Top Grouch Quotes

Browse top 38 famous quotes and sayings about Grouch by most favorite authors.

Favorite Grouch Quotes

1. "Satisfied with my plan, I wrap a towel around my head genie-style, then wrap another one around my body. I open the bathroom door. And almost jump out of my skin. Galen is sitting on my bed. I've really got to start locking my balcony doors.He looks mad and happy at the same time. It's only been twenty-four hours since I've seen him, but even sleep deprived and grouchy, I'm excited that he's back."I think your dad was a Half-Breed," he says. He frowns. "And I never told Rayna I would teach her how to drive."
Author: Anna Banks
2. "I am not going to give you disclaimers about what you can expect to find in my story. I went through menopause recently and find I don't much care about anyone's sensibilities anymore. I am called BadSquirrel for a reason. Considering how incredibly rude and grouchy I have become, I expect all of you to be extremely grateful to the QMBG (Queen Mother Bitch Goddess for those of you who haven't kept up) for all of the good warm fuzzy bits of my story. If you like it, it's because she went through it and took out all the really disturbing parts and made me behave."
Author: BadSquirrel
3. "I ain't grouchy," Teft snapped. "I just have a low threshold for stupidity."
Author: Brandon Sanderson
4. "Even when she'd fantasized, what she'd come up with hadn't ever matched this reality. She'd never envisioned a sexy, borderline grouchy guy with a glint in his eye and an erection this tempting."
Author: Cari Quinn
5. "I guess I´m too used to sitting in a small room and making words do a few things. I see enough of humanity at the racetracks, the supermarkets, gas stations, freeways, cafes, etc. This can´t be helped. But I feel like kicking myself in the ass when I go to gatherings, even if the drinks are free. It never works for me. I´ve got enough clay to play with. People empty me. I have to get away to refill. I´m what´s best for me, sitting here slouched, smoking a beedie and watching this creen flash the words. Seldom do you meet a rare or interesting person. It´s more than galling, it´s a fucking constant shock. It´s making a god-damned grouch out of me. Anybody can be a god-damned grouch and most are. Help!"
Author: Charles Bukowski
6. "I have to admit," I said when he finished a lengthy discussion on the types of drivers, "I've been golfing and it's about the most boring thing I've ever done. Old men drive around in golf carts pretending they're sporty and getting grouchy if there's any noise. It's like the nursing-home Olympics."Nick's mouth dropped open. "It takes great athletic ability to know how to aim and drive the ball that far." "I get more exercise shopping at the mall," I joked. "I don't come home and tell everyone I won at shopping." Although those red shoes I got on sale the other day felt like a win."
Author: Cindi Madsen
7. "She hated Mr. Meanie. But she'd gotten to know him and they'd reached an understanding of sorts. Now she was to have him for supper."Don't tell me you're feeling guilty?"Breaking off a piece of the wing, she brought it to her lips and took a bite. It did taste good. Very good."I wonder if all grouchy males are this palatable."Drew choked.She looked up, tilting her head. "Are you all right?"He turned a dull red. "Eat your supper, Connie."
Author: Deeanne Gist
8. "Groucho Marx continued to alternately call Margaret Dumont "a great lady" and to denigrate her in interviews. But he seemed, at the end, to realize how important she'd been to his career. When accepting his 1974 Lifetime Achievement Oscar, the ailing Groucho told the audience, "I only wish Harpo and Chico could have been here—and Margaret Dumont."
Author: Eve Golden
9. "I'm really 95 percent Mr. Rogers, and only 5 percent Oscar the Grouch.'"
Author: George Steinbrenner
10. "Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar"Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change."Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books."
Author: Groucho Marx
11. "Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?Woman: Really?Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere."
Author: Groucho Marx
12. "Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?"Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight."
Author: Groucho Marx
13. "I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home."Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup:"
Author: Groucho Marx
14. "I don't mind playing absolute bastards... I just don't want to play the grouch."
Author: Hume Cronyn
15. "The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl."
Author: Irving Berlin
16. "Je suis Marxiste, tendance Groucho."
Author: Jean Luc Godard
17. "If chocolate were a mandatory part of breakfast, people wouldn't be sogrouchy in the morning."
Author: Joanne Fluke
18. "Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspective."
Author: John Lithgow
19. "Some dreams matter, illuminate a crucial choice or reveal some intuition that's trying to push its way to the surface. Other, though, are detritus, the residue of the day reassembling itself in some disjointed and chaotic way ... Frantic dreams, they left me tired, and I woke grouchy to another rainy day, the sky so densely gray and the rain so thick that I couldn't that I couldn't see the opposite shore [p, 166]"
Author: Kim Edwards
20. "It is important you understand how fear affects you and how it drives human behavior so you can start to see situations and people accurately and respond more appropriately. When someone is behaving badly, attacking you, or being defensive, critical, or judgmental, it is not really about you. Fear is the real reason people behave badly. Their fears make them selfish, defensive, mean, and grouchy. Every time someone is behaving badly, step back and ask yourself, "What is this person afraid of? What fear inside me is driving my reaction to their attack? What am I afraid of?" When you can accurately see the fear behind their behavior, and yours, you will see the situation for what it really is."
Author: Kimberly Giles
21. "I wasn't, baby," I said gently. He pierced me with a glower then went back to searching the man's pockets, muttering grouchily to himself, "She seduces me with this word. She also thinks she can use it to get away with madness."
Author: Kristen Ashley
22. "Give up your thirst for books, so that you do not die a grouch."
Author: Marcus Aurelius
23. "I look a little like Beaker. I think I'm a cross between Beaker and The Count. My hair looks like Oscar the Grouch. It's Muppety hair."
Author: Matthew Gray Gubler
24. "So we came to say hello. To the world's grouchiest person. Because that's such fun."
Author: Molly Ringle
25. "Who was that lad they used to try to make me read at Oxford? Ship- Shop- Schopenhauer. That's the name. A grouch of the most pronounced description."
Author: P.G. Wodehouse
26. "Normally he was fond of most things. He was a good-natured and cheerful young man, who liked life and the great majority of those who lived it contemporaneously with himself. He had no enemies and many friends.But today he had noticed from the moment he had got out of bed that something was amiss with the world. Either he was in the grip of some divine discontent due to the highly developed condition of his soul, or else he had a grouch. One of the two."
Author: P.G. Wodehouse
27. "I believe I have a sunny disposition, and am not naturally a grouch. It takes a lot of optimism, after all, to be a traveler."
Author: Paul Theroux
28. "I was coming down off the last painkiller left in my dresser drawer after Autumn tossed my stash. In that moment I was so groggy and happy I would have accepted a date with Oscar the Grouch - and planned to do some serious feeling up on the green furry beast too. Yeah, stooping to pharmaceutical-inspired sex fantasies about garbage can Sesame Street characters - that had to be the best Just Say No drug lecture a girl in a leg cast could ever receive to make her go cold turkey off the meds."
Author: Rachel Cohn
29. "You should make her call you ‘Miss Georgina,'" added Hugh with a mocking southern drawl. "Or at least ‘ma'am.'"Niphon's presence and Jerome's lecture had put me in a grouchy mood. "I'm not doing any mentoring. She's so gungho to take on the world's male population, she doesn't even need me."The three men exchanged more smirks. Cody made some hissing and meowing sounds, scratching at the air."This isn't funny," I said."Sure it is," said Cody."
Author: Richelle Mead
30. "I swear there are about a million rocks underneath me," [Dylan] said grouchily.Think of it as therapeutic. Like a shiatsu massage." (Sadie)You obviously have a much better imagination than me," he said."
Author: Sarah Mayberry
31. "I know I'm not funny. I mean, let's face it, I'm no Groucho Marx. But if you're a guy, and you're watching late night television, are you gonna start jacking off to Groucho? I don't think so!"
Author: Sarah Silverman
32. "Je t'aime, Lottie. Plus qu'un zloty." I hesitate, not sure what to say. "Well, it's a start....""'I love you, Lottie, More that a zloty'?" Lorcan translates incredulously. "Seriously?" "Lottie's a difficult rhyme!" Richard says defensively. "You try!" "You could have used 'potty,'" suggests Noah. "'I love you, Lottie, Sitting on the potty.'""Thanks, Noah," says Richard grouchily. "Appreciate it."
Author: Sophie Kinsella
33. "When we come to [work] we bring an attitude. We can bring a moody attitude and have a depressing day. We can bring a grouchy attitude and irritate our coworkers and customers. Or we can bring a sunny, playful, cheerful attitude and have a great day."
Author: Stephen C. Lundin
34. "There's a reason I always look nice when I go to work." I kept a scowl on my face while she hustled me upstairs."Because you'll get fired if you look like a slob?""Because, my little grouch, it makes me feel better on the inside if I like how I look on the outside."
Author: Stephie Davis
35. "You broke up with me, and I spend one night with one guy who turns out to be the reason I'm even here, in domestic BLISS with your grouchy ass, and you can't spare an evening for dinner? You are a dick."
Author: Tere Michaels
36. "Give me a man who understands my moods, who brother-like, understands my grouchiness. If you will give your mind to what I say, dear friend, you will remember me one day."
Author: Theognis
37. "Finally the world would see my full range of comedy characters - from grouchy librarian to Russian librarian."
Author: Tina Fey
38. "Grouchy is a typical habit of the victims."
Author: Toba Beta

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I took some me time. I think that's a really important thing to do for yourself, especially in this business. And now I feel like I'm in a really good, positive place in my life."
Author: Ashlee Simpson

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