? Oh, why hadn't they given him a sword? He was the stupid warrior, wasn't he? His fingers dug in the leather bag and closed around the root beer can. Root beer! He yanked out the can shaking it with all his might. "Attack! Attack!" he yelled."
Author: Suzanne Collins
44. "The cashier – a bubble popping juvenile delinquent – asks me, "Will that be all?" I look at the bags of diapers that are now bagged in my cart and then at the empty belt. He is staring at me with his watery marijuana eyes, waiting for my answer."Um, no, I'd like all this invisible shit too." I wave a hand at the conveyer and he is actually dumb enough to look."
Author: Tarryn Fisher
45. "Put something on,"she hissed."I'm not some high school cheerleader you can intimidate or make me squirm by showing your penis. I've seen it before.I was the one who changed your diapers."-fallen crest high"
Author: Tijan

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