Famous Quotes About Douche

Browse 64 famous quotes and sayings about Douche.

Top Quotes About Douche

1. "I steel myself for a smirk, an arrogant chuckle, or some sort of recognition, but he's leaning back in his chair, alternating between absently studying his fingernails and writing in the small black journal I first saw in the auditorium. (My guess? "Today I was a total douche for no reason. The End.")"
Author: A.M. Robinson
2. "Nice to meet His Creepiness," Zahara said with a sneer. "In case your douchebag of a boss has never told you, sneaking up on a girl with a blade is never a nice way of saying hello." ~Zahara"
Author: Annabell Cadiz
3. "So tell me i'm wrong, cursed me when i'm started being a douchebag and all. Then i'll let you know how much i love you, lads."
Author: Ariel Seraphino
4. "Six hours later, when I returned, I was greeted at the door- and this before it was even opened -by the overpowering smell of vinegar. What were my neighbors thinking? That a douche-obsessed woman with a gigantic, three-foot vagina lived next door?"
Author: Augusten Burroughs
5. "First the fact that the only items on open display seem to be tampons, breast pumps, and douches, making one feel as a female more soiled and wretched than even two thousand years of Catholic catechism could do."
Author: Belle De Jour
6. "Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags."
Author: Bryan Lee O'Malley
7. "Listen, kiddo," he said. "I'm a selfish prick, and I want to be the greatest fuck of your life and ruin you for every man who comes after me. But I'm not a mind reader, so I need some help. Otherwise I could end up as the douchebag who's got shitty taste in wine and totally traumatized you when you were thirty."
Author: Cara McKenna
8. "I immediately felt better about killing him. I've never known a Trevor who wasn't a total douchebag. It's just one of those names that goes so nicely with selfish, arrogant, malicious behavior—and really, what did I know about this guy? Nothing, except that his name was Trevor and he'd been nabbed in the midst of breaking-and-entering. That was plenty."
Author: Cherie Priest
9. "People are douche bags. Many people. Not all. But you know, most.Which is why we destroyed the world."
Author: Christopher Moore
10. "And Rusty is a douche! And the wind in my hair smells like whoosh!" Cade laughed, "Don't you mean sounds?" "What sounds?""Nevermind," he chuckled"
Author: Cora Carmack
11. "I hate fucking pussies like that." Felix reached out and shook Hector's hand. "Good for you, man. I would've cracked him too." He turned and pointed at Abel. "Let me know if you need help with that. I'll donate to the cause. We'll call it 'Cracking Down on Future Fucking Douchebag Wife Beaters of the World.' Can't think of a better charity."
Author: Elizabeth Reyes
12. "She talks like you. It's not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag who's only holding Cinderella back." "That's my girl."
Author: Emma Chase
13. "For God's sake, don't let her watch Cinderella. What kind of example is that? A mindless twit who can't even remember where she left her damn shoe, so she has to wait for some douchebag in tights to bring it to her? Give me a frigging break!"
Author: Emma Chase
14. "You're smart, pretty, and you aren't a douche purse."
Author: Gena Showalter
15. "I may have at some point referred to him as a douche nozzle."
Author: Hannah Harrington
16. "We have about three hours of homework a night, and our evening study period is only two hours, so if you want to spend the break at half-past-nine not freaking out, you have to cram. I'm not sure that the picture of the wide-eyed zombie girl biting out the brains of senior douchebag James Page is part of Sam's homework, bit if it is, his physics teacher is awesome."
Author: Holly Black
17. "Yeah, okay, I might've overreacted, but it's just because I care about you. You're my sister and I'm supposed to act like a douche when it comes to guys you're with." "You got that part down to a science," Jase muttered. Cam flipped him off."
Author: J. Lynn
18. "I do not want any guys to hit on me. Innocent flirting, fine -- it does wonders for my confidence -- but not douchebags."
Author: J.A. Redmerski
19. "Rhiannon's Law #22. You can't lie to yourself, so don't bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years - that you are an idiot."
Author: J.A. Saare
20. "A toast" I yelled, climbing onto a chair. On my way to the top, I stole someone's beer and held it out in front of me. "To douche bags!" I said gesturing to Brad. "And to girls that break your heart." I bowed to Abby. My throat tightened. "And to the absolute fucking horror of losing your best friend because you were stupid enough to fall in love with her." -Travis Maddox"
Author: Jamie McGuire
21. "I should have seen it coming." The words don't surprise me, but they piss me off. I pull away and glare down at her. "Don't you fucking dare, Nell Hawthorne. Don't you dare put this on yourself. You should never have to see shit like this coming." She backs away, stunned and afraid by the intensity I know is radiating off me. "Colton, I just meant he's always shown—" "Stop. Just stop right there. Granted, you should've never gotten involved with a douchetard like him, but that's no excuse for what he did."
Author: Jasinda Wilder
22. "No one suspects the people they love of douchebaggery," Heidi looks at me sympathetically."Or slutbaggery," Lucy adds."
Author: Jay McLean
23. "Your attempt at GQ has, tragically, ended in douche-bag. - Anna, Seers of Light"
Author: Jennifer DeLucy
24. "I'm Dee Black. I'm the sister of the douchebag known as Daemon." She smiled brightly. "But you probably already know that.""That's he's a douchebag or that he's your brother?" Archer asked innocently. "The answer is yes to both."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
25. "Thanks," I muttered and added under my breath, "Douchebag."He laughed, deep and throaty. "Now that's not very ladylike, Kittycat."I whipped around. "Don't ever call me that," I snapped."It's better than calling someone a douchebag, isn't it?" He pushed out the door. "This has been a stimulating visit. I'll cherish it for a long time to come."Okay. That was it. "You know, you're right. How wrong of me to call you a douchebag. Because a douchebag is too nice of a word for you," I said, smiling sweetly. "You're a dickhead.""A dickhead?" he repeated. "How charming."I flipped him off."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
26. "The guy just stood there. Hello. There're zombies everywhere. Try looking behind you, douche canoe."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
27. "And he paddled away in his douche canoe."
Author: Joe Hill
28. "SpookSpeak. Douche diligence n. (CIA) Investigation and assessment performed prior to recommending a potential intelligence asset for recruitment."
Author: John Alejandro King
29. "I may or may nothave once tossed a guy out of her store for flirtingwith her.Total douchebag. Wore ascarf indoors." -Nick"
Author: Julie James
30. "You three don't like any of the men I introduce you to. You didn't even like the Hot OB.""The HOT OB was a douche," Charlie said."This mystery man better not be another douche, Brooke," Ford warned. "I can't spend six innings trapped in a skybox with a douche."
Author: Julie James
31. "What kind of parents willingly name their kid Spud? They should be arrested for douchebaggery."
Author: Katie Kacvinsky
32. "People who go around advertising their birthdays are douchebags. It's a fact. You can look it up on Wikipedia."
Author: Katja Millay
33. "The Top Ten Reasons Why Virgin Val Sucks10. She called me a one-hit-wonder.9. She doesn't appreciate the endearing nickname I gave her.8. She makes me write stupid blogs about her at four in the morning.7. She's encouraging people not to have sex.6. She blew me off when I asked her out.5. She has a crush on a douche bag.4. She won't answer any of my calls.3. She's such a tease with her look-but-don't-touch policy.2. I played a whole effing concert just for her and she didn't come even though she told me she would. (You're such a liar!)And the #1 reason why Virgin Val sucks?I still want her anyway."
Author: Kelly Oram
34. "What luck. I chose the douche-y sounding one."
Author: Kendare Blake
35. "Vestigial remnants of hunter behavior manifests itself as douchebaggery in males when confronted with the emasculating role of modern man, where they are no longer expected to provide food, shelter, or even spiritual guidance for their families but rather stay out of the way until it's time to perform in the bedroom."
Author: Kevin Hearne
36. "This guy is an epic douche. Kick his shiny ass, Atticus, Oberon said.I compartmentalized his comment and resolved to enjoy it later. I glared at this would be usurper and said in my most authoritative voice, "Aenghus Og, you have broken Druidic law by killing the land around us and opening a gate to hell, unleashing demons on this plane. I judge you guilty and sentence you to death."Amen, Atticus! Testify!"
Author: Kevin Hearne
37. "I watch way too much television and like a lot of shows, so I'm always excited to meet those people and hope they're not douchey."
Author: Kevin Rahm
38. "You're worse than a douche bag. You're a douche puddle, the excrement of a douching."
Author: L.D. Davis
39. "She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche."
Author: Larissa Ione
40. "Forget all of our past bullshit, okay? I've got less than a handful of days to convince you that I'm not a complete douche bag, and I want a fair shot. Give it to me."
Author: Liz Reinhardt
41. "I was just telling Steve how much you appreciate motorcycles and it just so happens that he has one" Whoopee. Like I fucking cared."Oh yeah?" I said, glancing at Steve. "What kind of ride?"The douche canoe grinned at me, revealing two perfectly straight and glaringly white rows of teeth. "A BMW," he said. "R12—""A sports bike?" I interrupted, wrinkling up my nose. "How super gay for you."…"Sports bikes are for pussies. True fucking story."
Author: Madeline Sheehan
42. "I'm falling in love with you too, sweetheart. I know you're scared, and I know the shit that dickless douchebag put you through has you doing everything in your power to never go through something like that again, but I'm not him, baby. Don't run from it. Fall with me. Be with me, Ellie. I want to give you every part of myself. I want to be the reason you wake up every day with a smile on your beautiful face. God, Ellie. You own me. You fucking have me by the balls and I don't even care."
Author: N.A. Alcorn
43. "Hell, even I'm a little surprised by Nine--between this and our little heart-to-heart in the doorway earlier, I might have to upgrade him from total douche bag to minor tool."
Author: Pittacus Lore
44. "I know Matt is your friend, but I think he's a douche bag."
Author: Rebekkah Ford
45. "My car has wyvern giblets on the inside and fairy douche on the outside, I deserve the big shower!"
Author: S.L.J. Shortt
46. "Sometimes he was weird, sometimes he was Captain Douchebag, but he was always my best friend."
Author: Sharon Sant
47. "My mouth dropped open, because even if it wasn't my best friend, I knew the guy who was presently rubbing the short stubble on his chin. The only new thing about him was the little scar on his left eyebrow. It was Gabriel Green, known to me as Gabe the douche bag. Great!"
Author: Stephanie Witter
48. "If I was a cynic I would be wondering if sooner or later some charismatic douche-bag might stomp all over this Little House on the Prairie dream of yours."
Author: Stephen Baxter
49. "If you were born an animal—you'd be a Llama," he called after me. That stopped me. Was this douche seriously comparing me to a hairy mammal?"
Author: Tarryn Fisher
50. "She believed being so free with her sexuality was empowering, but I wouldn't say taking home a douchebag who would laugh about the encounter with his friend later is a step forward in the feminist movement."-Lily"
Author: Teresa Lo

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