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1. "By journey's end the brides were much better acquainted with their grooms and more or less pleased with the matches. Sybil Bingham wrote in her diary, thanking God for answering her prayer for filling "the void" with a husband like Hiram, a "treasure rich and undeserved." Having read his insufferable memoir, "A Residence of Twenty-one Years in the Sandwich Islands", all I can say is: I'm happy for her?"
Author: Sarah Vowell

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Meetings are the Hail Marys of alcoholics. You can do or almost do anything, feel anything, commit any number of non-sober atrocities, as long as you follow with an AA chaser."After I cut off his penis, I sauteed it in rosemary butter and ate it.""But did you go to a meeting afterward?""Yes""I wouldn't worry about it then."
Author: Augusten Burroughs

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