Top Lube Quotes

Browse top 21 famous quotes and sayings about Lube by most favorite authors.

Favorite Lube Quotes

1. "Yeah, well there's your first problem. You don't get it. You can't even see what you did. You're going to sit here today and you're going to convince yourself that you were right and I was unreasonable and you won't even think about what you just tried to make me into. But hey....It's not my problem, now. You think what you want. I'm gone."He sighed and reached for my suitcase. "Will you at least let me help you down the stairs?""Fuck off." I'd rather break my neck than let him give me a second of assistance."Topher, come on!" Now he sounded annoyed and seriously, fuck him, he didn't get to be pissy over this. I turned around and gave him a withering look."Be sure you clear the lube out of the bedside table before you bang your wife in that room. It's a dead giveaway."
Author: Amelia C. Gormley
2. "The Brit's face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It's a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that looks like a rat's been gnawing on it. His beard looks like a white sneeze. The teeth are jagged and out of alignment, having opened quarts at Jiffy Quick Lube for half a decade."
Author: Brett Tate
3. "Varljivo je brdo Život, nema šta... I veruci se Uz i silazeci Niz patimo za predelima s one strane vrha, a vrh je senka, tren, senka trena, Vrh je najveca prevara u citavoj prici...Cim ga dotaknemo on potone tromo, kao lubenica na vodi, i vec sledeceg trena izroni nam za ledima, obeshrabrujuce uzvodno, plutajuci kao velika crna bova koja iz nekih zvezdanih razloga obeležava to razvede Vremena Koje Nam Je Dato, vremena koje nam je udeljeno, ubogima, kao milostinja pred Crkvom Beskonacnog...Danas je uveliko išcekuješ, a vec sutra ti ostaje samo da se secaš, i tek na kraju ukapiraš da su Prave Stvari uvek s one strane brda, ali ovu misao ipak ne smem pripisati sebi...Zvuci suviše poznato?Neki voštani mandarin iz treceg milenijuma pre nove ere je sigurno još davno patentirao slicnu izreku"
Author: Ðorde Balaševic
4. "As members of my cabinet," Alyss calmly explained, "you share in the responsibilty of ensuring a safe furture for Wonderland. I'm sure the four of you will agree that we're in a crisis and that trying times bring out the best in you. What queen wouldn't want such helpful cabinet members by her side in an hour of need? Forgive me for calling you here. I was thinking only of myself and others when I did it. But for the love of your rank if nothing else, advise me. How do you think we should conter this invasion?"Uh," said the Lady of Clubes.I know exactly how we should counter it! said her husband. "First and foremost, a decree must be at once...decreed! All ranking families are to remain indoors and well-protected until it can be guaranteed that every threat is violence is past! It's imperative that nothing inconvenient happen to us, for the population would then have no one to look up to!"
Author: Frank Beddor
5. "Did I use enough lube last night?"I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes with blushingcheeks. "Don't…don't call it that.""What? Lube?" he asked. I nodded and covered my mouth with myhand. He chuckled and smirked. "All right, did I use enough stuff lastnight?""Mm-hmm."
Author: J.M. Colail
6. "Tell me you spotted a condom tree over to the right by the stream of lube."
Author: Jane Davitt
7. "I can play the trumpet, but only if I have a sufficient quantity of anal lube."
Author: Jarod Kintz
8. "Love is like trying to wrestle an albino. It's tough because they're slippery and all lubed up with sunscreen."
Author: Jarod Kintz
9. "Let love find you. Don't go looking for it. The best way to attract a mate is to post an ad on Craigslist titled, "Have lube, will travel."
Author: Jarod Kintz
10. "A psycho murderer who lubed. How considerate."
Author: Jordan Castillo Price
11. "Y'look like someone told you they'd stopped making lube."
Author: K.A. Mitchell
12. "Grab the lube, 'cause you are so going for the Fucking God button."
Author: K.D. Sarge
13. "Arik didn't know how long he'd been in hell. Time was one never-ending, no-lube f&*k when you were in the dark and in agony."
Author: Larissa Ione
14. "While Hannah was busy positioning the laptop and shimmying out of her shorts and a thong, I pushed off my boxers and squirted lube into my palm. I glanced at my cock. It stood stiffly from me, nine thick, smooth inches for which I didn't thank God often enough."
Author: M. Pierce
15. "Ty burst out laughing when he saw it. "Is that a travel pack of lube? I didn't even know they made those."Zane grinned. "Where the hell have you been buying your lube?"
Author: Madeleine Urban
16. "Oh God! You asked Jared for lube?""Yeah. Why not?""It just seems weird."He shook his head at me and smiled. "When we first met, I thought you were an uptight prep.""And now?""Now I know you're an uptight prep." He pressed closer. "Cute, though.""I though you were a punk.""And now?""I think you're amazing.""Zach?""Yeah?""Shut up a d kiss me."
Author: Marie Sexton
17. "You think he has some bomb defusing MacGyver contraption cooked up that involves lube, condoms, and a paper clip?"
Author: Stephani Hecht
18. "I struggled not to laugh at the brand-new bottle of lube in his left hand and the unopened box of condoms in his right. He watched me, his expression dark."Just buy those?" I asked lightly.He nodded once."Had it all worked out in your mind, did you?"He nodded again."Have you ever fucked a man, Seven?"He shook his head, his right hand squishing the box of condoms as he tightened his grip."And… this is what you want?" I looked at his face then, watching for any signs of doubt. There were none as he nodded again.I opened my arms. "Come here," I said softly."
Author: T.J. Klune
19. "...en route to the final destination, which was always to get trashed, wasted, hammered, crunked up, bombed, wrecked, sloshed, fried, flapjacked, fucked-up, or get plainlong fucked, laid, drained, get some ass, get some head, some skull, a lube job, get your oil changed, get some brown sugar, quiff, goo, pussy..."
Author: Tom Wolfe
20. "Por que é que estranhas tanto que um deputado deixe o partido e vá ser deputado para outro lado? O jogador de futebol também muda de clube."
Author: Vergílio Ferreira
21. "Dear Lord," began Randy, who paused for long enough that Tristan sneaked an eye open to look at him. His saw his mother's cheek twitch with what he thought might be apprehension. "We are so grateful to be gathered here today with our family, and the family of our brother's homosexual boyfriend, and our new little goth friend who has a gay dad, whatever the heck that is all about. We'd like to say we're grateful this year for condoms, lube, and Ellen Degeneres, and for those guys on Queer Eye…"Randall Evan Phillips!" his mother shouted."
Author: Z.A. Maxfield

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Author: Brenda Fassie

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