Top Funny Irs Quotes

Browse top 49 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Irs by most favorite authors.

Favorite Funny Irs Quotes

1. "She always called him Luca, in the Italian manner, and said it with that funny trans-European intonation, the accent oddly placed on the first syllable: 'Where's Loo-ka?', just like Audrey Hepburn saying, 'Take the pic-ture,' in Funny Face."
Author: Adam Gopnik
2. "That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics!"
Author: Alan Vega
3. "When it was real it wasn't funny. When you touched someone, they were always with you. When his mouth was on mine, we held the same breath in the same moment, and when he was naked, his body was covered in tiny black hairs that stuck to my clothes even after I washed them. He had sowly become a part of me and when he was cruel, or cold, or acted like we couldn't go on like this anymore it felt like he was ripping my limbs off, one at a time."
Author: Alison Espach
4. "There's no two ways about it, Tolkien fans are a funny bunch. I should know, for I was one of them. Been there, done that, read the book, gone mad. I first took on The Lord of the Rings at the age of eleven or twelve; to be precise, I began it at the age of eleven and finished at the age of twelve. It was, and remains, not a book that you happen to read, like any other, but a book that happens to you: a chunk bitten out of your life. (http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2001...)"
Author: Anthony Lane
5. "I actually went to see 'Rushmore,' and I came late, and I missed myself. It was great, that scene. I caught that scene the other day on TV, funny enough, the first scene that you see with Jason Schwartzman and myself, where we talk about his grades. That's a brilliant scene, and I have to say, we play it brilliantly."
Author: Brian Cox
6. "I love you, O'Reilly. When are you going to get that through your thick Aussie skull?"He laughed softly, and she tilted back her head to look up at him wonderingly, "What's so funny?"He put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed the tight muscles of her neck. "Do you realize you've never used my first name?" he said. "It's Patrick, you know."He watched her lips curl into a smile that made his chest ache. "You've always been O'Reilly to me.""Huh," he grunted. "Except when you're mad. Then I become Mister O'Reilly."
Author: Candice Proctor
7. "He says you don't often find angels in places like happy homes and rich people's backyard parties. He says that angels flock to places like hospitals and homelss shelters and jails, because those people realize they need help. And do they are able to believe in strange phenomena. Funny how the world is backward. The really comfortable people don't always see much supernaturally, and to the ones who have to struggle, it's, like, breathing in their faces. The first are last... and the last are first."
Author: Carol Plum Ucci
8. "It's funny: when I first started getting vocal about how much I liked 'Doctor Who,' I didn't realize how deep the fan base was."
Author: Chris Hardwick
9. "And it's funny how when somebody saves you, the first thing you want to do is save other people."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
10. "Funny how the last thing we want the world to see is almost the first thing to show."
Author: Courtney Summers
11. "What's funny is my mom took me to the theater for the first time when I was six years old, and I was just amazed by it. I just said, 'Hey Mom, can I do this too?' And so she signed me up for little theater classes, and I remember my first audition for a play when I was seven years old was for 'The Thankful Elf.'"
Author: Dana Davis
12. "Yes, we could talk to you for days on end about all the bad first dates. Those are stories. Funny stories. Awkward stories. Stories we love to share, because by sharing them, we get something out of the hour or two we wasted on the wrong person. But that's all bad first dates are: short stories. Good first dates are more than short stories. They are first chapters. On a good first date, everything is springtime.And when a good first date becomes a relationship, the springtime lingers. Even after it's over, there can be springtime."
Author: David Levithan
13. "What the hell is so funny?""First of all," she said, her confidence growing, "they're not my MASTERS. I don't have a MASTER. Second, they don't need a battalion to take you down. And third -- and this is really the most important point -- whoever said I came alone?"
Author: Derek Landy
14. "A Nasrudin 'joke' may at first seem unfunny, or pointless, but will after study change and begin to reveal itself: you have uncovered the first level of meaning, and will soon observe your thought patterns shift as you watch them; you will have made the first crack in the wall of assumptions, the conditioned thinking (designated 'The Old Villain') which imprisons each and every one of us, the worst of which is to think that the visible world is all there is, that a man's or a mouse's view of life is the true one."
Author: Doris Lessing
15. "It's funny, when bands or younger musicians ask me: 'So, what does it take to make it?' Well, first explain to me what you mean by 'making it': Do you want to be a rock star or do you want music to be your livelihood?"
Author: Eddie Van Halen
16. "Interesting how fashion is cyclical," Jaccob said when she came out of the store with two black plastic bags. "Goth was the look when I was young, too." "It's not a look," Chuck said. "I'm just wearing my feelings on the outside." "Uh huh." His phone buzzed. "Hang on a second." He rolled up his sleeve to check his HUD, but the call hadn't come through there. Huh. He had to pick up his phone and check the read-out, which listed a phone number: an old school page. "That's funny…" "Dad, you're doing that thing again," Chuck said. "What thing?" Jaccob asked. "That thing where you have to check every single doohickey you carry around." "I am not." Jaccob took his hand out of his coat pocket, where he'd been reaching to check his police scanner or music player (he hadn't decided which to use first)."
Author: Erik Scott De Bie
17. "Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders."
Author: Garry Shandling
18. "Ohh, how clever," Aden said and clapped. "A death threat. You know what's funny? That's not even my first of the day."
Author: Gena Showalter
19. "Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date.1. You're wearing that?2. Something smells funny.3. Where's the Tylenol?4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.5. I have a confession to make…6. My dad has a suit just like that.7. That man is hot. Look at him.8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…9. You're going to order that? Seriously?10. You're how old?"
Author: Gena Showalter
20. "Be ruthless about protecting writing days, i.e., do not cave in to endless requests to have "essential" and "long overdue" meetings on those days. The funny thing is that, although writing has been my actual job for several years now, I still seem to have to fight for time in which to do it. Some people do not seem to grasp that I still have to sit down in peace and write the books, apparently believing that they pop up like mushrooms without my connivance. I must therefore guard the time allotted to writing as a Hungarian Horntail guards its firstborn egg."
Author: J.K. Rowling
21. "But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set."
Author: Jaime King
22. "MyrtleHow funny your name would beif you could follow it back to wherethe first person thought of saying it,naming himself that, or maybesome other persons thought of itand named that person. It wouldbe like following a river to its source,which would be impossible. Rivers have no source.They just automatically appear at a placewhere they get wider, and soon a realriver comes along, with fish and debris,regal as you please, and someonehas already given it a name: St. Benno(saints are popular for this purpose) or, orsome other name, the name of hislong-lost girlfriend, who comesat long last to impersonate that river,on a stage, her voice clankinglike its bed, her clothing of sandand pasted paper, a piece of real technology,while all along she is thinking, I cando what I want to do. But I want to stay here."
Author: John Ashbery
23. "Insta-love isn't something that happens in real life. Ithappens in the books I read, but not in the world I live. Though herestands this beautiful, sexy, funny, sweet and amazing guy who hasdone everything short of professing love at first sight to me and I'mstill standing here like a pair of lungs suffocating, needing him inorder to breathe."
Author: Kathryn Perez
24. "Maybe people don't see me as believable playing a person of today. I guess I'm just more realistic in a corset and funny hairstyles."
Author: Katie McGrath
25. "Such disappointments, betrayals and reconciliations were the stuff of married life, but she and Jack had gone through them before the wedding. Now, at least, she felt confident that she knew him. Nothing was likely to surprise her. It was a funny way to do things, but it might be better than making your vows first and getting to know your spouse afterward."
Author: Ken Follett
26. "But Fazire didn't do exactly what she said.He did make her perfect.He made her bright and funny and very, verytalented.He made her sweet and thoughtful and very,very caring.He made her generous and kind and very, verylovingHe decided not to make her beautiful, at leastnot at first, because she should know humilityand not grow up with conceit.Though, she would become a beauty, a splendidbeauty beyond compare.Just… later."
Author: Kristen Ashley
27. "...Your body is nothing but an envelope, Karou. Your soul is another matter, and is not, as far as I know, in any immediate danger." "An envelope?" She didn't like to think of her body as an envelope--something others might be able to open up and rifle through, remove things from like so many clipped coupons. "I assumed you felt the same way," he'd said. "The way you scribble on it." Brimstone didn't approve of her tattoos, which was funny, since he was responsible for her first, the eyes on her palms."
Author: Laini Taylor
28. "He thought it was funny that she could hack a bloodthirsty demon to death, but something as natural as having a baby made her quake. Not that Kynan blamed her. He'd happily choose taking a bullet to the gut over squeezing a bowling ball out of his ass. Women were amazing."
Author: Larissa Ione
29. "Funny how the nature of a normal day is the first memory to fade."
Author: Lionel Shriver
30. "No more Dane," he eventually said with unnerving finality. I tried to be funny. "I can't decide if that means you don't want me to see him again or if you're planning to kill him." "It means if the first thing happens, the second thing is likely to follow."
Author: Lisa Kleypas
31. "The funny thing is that my husband couldn't be sweeter. He looks like this bad boy. He's got tattoos and earrings and a mohawk, but when you talk to him and he's around you, he's such a gentleman. He holds doors for ladies. He pulls out chairs. He cooks. He cleans."
Author: Malin Akerman
32. "Evan Handler is not only a fine actor, he's a damn good writer. It's Only Temporary is wise and funny and as righteously indignant as it is endearingly self-effacing. In what may be a literary first, the book actually left me wanting more."
Author: Meghan Daum
33. "But why me?Because, idiot, you... are funny and smart and you have a giant heart that you can't even pretend to hide. And you love your friends and your mum, and you held my hand and made me sing when I was so scared I thought I was going to die. I knew you understood, right from the beginning, this thing inside, the stuff in your head that you need to make real. You get that.... And you wear stupid Superman pyjamas without any irony, and your face lights up when you talk about the movies you love.... And... you protect my dwarf. You always have her back. And you have a dimple when you smile that's so cute I almost died the first time I saw it."
Author: Melissa Keil
34. "Bastion looked at the book.'I wonder,' he said to himself, 'what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures, deeds and battles. And sometimes there are storms at sea, or it takes you to strange cities and countries. All those things are somehow shut in a book. Of course you have to read it to find out. But it's already there, that's the funny thing. I just wish I knew how it could be.'Suddenly an almost festive mood came over him.He settled himself down, picked up the book, opened it to the first page, and began to read..."
Author: Michael Ende
35. "How the mighty have fallen," he said, looking down on Aten. Ard-Greimne was short and incredibly sensitive about his height. He always wore shoes with lifts in them. When Aten didn't respond, he tried again. "I said, how the mighty—""It wasn't funny or even clever the first time you said it," Aten said. "Nor is it original."
Author: Michael Scott
36. "And it's funny because it was my grandpa who painted it shut (window) in the first place, and he had a whole storage shed full of just about every tool you could imagine. He was one of those guys who thought he could fix anything, but it never worked out quite as well as he planned. He was more of a visionary than a nuts -and bolts kind of guy."
Author: Nicholas Sparks
37. "There is a funny story I always tell my students...when I came for the first time to the US. I didn't speak English (Only Spanish) & I saw on every door the word "exit" which in Spanish means Success = Exito. And then I said :"No wonder Americans are winners ,every door they take leads to success" ~smile :)"
Author: Pablo
38. "It's so funny castle, you know, at first I loved that he was so busy. It just, it just gave me the opportunity to keep one foot out the door just on case.But with one foot out the door, it's hard to know where you stand. And even if I did what does it mean?"
Author: Richard Castle
39. "Because Carter's not your only fan." When I looked back up, I saw Roman's green eyes were deadly serious. "You're a remarkable woman, just by your own nature. Smart. Funny. Compassionate. But what's really great is that you're so easy to underestimate. I did when we first met, you know. And Hell is now. No matter what their reaction to your appeal is, I guarantee most of them doubt you have a chance. You're going to prove them wrong. You're going to break the unbreakable. And I'll be there helping you, as much as I can."
Author: Richelle Mead
40. "She thought, He's afraid I'll make a mess of it. She was sure she had been careful to think that on the safe, private side of the silent border, but Ebon turned on her and said, Don't ever think that. About anything. You're my heart's sister, even if you are a funny shape and walk on your hind legs all the time and rattle away out loud like a donkey or a bird. I'm frightened because you're frightened, and because it's hard-it can be hard-the first time going into the Caves, and you're old for it-you can't do ssshuuwuushuu and the ssshasssha will be like...being thrown in a cold dark lake when you can't swim and you've never seen water before."
Author: Robin McKinley
41. "Isn't it weird," I said, "the way you remember things, when someone's gone?"What do you mean?"I ate another piece of waffle. "When my dad first died, all I could think about was that day. It's taken me so long to be able to think back to before that, to everything else."Wes was nodding before I even finished. "It's even worse when someone's sick for a long time," he said. "You forget they were ever healthy, ever okay. It's like there was never a time when you weren't waiting for something awful to happen."But there was," I said. "I mean, it's only been in the last few months that I've started remembering all this good stuff, funny stuff about my dad. I can't believe I ever forgot it in the first place."You didn't forget," Wes said, taking a sip of his water. "You just couldn't remember right then. But now you're ready to, so you can."I thought about this as I finished off my waffle."
Author: Sarah Dessen
42. "Anna seems warmer every time I meet her, thinks Lou. Funny, that. Some people, who seem friendly on first impression, turn out to be disappointingly superficial, whereas the aloof ones, like Anna, emerge as affectionate and loyal."
Author: Sarah Rayner
43. "My job on 'Dark Shadows' was to make it fun and funny, first and foremost. It can still be dark and it can still even be gory and gothic at times, but it also needed to be fun and it needed to be an experience that people would enjoy having."
Author: Seth Grahame Smith
44. "I love you Tory. I know I say it a lot, but...""I know baby. I feel the same way about you. Those words never convey what goes through my mind and heart every time I look up and see you sitting in my house. Funny thign is, I always thought my house was full and that there was nothing missing in my life. I had a job I loved. Family who loved me. Good friends to keep me sane. Everything a human could want. And t hen I met an infuriating, impossible man who added the one thing I didn't know wasn't there.""Dirty socks on the floor?"She laughed. "No, the other part of my heart. The last face I see before I go to sleep and the first one I see when I get up. I'm so glad it was you." Those words both thrilled and scared him. Mostly because he knew firsthand that if love went untended it turned into profound hatred. --Tory and Acheron"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
45. "There's a long history of anthropomorphic animals in Japanese literature. The so-called 'funny animal scrolls' were the first narratives in Japanese history, and the heroes of many folk tales have animals as their companions."
Author: Stan Sakai
46. "It's funny, I had dinner with my dear friend John Spencer last night and I'm not in the first episode, but he's at the beginning of it and he was telling me about it and I thought this sounds very hot because I think this is definitely the last year of West Wing."
Author: Stockard Channing
47. "Funny, how accustomed I'd become to visiting her here; how it gave me a strange sense of comfort to know that she and I were living in the same building. Her presence on base changed everything for me; the weeks she spent here became the first I ever enjoyed living in these quarters. I looked forward to her temper. Her tantrums. Her ridiculous arguments. I wanted her to yell at me; I would've congratulated her had she ever slapped me in the face. I was always pushing her, toying with her emotions. I wanted to meet the real girl trapped behind the fear. I wanted her to finally break free of her own carefully constructed restraints."
Author: Tahereh Mafi
48. "A cemetery?" I chuckle, but the pitch is a bit higher than I expected. "At night? With a full moon? Um ... did you see any, uh, zombies, you, while you were there?"Shiko blinks at me a few times. "No"I slump in relief. "Thank God. I mean, I don't want to be the first to die. The funny guy always dies first, for shock value, you know. Rourke would get killed next, because it's be a heroic sacrifice or something." I motion to Shiko. "You'd live, though, unless you had sex."... Shiko has the look of an addled kitten, complete with head tilt. Rourke sighs and leans toward her, embarrassed. 'You'll have to excuse him. According to his mother he has an irrational fear of something called the zombie apocalypse.""It's not irrational!"
Author: Vaughn R. Demont
49. "If you want to think about something really funny, kiddo, consider the fact that our favorite modern bad guys became villains by serving as heroes first--to millions. It is now a necessary apprenticeship."
Author: William H. Gass

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The piano is the X factor. People have a tough time following the structures when there's no piano there, spelling it out. It makes it more easily understood, particularly to people who don't know as much about music."
Author: Branford Marsalis

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