Top Dumb Quotes

Browse top 903 famous quotes and sayings about Dumb by most favorite authors.

Favorite Dumb Quotes

1. "She probably thought I was making a dumb joke, but sometimes history sounded like a dumb joke. History was either a dumb joke or a cruel joke."
Author: Alan DeNiro
2. "Thus also, from the other end of the history of literacy, one might say, this brilliant story from The Onion, "Nation Shudders at Large Block of Uninterrupted Text" (March 9, 2010):WASHINGTON--Unable to rest their eyes on a colorful photograph or boldface heading that could be easily skimmed and forgotten about, Americans collectively recoiled Monday when confronted with a solid block of uninterrupted text.Dumbfounded citizens from Maine to California gazed helplessly at the frightening chunk of print, unsure of what to do next. Without an illustration, chart, or embedded YouTube video to ease them in, millions were frozen in place, terrified by the sight of one long, unbroken string of English words."Why won't it just tell me what it's about?" said Boston resident Charlyne Thomson, who was bombarded with the overwhelming mass of block text late Monday afternoon. "There are no bullet points, no highlighted parts. I've looked everywhere--there's nothing here but words."
Author: Alan Jacobs
3. "Shut lips, sleeping faces,Every stopped machine,The dumb and littered placesWhere crowds have been:.All silences rejoice,Weep (loudly or low),Speak-but with the voiceOf whom, I do not know."
Author: Aldous Huxley
4. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the dumbest of you all?"
Author: Anne Robinson
5. "As a rule, however fine and deep a phrase may be, it only affects the indifferent, and cannot fully satisfy those who are happy or unhappy; that is why dumbness is most often the highest expression of happiness or unhappiness; lovers understand each other better when they are silent, and a fervent, passionate speech delivered by the grave only touches outsiders, while to the widow and children of the dead man it seems cold and trivial."
Author: Anton Chekhov
6. "I suffer from a unique genetic condition. It's called Dumbass Syndrome and, unfortunately, there's no cure."
Author: Ava Gray
7. "You arrogant, selfish, egotistical, medieval, despotic, swollen-headed, dumb, idiot penis owner!"
Author: Christine Warren
8. "I sense a learning: that much dumber people than you end up in charge."
Author: D.B.C. Pierre
9. "Politicians and sports coaches both need to be smart enough to master the game, but dumb enough to think it matters."
Author: David Mitchell
10. "That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That's what makes a person a dumbass, folks."
Author: David Wong
11. "I am Midnight(cats stare dumbfounded)"
Author: Erin Hunter
12. "Through all he said, even through his appalling sentimentality, i was reminded of something - an elusive rhythm, a fragment of lost words, that i had heard somewhere a long time ago. For a moment, a phrase tried to take shape in my mouth and my lips parted like a dumb man's, as though there was more struggling upon them than a wisp of startled air. But they made no sound, and what i had almost remembered was uncommunicable forever."
Author: F. Scott Fitzgerald
13. "Ditzy dumb blonde? I can be ditzy. I can be."
Author: Goldie Hawn
14. "I have the charisma of the chipmunk. I never have thought I was smart. I thought the people I dealt with were dumb."
Author: Hyman George Rickover
15. "That you're Borges.' Manny laughed. 'Of course you are, you dumb shit. That's the whole point."
Author: James Sallis
16. "Time and task were both disorienting, for if you were to remove everything from our lives that depends on electricity to function, homes and offices would become no more than the chambers and passages of limestone caves- simple shelter from wind and rain, far less useful than the first homes at Plymouth Plantation or a wigwam. No way to keep out cold, or heat, for long. No way to preserve food, or to cook it. The things that define us, quiet as rock outcrops - the dumb screens and dials, the senseless clicks of on/off switches- without their purpose, they lose the measure of their beauty and we are left alone in the dark with countless useless things."
Author: Jane Brox
17. "It's like doing one of those dumb math problems: three people are driving at 20mph in a car carrying two gallons of gas and a horse doing yoga, when a car traveling at 30mph with two clowns drinking cola collides, what time is it in Tokyo? It doesn't make any sense and the only answer I ever come up with is who"
Author: Jane Harvey Berrick
18. "And we were taught to play golf. Golf epitomizes the tame world. On a golf course nature is neutered. The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. Golf turns outdoors into indoors, a prefab mat of stultified grass, processed, pesticided, herbicided, the pseudo-green of formica sterility. Here, the grass is not singing. The wind cannot blow through it. Dumb expression, greenery made stupid, it hums a bland monotone in the key of the mono-minded. No word is emptier than a golf tee. No roots, it has no known etymology, it is verbal nail polish. Worldwide, golf is an arch act of enclosure, a commons fenced and subdued for the wealthy, trampling serf and seedling. The enemy of wildness, it is a demonstration of the absolute dominion of man over wild nature."
Author: Jay Griffiths
19. "To make us a terrorist target in a region that is full of terrorism is dumb and unforgiveable."
Author: John Hewson
20. "And in our Scripture class, Owen said, "IT'S TRUE THAT THE DISCIPLES ARE STUPID - THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT JESUS MEANS, THEY'RE A BUNCH OF BUNGLERS, THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD AS MUCH AS THEY WANT TO BELIEVE, AND THEY EVEN BETRAY JESUS. THE POINT IS, GOD DOESN'T LOVE US BECAUSE WE'RE SMART OR BECAUSE WE'RE GOOD. WE'RE STUPID AND WE'RE BAD AND GOD LOVES US ANYWAY - JESUS ALREADY TOLD THE DUMB-SHIT DISCIPLES WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. "THE SON OF MAN WILL BE DELIVERED INTO THE HANDS OF MEN, AND THEY WILL KILL HIM..." REMEMBER? THAT WAS IN MARK, RIGHT?""Yes, but let's not say "dumb-shit disciples" in class, Owen," Mr. Merrill said."
Author: John Irving
21. "Damn, Ty, I'm getting slizzard," Mel says, sending everyone into bouts of laughter. "Dumb ass, you don't have a G6. You can't get slizzard in a frickin' Prius," I joke with her. We all laugh again"
Author: Julie Prestsater
22. "Chloe Marie Richards, I never thought I would ever be one of those dumbasses who loves a woman so much they want to tie themself to her forever, but here I am, down on one knee trying to think of something sweet and romantic to say. As you can tell, I'm failing miserably, so will you please put me out of my misery and say yes if I ask you to marry me?"
Author: K.A. Robinson
23. "I think that's his point," April said. "Not dumb, maybe. Just naive. I mean we come from a cynical age. Suspicious of everything. Maybe thats the advantage we have.""Yeah our bad attitudes versus their swords and axes and giant wolves," Christopher said darkly."
Author: Katherine Applegate
24. "We're just discussing details of Bronte's wedding."Rose's lips curved as she walked toward him. "Gentlemen discussing wedding details? I think the world must be ending." Picking up his glass, she took a drink of lemonade. It was an innocent, innocuous gesture-and one of the most arousing things he'd ever seen.Archer chuckled, seemingly obviously to Grey's dumb state. "Lucifer is putting on his ice skates as we speak. And on that note, I'm afraid it is time for me to take my leave. I promised Mama I would escort both she and Bronte to the ball tonight, and I have yet to find a suitable mask.""I look forward to trying to ascertain your identity this evening," Rose remarked with a smile that seemed only slightly strained. Regardless, the sight filled Grey with unease. "As do I." Archer bowed over her hand before leaning down to whisper, "Arse," in Grey's ear and punched him in the arm. Hard.Sometimes, Grey hated his brother."
Author: Kathryn Smith
25. "The books he and his supporters wanted out of the schools, one of mine among them, were not pornographic, although he would have liked our audience to think so. (There is the word "motherfucker" one time in my Slaughterhouse-Five, as in "Get out of the road, you dumb motherfucker." Ever since that word was published, way back in 1969, children have been attempting to have intercourse with their mothers. When it will stop no one knows.)"
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
26. "Yes, Yes. Indians were the oldest civilization on Earth, the greatest, the best. And only Indians had culture. Others were all dumb nomads and whores."
Author: Manu Joseph
27. "She said love was useless, because it led you into dumb exchanges in which you gave too much away, and then you got bitter and mean."
Author: Margaret Atwood
28. "Viceversa"Tengo miedo de vertenecesidad de verteesperanza de vertedesazones de vertetengo ganas de hallartepreocupación de hallartecertidumbre de hallartepobres dudas de hallartetengo urgencia de oírtealegría de oírtebuena suerte de oírte y temores de oírteo sea resumiendoestoy jodidoy radiantequizás más lo primeroque lo segundoy tambiénviceversa."
Author: Mario Benedetti
29. "I'm a maker of ballads right prettyI write them right here in the streetYou can buy them all over the cityyours for a penny a sheetI'm a word pecker out of the printersout of the dens of Gin LaneI'll write up a scene on a counter- confessions and sins in the main, boysconfessions and sins in the mainThen you'll find me in Madame Geneva'skeeping the demons at bayThere's nothing like gin for drowning them inbut they'll always be back on a hanging day, on a hanging dayThey come rattling over the cobblesthey sit on their coffins of blackSome are struck dumb, some gabbletop-heavy on brandy or sackThe pews are all full of fine fellowsand the hawker has set up her shopAs they're turning them off at the gallowsshe'll be selling right under the drop, boysselling right under the dropThen you'll find me in Madame Geneva'skeeping the demons at bayThere's nothing like gin for drowning them inbut they'll always be back on a hanging day, on a hanging day"
Author: Mark Knopfler
30. "Watch me when people say deaf and dumb, or deaf mute, and I give them a look like you might get if you called Denzel Washington the wrong name."
Author: Marlee Matlin
31. "What I love in a woman is not what she is in and for herself, but the side of herself she turns towards me, what she is for me. I love her as character in our common love story. what wuld Hamlet be without the castle at Elsinore, without Ophelia, without all the concrete situations he goes through, what would he be without the text of his part? What would be left but an empty, dumb, illusory essence?"
Author: Milan Kundera
32. "Russian?" I asked dumbly. I do that sometimes."
Author: Olen Steinhauer
33. "She hops expectantly into the sink. I turn on the tap for her; she laps without a glance in my direction, like a duchess so used to being ministered to that she no longer notices the servants and sees only a world where objects dumbly bend to her wishes, doors opening, faucets discharging cool water, delicious things appearing in her dish."
Author: Peter Trachtenberg
34. "I have been primarily interested in how and why ordinary people do unusual things, things that seem alien to their natures. Why do good people sometimes act evil? Why do smart people sometimes do dumb or irrational things?"
Author: Philip Zimbardo
35. "You can't be a doctor. Only boys can be doctors. Leroy's got to be the doctor.""You're full of shit, Spiegelglass, Leroy's dumber than I am. I got to be doctor because I'm the smart one and being a girl don't matter.""You'll see. You think you can do what boys do but you're going to be a nurse, no two ways about it. It doesn't matter about brains, brains don't count. What counts is whether you're a boy or a girl."I hauled off and belted her one."
Author: Rita Mae Brown
36. "When we meet somebody whose separate tunnel-reality is obviously far different from ours, we are a bit frightened and always disoriented. We tend to think they are mad, or that they are crooks trying to con us in some way, or that they are hoaxers playing a joke. Yet it is neurologically obvious that no two brains have the same genetically-programmed hard wiring, the same imprints, the same conditioning, the same learning experiences. We are all living in separate realities. That is why communication fails so often, and misunderstandings and resentments are so common. I say "meow" and you say "Bow-wow," and each of us is convinced the other is a bit dumb."
Author: Robert Anton Wilson
37. "This isn't television! This isn't a movie! Giles and Buffy aren't gonna appear and show us how to deal with our wonderful new powers! Some fricking owl isn't gonna come sailing in through your window from Hogwarts! There's no Dumbledore! The Cullens aren't gonna show up and invite you to live with them in Forks! There's nothing! This isn't make believe! This is it! It's us and only us."
Author: Robin Benway
38. "Maybe we could, um, go sit in the truck?" he said, but even as he said it, it sounded so dumb. And not exactly the way he wanted her to remember a marriage proposal."
Author: Robyn Carr
39. "I'm stuck up in these here mountains with the dumbest smart person I ever be meetin'."
Author: Samantha Young
40. "Listen baby, Muver love you. Muver not dumb. Listen baby: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ.Thas the alphabet. Twenty- six letters in all. Them letters make up words. Them words everything."
Author: Sapphire
41. "Human beings suffer,They torture one another,They get hurt and get hard.No poem or play or songCan fully right a wrongInflicted and endured.The innocent in gaolsBeat on their bars together.A hunger-striker's fatherStands in the graveyard dumb.The police widow in veilsFaints at the funeral home.History says, don't hopeOn this side of the grave.But then, once in a lifetimeThe longed-for tidal waveOf justice can rise up,And hope and history rhyme.So hope for a great sea-changeOn the far side of revenge.Believe that further shoreIs reachable from here.Believe in miracleAnd cures and healing wells.Call miracle self-healing:The utter, self-revealingDouble-take of feeling.If there's fire on the mountainOr lightning and stormAnd a god speaks from the skyThat means someone is hearingThe outcry and the birth-cryOf new life at its term."
Author: Seamus Heaney
42. "Did she say anything before she died?" he asked.Yes", the surgeon said. "She said, 'Forgive him'"Forgive him?" my father asked.I think she was referring to the drunk driver who killed her."Wow.My grandmother's last act on earth was a call for forgiveness, love and tolerance.She wanted us to forgive Gerald, the dumb-ass Spokane Indian alcoholic who ran her over and killed her.I think My Dad wanted to go find Gerald and beat him to death.I think my mother would have helped him.I think I would have helped him, too.But my grandmother wanted us to forgive her murderer.Even dead, she was a better person than us."
Author: Sherman Alexie
43. "I do not want a plain box, I want a sarcophagus With tigery stripes, and a face on it Round as the moon, to stare up. I want to be looking at them when they come Picking among the dumb minerals, the roots. I see them already-the pale, star-distance faces. Now they are nothing, they are not even babies. I imagine them without fathers or mothers, like the first gods. They will wonder if I was important."
Author: Sylvia Plath
44. "He hated games they made the world look too simple. Chess, in particular, had always annoyed him. It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the king lounged about doing nothing. If only the pawns would've united ... the whole board could've been a republic in about a dozen moves."
Author: Terry Pratchett
45. "Vimes felt his hand begin to move of its own accord--And stopped. Red rage froze.There was The Beast, all around him. And that's all it was. A beast. Useful, but still a beast. You could hold it on a chain, and make it dance, and juggle balls. It didn't think. It was dumb. What you were, what you were, was not The Beast."
Author: Terry Pratchett
46. "You gotta wonder about someone who would be dumb enough to fallo a person as crazy as him!wait, I think I just insulted myself- ganju"
Author: Tite Kubo
47. "Then, with the barricades complete, the posts assigned, the muskets loaded, the lookouts placed, alone in these fearful streets in which there were now no pedestrians, surrounded by these dumb, and seemingly dead houses, which throbbed with no human motion, wrapped in the deepening shadows of the twilight, which was beginning to fall, in the midst of this obscurity and silence, through which they felt the advance of something inexpressibly tragic and terrifying, isolated, armed, determined, tranquil, they waited."
Author: Victor Hugo
48. "Indeed he seemed to her sometimes made differently from other people, born blind, deaf, and dumb, to the ordinary things, but to the extraordinary things, with an eye like an eagle's."
Author: Virginia Woolf
49. "Hi! handsome hunting manFire your little gun.Bang! Now the animalis dead and dumb and done.Nevermore to peep again, creep again, leap again,Eat or sleep or drink again. Oh, what fun!"
Author: Walter De La Mare
50. "Most of the hotel gym's are not adequate. I mean you might be able to train your arms, but you aren't going to be able to train legs, back, or even chest if they don't have dumbbells and benches."
Author: Warren Cuccurullo

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Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (I Corinthians 13: 7-8a ESV)"
Author: Anonymous

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