Top Funny Autographs Quotes

Browse top 29 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Autographs by most favorite authors.

Favorite Funny Autographs Quotes

1. "... Good gracious, Jerry, you'll probably have to marry the girl.'Joanna was half serious, half laughing.It was at that moment that I made a very important discovery.'Damn it all,' I said. 'I don't mind if I do. In fact - I should like it.'A very funny expression came over Joanna's face. She got up and said dryly, as she went toward the door, 'Yes, I've known that for some time...'She left me standing, glass in hand, aghast at my new discovery."
Author: Agatha Christie
2. "Pretty people don't keep comedies on the air. Funny people keep comedies on the air."
Author: Allison Jones
3. "As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing."
Author: Andy Milonakis
4. "My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him."
Author: Bam Margera
5. "Humor, for me, is really a gate of departure. It's a way of enticing a reader into a poem so that less funny things can take place later. It really is not an end in itself, but a means to an end."
Author: Billy Collins
6. "Scott Foley was always fun because he's a very funny guy. So I liked working with him a bunch."
Author: Ian Gomez
7. "Good, because if the guy isn't making you walk funny after sex, then probably isn't anything to write home to mom about."
Author: J. Lynn
8. "Mourir, ce n'est rien. Commence donc par vivre. C'est moins drôle et c'est plus long."("To die is nothing. Begin by living. It's less funny and lasts longer.")[Roméo et Jeannette]"
Author: Jean Anouilh
9. "When he talked his eyes went away from mine and then he forced himself to look straight at me and he began to explain and I knew that he felt very strange with me and that he hated me, and it was funny sitting there and talking like that, knowing he hated me."
Author: Jean Rhys
10. "I love those dark moments in Peanuts. I love that they're in there, that Charles Schulz put the sad lonely bits of himself into the comic. I love the silliness too, the dancing Snoopy strips. The little boy Rerun drawing "basement" comics about Tarzan fighting Daffy Duck in a helicopter. Those are the bits that keep me reading. The funny parts! The fun parts. The silly bits that don't make any sense. And when I get to the sad lonely Peppermint Patty standing in a field wondering why nobody shook hands and said "good game," well, it works because that's not all she was. I try to think that way about everything. That's the kind of person I want to be."
Author: Joey Comeau
11. "When they were all up playing in the nursery George caught something again and had monia on account of getting cold on his chest and Yourfather was very solemn and said not to grieve if God called little brother away. But God brought little George back to them only he was delicate after that and had to wear glasses, and when Dearmother let Eveline help bathe him because Miss Mathilda was having the measles too Eveline noticed he had something funny there where she didn't have anything. She asked Dearmother if it was a mump, but Dearmother scolded her and said she was a vulgar little girl to have looked. "Hush, child, don't ask questions. Evaline got red all over and cried and Adelaide and Margaret wouldn't speak to her for days on account of her being a vulgar little girl."
Author: John Dos Passos
12. "Bigots are actually funny to me in the way that people who still wear parachute pants give me a chuckle."
Author: John Ridley
13. "I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny."
Author: Julie Brown
14. "This wonderful, sexy, funny guy was completely psychotic. And I was still holding his hand.Even more surprisingly, I still didn't want to let go."
Author: Katherine Pine
15. "It's funny that all these goths paint their faces with such white make-up and that is the actual colour of my skin, I am that pale!"
Author: Kelly Osbourne
16. "Heyday, now that is a funny word ain't it? Part of a heyday is, you don't never know you are having yourself one till later when it's all over with, long gone."
Author: Lee Smith
17. "Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things.""But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals."
Author: Lemony Snicket
18. "I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day."
Author: Magic Johnson
19. "Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs!"
Author: Mehmet Murat Ildan
20. "Given the current state of publishing, I think it helps to have a brand name on the cover of your book. Comedians are proven commodities with built-in audiences. They may not have the writing chops of a Dave Eggers, but they're salacious and funny and self-reflective."
Author: Michael Showalter
21. "Elvis walked over and signed a few autographs over the fence. They were screaming. I had never seen this."
Author: Minnie Pearl
22. "Whats my title? Am I admiral or captain or-" "Repair Boy!" "Very funny Piper."
Author: Rick Riordan
23. "Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they're completely dependent on you and there's a third generation. It's a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents."
Author: Roger Federer
24. "A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada."
Author: Samantha Bee
25. "Something is funny, most of all, because it's true, and because the velocity of insight into this truth exceeds our normal standards. Something is funny because it's outside our accepted boundary of decorum. Something is funny because it defies our expectations. Something is funny because it offers a temporary reprieve from the hardship of seeing the world as it actually is. Something is funny because it is able to suggest gently that even the worst of our circumstances and sins is subject to eventual mercy."
Author: Steve Almond
26. "People never like to talk about their slower relatives. I got a cousin, twice removed, got webs between his toes, ain't said one word his whole life. You never hear about him in the family newsletter that goes around every Christmas. Hell, nobody mentions me, either, if it comes to that. Families is funny about who they advertise."
Author: Susan Juby
27. "We all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously."
Author: Terry Pratchett
28. "Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh."
Author: Tom Lehrer
29. "It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing."
Author: Zora Neale Hurston

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An uncertain evil causes anxiety because, at the bottom of one's heart, one goes on hoping till the last moment that it may not be true; a certain evil, on the other hand, instills, for a time, a kind of dreary tranquillity."
Author: Alberto Moravia

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