Top Horoscope Quotes

Browse top 20 famous quotes and sayings about Horoscope by most favorite authors.

Favorite Horoscope Quotes

1. "That's cool," he says."Yeah," I say, and we go into another marathon pause."So..." he finally says. "Think you can start talking to me again?""Oh,so you noticed the silencio treatment?" I tease. My horoscope in Seventeen this month encourages me to "take a romantic risk," so I'm going for it."Yeah,I noticed when I had to do Actividad thirty-three as both fruit vendor and customer," he says, and I can hear him grinning through the phone."
Author: Alecia Whitaker
2. "Put it this way, how do you feel about the supernatural?""I'm fine with it," Molly replied coolly. "I used to watch Charmed and Buffy and all those shows."Gabriel winced slightly. "This isn't quite the same thing.""Okay, well, listen to this. Last week my horoscope in Cosmo told me I was going to meet an enchanting strangerand this guy on the bus gave me his phone number. I'm a total believer now.""Yeah, you've really seen the light," Xavier said under his breath."Did you know that Sagittarians have a problem with sarcasm?" Molly snapped."That would be very enlightening, except I'm a Leo.""Yeah, well, everyone knows they're a pack of assholes!""My God, you're like talking to a rock.""You're a rock!"
Author: Alexandra Adornetto
3. "A scientist places an ad in a Paris newspaper offering a free horoscope. He receives about 150 replies, each, as requested, detailing a place and time of birth. Every respondent is then sent the identical horoscope, along with a questionnaire asking how accurate the horoscope had been. Ninety-four per cent of the respondents (and 90 per cent of their families and friends) reply that they were at least recognizable in the horoscope. However, the horoscope was drawn up for a French serial killer. If an astrologer can get this far without even meeting his subjects, think how well someone sensitive to human nuances and not overly scrupulous might do."
Author: Carl Sagan
4. "In the 18th century, a revolution in thought, known as the Enlightenment, dragged us away from the superstition and brutality of the Middle Ages toward a modern age of science, reason and democracy. It changed everything. If it wasn't for the Enlightenment, you wouldn't be reading this right now. You'd be standing in a smock throwing turnips at a witch. Yes, the Enlightenment was one of the most significant developments since the wheel. Which is why we're trying to bollocks it all up.Welcome to a dangerous new era - the Unlightenment - in which centuries of rational thought are overturned by idiots. Superstitious idiots. They're everywhere - reading horoscopes, buying homeopathic remedies, consulting psychics, babbling about "chakras" and "healing energies", praying to imaginary gods, and rejecting science in favour of soft-headed bunkum. But instead of slapping these people round the face till they behave like adults, we encourage them. We've got to respect their beliefs, apparently."
Author: Charlie Brooker
5. "Hey Circe, how come your horoscope predictions are never that a hot girl is gonna fall madly in love with me forever and ever?""Uh, cause you're a dork Seth!" She taunted."Oh yeah," Seth said happily smiling at her. "That explains the devastating loneliness and constant abuse by alpha males…"
Author: Charlie Fey
6. "What if the preacher or father's saying ‘Someone here's lost and hopeless' was tantamount to those Sun-Times horoscopes that are specially designed to be so universally obvious that they always give their horoscope readers that special eerie feeling of particularity and insight, exploiting the psychological fact that most people are narcissistic and prone to the illusion that they and their problems are uniquely special and that if they're feeling a certain way then surely they're the only person who is feeling like that."
Author: David Foster Wallace
7. "He'd heard of this woman. The Dame de Doubtance, they called her: a madwoman and a caster of horoscopes. Gaultier gave her house-room and men and women came to her from all the known world and had their futures foretold—if she felt like it. She had given some help once to Lymond, on her own severe terms, because of a distant link, it was said, with his family. Plainly, a crazy old harridan. But if she was going to tell Lymond he ought to find a nice girl and marry her, Jerott wanted very much to be there."
Author: Dorothy Dunnett
8. "...his horoscope had been pretty misleading as well. It had mentioned an unusual amount of planetary activity in his sign and had urged him to differentiate between what he thought he wanted and what he actually needed, and suggested that he should tackle emotional or work problems with determination and complete honesty, but had inexplicably failed to mention that he would be dead before the day was out."
Author: Douglas Adams
9. "Whenever I am going through good phase, i don't give a damn about what my horoscope says."
Author: I Love The Way You Love Me
10. "I'm underrealized," Lula said. "I gotta lot of untapped potential. Yesterday my horoscope said I gotta expand my horizons." "You expand any more in that dress, and you'll get yourself arrested," Connie said. -- Twelve Sharp"
Author: Janet Evanovich
11. "The only chains God wants us to wear are the chains of righteousness--not the chains of hopeless subjectivism, not the shackles of risk-free living, not the fetters of horoscope decision making--just the chains befitting a bond servant of Christ Jesus. Die to self. Live for Christ. And then do what you want, and go where you want, for God's glory."
Author: Kevin DeYoung
12. "Harris loved to read and he shared everything he read. He read to whoever happened to be in the room from whatever paper he happened to be making his way through. Ann Landers and the horoscope, of course, headlines, cartoons, Miss Manners, Heloise, the lives of others, in many forms, long articles on astronomy or anthropology, political pieces, op-ed pieces, book reviews, church bazaars, executions, plane crashes, disco artists, whatever caught his interest."
Author: Lewis Nordan
13. "Don't go there Rule" Lawe warned him softly. " I don't think your horoscope declared today to be a good day to die."
Author: Lora Leigh
14. "Why do you haunt me? You, like a tattoo on my tongue, like the bay leaf at the bottom of every pan. You who sprawled out beside me and sang my horoscope to a Schubert symphony, something about travel and money again, and we lay there, both of our breaths bad, both of our underwear dangling elastic, and then you turned toward me with a gaze like two matches, putting the horoscope aside, you traced my buried ribs with your index finger, lingered at my collarbone, admiring it as one might a flying buttress, murmuring: Nice clavicle. And me, too new at it and scared, not knowing what to say, whispering: You should see my ten-speed."
Author: Lorrie Moore
15. "The sign seemed like her fortune, her horoscope, her Magic 8 Ball answer."
Author: Melissa Senate
16. "Successful long term relationships are all about power levels. A high power level male will attract and succeed with a high level power female.How do we define those power levels? We can't, they are inherently in us, and invisible to scientists, accountants, psychologists and spiritualists alike. None can explain the Universe in its entirety, and it is more than chemistry, biology, physics, genetics, horoscopes, religion, in-laws, fame, psychology and spirituality.We may be infatuated by a person, but as soon as we hold their hands, kiss their lips, and especially, make love or have sex with them, their power levels will be instantly exposed."
Author: Robert Black
17. "It's the way he had a cup of tea waiting for me when I woke up. It's the way he turned on his laptop especially for me to look up all my Internet horoscopes and helped me choose the best one. He knows all the crappy, embarrassing bits about me that I normally try to hide from any man for as long as possible… and he loves me anyway."
Author: Sophie Kinsella
18. "HOROSCOPE:Today is a good time for making new friends. A good deed may have unforeseen consequences. Don't upset any druids. You will soon be going on a very strange journey. Your lucky food is small cucumbers. People pointing knives at you are probably up to no good. PS, we really mean it about the druids."
Author: Terry Pratchett
19. "You are always born under the wrong sign, and to live in this world properly you have to rewrite your own horoscope day by day."
Author: Umberto Eco
20. "The total number of people who understand relativistic time, even after eighty years since the advent of special relativity, is still much smaller than the number of people who believe in horoscopes."
Author: Yuval Ne'eman

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There is a life and there is a death, and there are beauty and melancholy between."
Author: Albert Camus

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