Top Funny Coupons Quotes

Browse top 29 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Coupons by most favorite authors.

Favorite Funny Coupons Quotes

1. "In a funny way, nothing makes you feel more like a native of your own country than to live where nearly everyone is not."
Author: Bill Bryson
2. "We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page."
Author: Calvin Trillin
3. "If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable."
Author: Carrie Fisher
4. "Love? I need a lot of love."Of course you do. Everyone does. It's funny that we never say it. It's OK to scream, 'I'm starving' in public if you are hungry; it's OK to make a fuss and say, 'I'm so sleepy', if you are tired; but somehow we cannot say, 'I need some more love.' Why can't we say it? It's just as basic a need." - ONE NIGHT @ THE CALL CENTER Chapter 36 pages 293-4"
Author: Chetan Bhagat
5. "It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny."
Author: David Cross
6. "Who decides which defects are funny and which ones are tragic? Nobody laughs at blind people or makes iron lung jokes."
Author: David Mitchell
7. "If you describe yourself as "Atheist," some people will say, "Don't you mean 'Agnostic'?" I have to reply that I really do mean Atheist. I really do not believe that there is a god - in fact I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one. It's easier to say that I am a radical Atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it's an opinion I hold seriously. It's funny how many people are genuinely surprised to hear a view expressed so strongly. In England we seem to have drifted from vague wishy-washy Anglicanism to vague wishy-washy Agnosticism - both of which I think betoken a desire not to have to think about things too much."
Author: Douglas Adams
8. "I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man."
Author: Frank Carson
9. "IN my early days there were stories about funny refugees murdering the English language. A refugee woman goes to the greengrocer to buy red oranges (I mean red inside), very popular on the Continent and called blood oranges.‘I want two pounds of bloody oranges.'‘What sort of oranges, dear?' asked the greengrocer, a little puzzled.‘Bloody oranges.'‘Hm...' He thinks. ‘I see. For juice?'‘Yes, we are.'Another story dates from two years later. By that time the paterfamilias — the orange-buying lady's husband — has become terribly, terribly English. He meets an old friend in Regents Park, and instead of talking to him in good German, softly, he greets him in English, loudly.‘Hallo, Weinstock.... Lovely day, isn't it? Spring in the air.'‘Why should I?"
Author: George Mikes
10. "You can't be funny for funny's sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but it always has to be believable and based in real character motivations and what people would really do."
Author: Hank Azaria
11. "What a host of little incidents, all deep-buried in the past -- problems that had once been urgent, arguments that had once been keen, anecdotes that were funny only because one remembered the fun. Did any emotion really matter when the last trace of it had vanished from human memory; and if that were so, what a crowd of emotions clung to him as to their last home before annihilation? He must be kind to them, must treasure them in his mind before their long sleep."
Author: James Hilton
12. "Porsche is a driver's car - a performance car. That was funny - here's this awesome car, but it's got no cup holders."
Author: Jason McCoy
13. "I was always worried with comedy - what if I came to work and I wasn't in a funny mood? That hasn't been an issue."
Author: Jeremy Sisto
14. "Time is a Jewel made of unexplained matter and the funny thing is that you can't destroy it until you do so."
Author: Jerril Thomas Abraham
15. "When they were all up playing in the nursery George caught something again and had monia on account of getting cold on his chest and Yourfather was very solemn and said not to grieve if God called little brother away. But God brought little George back to them only he was delicate after that and had to wear glasses, and when Dearmother let Eveline help bathe him because Miss Mathilda was having the measles too Eveline noticed he had something funny there where she didn't have anything. She asked Dearmother if it was a mump, but Dearmother scolded her and said she was a vulgar little girl to have looked. "Hush, child, don't ask questions. Evaline got red all over and cried and Adelaide and Margaret wouldn't speak to her for days on account of her being a vulgar little girl."
Author: John Dos Passos
16. "And here's a story you can hardly believe, but it's true, and it's funny and it's beautiful. There was a family of twelve and they were forced off the land. They had no car. They built a trailer out of junk and loaded it with their possessions. They pulled it to the side of 66 and waited. And pretty soon a sedan picked them up. Five of them rode in the sedan and seven on the trailer, and a dog on the trailer. They got to California in two jumps. The man who pulled them fed them. And that's true. But how can such courage be, and such faith in their own species? Very few things would teach such faith.The people in flight from the terror behind - strange things happen to them, some bitterly cruel and some so beautiful that the faith is refired forever."
Author: John Steinbeck
17. "We stare at each other pop-eyed over the burlap sack and laugh as if we're afraid to stop. Somebody needs to say the magical, abracadabrical words that will turn tonight's crime into a joke. Marta has buttoned her wet sweater up to her neck. Petey's vanished. Now Raffy swirls the flashlights with true panic. Our joke keeps hatching and waddling forward in a snaky black procession, growing longer and less funny by the second, and this time nobody, not even Raffy, knows the punch line."
Author: Karen Russell
18. "I went to go see 'Final Destination' which you have to be 17 and over to see and they're like 'Uh, we need to see your I.D.' Here's the really funny thing is that I actually had done my hair and makeup that day. If I don't do my hair and makeup I can understand it but I had actually made an effort to look older."
Author: Kay Panabaker
19. "I want to show you that you can be funny and hot. You can drink and read. People are still getting used to what I am."
Author: Ke$ha
20. "I'd so much rather people think I was funny than pretty."
Author: Kristen Johnston
21. "I am eternally grateful for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, reason enough to feel honored to be alive, no matter what else might be going on."
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
22. "When I had my daughter, Louisanna, two and a half years ago, I started recording every funny or sweet thing she said or did on my phone."
Author: Leelee Sobieski
23. "People see my impressions as a great skill and I am flattered, but there are things I can't do that everyone else can. I can do funny voices and funny faces but I can't drive."
Author: Matt Lucas
24. "She walked over while he poured her a mug and even added the right amount of sugar. It did funny things to her heart that he hadn't forgotten how she drank her coffee. Such a small and ordinary piece of knowledge, but still a piece of her."
Author: Natalie Herzer
25. "It's so funny being a Christian musician. It always scares me when people think so highly of Christian music, Contemporary Christian music especially. Because I kinda go, I know a lot of us, and we don't know jack about anything. Not that I don't want you to buy our records and come to our concerts. I sure do. But you should come for entertainment. If you really want spiritual nourishment, you should go to church...you should read the Scriptures."
Author: Rich Mullins
26. "I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information."
Author: Samantha Bee
27. "I specifically remember doing the musical 'Sweet Charity' at Stagedoor. I was playing Vittorio Vidal, which is a very funny part, and some other small roles. I couldn't really sing that well, but there were so many fun bits, and I just remember the tremendous adrenaline rush I felt from being onstage and hearing the audience enjoying it."
Author: Sebastian Stan
28. "The wildly drunk man from the cabin next door to ours is in front of me in the crowd. He's so drunk that he's standing in the women-and-children section. He complains loudly that this is boring and that we are a bunch of assholes. When a clearly terrified woman blurts out, "Please, sir, be quiet," he sways for a second and then lets out a long "Shuuuuut uuuuuuuup" that is funny not just because of its Jackie Gleason-style delivery but also because of its inappropriateness in a situation where we're all probably going to die."
Author: Tina Fey
29. "If I ever do anything, it actually might be some fantasy elf thing or even some cute, funny thing. Just to do something a little bit out of the ordinary. I've done my superhero gig."
Author: Todd McFarlane

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I was this weird little bookish giant."
Author: Aisha Tyler

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