Top Facial Hair Quotes

Browse top 21 famous quotes and sayings about Facial Hair by most favorite authors.

Favorite Facial Hair Quotes

1. "I'm an ugly girl,My face makes you hurl,Sad I have it, I should bag it.Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair.I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation."
Author: Al Yankovic
2. "I got a tooth bust by somebody who decided they didn't like me and I thought the moustache hid a scar on my lip. It's true that people were told facial hair was not appreciated by the British public, but I just decided to keep the moustache."
Author: Bob Ainsworth
3. "I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though."
Author: Bob Uecker
4. "This is what nibbling your ear sounds like." Blake created a soundtrack for his teeth."This is what looking into your eyes sounds like." The notes were deep and beckoning."This is what my mind hears when my tongue is in your mouth." The kiss sounded steamy and delicate. The rhythm was her heartbeat as he sampled her mouth."But when you smile. When you smile it's…" Blake scooted the keyboard around behind her. He needed both hands.She put her hands on his face and smiled in amazement as the music exploded. She couldn't imagine how her simple facial gesture could inspire such a majestic sound.He smiled back. "One thousand nine hundred and ten.""So many? Really?""Yes, really. And it's not nearly enough. I want to lose count, Livia. Make me lose count." His hands left the beautiful music and grabbed handfuls of her hair."
Author: Debra Anastasia
5. "I've been waiting to have facial hair on camera for the longest time - I'm always playing teenagers, and I always have to shave. I'll let you in on a little secret: I have sensitive skin, and I'm a sensitive guy, so shaving is something that I don't look forward to."
Author: Dustin Milligan
6. "I drew laughing, high-breasted girls aquaplaning without a care in the world, as a result of being amply protected against such national evils as bleeding gums, facial blemishes, unsightly hairs, and faulty or inadequate life insurance. I drew housewives who, until they reached for the right soap flakes, laid themselves wide open to straggly hair, poor posture, unruly children, disaffected husbands, rough (but slender) hands, untidy (but enormous) kitchens."
Author: J.D. Salinger
7. "-BDB on the board-VAMPIRES WITH ONE EYEBROW ARE SEXYMay 8, 2006Vishous (Back in the Pit, posting in Rhage's room on the board)Hi! My name is Rhage.....:)I'm starting a new trend in facial hair. Having one eyebrow is COOL.Having one eyebrow is SEXY.Having one eyebrow is very INTELLECTUAL.Come. Join me. Rhage: (In his bedroom) 1. He immobilized me, the motherfucker. Or I woud have gone to work on the goatee. AND IF HE WERE SO TOUGH HE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO PUT A WHAMMY ON MY ASS TO GET AT ME.2. My hair grows back VERY fast. I should be BACK TO NORMAL in a couple of days. 3. Even if it takes me the rest of this month...he has SO got it coming for him. Vishous: Rhage! What happened to your eyebrow?Why...it's gone.Did you slip while you were shaving?Hey....lemme ask you something...Does your head feel off-kilter? You know, heavier on one side?"
Author: J.R. Ward
8. "Men were created to have facial hair like women were created to be smooth-faced. Well, not all women. I've seen pockets where that's not the case, and that's not good."
Author: Jase Robertson
9. "I always had the facial hair so I looked older than I was."
Author: Jimmy Smith
10. "Death is a personal matter, arousing sorrow, despair, fervor, or dry-hearted philosophy. Funerals, on the other hand, are social functions. Imagine going to a funeral without first polishing the automobile. Imagine standing at a graveside not dressed in your best dark suit and your best black shoes, polished delightfully. Imagine sending flowers to a funeral with no attached card to prove you had done the correct thing. In no social institution is the codified ritual of behavior more rigid than in funerals. Imagine the indignation if the minister altered his sermon or experimented with facial expression. Consider the shock if, at the funeral parlors, any chairs were used but those little folding yellow torture chairs with the hard seats. No, dying, a man may be loved, hated, mourned, missed; but once dead he becomes the chief ornament of a complicated and formal social celebration."
Author: John Steinbeck
11. "Jay sat down across from Chelsea and took both of her hands in his. The oversized lunchroom was buzzing with activity, and he practically had to yell to be heard."Chelsea, for the love of everything good and holy, please ... please stop ruining my friend."Violet bit her lip to stop from laughing at the two of them. She knew what he was talking about before he even explained. It was the new facial hair.Chelsea jerked her hands out of his. "Oh, relax, drama queen. He's not broken. Besides, I'm gonna fix him this weekend."Jay seemed relieved."
Author: Kimberly Derting
12. "Don't tell thin women to eat a cheeseburger. Don't tell fat women to put down the fork. Don't tell underweight men to bulk up. Don't tell women with facial hair to wax, don't tell uncircumcised men they're gross, don't tell muscular women to go easy on the dead-lift, don't tell dark-skinned women to bleach their vagina, don't tell black women to relax their hair, don't tell flat-chested women to get breast implants, don't tell "apple-shaped" women what's "flattering," don't tell mothers to hide their stretch marks, and don't tell people whose toes you don't approve of not to wear flip-flops. And so on, etc, etc, in every iteration until the mountains crumble to the sea. Basically, just go ahead and CEASE telling other human beings what they "should" and "shouldn't" do with their bodies unless a) you are their doctor, or b) SOMEBODY GODDAMN ASKED YOU."
Author: Lindy West
13. "Sorry, Bex," Jason said "You don't have the recognizable facial characteristics - such as a huge chin, or a large amount of real estate between the eyes - that would merit the bestowing of a criminal mastermind nickname such as Lockjaw or Walleye. Whereas Crazytop here...well, just look at her." "Atleast I can blow-dry my hair straight," I pointed out. "Which is more than what I can say for your nose, Hawkface."
Author: Meg Cabot
14. "I love these dudes, but I don't know what they're doing with all that facial hair these days. There's a lot of peach fuzz going on. They called me up to go to a Kanye West concert, and I was like 'hold on I'll call Kanye.' So I called him and they got into the show, and I called Kanye later and said, 'Yo did you see my dudes from Panic! at the show?' and he was like 'Nah they mst not have been dressed like they were from the 1700's'. But I back them. They have their own unique style, which is cool."
Author: Pete Wentz
15. "The Toothbrush mustache is the most powerful configuration of facial hair the world has ever known. It overpowers whoever touches it. By merely doodling a Toothbrush mustache on a poster, you make a political statement."
Author: Rich Cohen
16. "Most mustaches lie waiting for some Clark Gable or Tom Selleck to fix them in the mind. The greatest are identified with a single man, a bad man, usually, who so wrapped his identity with a particular configuration of facial hair that the two became inseparable."
Author: Rich Cohen
17. "I'll do anything. I'll shave my head for the right job. I'm partial to my facial hair, I guess, but I also enjoy doing something where I look totally different, which is kind of the reason why I've always worn long hair. I can really change my look radically by getting rid of it."
Author: Sam Elliott
18. "To all you sensitive sallys out there who spend your time scribing angry letters, I have great news: Scientific models show that in the not-too-distant future, all the races will become so completely interbred that humanity will have a monolithic caramelish color and common facial features. There won't be blonds or hairy Jews anymore.Words like "Chink" will cease to have meaning. They will be relics, along with those who use them for comedy. Which is exactly why I am past that meta-racist shit and onto poop and pee. Onward and downward!"
Author: Sarah Silverman
19. "Mr. Gweta looked ten years younger than Professor Khupe had expected. His jet-black hair was trimmed so neatly that it would make a manicured golf course look scruffy. His face was exceptionally smooth, giving the impression that he had been born without skin pores and transitioned through puberty devoid of any facial hair to pockmark his countenance. Mr. Gweta's face was perfectly symmetrical. An ant walking from one side to the other would experience a serious case of déjà vu."
Author: Taona Dumisani Chiveneko
20. "Leah wouldn't tolerate facial hair. She said it chaffed her face. When she used the word "chaffed" I wanted to divorce her. Or maybe I just always wanted to divorce her."
Author: Tarryn Fisher
21. "The original purpose of the beards was to help with the wind when it's blowing in your face. When you're out there in the woods hunting like we are all the time, we found that facial hair helps you to stay a lot warmer."
Author: Willie Robertson

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The only way I know how to deliver is to focus; some people can turn it on or off - I'd rather stay in character."
Author: Adewale Akinnuoye Agbaje

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