Top Funny Opposites Attract Quotes

Browse top 26 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Opposites Attract by most favorite authors.

Favorite Funny Opposites Attract Quotes

1. "Escape Hatches - A Brief Consideration... North America. Pros: charming accent might attract general goodwill, free drinks. Cons: am frightened by the concept of Texas."
Author: Belle De Jour
2. "Needs don't attract rewards, deeds do"
Author: Constance Chuks Friday
3. "Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been used to it for years, so it's no problem. And there's nothing I can't do."
Author: Dana Hill
4. "If you describe yourself as "Atheist," some people will say, "Don't you mean 'Agnostic'?" I have to reply that I really do mean Atheist. I really do not believe that there is a god - in fact I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one. It's easier to say that I am a radical Atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it's an opinion I hold seriously. It's funny how many people are genuinely surprised to hear a view expressed so strongly. In England we seem to have drifted from vague wishy-washy Anglicanism to vague wishy-washy Agnosticism - both of which I think betoken a desire not to have to think about things too much."
Author: Douglas Adams
5. "When you have two people who love each other, are happy and gay and really good work is being done by one or both of them, people are drawn to them as surely as migrating birds are drawn at night to a powerful beacon. If the two people were as solidly constructed as the beacon there would be little damage except to the birds. Those who attract people by their happiness and their performance are usually inexperienced. They do not know how not to be overrun and how to go away. They do not always learn about the good, the attractive, the charming, the soon-beloved, the generous, the understanding rich who have no bad qualities and who give each day the quality of a festival and who, when they have passed and taken the nourishment they needed, leave everything deader than the roots of any grass Attila's horses' hooves have ever scoured."
Author: Ernest Hemingway
6. "The world would hate His followers, not because of evil in their lives, but precisely because of the absence of evil or rather their goodness. Goodness does not cause hatred, but it gives occasion for hatred to manifest itself. The holier and purer a life, the more it would attract malignity and hate. Mediocrity alone survives."
Author: Fulton J. Sheen
7. "It is funny how it is almost more painful to fall over and scrape your knee than to be blown up. Your body goes into incredible protection mode."
Author: Giles Duley
8. "I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time's chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred."
Author: Harold Brodkey
9. "The great ones do not set up offices, charge fees, give lectures, or write books. Wisdom is silent, and the most effective propaganda for truth is the force of personal example. The great ones attract disciples, lesser figures whose mission is to preach and to teach. These are gospelers who, unequal to the highest task, spend their lives in converting others. The great ones are indifferent, in the profoundest sense. They don't ask you to believe: they electrify you by their behavior. They are the awakeners. What you do with your petty life is of no concern to them. What you do with your life is only of concern to you, they seem to say. In short, their only purpose here on earth is to inspire. And what more can one ask of a human being than that?"
Author: Henry Miller
10. "The Islam of the 18th, 19th and first half of the 20th century was a poor thing. Nobody bothered about it. Islam was that funny sort of pure system of beliefs that depressed people in the Middle East held as their religion."
Author: John Keegan
11. "The youth were to be trained to be the vanguard of the next battlefront, whatever that was. I knew within my heart that the Gibson experiment in city hall would attract enemies, so I intended to teach these young people how to fight on this new battlefield."
Author: Junius Williams
12. "It was funny because she thought of herself as a good team player, although sometimes she suspected that no one else on her team did."
Author: Kate Atkinson
13. "By all means, stay," Anne said. "Have a seat. We'll take care of you next.""Yeah, see, I think someone else is going to be on trial next." Baring my teeth at her in a grin I pulled out my file folder. "I've got some interesting reading here. And I even brought copies for everyone so you don't have to share."A distinguished-looking South American man on the end shook his head. "What is this? Another farce?""No, but bonus points for using a funny word. You really want to read what I have here. Anne, you'll be especially interested, since you have a starring role.""Enough. Rhia—"Reth quickly flicked his wrist at her; her mouth kept moving, but no sound came out. It was one of the most satisfying things I'd ever seen. Sure, that trick had sucked when he used it on me, but I wholly approved of it now."
Author: Kiersten White
14. "I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious."
Author: Molly Ivins
15. "She thought it funny how the poor environment had been raped just fine until there was a sufficient excess of the people who had effected the raping to produce sufficient numbers of themselves who were sufficiently idle that they might begin to protest the raping of the environment, which was irretrievably lost to the raping by that point.And this would be the great soothing cathedral music, the stopping of the chainsaws amid the patter of acid rain, that all good citizens would listen to for the quarter-century it took them all to wire up to cyberspace and forget about the lost hopeless run-over gang-ridden land, reproducing madly still all the while, inside their bunkers listening to NPR."
Author: Padgett Powell
16. "You know,' Shane said twenty minutes later, 'I'd feel a whole lot better about the two of us if you didn't think i was the go-to guy for breaking and entering.'She felt a flash of guilt about the breaking-and-entering part -but she had called him- just before her heart did a funny little painful flip and she heard him say again in her head THE TWO OF US."
Author: Rachel Caine
17. "Empty space eventually fills up with something. A void, cultivated in the aftermath of misfortune, begins to attract the wrong kind of attention. Marco knew it was time to leave when disagreeable spirits started roaming freely through the house, as if they owned the place."
Author: Rahma Krambo
18. "It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married."
Author: Regina King
19. "A: Funny about my mother. All my life, from the time I was just a little kid, I thought of her as a sad person. I mean, the way some people are tall or fat or skinny. My father always seemed the stronger one. As if he was a bright color and she was a faded color. I know it sounds crazy.T: Not at all.A: But later, when I learned the truth about our lives, I found she was still sad. But strong, too. Not faded at all. It wasn't sadness so much as fear--the Never Knows."
Author: Robert Cormier
20. "I suppose I could have been nicer when I was at Columbia. I could have been polite, respectful, turned in my papers on time. Funny thing is, I knew a guy like that. English major. Loved to read. Never got in any trouble, just hung out in Butler Library reading poetry and English history. Ran into him the other day. Guy has three master's degrees, taught high school, even did a few years in the Marines. Know what he does today? He makes $9.75 an hour as a librarian.I was a jerk when I went to Columbia. But I was never a sucker."
Author: Ted Rall
21. "Dodger made haste towards the house of the Mayhews while in his mind he saw the cheerful face and hooked nose of Mister Punch, beating his wife, beating the policeman and throwing the baby away, which made all the children laugh. Why was that funny, he thought? Was that funny at all? He'd lived for seventeen years on the streets, and so he knew that, funny or not, it was real. Not all the time, of course, but often when people had been brought down so low that they could think of nothing better to do than punch: punch the wife, punch the child and then, sooner or later, endeavour to punch the hangman, although that was the punch that never landed and, oh how the children laughed at Mister Punch! But Simplicity wasn't laughing..."
Author: Terry Pratchett
22. "Life is strange and funny with many winding roads ahead...but the roads of greed and  hypocrisy will lead to a person's downfall each and every time."
Author: Timothy Pina
23. "The real funny thing is, whether the demons exist or not at all in your life, it's nothing to do whether you believe or not to one, none nor both of them."
Author: Toba Beta
24. "If I ever do anything, it actually might be some fantasy elf thing or even some cute, funny thing. Just to do something a little bit out of the ordinary. I've done my superhero gig."
Author: Todd McFarlane
25. "Time is funny lately, nothing to do with clocks."
Author: Victor Lodato
26. "Possibly I've become less funny as I've been happier."
Author: Wendy Cope

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I had some experience in dealing with people who have mental illness and depression, but I didn't see the signs in myself. I couldn't ask for help because I didn't know I needed help."
Author: Clara Hughes

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