Top Funny Payment Quotes

Browse top 13 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Payment by most favorite authors.

Favorite Funny Payment Quotes

1. "I think if actors don't think of themselves as funny in real life they think they can't do comedy."
Author: Ben Barnes
2. "It is a funny thing. A man can make a promise to his God, break it five minutes later and never think about it. With an idle shrug of his shoulders, a man can break solemn promises to his mother, wife or sweetheart, and, except for a slight momentary twinge of conscience, he still won't be bothered very much. But if a man ever breaks a promise to himself he disintegrates. His entire personality and character crumble into tiny pieces, and he is never the same man again.I remember very well a sergeant I knew in the army. Before a group of five men he swore off smoking forever. An hour later he sheepishly lit a cigarette and broke his vow to the five of us and to himself. He was never quite the same man again, not to me, and not to himself."
Author: Charles Willeford
3. "It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals."
Author: Craig Bruce
4. "Your eyes surprise me every time I look into them and they're looking back at me. Your mouth surprises me, because you always seem to smile more with one half that with the other, like part of you knows a funny secret that none of the rest of us, not even your other half, can guess."
Author: Jennifer Lynn Barnes
5. "I reach for funny books all the time to help me get through life."
Author: Laurie Halse Anderson
6. "Now when I see something beautiful or funny or sweet, sometimes I reach for my camera, but other times I think, 'I need to let this moment exist. I don't have to capture everything. I just want to experience it.'"
Author: Leelee Sobieski
7. "I'm not the girl men chose.I'm the girl who's charming and funny and then drives home wondering what she did wrong. I'm the girl who meets someone halfway decent and then fills in the gaps in his character with my own imagination, only to be shocked when he's not the man I thought he was.I'm the girl who hides who she really is for fear I'll fall short."
Author: Liza Palmer
8. "Memory is a funny thing. It tricks you into believing that you've forgotten important moments, and then when you're raking your brain for a bit of information that might make sense of something else, it taps you on the head and says, "Remember when you told me to put that memory in the green rubbish bin? Well, I didn't, I put it in the black recycling tub, and it's coming your way again."
Author: Melina Marchetta
9. "Death's a funny thing. I used to think it was a big, sudden thing, like a huge owl that would swoop down out of the night and carry you off. I don't anymore. I think it's a slow thing. Like a thief who comes to your house day after day, taking a little thing here and a little thing there, and one day you walk round your house and there's nothing there to keep you, nothing to make you want to stay. And then you lie down and shut up forever. Lots of little deaths until the last big one."
Author: Neil Gaiman
10. "It was funny actually because that was still during the time we were dating. He would get all these calls because supposedly before we broke up, we had already broken up in the trades, in the rags or whatever."
Author: Rosario Dawson
11. "I cook better than you," Nick corrected absently. "I think monkeys can probably be taught to cook better than you.""I'd like to have a monkey that cooked for me," said Jamie. " I would pay him in bananas. His name would be Alphonse.""I agree, that would be awesome." Mae said. "People would come for dinner just to see the monkey chef.""You're raving," Nick said, defrosting chicken in the microwave. Mae was a bit impressed with how he seemed to look at the appliance and instantly comprehend its mysteries, when she'd been heating up ready-made meals for years by a method of pressing random buttons and hoping. " I know that's the only way Jamie communicates with people, but I expected better of you, Mavis.""We're cutting out the whole Mavis thing right now, Nick," Mae said warningly."How many bananas would be good payment for a monkey?" Jamie wanted to know. " I would want to pay Alphonse a fair wage."
Author: Sarah Rees Brennan
12. "Perhaps her faults and follies, the unhappiness she had suffered, were not entirely vain if she could follow the path that now she dimly discerned before her, not the path that kind funny old Waddington had spoken of that led nowhither, but the path those dear nuns at the convent followed so humbly, the path that led to peace."
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
13. "Nothing becomes funny by being labelled so."
Author: William Strunk Jr.

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Mathematics is not arithmetic. Though mathematics may have arisen from the practices of counting and measuring it really deals with logical reasoning in which theorems—general and specific statements—can be deduced from the starting assumptions. It is, perhaps, the purest and most rigorous of intellectual activities, and is often thought of as queen of the sciences."
Author: Christopher Zeeman

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