Top Funny Me Quotes

Browse top 22 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Me by most favorite authors.

Favorite Funny Me Quotes

1. "At the Theatre: To the Lady Behind MeDear Madam, you have seen this play;I never saw it till today.You know the details of the plot,But, let me tell you, I do not.The author seeks to keep from meThe murderer's identity,And you are not a friend of hisIf you keep shouting who it is.The actors in their funny wayHave several funny things to say,But they do not amuse me moreIf you have said them just before;The merit of the drama lies,I understand, in some surprise;But the surprise must now be smallSince you have just foretold it all.The lady you have brought with youIs, I infer, a half-wit too,But I can understand the pieceWithout assistance from your niece.In short, foul woman, it would suitMe just as well if you were mute;In fact, to make my meaning plain,I trust you will not speak again.And—may I add one human touch?—Don't breathe upon my neck so much."
Author: A.P. Herbert
2. "I want your body. I want your mouth. I want your red hair in my hands. I want your laugh and your funny faces. I want your friendship and your inspirational thoughts. I want Shakespeare and Amber Rose novels ... And I want you to come with me when I go."
Author: Amy Harmon
3. "It's so funny that people specify that year because in a way it was the biggest battle for me health wise."
Author: Brady Anderson
4. "It's funny that a lot of the fans of 'Angel' have come over and hung out with me on 'Leverage.' I was so fortunate to have been on that show. It created one of the best fan groups ever. I just have the best fans in the world."
Author: Christian Kane
5. "What's funny is my mom took me to the theater for the first time when I was six years old, and I was just amazed by it. I just said, 'Hey Mom, can I do this too?' And so she signed me up for little theater classes, and I remember my first audition for a play when I was seven years old was for 'The Thankful Elf.'"
Author: Dana Davis
6. "It was so good to see him in there, yet so funny to find him so much like me, and so tiny. "Nice kingdom you got here," I added, laughing again. "But it didn't feel quite right without you. Or should I say, without me?"This time he laughed too, and though there were no bubbles or sound I could feel his delight rise up through the water: which made me laugh even harder: which made him do the same.--Page 84, "The Brothers K"
Author: David James Duncan
7. "When I play a game, I want to play, not necessarily laugh. If you try to make me laugh at the expense of interactivity, then you've just created another funny game that isn't very fun. The videogame medium itself is a terrible place for complicated humor, drama, and character development."
Author: Doug TenNapel
8. "Being with her I feel a pain, like a frozen knife stuck in my chest. An awful pain, but the funny thing is I'm thankful for it. It's like that frozen pain and my very existence are one.The pain is an anchor, mooring me here."
Author: Haruki Murakami
9. "We can't lose you," she said after a few moments of awkward as hell silence. "You have to understand that we aren't doing this because we don't care about Kat. We're doing this because we love you.""But I love her," I said without hesitation.Dee's eyes widened, probably since it was the first time she'd herd me say it out loud, well, about anyone other than my family. I wished I had said it more often, especially to Kat. Funny how that kind of shit always turns out in the end. While you're deep in something, you never say or do what you need to. It's always after the fact, when it's too late that you realize what you've should've said or done/It couldn't be too late. I knew that. The fact that I was still alive was testament to that. Like Dee said, though, there were worse things than death."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
10. "Your eyes surprise me every time I look into them and they're looking back at me. Your mouth surprises me, because you always seem to smile more with one half that with the other, like part of you knows a funny secret that none of the rest of us, not even your other half, can guess."
Author: Jennifer Lynn Barnes
11. "During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one."
Author: Jerry Stiller
12. "So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work."
Author: Joseph Bologna
13. "My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
Author: Karen Duffy
14. "Oh, Mr. Cuthbert," she whispered, that place we came through--that white place--what was it?""Well now, you must mean the Avenue," said Matthew after a few moments' profound reflection. "It is a kind of pretty place.""Pretty? Oh, PRETTY doesn't seem the right word to use. Nor beautiful, either. They don't go far enough. Oh, it was wonderful--wonderful. It's the first thing I ever saw that couldn't be improved upon by imagination. It just satisfies me here"--she put one hand on her breast--"it made a queer funny ache and yet it was a pleasant ache. Did you ever have an ache like that, Mr. Cuthbert?""Well now, I just can't recollect that I ever had.""I have it lots of time--whenever I see anything royally beautiful. But they shouldn't call that lovely place the Avenue. There is no meaning in a name like that. They should call it--let me see--the White Way of Delight. Isn't that a nice imaginative name?"
Author: L.M. Montgomery
15. "- Dude, it's Jocelyn, I (Jordan) say looking over my shoulder nervously [...]- This isn't Jocelyn, B.J says sighing. It's Jordan. Dude, try to play a better trick than that. You sound nothing like her. Plus your number came up on my caller ID.PS: maybe I'm just in a very good mood, but I keep laughing while reading this book, there are plenty of scenes that make me smile, and this is one of them.. it's just hilarious how silly and funny these characters are ;))"
Author: Lauren Barnholdt
16. "I think the pattern of my essays is, A funny thing happened to me on my way through Finnegans Wake."
Author: Leslie Fiedler
17. "I feel there's a funny little hole in me that wasn't there before, like a splinter in your finger, but this is somewhere above my stomach."
Author: Louise Fitzhugh
18. "I'm going away anyway. I am. Do you hear me? I may be ugly and clumsy, but one thing I am not, I'm not retarded. I may be ugly and clumsy, but one thing I am not, I'm not retarded. There's nothing wrong with my brain. Do you know what the Teacher Ghosts say about me? They tell me I'm smart, and I can win scholarships. I can get into colleges. I've already applied. I'm smart. I can do all sorts of things. I know how to get A's, and they say I could be a scientist or a mathematician if I want. I can make a living and take care of myself. So you don't have to find me a keeper who's too dumb to know a bad bargain. I'm so smart, if they say write ten pages, I can write fifteen. I can do ghost things even better than ghosts can. Not everyone thinks I'm nothing. I am not going to be a slave or a wife. Even if I am stupid and talk funny amd get sick, I won't let you turn me into a slave or a wife. I'm getting out of here. I can't stand living here anyore. It's your fault I talk weird."
Author: Maxine Hong Kingston
19. "High school parties exhausted me because I always felt like I was the only thinking person in a room mostly full of morons obliterating precious IQ points with every gulp of whatever booze they managed to steal out of their parents' liquor cabinets. College parties are exhausting in a diametrically opposite way. They are full of smart, funny people who are all used to being the smartest, funniest person in the room, so they spend the whole party talking over one another, overlapping and overtaking the conversation to prove that they are the smartest, funniest person in the room, if not the entire planet."
Author: Megan McCafferty
20. "At some point, I figured that it would be more effective and far funnier to embrace the ugliest, most terrifying things in the world--the Holocaust, racism, rape, et cetera. But for the sake of comedy, and the comedian's personal sanity, this requires a certain emotional distance. It's akin to being a shrink or a social worker. you might think that the most sensitive, empathetic person would make the best social worker, but that person would end up being soup on the floor. It really takes someone strong--someone, dare I say, with a big fat wall up--to work in a pool of heartbreak all day and not want to fucking kill yourself. But adopting a persona at once ignorant and arrogant allowed me to say what I didn't mean, even preach the opposite of what I believed. For me, it was a funny way to be sincere. And like the jokes in a roast, the hope is that the genuine sentiment--maybe even a goodness underneath the joke (however brutal) transcends."
Author: Sarah Silverman
21. "What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating."
Author: Scott Hamilton
22. "We went hand in hand across four lines of avenues. At the corner she was to go right, and I left."I'd like so much to come to your place today and let the blinds down. Today-right this minute" said O, and shyly looked up at me with her round crystal-blue eyes.she's a funny one. But what could I say? She was with me only yesterday, and she knows as well as I do that our next Sex Day is the day after tomorrow. It's just more of her thought getting ahead of itself, like a spark that flies too early in the ignition, which can do some harm at times.Saying goodbye, I kissed her twice-no, I'll tell the truth-three times on those wonderful blue eyes of hers that not the least little cloud ever troubled."
Author: Yevgeny Zamyatin

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Today's Quote

It's up to us, the people, to break immoral laws, and resist. As soon as the leaders of a country lie to you, they have no authority over you. These maniacs have no authority over us. And they might be able to put our bodies in prison, but they can't put our spirits in prison."
Author: Cindy Sheehan

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