Top Humor Quotes

Browse top 1034 famous quotes and sayings about Humor by most favorite authors.

Favorite Humor Quotes

1. "Humor (is) the process that allows one to brush reality aside when it gets too distressing."
Author: André Breton
2. "Life is not THAT serious..let's take humor more seriously !"
Author: Andrew Matthews
3. "The president of General Motors was in a foul humor."
Author: Arthur Hailey
4. "In sitcoms, the women are so beautiful, understanding and well-bred. They have humor, but sort of display it with a twinkle of the eye and not a guffaw. But there's no juice in that for me."
Author: Bea Arthur
5. "Impulsively, I threw up a new wall in my head. And suddenly I saw the situation for what it really was. Dante had me backed up against a tree, allright, but I did not want to make out with him."Demonstration finished," Dante said, his smile a bit too cocky for my liking."Next time choose a more appropriate demonstration," I said tensely. "Patch would kill you if he found out about this."His smile didn't fade. "That's a figure of speech that doesn't work very well with Nephilim."I wasn't in the mood for humor. "I know what you're doing. You're trying to set him off. This petty feud between the two of you will blow up to awhole new level if you mess with me. Patch is the last person you want to antagonize. He doesn't hold grudges, because the people who cross himtend to disappear quickly. And what you just did? That was crossing him."
Author: Becca Fitzpatrick
6. "I love British humor. It's just so - surreal."
Author: Beck
7. "My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious."
Author: Bill Burr
8. "El humor implica un cierto sentido de las proporciones y la capacidad de verse a uno mismo desde fuera.Escrutopo"
Author: C.S. Lewis
9. "Strangers when you meet, strangers when you part -a gymnasium of bodies namelessly masturbating each other. People with no morals often considered themselves more free, but mostly they lacked the ability to feel or to love. So they became swingers. The dead fucking the dead. There was no gamble or humor in their game -it was corpse fucking corpse. Morals were restrictive, but they were grounded on human experience down through the centuries. Some morals tended to keep people slaves in factories, in churches and true to the State. Other morals simply made good sense. It was like a garden filled with poisoned fruit and good fruit. You had to know which to pick and eat, which to leave alone."
Author: Charles Bukowski
10. "Your writing", she said to me, "it's so raw. It's like a sledgehammer, and yet it has humor and tenderness. . . ."
Author: Charles Bukowski
11. "You know, 'Jake 2.0' had some funny things in it; I mean, I needed my sense of humor to do that part."
Author: Christopher Gorham
12. "An individual deficient in the sense of humor represents more of a challenge to our idea of the human than a person of subnormal intelligence"
Author: Christopher Hitchens
13. "El humor, esa expresión irreductible de ética."
Author: Daniel Pennac
14. "David Levithan lives in the best of times and the worst of times, the age of wisdom and the age of foolishness, the epoch of belief and the epoch of incredulity, the season of Light, and the season of Darkness. He has endeavored in this Ghostly little book to raise the Ghost of an Idea which shall not put his readers out of humor with themselves, with each other, with the season, or with him. Whether he shall turn out to the be hero of his own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, time must show."
Author: David Levithan
15. "I don't really dissect comedy. Nothing kills off humor more than overanalyzing it."
Author: David Steinberg
16. "I like humor."
Author: David Yates
17. "Absolute seriousness is never without a dash of humor."
Author: Dietrich Bonhoeffer
18. "Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind."
Author: E.B. White
19. "Will watched her go with regret. His attraction to the dark-haired lady with her execrable embroidery had taken him by surprise. She'd been laughing at his brothers - that was what had done it. Her eyes had sparkled with humor, her smiling lips just begging for a kiss."
Author: Eve Edwards
20. "Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment."
Author: Grenville Kleiser
21. "I'm not that bad," he said. "I'm rich, popular. I have a sense of humor. I'm good looking, and not to mention I have a really big—"
Author: J.M. Darhower
22. "Gallows humor is part of having a doctor in the house. Deal with it."
Author: J.R. Ward
23. "I also believe my home state is cursed by ignorance and poverty and racism, much of it deliberately inculcated to control a vulnerable electorate. And I believe many of the politicians in Louisiana are among the most stomach-churning examples of white trash and venality I have ever known. To me, the fact that large numbers of people find them humorously picaresque is mind numbing, on a level with telling fond tales of one's rapist."
Author: James Lee Burke
24. "Mas o mau humor não seria antes uma irritação íntima em razão do sentimento de nossa própria insuficiência, um descontentamento em relação a nós mesmos, ao qual se junta sempre a inveja em razão de uma vaidade idiota? Quando vemos algumas pessoas felizes, sem que para isso tenhamos contribuído, essa felicidade nos é insuportável."
Author: Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
25. "My family has been amazing, and they understand how blessed I am. They've been able to keep my sense of humor."
Author: Karen Duffy
26. "Her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed as she ran through what i said. I loved how her lips twiched in humor and a blush touched her cheeks."
Author: Katie McGarry
27. "Guys usually like my sense of humor, and I am pretty down to earth. And I'm a driven person."
Author: Kreayshawn
28. "I'm interested not just in projects that I'll be starring in, but producing film and TV that's really quality and great for adults; and when I say 'great for adults,' it doesn't mean without humor, because I'm also interested in doing comedy."
Author: Lance Reddick
29. "And that must be Mr.Graves. My, aren't you the handsome one? If I had space free on my guards I might almost break the tradition and offer you a Trial challenge.""That's assuming I'd take it."[...]"Oh, Kir. Relax. Mr. Graves has a sarcastic sense of humor. It's something to apreciate in a man. Boy humor is so juvenile.""It wasn't sarcasm. It was pointiong out a fallacy in your logic, babe."Anna's jaw actually dropped."
Author: Lili St. Crow
30. "They didn't tell Miles what their destination was. He only knew they traveled south, and he'd as soon have done so on a mode of transportation other than the camel.The creatures bore heavy inanimate burdens calmly enough. But his showed a marked aversion to being ridden. The camel made insulting noises as Miles circled it, looking for a place to get on. The animal complained loudly and cursed him bitterly in camel language when he was finally seated. It snarled and growled and turned around to give him venomous looks. Then, as you'd expect, it flatly refused to obey him. When Miles tried to turn its head, it tried to bite his feet. When he snapped at the animal to behave, it promptly lay down. When at last the humor seized it to get up, it made sure to throw Miles back and forth violently in the process."
Author: Loretta Chase
31. "The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in heaven."
Author: Mark Twain
32. "Ka was the essence of teh person: spirit, intelligence, feelings and passions, humor, grudges, annoying television theme songs, all the things that make a person a person and not a nematode."
Author: Mary Roach
33. "Humor is just another defense against the universe."
Author: Mel Brooks
34. "L'humour ne sauve pas; l'humour ne sert en définitive à peu près à rien. On peut envisager les évènements de la vie avec humour pendant des années, parfois de très longues années, dans certains cas on peut adopter une attitude humoristique jusqu'à la fin; mais en définitive la vie vous brise le coeur. Quelles que soient les qualités de courage, de sang froid et d'humour qu'on a pu développer tout au long de sa vie, on finit toujours par avoir le coeur brisé. Alors on s'arrête de rire. Au bout du compte il n'y a plus que la solitude, le froid et le silence. Au bout du compte il n'y a plus que la mort."
Author: Michel Houellebecq
35. "Galen poked Eryx on the shoulder three times. "Brother, if you feed the cats, they'll keep coming back. Please. I beg you. Stop." Bill and Andy broke out in laughter. I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling at Galen's rude, yet humorous remark. Jean and Marie took half a turn and walked away."
Author: Nely Cab
36. "I warned you; I warned you I was the Senses Taker," sneered the Senses Taker. "I help people find what they're not looking for, hear what they're not listening for, run after what they're not chasing, and smell what isn't even there. And, furthermore," he cackled, hopping around gleefully on his stubby legs, "I'll steal your sense of purpose, take your sense of duty, destroy your sense of proportion — and, but for one thing, you'd be helpless yet.""What's that?" asked Milo fearfully."As long as you have the sound of laughter," he groaned unhappily, "I cannot take your sense of humor — and, with it, you've nothing to fear from me."
Author: Norton Juster
37. "The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance."
Author: Peter De Vries
38. "The cosmic humor is that if you desire to move mountains and you continue to purify yourself, ultimately you will arrive at the place where you are able to move mountains. But in order to arrive at this position of power you will have had to give up being he-who-wanted-to-move-mountains so that you can be he-who-put-the-mountain-there-in-the-first-place. The humor is that finally when you have the power to move the mountain, you are the person who placed it there--so there the mountain stays."
Author: Ram Dass
39. "She scanned the room, and her grin broadened when she saw Christian. She then sought me out. Her smile for him had been affectionate; mine was a bit humorous. I smiled back, wondering what she would say to me if she could."What's so funny?" asked Dimitri, looking down at me with amusement."I'm just thinking about what Lissa would say if we still had the bond."In a very bad breach of protocol, he caught hold of my hand and pulled me toward him. "And?" he asked, wrapping me in an embrace."I think she'd ask,'What have we gotten ourselves into?'""What's the answer?" His warmth was all around me, as was his love, and again, I felt completeness. I had that missing piece of my world back. The soul that complemented mine. My match. My equal. Not only that, I had my life back-my own life. I would protect Lissa, I would serve, but I was finally my own person."I don't know," I said, leaning against his chest. "But I think it's going to be good."
Author: Richelle Mead
40. "Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives."
Author: Robert Collier
41. "I don't know if my sense of humor goes over Americans' heads."
Author: Ryan Kwanten
42. "This is an ugly and mean world, and only to spite it we mustn't weep. If you want to know, this is the constant source of my good spirit, of my humor. Not to cry, out of spite, only to laugh out of spite, only to laugh."
Author: Sholem Aleichem
43. "Maybe the bar is low, but most of the strips that are 50, 60, 70 years old that are on their second or third generation of artists, the humor is pretty bland. There are others by people that were raised on 'Family Guy' or 'South Park' that are edgier. Mine's not as edgy as those, but it's edgier than 'Beetle Bailey.'"
Author: Stephan Pastis
44. "The script was just the best I'd read in a long time and I love the humor, which I wasn't expecting, and I like the fact that my six year old daughter can see the show without being, you know, protected from it."
Author: Stephen Collins
45. "Healing is not only a specific method, healing is also to invite another person into our own inner light, to invite another person into our presence, love, joy, acceptance, humor, understanding, playfulness, meditation and silence. Healing can also be a loving word, an understanding glance, a present touch, a silent listening or simply joking with another person and making him or her happy. Humor is also one of the strongest healing powers to see our situation and ourselves in a new and creative light."
Author: Swami Dhyan Giten
46. "At NBC I wasn't really sure if the grandparents were going to get my sense of humor on a particular topic."
Author: Tabitha Soren
47. "The Catholic wisdom of the people... provides reasons for joy and humor even in the midst of a very hard life."
Author: The Catholic Church
48. "(Hadley and Mary in the Garden at Blanchard House)He laughed, a harsh sound, all sign of humor leaving his eyes. "Don't let any of it fool you, my dear, for even the most tarnished silver can acquire a fine and gleaming polish. And believe me, there is far more tarnish here than an innocent and unschooled eye such as yours can discern.""Why would you speak so of yourself?" Mary protested.He reached for a red-gold curl that had escaped her lace cap and coiled it around his !nger. "I would forewarn you, Miss Edwardes that I am a man, and men in general are not to be trusted…" He held her gaze as he slowly released the ringlet, allowing his fingers to skim her cheek. "…especially not by pretty young virgins."
Author: Victoria Vane
49. "I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation."
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
50. "Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society."
Author: William Makepeace Thackeray

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Minnesota! It smelled like raspberries and sunlight and tender grass. It was summer, and everything was more beautiful than any picture she had carried with her."
Author: Ann Patchett

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