Top Humour Quotes

Browse top 230 famous quotes and sayings about Humour by most favorite authors.

Favorite Humour Quotes

1. "I like to always have humour in whatever I do."
Author: Adam Brody
2. "All I've ever tried to do is get the best out of people and to bring a bit of humour into it. Unlike, say, 'The X-Factor,' which may be great TV, but has no humour at all."
Author: Andrew Lloyd Webber
3. "WILLMORE: Nay, if we part so, let me die like a Bird upon a Bough, at the Sheriff's Charge. By Heaven, both the Indies shall not buy thee from me. I adore thy Humour and will marry thee, and we are so of one Humour, it must be a Bargain - give me thy Hand - [Kisses her hand.] And now let the blind ones (Love and Fortune) do their worst."
Author: Aphra Behn
4. "I was tempted to tell her it was because we were British and actually had a sense of humour, but I try not to be cruel to foreigners, especially when they're that strung out."
Author: Ben Aaronovitch
5. "One of my great regrets, and I don't have many, is that I spent too long putting people's status and reputation ahead of their more important qualities. I learned far too late in life that a long list of letters after someone's name is no guarantee of compassion, kindness, humour, all the far more relevant stuff."
Author: Bill Nighy
6. "There's so much light in Broughty Ferry. I think the humour in Glasgow is darker, because it's much more gloomy, there's a perpetual misery there."
Author: Brian Cox
7. "My father had a good sense of humour about a lot of things, including life, which I think I inherited."
Author: Brian Dennehy
8. "It's my diary", she'd explained. "Every mark I've had drawn on my skin connects me to where and who I've been- so I never forget who I am and how I got here."There was humour in the smile she offered him. "And you know what the real beauty of it is?" Hank had shaken his head. "Nobody can take it away."
Author: Charles De Lint
9. "It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour."
Author: Charles Dickens
10. "I am in a ridiculous humour,' quoth Eugene; 'I am a ridiculous fellow. Everything is ridiculous. Come along!"
Author: Charles Dickens
11. "What such people miscall their religion, is a vent for their bad humours and arrogance."
Author: Charles Dickens
12. "Since I was 12 or 13, I have been taking movie meetings finding a project right for me because I wanted to try it. Craig gave us the script - it was set in Wales, it is really British humour. I just loved it."
Author: Charlotte Church
13. "...there was less of the peevish temper of a child which frets and teases on purpose to be soothed, and more of the self-absorbed moroseness of a confirmed invalid, repelling consolation, and ready to regard the good-humoured mirth of others, as an insult."
Author: Emily Brontë
14. "I like men with quick wit, good conversation and a great sense of humour. I love banter. I want a man to like me for me - I want him to be authentic."
Author: Emma Watson
15. "At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted."
Author: Eric Idle
16. "The solitary speaks."One receives as a reward for much ennui , ill-humour and boredom, such as a solitude without friends, books, duties or passions must entail, one harvests those quarters of an hour of the deepest immersion in oneself and nature. He who completely entrenches himself against boredom also entrenches himself against himself: he will never get to drink the most potent refreshing draught from the deepest well of his own being."
Author: Friedrich Nietzsche
17. "To the man of science, on his unassuming and laborious travels, which must often enough be journeys through the desert, there appear those glittering mirages called 'philosophical systems'; with bewitching deceptive power they show the solution of all enigmas and the freshest draught of the true water of life to be near at hand; his heart rejoices, and it seems to the weary traveller that his lips already touch the goal of all the perseverance and sorrows of the scientific life... Other natures again, may well grow exceedingly ill-humoured and curse the salty taste which these apparitions leave behind in the mouth and from which arises a raging thirst – without one having been brought so much as a step nearer to any kind of spring."
Author: Friedrich Nietzsche
18. "Or rather, it made him into two people. He was by nature a cheerful almost irrepressible person with a great zest for life. He loved good talk and physical activity. He had a deep sense of humour and a great capacity for making friends. But from now onwards there was to be a second side, more private but predominant in his diaries and letters. This side of him was capable of bouts of profound despair. More precisely, and more closely related to his mother's death, when he was in this mood he had a deep sense of impending loss. Nothing was safe. Nothing would last. No battle would be won for ever."
Author: Humphrey Carpenter
19. "But Elizabeth was not formed for ill-humour; and though every prospect of her own was destroyed for the evening, it could not dwell long on her spirits; and having told all her griefs to Charlotte Lucas, whom she had not seen for a week, she was soon able to make a voluntary transition to the oddities of her cousin, and to point him out to her particular notice. The first two dances, however, brought a return of distress; they were dances of mortification. Mr. Collins, awkward"
Author: Jane Austen
20. "I shall be sure to say three dull things as soon as ever I open my mouth, shan't I? (looking round with the most good-humoured dependence on every body's assent)— Do not you all think I shall?" Emma could not resist. "Ah! ma'am, but there may be a difficulty. Pardon me— but you will be limited as to number—only three at once."
Author: Jane Austen
21. "Oh! very well," exclaimed Miss Bates, "then I need not be uneasy. 'Three things very dull indeed.' That will just do for me, you know. I shall be sure to say three dull things as soon as ever I open my mouth, shan't I?—(looking round with the most good-humoured dependence on every body's assent)—Do not you all think I shall?"Emma could not resist."Ah! ma'am, but there may be a difficulty. Pardon me—but you will be limited as to number—only three at once."Miss Bates, deceived by the mock ceremony of her manner, did not immediately catch her meaning; but, when it burst on her, it could not anger, though a slight blush shewed that it could pain her."
Author: Jane Austen
22. "Good-humoured, unaffected girls, will not do for a man who has been used to sensible women. They are two distinct orders of being."
Author: Jane Austen
23. "It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language"
Author: Jane Austen
24. "Following Jesse's wonderful advice I will have to change my quote to:If have a sense of humour, you'll love my books; if you don't have a sense of humour, please read my books nonetheless--no matter what you have please just read my books."
Author: Jayde Scott
25. "As a bandleader, I try to pass on the same family values that I grew up with: help people, hang on to your sense of humour, be tolerant, and keep your judgments to yourself."
Author: Jools Holland
26. "With humour, there is life."
Author: JR
27. "It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour."
Author: Keenen Ivory Wayans
28. "But I've had floating heads for slaves,' Zayne answered.'Their choice to look like that. Some do it for the humour, but it soon wears off.' Penteluck explained. 'Suddenly they realize they can't pick things up and throw them with just a head, and the other spirits usually use floating heads as footballs anyway."
Author: Keisha Keenleyside
29. "Do you actually state what a pain in the ass I am in these songs?""Not those words exactly. No." He chuckled, his good humour returned. "You don't want me to lie and say everything's always fucking unicorns and rainbows, do you?" "Maybe. Yes. People are going to know these are about me. I have a reputation as a constant delight to protect."
Author: Kylie Scott
30. "When I was in film school, it was said that all good films were characterised by some form of humour."
Author: Lars Von Trier
31. "You could say that when you introduce humour to your work, you also step back a little from it. You create a distance."
Author: Lars Von Trier
32. "I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me; had they duly considered how much depended upon what they were then doing; that not only the production of a rational Being was concerned in it, but that possibly the happy formation and temperature of his body, perhaps his genius and the very cast of his mind;?and, for aught they knew to the contrary, even the fortunes of his whole house might take their turn from the humours and dispositions which were then uppermost: Had they duly weighed and considered all this, and proceeded accordingly, I am verily persuaded I should have made a quite different figure in the world, from that, in which the reader is likely to see me."
Author: Laurence Sterne
33. "But you must still know to respect other people's faith.''Why? We don't respect any other delusion. We lock up people who believe they're Christ, yet we're supposed to humour those who believe in him.''By definition, faith is irrational: a belief you hold against the normal rules of evidence.''In which case I believe in Jedi"
Author: Michael Arditti
34. "I'm just an actor. If it's drama, I add as much humour as the part will stand. And if it's a comedy, add as much drama as you can, so it balances out; you don't wanna be too serious."
Author: Michael Pena
35. "I have no other passion to keep me in breath. What avarice, ambition, quarrels, law suits do for others who, like me, have no particular vocation, love would much more commodiously do; it would restore to me vigilance, sobriety, grace, and the care of my person; it would reassure my countenance, so that the grimaces of old age, those deformed and dismal looks, might not come to disgrace it; would again put me upon sound and wise studies, by which I might render myself more loved and esteemed, clearing my mind of the despair of itself and of its use, and redintegrating it to itself; would divert me from a thousand troublesome thoughts, a thousand melancholic humours that idleness and the ill posture of our health loads us withal at such an age; would warm again, in dreams at least, the blood that nature is abandoning; would hold up the chin, and a little stretch out the nerves, the vigour and gaiety of life of that poor man who is going full drive towards his ruin."
Author: Michel De Montaigne
36. "My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad."
Author: Norman Wisdom
37. "I have a robust sense of humour which helps me deal with problems."
Author: Peter Mayle
38. "I personally feel that, for some people, their physique and looks work for them. And when you're deprived of both these aspects, you rely on humour!"
Author: Riteish Deshmukh
39. "He was in that humour when a man will cut off his nose to spite his face"
Author: Robert Louis Stevenson
40. "There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable."
Author: Rufus Wainwright
41. "'Downton' is one of the best jobs in the world, and I'm looking forward to the next series for Maggie Smith's wicked sense of humour."
Author: Samantha Bond
42. "I always have humour in my action movies. I think characters that make jokes under fire are more real. It somehow helps put you in their shoes."
Author: Shane Black
43. "The world rides through space on the back of a turtle. This is one of the great ancient world myths, found wherever men and turtles were gathered together; the four elephants were an Indo-European sophistication. The idea has been lying in the lumber rooms of legend for centuries. All I had to do was grab it and run away before the alarms went off.There are no maps. You can't map a sense of humour. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs."
Author: Terry Pratchett
44. "At home I've got a very puerile, juvenile sense of humour."
Author: Thom Yorke
45. "But my way of writing is rather to think aloud, and follow my own humours, than much to consider who is listening to me; and, if I stop to consider what is proper to be said to this or that person, I shall soon come to doubt whether any part at all is proper."
Author: Thomas De Quincey
46. "Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great Leg Pull. Apollo has the best claim, but a sizeable minority support Pluto, ex-God of the Dead, on the grounds that he has a really sick sense of humour.How would it be, suggested the unidentified god, if first we tell them all to love their neighbour, pack in the killing and thieving, and be nice to each other. Then we let them start burning heretics."
Author: Tom Holt
47. "Relationship humour gets the most laughs. If I'm able to get the women laughing, men will have to laugh along because they would be scared to death."
Author: Vir Das
48. "When a woman wants me to do anything (my daughter, or not, it doesn't matter), I always insist on knowing why. The oftener you make them rummage their own minds for a reason, the more manageable you will find them in all the relations of life. It isn't their fault (poor wretches!) that they act first and think afterwards; it's the fault of the fools who humour them."
Author: Wilkie Collins
49. "He began to feel that she was very lonely indeed. "If he'd been here," she said, "those cowards would never have dared to insult me." She thought about "him" with great sadness and perhaps longing--about his honest, stupid, constant kindness and fidelity; his never-ceasing obedience; his good humour; his bravery and courage. Very likely she cried, for she was particularly lively, and had put on a little extra rouge, when she came down to dinner."
Author: William Makepeace Thackeray
50. "Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none. Beatrice: A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me. -Much Ado About Nothing"
Author: William Shakespeare

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One of the delights known to age, and beyond the grasp of youth, is that of Not Going."
Author: Anthony Burgess

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