Top Mothers And Sons Funny Quotes

Browse top 26 famous quotes and sayings about Mothers And Sons Funny by most favorite authors.

Favorite Mothers And Sons Funny Quotes

1. "If I could blame it on allthe mothers and fathers of the world,they of the lessons, the pellets of power,they of the love surrounding you like batter ...Blame it on God perhaps?He of the first openingthat pushed us all into our first mistakes?No, I'll blame it on ManFor Man is Godand man is eating the earth uplike a candy barand not one of them can be left alone with the oceanfor it is known he will gulp it all down.The stars (possibly) are safe.At least for the moment.The stars are pearsthat no one can reach,even for a wedding.Perhaps for a death."
Author: Anne Sexton
2. "It's funny how those we care about can create the same reaction that we get when we are facing down a monster ready to kill us."
Author: Brandy Nacole
3. "I thought my family was really funny. Everybody in my family was funny. My mom and dad both have great senses of humor and really saw the funny in stuff, so I think that's probably where it came from. I always try to see the funny in things."
Author: Christine Ebersole
4. "I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there's an edge to that kind of humanity."
Author: Ciaran Hinds
5. "You did everything you could, but sometimes all the love in the world from mothers and brothers isn't enough to help pull someone out of their nightmare. We just need to accept that things are what they are, and all the guilt and regret in the world can't change that."
Author: Colleen Hoover
6. "That's what sons do: write to their mothers about recall, tell themselves about the past until they come to realize that they are the past."
Author: Colum McCann
7. "You know," he said to his mother, "I don't want to belong to the well-to-do middle class. I like my common people best. I belong to the common people." - Sons and Lovers"
Author: D.H. Lawrence
8. "School is a terrible place, I have decided. There is nothing good about it except for math class. Everything else is a total waste of time. As I mentioned before I have done a lot of reading about prisons, and I notice that they always describe them as painted in very dull colors, and my school is also painted in these kinds of colors, with greenish lockers and brownish walls and grayish floors. Actually they recently fixed up one wing of the school, and now that part of the school is just the opposite—all the colors are really bright, with bright red and yellow lockers and blue doors and shiny white floors that are already all scuffed up. It's funny because I thought the other colors were terrible but these are much worse, because they make it seem like it's normal to be happy there when it isn't."
Author: Dara Horn
9. "For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I'd squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I'm now told that this is not called "going to sleep" but rather "passing out," a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment."
Author: David Sedaris
10. "I felt bad because Little Big Tom came in while we were making the tape and was like over the moon because he thought we were interested in his music. We had to humor him and listen to him deliver around six hundred speeches about fusion and the Art Ensemble of Chicago and Chicano and Latino influences on pretentious jazzy pseudorock. I think it was probably the happiest I'd ever seen him. And I also felt bad about the fact that after he left we kind of made fun of the funny way he said Latino, like he was the Frito Bandito or something. I felt bad, but I did it anyway, because I'm only human. I was ashamed of myself and depressed afterward, though, which is human, too, I guess. Being human is an excuse for just about everything, but it also kind of sucks in a way."
Author: Frank Portman
11. "I fear you will never arrive at an understanding of God so long as you cannot bring yourself to see the good that often comes as a result of pain. For there is nothing, from the lowest, weakest tone of suffering to the loftiest acme of pain, to which God does not respond. There is nothing in all the universe which does not in some way vibrate within the heart of God. No creature suffers alone; He suffers with His creatures and through it is in the process of bringing His sons and daughters through the cleansing and glorifying fires, without which the created cannot be made the very children of God, partakers of the divine nature and peace."
Author: George MacDonald
12. "Thanks to the heroic sons and daughters of this country, who have paid sacrifices, we have been able to score a number of victories which are encouraging the nation-building process we are engaged in."
Author: Girma Woldegiorgis
13. "Henry KissingerHow I'm missing yerYou're the Doctor of my dreamsWith your crinkly hair and your glassy stareAnd your Machiavellian schemesI know they say that you are very vainAnd short and fat and pushyBut at least you're not insaneHenry KissingerHow I'm missing yerAnd wishing you were hereHenry KissingerHow I'm missing yerYou're so chubby and so neatWith your funny clothes and your squishy noseYou're like a German parakeetAll right so people say that you don't careBut you've got nicer legs than HitlerAnd bigger tits than CherHenry KissingerHow I'm missing yerAnd wishing you were here"
Author: Graham Chapman
14. "It find it funny how people from Boston and New York hate each other because of pro teams."
Author: Julian Casablancas
15. "A pope going through a faith crisis would be funny to see."
Author: Kyle Dunnigan
16. "A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma."
Author: Marlene Dietrich
17. "Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and perverse place for a little girl in a Catholic school uniform to grow up."
Author: Meghan Markle
18. "I hold my daughter in my arms and thank God for bringing her to me. If the standard route for creating a family had worked for me, I wouldn't have met this child. I needed to know her. I needed to be her mother. I know now why all those events happened. Or didn't happen. So I could meet this little girl. She is, in every way, my daughter. I am carrying my Funny Gift from God and all is good."
Author: Nia Vardalos
19. "Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living."
Author: Pauly Shore
20. "No funny business. I'll scream and dead or not it will hurt your ears"
Author: Penelope Fletcher
21. "Everywhere my sons and I go, we're telling people the good news about Jesus, blowing duck calls, and making people, happy, happy– then down the road we go."
Author: Phil Robertson
22. "One way to tell if you're really comfortable with a person is if you can be quiet together sometimes and not feel awkward. If you don't feel obligated to say something brilliant or funny or surprising or cool. You can just be together. You can just be."
Author: Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
23. "It's so funny castle, you know, at first I loved that he was so busy. It just, it just gave me the opportunity to keep one foot out the door just on case.But with one foot out the door, it's hard to know where you stand. And even if I did what does it mean?"
Author: Richard Castle
24. "Rather than sleep, Tibbets crawled through the thirty-foot tunnel to chatwith the waist crew, wondering if they knew what they were carrying. "Achemist's nightmare," the tail gunner, Robert Caron, guessed, then "aphysicist's nightmare." "Not exactly," Tibbets hedged. Tibbets was leavingby the time Caron put two and two together:'Tibbets stayed a little longer, and then started to crawl forward up the tunnel. I remembered something else, and just as the last of the Old Man was disappearing, I sort of tugged at his foot, which was still showing. He came sliding back in a hurry, thinking maybe something was wrong. "What's the matter?"I looked at him and said, "Colonel, are we splitting atoms today?"This time he gave me a really funny look, and said, "That's about it."
Author: Richard Rhodes
25. "Rory Bremner I have no problem with; he is a satirist, and a very funny one, too."
Author: Richie Benaud
26. "It may not be as dramatic or funny to make a movie about a woman who loves both her job and her family, but that would be a better reflection of reality. We need more portrayals of women as competent professionals and happy mothers—"
Author: Sheryl Sandberg

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After all, how can a mere dragon expect to tell a man like yourself what to do? In fact, everyone should stand in awe of your brilliance of finding the only dead end.- Saphira"
Author: Christopher Paolini

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