Top Funny Junkies Quotes

Browse top 23 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Junkies by most favorite authors.

Favorite Funny Junkies Quotes

1. "The fact is I'm choosy, but mainly about a man's character. He has to be interesting, funny and clever. I don't even mind if he's not very good-looking."
Author: Agyness Deyn
2. "She did not know how to react, for when your heart has been poisoned and someone picks a dandelion for you - because it is bright and yellow and you seem like you could use something like that - all you can do is contemplate the funny ways of weeds."
Author: Anne Ursu
3. "If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny."
Author: Calvin Trillin
4. "The name fuse followed me from the book to the screenplay, and now I have to live with the name, which I chose in 30 seconds with no thought about how it might sound or what it might imply. It was just a funny thing."
Author: Diablo Cody
5. "Making modern games funny would be easy as pie if it was anybody's goal to actually make a funny game."
Author: Doug TenNapel
6. "I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man."
Author: Frank Carson
7. "If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier"
Author: Gene Wilder
8. "Thanks is part to our education system, we tend to think that we're smarter than the stupid guys in funny wigs who came before us. But that's because we are mistaking technology, progress, and access to information for intelligence. We think that because we know how to use iPhones (but not build them), browse the Internet (but not understand how it works), and use Google (but not really know anything), our educational system is working just great. By the same token, we think that those dumb aristocrats who used horses to get around and didn't have electricity were neanderthals."
Author: Glenn Beck
9. "I wouldn't really know too much about pressure. I stay away from it like snow in the Sahara. That reminds me, isn't it funny how an adage might get lost in cultural translation? For instance, take the saying, "Don't eat yellow snow." Well, try telling that to a Bedouin who's never left the desert and has never seen pictures of other climates. You might have to rephrase it to, "Never eat yellow sand," which is sort of silly."
Author: Jarod Kintz
10. "I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David."
Author: Jeff Garlin
11. "I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not."
Author: Keenen Ivory Wayans
12. "I have had breast implants, but it's so funny 'cause it's not a secret; I could care less."
Author: Kourtney Kardashian
13. "The idyllic mayhem of two cultures colliding just doesn't seem as funny anymore."
Author: Kris Kidd
14. "I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable."
Author: Lake Bell
15. "I came to regard my body in a new light. For the first time I apprehended the little mounds on my chest as teats for the suckling of young, and their physical resemblance to udders on cows or the swinging distensions on lactating hounds was suddenly unavoidable. Funny how even women forget what breasts are for.The cleft between my legs transformed as well. It lost a certain outrageousness, an obscenity, or achieved an obscenity of a different sort. The flaps seemed to open not to a narrow, snug dead end, but to something yawning. The passageway itself became a route to somewhere else, a real place, and not merely to a darkness in my mind. The twist of flesh in front took on a devious aspect, its inclusion overtly ulterior, a tempter, a sweetener for doing the species' heavy lifting, like the lollipops I once got at the dentist."
Author: Lionel Shriver
16. "I find being funny very hard work. I am always asked about it, and I feel guilty saying that, but it's the truth. I love my work, but it ain't easy."
Author: Madeline Kahn
17. "It's not bad enough I am exiled? It's not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I'm allowed to meet? You think it's funny to send me this this ? this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! Take him back!"
Author: Rick Riordan
18. "It's a funny feeling, being suddenly airborne. Just as you realize it, it's over, and you're sinking."
Author: Sarah Dessen
19. "It's like the old pie-in-the-face routine: it stops being funny when it starts being you."
Author: Stephen King
20. "And get some self-esteem. What the fuck is that? It's so annoying to see a pretty girl see herself as not worthy. You know what it makes us guys think you aren't worthy? We see you how you see you. You're pretty and funny and smart. Stop being such a douche-canoe."
Author: Tara Brown
21. "The wildly drunk man from the cabin next door to ours is in front of me in the crowd. He's so drunk that he's standing in the women-and-children section. He complains loudly that this is boring and that we are a bunch of assholes. When a clearly terrified woman blurts out, "Please, sir, be quiet," he sways for a second and then lets out a long "Shuuuuut uuuuuuuup" that is funny not just because of its Jackie Gleason-style delivery but also because of its inappropriateness in a situation where we're all probably going to die."
Author: Tina Fey
22. "What did you wrap my hand with?" he asked. "My thong." I looked up at him. "You were right ; it's totally uncomfortable. Awesome for first-aid though." The corners of T.J.'s mouth turned up slighty. He looked at me, his brown eyes showing a trance of the spark that had been missing the night before. "It'll make for a funny story someday," I said. "You know what, Anna? It's kinda funny now."
Author: Tracey Garvis Graves
23. "There is some humour in 'Family Values.' I don't want everyone to think it's not going to make them laugh. But there are quite a lot of poems there that aren't funny at all."
Author: Wendy Cope

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Into your darkest corner, you are safe in my love, you are protected. I am the openess you seek, I am your doorway. Come sit in the circular temple of my heart, & let yourself be calm."
Author: Agapi Stassinopoulos

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