Top Midget Quotes

Browse top 62 famous quotes and sayings about Midget by most favorite authors.

Favorite Midget Quotes

1. "I wanted to have premarital sex with a midget, but I was afraid the ringmaster would banish me for unlawful carnival knowledge."
Author: Bauvard
2. "Next to fat babies, midgets are my favorite things to hold. I love them so much, and I want to help them to do adult things like drive cars, Jet-Ski, and lip-synch. I'm in awe of their little limbs, their large craniums, and their medicine-ball asses. I love the little baby steps they take while shifting their weight from side to side, and the fact that when you knock one over accidentally, he flails like a turtle on its back that can't get up right away."
Author: Chelsea Handler
3. "He checks the horns. They're small: not truncated like Hellboy's, but wee, budding, trainer-bra efforts. Definitely not the thing that killed Dazza. In demon terms, he's looking at a midget or a waen. He recalls the ten second rule, and though they only clashed for a moment, it was more than enough. He understands. He has the measure. There is no paralysis by fear. There will be no subconscious surrender to superior mental force and aggression. In short, he can take this cunt."
Author: Christopher Brookmyre
4. "Blobfish, the guy who snapped a hamsters neck, myself, the homeless guy who has never thrown a punch (but has killed a fox) and Dickface, the man obsessed with trees and touching himself in public, follow an arrogant midget into the home of a pale creature I am certain will kill us all, to save the life of an ungrateful bastard parrot called Madness.The temperature drops further.A cold night for heroes."
Author: Craig Stone
5. "According to Thomas, the city [of Bath] had once been a veritable hotbed of manifestations, with every sorcerer, bunyip, golem, goblin, pict, pixie, demon, thylacine, gorgon, moron, cult, scum, mummy, rummy, groke, sphinx, minx, muse, flagellant, diva, reaver, weaver, reaper, scabbarder, scabmettler, dwarf, midget, little person, leprechaun, marshwiggle, totem, soothsayer, truthsayer, hatter, hattifattener, imp, panwere, mothman, shaman, flukeman, warlock, morlock, poltergeist, zeitgeist, elemental, banshee, manshee, lycanthrope, lichenthrope, sprite, wight, aufwader, harpy, silkie, kelpie, klepto, specter, mutant, cyborg, balrog, troll, ogre, cat in shoes, dog in a hat, psychic and psychotic seemingly having decided that this was the hot spot to visit."
Author: Daniel O'Malley
6. "When one speaks of sex with midgets, one must speak French."
Author: Dennis Vickers
7. "Don't creationists ever wonder about the fact that the paleontologists found ape-like skulls with the 'human leg and foot bones,' rather than the other way around, i.e., human skulls with 'ape leg and foot bones?' . . . Come on, creationists, think about it! Did God hide the human skulls, only leaving behind leg and foot bones belonging to human midgets with misshapen feet, and mix such bones only with the skulls of ape-like creatures with larger cranial capacities than living apes? What a 'kidder' the creationists' God must be."
Author: Edward Babinski
8. "Let's go inside. I always find walking inside buildings has this bizarre effect on me. I immediately forget uncomfortable situations, like when tiny midget women straddle my best friend's boyfriend and face-rape him."
Author: Frankie Rose
9. "Is this the baby?" I said.Ma turned on me again."What do you think it is?" she said. "A midget that can't talk?"
Author: George Saunders
10. "That's bad luck: three on a midget.From "At The Circus"
Author: Groucho Marx
11. "That cat was a spy. You had to take a pot shot at it. It was a very clever German midget dressed up in a cheap fur coat."
Author: J.D. Salinger
12. "Half an hour later, each of them had been given a complicated circular chart, and was attempting to fill in the position of the planets at their moment of birth. It was dull work, requiring much consultation of timetables and calculation of angles."I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down at his piece of parchment, "that can't be right, can it?""Aaaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mystical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry . . ."
Author: J.K. Rowling
13. "Ron, we're supposed to show the first years where to go!" "Oh yeah," said Ron, who had obviously forgotten. "Hey -- hey you lot! Midgets!"
Author: J.K. Rowling
14. "I've got two neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down at his piece of parchment, "that can't be right, can it?""Aaaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mystical whisper, "when two neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..."Seamus and Dean, who were working nearby, sniggered loudly, though not loud enough to mask the excited squeals from Lavender Brown- "Oh Professor, look! I think I might've gotten an unexpected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?""It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney, peering down at the chart."Can I get a look at Uranus too, Lavender?" said Ron."
Author: J.K. Rowling
15. "I have finally taught Dean that he can do anything he wants, become mayor of Denver, marry a millionairess, or become the greatest poet since Rimbaud. But he keeps rushing out to see the midget auto races"
Author: Jack Kerouac
16. "Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either."
Author: Janet Evanovich
17. "Love is a rainbow of emotion. My favorite part is the pot of gold and the Irish midget."
Author: Jarod Kintz
18. "We had a blast at my magical birthday party. There were midgets, fairies, glass slippers, and I actually got to ride in a pumpkin."
Author: Jarod Kintz
19. "I want to invent a word that means "to stand tall, even when you feel small and frail." That word, as I envision it, will be "Buqz" (pronounced Bucks). And then, with my newly created word, I can formulate a sentence that ties the record for the shortest sentence that uses all 26 letters of the alphabet. That sentence is, "Flyph Wax, a starving midget jock, buqz."
Author: Jarod Kintz
20. "The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I'd be OK."
Author: Jarod Kintz
21. "For such small heads, little kids seem to have the biggest brains. No disrespect to midgets."
Author: Jarod Kintz
22. "Education will only take you so far. To go even further, I'd recommend getting a piggyback ride from a midget half your body weight."
Author: Jarod Kintz
23. "I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall."
Author: Jarod Kintz
24. "I snorted powdered flamingoes while I pondered love. I sat at the bar two hours waiting for my ice on the rocks to melt so I could drink it and leave, but it was like my ex wife's heart—it was just too frigid to melt. So I called up a midget, buckled myself in on his back, and had him give me a ride home. Ah, but that's life, no?"
Author: Jarod Kintz
25. "Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I've never done because I'm afraid of heights."
Author: Jarod Kintz
26. "I long for your love like the length of a midget."
Author: Jarod Kintz
27. "Books are portable companions. But so are midgets."
Author: Jarod Kintz
28. "We all long for something. Midgets long to be long, but I long to belong."
Author: Jarod Kintz
29. "In my new job, I have big shoes to fill. My predecessor was a midget."
Author: Jarod Kintz
30. "I love with the heart of two men. Well, I would, if that damned neurosurgeon would go ahead and replace my left brain with the heart of a midget."
Author: Jarod Kintz
31. "I frowned. This from a man who just watched a midget riding a gimp?"
Author: Jaye Wells
32. "That's right, bitch. Goldie Schwartz. And I'm not a fucking midget. I prefer the term 'fun sized'."
Author: Jaye Wells
33. "They say a midget standing on a giant's shoulders can see much further than the giant. So I got the whole rap world on my shoulders, they trying to see further than I am."
Author: Jay Z
34. "It's a sad day for American Capitalism when a man can't fly a midget on a kite over central park."
Author: Jim Moran
35. "Yes, Hart, I went commando to a diplomatic function," Harry said, and then motioned to his body. "And now, as you can see, I'm going Spartan so a midget can whack me with a stick." He bent and picked up his Bongka. "Honestly, Hart. Help me out here. Focus a little."
Author: John Scalzi
36. "That goddam stunted, red-faced, big-cheeked, apple-cheeked, curlyheaded, midget assed, , google-eyed, undersized, grinning, buck-toothed rat!!" Yossarian sputtered.~ Catch-22"
Author: Joseph Heller
37. "Alan Grant: "There are... far too many words written. Millions and millions of them pouring from the presses every minute. It's a horrible thought." The Midget (his nurse): "You sound constipated."
Author: Josephine Tey
38. "I've got a theory, it could be bunnies...I've got a theor-Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposesThey've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses.And what's with all the carrots-?What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?Bunnies, bunnies it must be bunnies!...or maybe midgets..."
Author: Joss Whedon
39. "Midget, midget, midget, how he struts and winks, For he knows a man's as big as what he hopes and thinks!"
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
40. "Louis said, "There ought to be a comic book about geeks."Dr. McNaughton said, "There are books about geeks."He said, "There are?"Dr. McNaughton said, "I'll read you some Faulkner sometime. I'll read you some Eudora Welty, some Flannery O'Connor. Geeks, midgets, anything your heart desires. Better than comic books."Louis looked at his father. He said, "You'll read to me? Really?"
Author: Lewis Nordan
41. "He was able to find the intensity and beauty that he wanted, in the plung itself. Physical forces in a complicated coalition of gravity, acceleration, and temperature were powerful and intense enough to satisfy him. It made sense. Nothing was as comforting as the enduring purity of elemental forces, and returning to them could not mean defeat. But he never thought that he would die in a bark suit, strapped to a shock pancake, next to an incompetent midget."
Author: Mark Helprin
42. "Whoa," I say. "Look how tall he is." "Actors are always midgets in person," says Brandon, "But writers...they're giants."
Author: Matthew Norman
43. "Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."
Author: Mitch Hedberg
44. "You see, to tall men I'm a midget, and to short men I'm a giant; to the skinny ones I'm a fat man, and to the fat ones I'm a thin man."
Author: Norton Juster
45. "Don't you think baby corns are scary? There's just something wrong about their midget bodies."
Author: P.C. Cast
46. "If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins."
Author: Patton Oswalt
47. "Im being haunted by midgets. Heavy, determined, club wieldind midgets"
Author: Paul Magrs
48. "I'm not too heavy?" she asked. He had just come off crutches, after all.Sophie, you're practically a midget," he reminded her."
Author: Sarah Mayberry
49. "This particular event had been somewhat more raucous than usual as Derek Jameson had just lost an arm wrestle with Ann Diamond. The match was the second semi-final of the morning after Belinda Carlisle had been pipped at the post by Rusty Lee. Carlisle had caused some consternation after, upset at losing and forfeiting the chance to compete for the first prize of a quarter of midget gems, she had spat port in Lee's handbag. Carlisle had been asked to leave and, after a brief tussle, had been ejected from the building whilst screaming and spitting in Simon Parkin's face."
Author: St John Morris
50. "Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."
Author: W. C. Fields

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He worked night and day. He made a coat that would transform him; he would be more than a man; a winged creature, beautiful as light. All the birds brought him feathers. Even the eagle. Even the swan."
Author: Catherine Fisher

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