Top Ex Girlfriend Quotes

Browse top 35 famous quotes and sayings about Ex Girlfriend by most favorite authors.

Favorite Ex Girlfriend Quotes

1. "My ex would know not to talk to me until I came back from running. I'd always be in a better place."
Author: Arielle Kebbel
2. "Who wants to kill you?" the guy asked. He was still looking over his shoulder, but his expression was puzzled."There's nobody there," the girlfriend told me."You're making them think they can't see you, aren't you?" I said to Patch, awed by his power even as I despised his use of it."
Author: Becca Fitzpatrick
3. "As I was fixing in the bathroom, I thought about how I used to tell my ex Anne that there was "no reality." Light merely entered the eye and was translated into electrical signals which were translated into chemical signals translated into gestalts and translated into electrical signals again and so on. It was all a dream of a dream of a dream signifying a source which could be reality of which we experienced only distant modulated echoes of ripples.This used to really annoy her because she suspected it had something to do with my failure to get a job."
Author: Carl John X. Veraja
4. "Who cares if you have a girlfriend, anyway?""I care" Simon said gloomily. "Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor. And he smells like windex."
Author: Cassandra Clare
5. "That was what true love was supposed to be about. Couples slobbering all over each other, only just able to let each other out of sight long enough to go to the loo. True love was not furtively checking your email, while your other half is in the bathroom to see if you have a message from someone you met out once. True love shouldn't be disappointed when your ex writes with the news that another old girlfriend is back on the scene.'Fuck' she couldn't do this. She couldn't keep pretending. Not a single day longer."
Author: Chris Manby
6. "The original program was based on cycling. I mean, exercycles are like lunges; it's okay if your girlfriend or your mom does them, but... you know."
Author: Dan John
7. "A dream my girlfriend and I have is to move to New York for a year or two because we just love the city. I would take some acting classes."
Author: Daniel Bruhl
8. "I feel comfortable with what I do and I guess that my girlfriend feels the same."
Author: Felix Baumgartner
9. "Bull-fluff. You didn't break up with a girlfriend of a whole year because of stuff."
Author: Gemma Halliday
10. "Enjoy him while it lasts," I called. "Apparently he has Girlfriend ADD."She looked away, but not before I caught the blush staining her cheeks."
Author: Gena Showalter
11. "If you've got Mystique as your girlfriend the fun you could have in bed - I've just imagined X-Men 3 might open with me in bed with Patrick Stewart."
Author: Ian Mckellen
12. "I will. I've never wanted a girlfriend before, Pigeon. I'm not used to feeling this way about someone...about anyone. If you'll be patient with me, I swear I'll get it figured out."
Author: Jamie McGuire
13. "After they broke up, Renaldo's ex girlfriend said to never again date an older woman. And he wisely listened to her, because his mother only had his best interest in mind."
Author: Jarod Kintz
14. "My eyes change color depending on my mood and what I'm wearing. If I'm wearing an acorn brown shirt, my eyes look like squirrel fur. And if I'm wearing no shirt at all, my eyes look more nude and flesh-colored. I guess my ex girlfriend, Zelda, said it best when her friend asked her what I look like and she said: "He looks like you'd imagine him to look like, if you had no imagination."
Author: Jarod Kintz
15. "My ex girlfriend and I go long periods of time without speaking to each other. And in between those extended stretches, we fill the time with silence."
Author: Jarod Kintz
16. "Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while "decorating" my ex girlfriend's front yard."
Author: Jarod Kintz
17. "I snorted powdered flamingoes while I pondered love. I sat at the bar two hours waiting for my ice on the rocks to melt so I could drink it and leave, but it was like my ex wife's heart—it was just too frigid to melt. So I called up a midget, buckled myself in on his back, and had him give me a ride home. Ah, but that's life, no?"
Author: Jarod Kintz
18. "My ex girlfriend was exquisite, and my current one is quisite."
Author: Jarod Kintz
19. "I met my girlfriend at a bar. But I broke up with her because she was already there, hitting on another guy."
Author: Jarod Kintz
20. "Love is the last thing on my mind right now. But of course it's the last thing on my mind, because I was just thinking about it. I always think about love when I'm not thinking about my ex girlfriend."
Author: Jarod Kintz
21. "These are all direct quotes, except every time they use a curse word, I'm going to use the name of a famous American poet:'You Walt Whitman-ing, Edna St. Vincent Millay! Go Emily Dickinson your mom!''Thanks for the advice, you pathetic piece of E.E. Cummings, but I think I'm gonna pass.''You Robert Frost-ing Nikki Giovanni! Get a life, nerd. You're a virgin.''Hey bro, you need to go outside and get some fresh air into you. Or a girlfriend.'I need to get a girlfriend into me? I think that shows a fundamental lack of comprehension about how babies are made."
Author: John Green
22. "You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!"
Author: John Green
23. "They sounded a lot like me and my old girlfriend Loretta, but I swore to myself that I would stop thinking about her ass, even though every Cleopatra-looking Latina in the city made me stop and wish she would come back to me."
Author: Junot Díaz
24. "Ugh. I was going for ‘crazy ex filled with hate" not "isn't she cute when she's mad?"
Author: Kim Harrington
25. "Start dating someone who is funny, someone who has what in high school you called a "really great sense of humor" and what now your creative writing class calls "self-contempt giving rise to comic form." Write down all of his jokes, but don't tell him you are doing this. Make up anagrams of his old girlfriend's name and name all of your socially handicapped characters with them. Tell him his old girlfriend is in all of your stories and then watch how funny he can be, see what a really great sense of humor he can have."
Author: Lorrie Moore
26. "But let me just say that talking dirty is so important in sex. And it's pretty easy. To wit: establish from the very beginning that you like this. And trust me, you want to do it early on. Because if you wait too long to introduce the concept, your Special Lady Friend will be a little thrown and might not take you seriously. Think of it as a hat. If you never, ever wear a hat and one day you try to rock a fedora with a feather, all of your friends will be like, "Dude—why are you wearing a fucking fedora with a fucking feather?" You'll feel insecure and never wear it again. Now imagine that scenario, but in bed with your hardened dick out and it's your girlfriend saying, "Dude—why the fuck are you talking like that?" Not good."
Author: Olivia Munn
27. "When I was nine, I had this girlfriend and we used to have running races in the park. I wanted to be like Superman and fly in and rescue her."
Author: Orlando Bloom
28. "We must find you a new boyfriend, Wavey had kept telling her, but what if a girlfriend was what Fever needed? She felt as if she had opened the door to a room she had never noticed in a house where she'd lived all her life."
Author: Philip Reeve
29. "I turned to face Audrey, and everything I loved was right there in her eyes, the memories tangible: the schooldays and sleepovers, the cheap bottles of wine and sappy chick flicks. She was there for my mother's drunken relapses, there to hold me until I fell asleep the first time the ex from Seattle hit me. It was all there, and my God, each memory was suddenly sacred and the sun rose and set upon it."
Author: Rachael Wade
30. "Fuck Tris. I would give body parts to have a guy write something like that for me. My kidney? Oh, both of them? Here, Nick, they're yours—just write more for me. I'll give you a start: boy in punk club asks strange girl to be his girlfriend for five minutes, girl kisses boy, boy kisses back, boy then meets girl—what did you notice about this girl? Nick, let's hear some lyrics. Please? Ready. Set. Go."
Author: Rachel Cohn
31. "This is new to us, you know? Your mother's sorry. She's sorry that she hurt your feelings, and she wants you to invite your girlfriend over for dinner.""So that she can make her feel bad and weird?""Well she is kind of weird, isn't she?"Park didn't have the energy to be angry. He sighed and let his head fall back on the chair. His dad kept talking. "Isn't that why you like her?"
Author: Rainbow Rowell
32. "Come here my fattin' up girlfriend and give me some kissin'."
Author: Sherry Gammon
33. "You know being and ex serviceman and a Disabled Gulf War Veteran. You could play Taps on a Jews Harp and I'd still cry"
Author: Stanley Victor Paskavich
34. "She didn't want me; she wanted all of me. I didn't mind saying it. My girlfriend scared the crap out of me."
Author: T.J. Forrester
35. "When you have a Thai girlfriend you never lose her - you just sometimes lose your place in the queue"
Author: Warren Olson

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At last I feel identified with the mountains, clean, cold, hard, detached."
Author: Anna Kavan

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