Top Jerk Quotes

Browse top 546 famous quotes and sayings about Jerk by most favorite authors.

Favorite Jerk Quotes

1. "But Rachel, every time you hurt, I hurt. Particularly, when I'm the cause of it. I've been aninsensitive jerk. But I need you to know that you are all I can think about. That you give me freakingbutterflies in my stomach. That when we're together I feel like...""Cloud walking." Rachel grinned."
Author: A. Meredith Walters
2. "And even though I know he's a jerk,and I know all that he's gonna do is hurt me,I still love him.I still want him,and I hate myself for it."
Author: Alice
3. "I hope you were going to come pry your sister off my back," Paca clips as Rayna swims up. "She's quite rude."Galen throws Rayna a look, to which she lifts her chin. "Paca and her pudgy father over there are full of whale dung," Rayna informs her brothers."Rayna," Grom barks. "Mind your manners."Rayna lifts her chin even higher. Here we go. "Paca is a fraud, Grom," she says. "You can't mate with her. Sorry to ruin your ceremony. Let's go, Galen."Paca gasps as Jagen swims up to the party, almost stuttering in his fury. "You little...little stonefish! How dare you insult my daughter?"Galen grabs Rayna's arm. "What did you do?" he hisses.She jerks her arm away and gives him a superior look. "If Paca has the Gift of Poseidon, I have the Gift of Triton. Don't ask me what it is though, because I don't have a clue.""Rayna, enough!" Grom says, grabbing her other arm. "Apologize. Right now.""Apologize for what? Telling the truth? Sorry, not feeling it."
Author: Anna Banks
4. "Writers are funny about reviews: when they get a good one they ignore it-- but when they get a bad review they never forget it. Every writer I know is the same way: you get a hundred good reviews, and one bad, andyou remember only the bad. For years, you go on and fantasize about the reviewer who didn't like your book; you imagine him as a jerk, a wife-beater, a real ogre. And, in the meantime, the reviewer has forgotten all about the whole thing. But, twenty years later, the writer still remembers that one bad review."
Author: Art Buchwald
5. "I don't know the kind of person I'll be tomorrow, but I'll be able to look back on yesterday and ask "What was that guy's problem?" The future is full of condescending jerks."
Author: Bauvard
6. "Only downside to your place is the disturbing low amount of extraneous toiletries. No conditioner? Lip gloss? Sunscreen?" I jerked my thumb toward the front door. "I need to brush my teeth. And I need a shower."He grinned, hopping off the bike. "Now that is an invitation."
Author: Becca Fitzpatrick
7. "It wasn't the fact that she texted about hooking up with someone. What terrified me was my knee-jerk reaction. I wanted to throw my phone against the wall and smash it into a million pieces, then throw her against the wall and show her all the ways I could ensure that she never thinks about another man again."
Author: Colleen Hoover
8. "I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk."
Author: Criss Jami
9. "I will never grow thick skin so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me."
Author: Dan Pearce
10. "Livia watched the man turn bright red. She heard Blake's words in her mind, You're not invisible to them.Well, screw them. That was the best kiss of my life, and these jerks were lucky to witness it."
Author: Debra Anastasia
11. "Carelessness, when it's continual, is as bad as intentional jerkiness."
Author: Elizabeth Chandler
12. "What about the jerks who think good oral sex consists of sucking your clit so hard it feels like you're stuck to a vacuum cleaner? You're there, squirming, about to pass out from agony, slapping at him and yanking his hair to get him to stop, and what does the moron do? Thinks you're coming, redoubles his efforts, and obnoxiously grins at you."
Author: Elle Aycart
13. "No. The two kinds of fools we have in Russia," karkov grinned and began. "First there is the winter fool. The winter fool comes to the door of your house and he knocks loudly. You go to the door and you see him there and you have never seen him before. He is an impressive sight. He is a very big man and he has on high boots and a fur coat and a fur hat and he is all covered with snow. First he stamps his boots and snow falls from them. Then he takes off his fur coat and shakes it and more snow falls from them, Then he takes off his fur hat and knocks it against the door. More snow falls from his fur hat. Then he stamps his boots again and advances into the room. Then you look at him and you see he is a fool. That is the winter fool.""Now in the summer you see a fool going down the street and he is waving his arms and jerking his head from side to side and everybody from two hundred yards away can tell he is a fool. that is a summer fool. This economist is a winter fool."
Author: Ernest Hemingway
14. "Come on, who saw what happened?""I did," I volenteered."Well?""Buttwipe wanted to know what jerkface was looking at." I turned turned eyes on the bloody and dirt-smeared brawlers. "You were barely 3-inches apart. Couldn't you see that you were both looking at each other?"The teacher's face reddened. "Who do you think you are? Jerry Seinfeld?""You must be confused with another student," I told him. "My name is Capricorn Anderson."
Author: Gordon Korman
15. "Hemingway was a jerk."
Author: Harold Robbins
16. "Occasionally, family members may reach a point in which they cannot tolerate the odd behavior of the schizophrenic any longer. Often, this leads them to seek help. Other times, it causes said family member to walk away, like the complete raving jerk that she is."
Author: Holly Schindler
17. "You don't train a dog in a training hall, jerking his neck or even giving him food treats. You train him using life rewards."
Author: Ian Dunbar
18. "Torch strode over and stared at the fiver"What's this?""Some change for you. Buy your flunkies some decent clothes." I dipped my fingers into the jar and smeared think fragrant paste on my face. Torch frowned, mirroring the expression on my aunt's face."Change?"Oh, for crying out loud. "It's money. We don't use coins as currency now, we use paper money." He stared at me. "I'm insulting you! I'm saying your poor, like a beggar, because your undead are in rags. I'm offering to clothe your servants for you, because you can't provide for them. Come on, how thick do you have to be?"He jerked his hand up. A jet of flame erupted from his fingers, sliding against the ward. I jerked back from the windows on instinct. The fire died. I leaned forward. "Do you understand now?" More fire. "What's the matter? Was that not enough money?"
Author: Ilona Andrews
19. "The Oracle rose. As one, the three witches bowed."See?" Bran jerked his thumb at the three women. "That's how a woman should treat a man. Next time you see me, I want you to do just like them."
Author: Ilona Andrews
20. "A hard pain it Munro's spine as it lurched into an awkward curve, arching his back off the surface where he lay. Muscles contracted, jerking and releasing, jerking and releasing. The calm voices grew insistent and frenzied, but in a controlled, orchestrated way."
Author: India Drummond
21. "V jerked back to the present. And for some reason didn't lie. "I'm thinking about my tattoos.""When did you get them?" "Almost three centuries ago." She whistled. "God, you live that long?" "Longer. Assuming I don't get cracked dead in a fight and you fool humans don't blow up the planet, I'll be breathing for another seven hundred years."
Author: J.R. Ward
22. "He had been suddenly jerked from the heart of civilization and flung into the heart of things primordial."
Author: Jack London
23. "A slow, wry smile teased Daemon's lips. "Simmer down, Kitten, before I have to get you a ball of yarn to play with."Annoyance flared deep inside me. "Don't start with me, jerk-face."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
24. "You jerk."Grinning, he backed down the steps. "I'll see you at noon, Kitten.""I hate you," I hissed. "The feeling's mutual." He glanced over his shoulder. "Twenty bucks says you wear a once-piece swimsuit."He was insufferable."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
25. "It's tough being an actor making music, because even I have a knee-jerk reaction to that."
Author: John Hawkes
26. "....And then you get some jerk for a boss. And you think, 'I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome. He wouldn't care about my sales sheet. He would care about my soul sheet.' Then you feel a little embarrassed because that was such a low-quality joke."
Author: Jon Acuff
27. "I'm not sure if you would consider this a dream or a memory, because it actually happened, but when I fall asleep I see the room in which I mourned the death of my son. For those of you who were there, you will remember how we sat without speaking, easting only as much as we had to. You will remember when a bird crashed through the window and fell to the floor. You will remember, those of you who were there, how it jerked it's wings before dying, and left a spot of blood on the floor after it was removed. But who among you was the first to notice the negative bird it left in the window? Who first saw the shadow that the bird left behind, the shadow that drew blood from any finger that dared to race it, the shadow that was better proof of the bird's existence than the bird ever was? Who was with me when I mourned the death of my son, when I excused myself to bury that bird with my own hands?"
Author: Jonathan Safran Foer
28. "Nowhere does it say free speech is carte blanche to be a jerk. And don't cheapen real free speech by hijacking an honourable concept bought dearly with people's lives just to get a little spotlight. Spotlights run hot, and they can burn."
Author: Karen Traviss
29. "Can I tell you what I want? I want to stop wanting things I can't have. I want to stop falling for jerks I don't need. And I want to stop feeling like an f/ing gooey butter cake somebody left out in the rain."
Author: Kate Klise
30. "Is he bothering you?" "Nah just some old pervert waiting for the sex show."The ghost lips curled "If I was alive I'd teach you some manners First I'd-""I'm sure there are losts of thing you'd do to me if you were alive, but seeing as though your're not, I guess you're stuck watching..." (makes a jerk-off gesture)"
Author: Kelley Armstrong
31. "A Christian jerk is still a jerk."
Author: Kevin Roose
32. "I jerked to a stop at the door to my room. "What's wrong with my boots?" I said, thinking they were the only thing that I was going to keep on. Ah…the only thing from this outfit, not the only thing total."
Author: Kim Harrison
33. "He darted a guilty look toward his dad. "Will you—get me a bottle of spicy?" My eyes jerked to his. "Maybe some barbecue sauce?" I closed my mouth before a bug flew into it. "Sure." I did not believe this. I was pimping ketchup to the son of the FIB's captain."
Author: Kim Harrison
34. "Jay sat down across from Chelsea and took both of her hands in his. The oversized lunchroom was buzzing with activity, and he practically had to yell to be heard."Chelsea, for the love of everything good and holy, please ... please stop ruining my friend."Violet bit her lip to stop from laughing at the two of them. She knew what he was talking about before he even explained. It was the new facial hair.Chelsea jerked her hands out of his. "Oh, relax, drama queen. He's not broken. Besides, I'm gonna fix him this weekend."Jay seemed relieved."
Author: Kimberly Derting
35. "I'll be a perfect gentleman. Just clit-sucking and jerking off, no funny business."
Author: Kit Rocha
36. "...It's not okay." He spoke jerkily, painfully. "I will hurt you, and I will leave you, and I will cheat on you."
Author: Kitty French
37. "I leaned against Brent, resting my forehead against his cheek, but jerked back. "Brent you're hot."Brent grinned lazily and puffed up his chest. "Thank you. It's a burden I must bear."
Author: Lani Woodland
38. "He lifted the arm covering his eyes and turned his head to glare at her. "I knew you were trouble the first time I saw you.""What do you mean, trouble?" She sat up, glaring back at him. "I am not trouble! I'm a very nice person except when I have to deal with jerks!""You're the worst kind of trouble," he snapped. "You're marrying trouble."
Author: Linda Howard
39. "Sean settles swiftly behind me, and I'm startled by the sudden closeness of him, my back suddenly warm against his chest, the press of his hips on against me. i turn to ask him a question, and he jerks his face away from the proximity of mine. I say, "Oh. Sorry."
Author: Maggie Stiefvater
40. "Even sex was no longer what it had once been, though he was still as addicted to it as ever. He felt jerked around by his own dick, as if the rest of him was merely an inconsequential knob that happened to be attached to one end of it. Maybe the thing would be happier if left to roam around on its own."
Author: Margaret Atwood
41. "Shuddering Tanis stepped back. Raistlin gave the drawstring on the top of the bag a quick jerk, snapping it shut. Then, glancing at them distrustfully, he slipped the bag within his robes, secreting it in one of his numerous hidden pockets, and begun to turn away. But Tanis stopped him."Things can never again be the same between us, can they?" the half-elf asked quietly.Raistlin looked at him for a moment, and Tanis saw a brief flicker of regret in the young mage's eyes, a longing for trust and friendship and return to the days of youth."No," Raistilin whispered. "But such was the price I paid."
Author: Margaret Weis
42. "For Russian Jews, Zionism was an immediate solution to age-old problems."Anywhere is better than Russia," Karl agreed, "but for Western Jews, Zionism is a trap, I think. Once Jews are permitted a territorial center, it will be too easy to drive the rest of us from every other nation on Earth. ‘Go back where you belong!' " he cried dismissively, jerking his thumb toward Palestine. " ‘Oh, by the way, leave all your possessions behind.' "... But I have no need of some artificial homeland invented by the British. I am not a German Jew, Agnes, but a Jewish German."
Author: Mary Doria Russell
43. "People think: 'If this photographer's looking like a big jerk-off, maybe it's okay if I do.' I like to catch my subjects off balance a bit."
Author: Mick Rock
44. "Kammy jerked upright. It was as though the trees had parted beneath the pressure of the storm and a bolt of lightning had struck her. She had never entered the mouth for it had always been much too small. Yet, she had never seen anything else enter it either. The thought alone made her feel sick with excitement and fear. A small voice told Kammy that such a reaction was ridiculous, it was just a squirrel. But warmth spread to the tips of Kammy's fingers as they stretched forward. She could see now that it was not a burrow at all, but a tunnel large enough for her to fit through. She was quite sure that she would not even have to bend her head. The same small voice tried to speak again but Kammy could not hear it through the rush of blood in her ears.Kammy stepped inside the mouth of the forest and felt herself flipped upside down."
Author: Natalie Crown
45. "Strigoi or not, I didn't trust him. He was a jerk, and I silently screamed at Lissa to get out of there, not that my screaming did much good. Stupid one-way bond."
Author: Richelle Mead
46. "I gave her a smile that I hoped conveyed something like: Hey, you know I'm on your side. Gods are such jerks! But what can you do?Probably my expression actually conveyed: It's not my fault! Please do not kill me!"
Author: Rick Riordan
47. "But when I took up my pen, my hand made big, jerky letters like those of a child, and the lines sloped down the page from left to right horizontally, as if they were loops of string lying on the paper, and someone had come along and blown them askew."
Author: Sylvia Plath
48. "So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: "Is this person in between me and what I want to do?" If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you're in charge, don't hire the people who were jerky to you."
Author: Tina Fey
49. "My Father Still Sleeping After SurgeryIn spite of himself,my father loved me. In spiteof the hands that beat me, in spiteof the mouth that kept silent, in spiteof the face that turned cruelas a gold Chinese king,he could not control the lovethat came out of him.The body is monumental, a colossusthrough which he breathes.His hands crawl over his stomachjerkily as sand crabs on five legs;he makes a fistlike the fist of a newborn."
Author: Toi Derricotte
50. "Talk radio around Boston is brutal, and I think that's part of what goes on is that people as they're driving to and from work start listening to these jerks, and I say jerks, because I don't think they know what they're talking about and they're just serving some things up as controversy so they can sell the show to sponsors."
Author: Tom Heinsohn

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We make films that we ourselves would want to see and then hope that other people would want to see it. If you try to analyze audiences or think there's some sophisticated recipe for success, then I think you are doomed. You're making it too complicated."
Author: Brad Bird

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