Top Health Insurance Funny Quotes

Browse top 28 famous quotes and sayings about Health Insurance Funny by most favorite authors.

Favorite Health Insurance Funny Quotes

1. "You can't make assumptions when you're dealing with health issues."
Author: Adam Clayton
2. "... Good gracious, Jerry, you'll probably have to marry the girl.'Joanna was half serious, half laughing.It was at that moment that I made a very important discovery.'Damn it all,' I said. 'I don't mind if I do. In fact - I should like it.'A very funny expression came over Joanna's face. She got up and said dryly, as she went toward the door, 'Yes, I've known that for some time...'She left me standing, glass in hand, aghast at my new discovery."
Author: Agatha Christie
3. "I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion."
Author: Anthony Anderson
4. "Most of the State of the Union will not be about Iraq. Most of the State of the Union will be about improving America's economy and providing greater access to health care for millions of American people, including senior citizens."
Author: Ari Fleischer
5. "He would say, "How funny it will all seem, all you've gone through, when I'm not here anymore, when you no longer feel my arms around your shoulders, nor my heart beneath you, nor this mouth on your eyes, because I will have to go away some day, far away..." And in that instant I could feel myself with him gone, dizzy with fear, sinking down into the most horrible blackness: into death."
Author: Arthur Rimbaud
6. "My life isn't theories and formulae. It's part instinct, part common sense. Logic is as good a word as any, and I've absorbed what logic I have from everything and everyone… from my mother, from training as a ballet dancer, from Vogue magazine, from the laws of life and health and nature."
Author: Audrey Hepburn
7. "Beautiful food and health are priceless."
Author: Bryant McGill
8. "I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of."
Author: Calvin Trillin
9. "He auditioned with Lily, and he and Lily had incredible chemistry that sort of blazed off the scene. I'm just sitting here watching this on my computer, and you know, he was not the only person they've ever sent me to look at. I've gotten lots of headshots and this and that, and I'm watching the audition and I literally started crying because that was my Jace and Clary on the screen. And it's an incredible feeling to see that even as an audition. This is amazing. He was snarky funny where he needed to be snarky funny, and he was badass where he needed to be badass. And he and Lily were incredible together"
Author: Cassandra Clare
10. "Finally, after a glance at Notre Dame and a brisk trot through the Louvre, we sat down at a cafe on the Place de l'Opera and watched the people. They were amazing -- never had we seen such costumes, such make-up, such wigs; and, strangest of all, the wearers didn't seem in the least conscious of how funny they looked. Many of them even stared at us and smiled, as though we had been the oddities, and not they. Mr. Holmes no doubt found it amusing to see the pageant of prostitution, poverty and fashion reflected in our callow faces and wide-open eyes."
Author: Christopher Isherwood
11. "We need to be careful when we talk about cutting health care costs. They are not going to be reduced - what we really want to do is do is slow the rate of increase."
Author: Dave Obey
12. "They regarded each other for a moment. He lay down once more, and after a moment she followed and jumped a little when she found out that he had slid his arm beneath her shoulders. There was a self-conscious moment of mutual discomfort before she turned onto her side abs curled towards him. Tightening his arm around her, he spoke into the top of her head.‘You know what I can't understand? You have all these people telling you all the time how great you are, smart, funny and talented and all that, I mean endlessly, I've been telling you for years. So why don't you believe it? Why do you think people say that stuff, Em? Do you think it's a conspiracy, people secretly ganging up to be nice to you?"
Author: David Nicholls
13. "The state of a family's health should never depend on the size of a family's wealth"
Author: Edward M. Kennedy
14. "Good health is the best weapon against religion. Healthy bodies and healthy minds have never been shaken by religious fears."
Author: Emil Cioran
15. "After that came her biggie: a triple murder--her dealer, the dealer's sister, and the dealer's sister's boyfriend.Reading that made me feel a little funny that we'd fucked and I'd loved her."
Author: George Saunders
16. "You know, it was just another presentation of my work, and a funny one, because the cards are quite different from the normal Tarot deck, no?"
Author: H. R. Giger
17. "Do you know anything that in all its innocence is more humiliating than the funny pages of a Sunday newspaper in America?"
Author: Johan Huizinga
18. "Social Security was always supposed to be basically in theory an insurance program where you pay in and then you get out."
Author: Judd Gregg
19. "This is going to make such a great story: How I nursed a pirate back to health and my love saved him," Miss Ohio said with a contented sigh. "And then we can have our own reality show about our relationship."- "Beauty Queens"
Author: Libba Bray
20. "People don't trust the federal government as it relates to health care."
Author: Mike Conaway
21. "He was a humorist, and everyone knew the funny writers were the most serious sort under their skins."
Author: Paula McLain
22. "I don't have this weird, natural funny bone that constantly comes out. It's not like my every instinct is to be funny, and I'm always having to dampen that down."
Author: Rachael Harris
23. "Disease and ill health are caused largely by damage at the molecular and cellular level, yet today's surgical tools are too large to deal with that kind of problem."
Author: Ralph Merkle
24. "I want to hold onto this funny thing. God, it's gotten big on me. I don't know what it is. I'm so damned unhappy, I'm so mad, and I don't know why. I feel like I'm putting on weight. I feel fat. I feel like I'm saving a lot of things, and I don't know what. I might even start reading books."
Author: Ray Bradbury
25. "It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain."
Author: Rick Baker
26. "We all recognize that in recent decades, many important achievements have helped create a cleaner, healthier environment, yet our national needs in environmental health are not being fully met."
Author: Samuel Wilson
27. "President Obama, through health care reform, strengthened Medicare. How did he do that? Well, he found savings by cutting subsidies to insurance companies, ensuring we were rooting out waste and fraud, and he used those savings to put it back into Medicare."
Author: Stephanie Cutter
28. "Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together."
Author: Thomas Dekker

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I'm going to play,' says Armand, lacing his fingers and cracking the knuckles. ‘A pair of these lads can pump for me.' ‘Is this a time for playing?' asks Jean Baptiste. Then, ‘You are right. You have never been more so."
Author: Andrew Miller

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