Top Dicks Quotes

Browse top 34 famous quotes and sayings about Dicks by most favorite authors.

Favorite Dicks Quotes

1. "Can we all just stop being dicks?!"
Author: Adam Hills
2. "You ordered me here," I said finally breaking the silence."I did," Ryder said with his lopsided grin that looked more dangerous than friendly."I'm here," I mumbled."You are.""...""Okay, we gonna measure dicks all day Ryder, or are we gonna sign a contract?" I snapped."You don't have a dick Syn, I would have noticed," Ryder's smile lifted roguishly."
Author: Amelia Hutchins
3. "Your quick ‘no' is because I refused to say ‘yes' to sex. They say men think with their dicks. I hope you do not run Easton with your—"
Author: Avery Aster
4. "Gisaroli is no better than Donatella. You're both knockin' Easton off all whilst waving your dicks in my face."
Author: Avery Aster
5. "You know why doctors slap babies on the bottom when they're born? So the dicks fall off the smart ones."He laughed. "You know why women don't have dicks? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink."
Author: Barbara Elsborg
6. "When Charlie arrived home from his mother's funeral, he was met at the door by two very large very enthusiastic canines, who , undistracted by keeping watch over Sophie's love hostage, were now able to visit the full measure of their affection and joy upon their returning master. It is generally agreed, and in fact stated in the bylaws of the American Kennel Club, that you have not been truly dog-humped until you have been double-dog-humped by a pair of four-hundred-pouund hounds from hell (Section 5, paragraph 7: Standards of Humping and Ass-dragging). And despite having used an extra-strength antiperspirant that very morning before leaving Sedona, Charlie found that getting poked repeatedly in the armpits by two damp devil-dog dicks was leaving him feeling less than fresh.Sophie, call them off. Call them off."The puppies are dancing with Daddy," Sophie giggled. "Dance, Daddy!"
Author: Christopher Moore
7. "Nobody else can be alive for you; nor can you be alive for anyone else. Toms can be Dicks and Dicks can be Harrys, but none of them can ever be you."
Author: E.E. Cummings
8. "Three cars for two grown-ups, I thought. What a country. What a couple selfish dicks my wife and her new husband were. I could see that, over the years, my babies would slowly transform into selfish-dick babies, then selfish-dick toddlers, kids, teenagers, and adults, with me all that time skulking around like some unclean suspect uncle."
Author: George Saunders
9. "Watching "a fucking stripper movie" when the strippers have dicks"
Author: Harper Sloan
10. "Men are by wits not by dicks"
Author: Himmilicious
11. "A brick has ten holes in two rows lining the center—perfect so that you and nine of your friends can each stick your little dicks in the brick after a few beers."
Author: Jarod Kintz
12. "Cam starts laughing, "Oh, I love it when she reads." He turns to Lucy who's face is starting to contort and turn to a bright shade of red, "She reads these smutty books, like full on dirty shit, full of sex and like... bdsm shit.""I'm not joking boys, they're like full on pornographic. Talking about silky shafts and veiny dicks and shit," Logan is now on the ground holding his side from the pain of laughing too hard."Sometimes she'll be reading, then all of sudden she'll put her book down and look at me like she wants to eat me, literally eat me!" he yells, laughing harder, still swatting away her hands that are trying to shut him up, "I mean I don't mind it, not at all. It's hot as fuck. And she wants to try everything she reads in these books. Like... everything. She learns everything from these books... so I don't give a shit when, of how much she reads, I get rewards."
Author: Jay McLean
13. "The two men eyed each other. Assessing strengths. Looking for weaknesses. Measuring dicks once again"
Author: Jennifer Estep
14. "The two men stared at each other. Assumptions were made, judgments rendered, dicks measured."
Author: Jennifer Estep
15. "I have done extensive research and, almost universally, found that the people who view my blurbs and observations as "anti-family" are dicks."
Author: Jim Gaffigan
16. "All erect dicks are bent. Or, if not all, then at least enough of them to be eulogized in a poem."
Author: Karl Ove Knausgård
17. "Every time I jerked off over the past few days, I thought about you. Forget the chicks—I'm going with the dicks. Well," he made a face, "one dick, I mean. My own private dick. Start off slow, you know, and then build up to the orgies."Rhodes brought his lips down onto Wash's smiling mouth. "My dick," Rhodes growled against the curve of Wash's lips. "And my dick only. Remember that."
Author: Katie Allen
18. "As they walked into the living room, Trevor cleared his throat loudly. "We're coming in. Hands where I can see them, dicks where I can't."
Author: Katie Allen
19. "I can't take a dick-measuring contest.". . ."I know Meshack has a big one. And from what I've felt, Zulu is big. Both of your dicks are equally big."
Author: Kenya Wright
20. "Shut up, Kelsey, and just give Lissa a chance," Chloe snapped.Kelsey mocked surprise. "Oh my God, Chloe can speak? I thought her mouth only worked for sucking dicks. It's a miracle."
Author: Kody Keplinger
21. "Babe, best wool men ever pulled was lettin' women think we think with our dicks. We pay a fuckuva lot of attention. We know your shit maybe more than you do because we live it right along with you and some of you try to make us eat it. It's just that some of us choose not to get sucked in the drama and instead focus on getting laid regularly."
Author: Kristen Ashley
22. "It's hard to have a serious conversation with you when you're wearin' lighted cocks on your head."AJ defiantly thrust out her chin and the penises bobbled. "We aren't having a conversation. You're give me tough-guy attitude. If you won't acknowledge me in public, you don't have the right to chastise me for anything I do in public or in private. And now you lost the right to do anything to me in private either, bucko.""Quit bein' so goddamm childish."Her eyes narrowed to silver slits. "Quit bein' such a goddamn dickhead.""You're the one with dicks on your head, baby doll.""Yeah? I can take mine off any old time I please, but you wear your dickhead like a second skin. Or should I say as a second foreskin?"
Author: Lorelei James
23. "Ah-ha! I knew it! Penis problems""Well, it seems that the cause of some of my problems happens to have a penis. Well, two actually,""Oh sweet Mary! You're dating a guy with two dicks?""Ginger, no! It's about two different guys.""Oh," she says, obviously disappointed. "Damn. That woulda been kinda cool."
Author: M. Leighton
24. "Well it seems the cause of some of my problems happens to have a penis. Well, two actually.""Oh sweet Mary! You're dating a guy with two dicks.""Ginger, no! It's about two different guys.""Oh," she says, obviously disappointed. "Damn. That woulda been kinda cool.""How so?""I don't know. One for each hole?""You're sick, you know that?""Yeah pretty much."
Author: M. Leighton
25. "What was that you were saying about my mother?""She likes big dicks." Deacon slammed him hard in the gut, knocking him to the floor. "So does your wife."
Author: Mercy Celeste
26. "I've seen pictures of their dicks so I know I can trust them."
Author: Mykle Hansen
27. "My folks wouldn't read a book if you put a gun to their dicks. but they read people all day long and always get it right."
Author: Pat Conroy
28. "The suite was set: Chris and I in the left, back room; Tom and Ricky in the left, front room; Junior and Danny Tampon in the back, right room next to the bathroom; and Dickstein all by his peanut-dick-self in the front, right room. It was quite a radical change from the suite that surrounded me, Chris, and Tom the previous year. Just getting rid of Lebeuf was addition by subtraction. The Beachside Dorm, Suite 524, would be one of the happiest places in my two-decade life. Freedom of expression was never diminished, unless Dickstein opened his mouth and shit flew out of it."
Author: Phil Wohl
29. "Despite their common reputation as agents of God's will, forces of good, and the gold standard for morality, all the angels Dean had met over the last year had been shifty, manipulative dicks. Except Cas, of course."
Author: Rebecca Dessertine
30. "That narrows down the search quite a bit," Daniel commented. "But what if you still don't find her?""Then I'm still not going to join the throng of mindless dicks out there looking for a dizney-whore to take advantage of." Will was frowning but Daniel laughed explosively through his nose."I can't believe you just said that!"
Author: Rebekah Joy Anast
31. "At last she said, "Them Burdicks isn't worth the powder and shot to blow them up. They're like a pack of hound dogs. They'll chase livestock, suck eggs, and lick the skillet. And steal? They'd steal a hot stove and come back for the smoke."
Author: Richard Peck
32. "I'll tell you what's real. Real is that I was in jail for the past year, rooming with drug dealers and eating crap food your dog wouldn't touch. Real is not being able to wear your own frickin' underwear and showering with twenty-five other dicks every day while guards watch. Real is my next-door neighbor who walks like she's balancing on stilts because her leg is so fucked up from the accident. Brian, your perception of reality is totally off."
Author: Simone Elkeles
33. "Chicks before dicks, and all that."
Author: Sylvia Day
34. "Ah, men losing the power in their dicks. When they can no longer f___ their women, they f___ the world."
Author: Victor Robert Lee

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Author: Aaron Allston

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