Top Funny Being Jaded Quotes

Browse top 26 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Being Jaded by most favorite authors.

Favorite Funny Being Jaded Quotes

1. "I have no objection to a man being a man, however masculine that may be."
Author: Agnes Smedley
2. "That chair -shall I ever forget it? Where the shadows fell on the canvas upholstery, stripes of a deep but glowing indigo alternated with stripes of an incandescence so intensely bright that it was hard to believe that they could be made of anything but blue fire. For what seemed an immensely long time I gazed without knowing, even without wishing to know, what it was that confronted me. At any other time I would have seen a chair barred with alternate light and shade. Today the percept had swallowed up the concept. I was so completely absorbed in looking, so thunderstruck by what I actually saw, that I could not be aware of anything else. Garden furniture, laths, sunlight, shadow - these were no more than names and notions, mere verbalizations, for utilitarian or scientific purposes, after the event. The event was this succession of azure furnace doors separated by gulfs of unfathomable gentian. It was inexpressibly wonderful, wonderful to the point, almost, of being terrifying."
Author: Aldous Huxley
3. "To think of our prayers as just ‘causes' would suggest that the whole importance of petitionary prayer lay in the achievement of the thing asked for. But really, for our spiritual life as a whole, the ‘being taken into account,' or ‘considered,' matters more than the being granted. Religious people don't talk about the ‘results' of prayer; they talk of its being ‘answered' or ‘heard'.... We can bear to be refused but not to be ignored. In other words, our faith can survive many refusals if they really are refusals and not mere disregards. The apparent stone will be bread to us if we believe that a Father's hand put it into ours, in mercy or in justice or even in rebuke."
Author: C.S. Lewis
4. "While I believe that when you are in the glamour industry, you have to look your best, I also believe being skinny is not 'hot and happening.'"
Author: Deepika Padukone
5. "I'm losing myself trying to competeWith everyone else instead of just being meDon't know where to turnI've been stuck in this routineI need to change my waysInstead of always being weakI don't wanna be afraidI wanna wake up feeling beautiful todayAnd know that I'm okay'Cause everyone's perfect in unusual waysYou see, I just wanna believe in me"
Author: Demi Lovato
6. "Conservatives cherished it for being small and inconvenient, and thus keeping out the "new people" whom New York was beginning to dread and yet be drawn to"
Author: Edith Wharton
7. "There was a terminal narrative. It was a story until it stopped being a story and until then they kept wanting to know. Give up... Surrender your need for the detail; there is only one way this is going to end."
Author: Emily Perkins
8. "His libido,distressingly,didn't seem at all worried about little things like Arthur being an arrogant dick.(Or, to be perfectly,horrifyingly honest,which he had no intention of being, ever, his libido might just possibly rather like Arthur being an arrogant dick. And Merlin might just possibly have had some rather vivid fantasies about Arthur demanding, in that lazily imperious tone, that Merlin get down on his knees and swallow the royal cock. Just possibly.)"
Author: FayJay
9. "My hand is stroking the back of Nan's head, my mind racing with every possible scenario. Daniel announced he's gay. Daniel has Erectile Dysfunction. Daniel confessed to being a vampire and not being able to have sex with her because he might kill her."
Author: Huntley Fitzpatrick
10. "R-4 got stuck on the First Law. "Can anyone really protect a human being from all harm whatever?" it thought. "No. It is inevitable that all humans must be injured, contract illnesses and ultimately die. The future can only be averted for humans who are already dead. Ergo..." It took a dozen cops to subdue R-4, after his blood orgy in a department store (83 dead, none injured)."
Author: John Sladek
11. "How can you respect the world when you see it's being run by a bunch of kids turned old?"
Author: John Updike
12. "It is best if the guard is in love with America and wants to overawe the American by being a premium guard. This kind of guard thinks that he will encounter the American again one day in America, and that the American will offer to take him to a Chicago Bulls game, and buy him blue jeans and whitebread and delicate toilet paper. This guard dreams of speaking Englishwithout an accent and obtaining a wife with an unmalleable bosom. This guard will confess that he does not love where he lives.The other kind of guard is also in love with America, but he will hate the American for being an American. This is worst. This guard knows he will never go to America, and knows that he will never meet the American again. He will steal from the American, and terror the American, only to teach that he can."
Author: Jonathan Safran Foer
13. "You are being suffocated by tradition... Why don't you say, 'I am going to build a life for myself, for my time, and make it a work of art'? Your life isn't a work of art ---it's a thirdhand Victorian whatnot shelf, complete with someone else's collection of seashells and hand-carved elephants."
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
14. "Seeking wholeness is a contradiction in terms; wholeness is an implicit possession of our being. As guardians of our wellbeing, we must rise above human constructs of being that are incompatible with our intended design. Acceptance of this redeemed thinking—as a regulating factor in life—is liberating, and what remains is the highest form of integrity."
Author: LaShaun Middlebrooks Collier
15. "Enjoy life by embracing the sadness as well as the happiness. It's all a part of being on this earth."~ Mrs. Pinkerton"
Author: Michelle Stevens
16. "For relaxation, I like to figure skate. Being on the ice and spinning and jumping, I feel very close to nature. In particular, I feel very close to Newton's laws of motion. On the ice, you can experience Newton's laws of motion in their purest, most elegant form."
Author: Michio Kaku
17. "If you live in a past dream, you don't enjoy what is happening right now because you will always wish it to be different than it is. There is no time to miss anyone or anything because you are alive. Not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive. This leads to self pity, suffering and tears."
Author: Miguel Ruiz
18. "Exquisitely painful, isn't it? Not being sure who you love and loves you? -Aphrodite"
Author: Rick Riordan
19. "As a reader you recognise that feeling when you're lost in a book? You know the one - when whatever's going on around you seems less real than what you're reading and all you want to do is keep going deeper into the story whether it's about being halfway up a mountain in Brazil in 1823 of in love with a man you aren't sure you can trust or fighting a war in the last human outpost, somewhere beyond the moon. Well, if you're writing that book it's real for you too."
Author: Sara Sheridan
20. "I want to be an NBA all-star and help my team win. That's what it's all about, is winning. I'm a competitor... People said a lot about me being selfish and stuff like that. Getting into the league, I can't wait to shut that down. I'm a guy who wants to play and to win and love my teammates."
Author: Shabazz Muhammad
21. "She nods. You're good for the ones you love. You want to be good for the ones you love, because you know that your time with them will end up being too short, no matter how long it is."
Author: Stephen King
22. "Being dull and boring is far more tragic than being tacky."
Author: Thom Filicia
23. "What someone's lies reveal about them (aspirations to being an accomplished writer, fantasies of an exotic history and a cosmopolitan family) are always sadder than the fact of the lies themselves. These inventions illuminate the negative spaces of someone's self-image, their vanity and insecurities and most childish wishes, as we can infer from warped starlight the presence of a far vaster mass of dark matter."
Author: Tim Kreider
24. "Don't let pain & heartaches and looking for better solutions in life...STOP you from being happy! Enjoy loving life and every beautiful sunset it has to offer!"
Author: Timothy Pina
25. "It's too bad that one has to conceive of sports as being the only arena where risks are, for all of life is risk exercise. That's the only way to live more freely, and more interestingly."
Author: William Sloane Coffin
26. "Nothing becomes funny by being labelled so."
Author: William Strunk Jr.

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Today's Quote

Good men, whether they be Christians or rationalists, do not desire to discriminate between races, but the distinctions implanted by Nature are too conspicuous to escape the observation of our senses."
Author: Arthur Keith

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