Famous Quotes About Orafoura

Browse 17 famous quotes and sayings about Orafoura.

Top Quotes About Orafoura

1. "Freud was a fraud, but he'd probably think I have a complex of some kind. Anal, oral, Orafoural, etc. While most kids wanted to grow up to be an astronaut, one of Barbara Streisand's bras, a priest in sheep's clothing, or an IRS employee, I always wanted to be my own clone."
Author: Jarod Kintz
2. "Walk Like A Pine Tree Day occurs on Stand Still Day. Orafoura and I observe both—and we observe whatever else we may be standing next to."
Author: Jarod Kintz
3. "Oh, there are so many ways to categorize and catalogue things. Alphabetically, numerically, by date, weight, height, color, monetary value, sentimental value, or by Orafoura's spiritual index. For me, I order things to subdue the overwhelming feeling of chaos in life. If I can fold my underwear into tiny triangles and arrange them ROYGBIV in the top drawer of my dresser, then I feel I can make it through the day."
Author: Jarod Kintz
4. "Guttenberg didn't write the Bible—he just printed it. Gideon didn't write the Bible—he just placed it into every nightstand in every hotel. And Orafoura doesn't appear in the Bible—though he may have disappeared into it."
Author: Jarod Kintz
5. "Orafoura paid me in pajamas, and I let him because the pajamas matched his plaid mustache."
Author: Jarod Kintz
6. "Orafoura doesn't know shit about what I said, said Orafoura, quoting The Mythical Mr. Boo to me about the shit that's been said about him."
Author: Jarod Kintz
7. "Agatha had rose-colored cheeks, and thorn-like warts all over her slender neck. When we'd make love, I'd pretend I was Helen Keller and her neck was the Book of Love. I like to think I wrote that book, but I didn't. Orafoura did."
Author: Jarod Kintz
8. "As we were walking home the other night, Orafoura turned to me and said, "Were you aware that there are places in the universe where time doesn't exist?""I know," I replied. "That's where I went to buy my last watch."
Author: Jarod Kintz
9. "Theo named his son Theology. But his son changed it to The O to honor his dad, Orafoura."
Author: Jarod Kintz
10. "Tomorrow I was supposed to have a meeting with a salesperson, who happened to be Orafoura. But something came up, so I called him and said, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I have to cancel tomorrow." To which he replied, "Cancel tomorrow! Who do you think you are, God?"
Author: Jarod Kintz
11. "Women, who understands them? Not men—and certainly not women. Perhaps only cats do. But who understands cats? Perhaps only Orafoura, the last remaining Cupid and sole savior of earthly love."
Author: Jarod Kintz
12. "With women, there is no sexual mystery—a vagina is a vagina. But with men, a woman's got to wonder, is his penis small, medium, or Orafoura?"
Author: Jarod Kintz
13. "Being alive means living fully extended. Like Orafoura's cousin, who is 2.5 inches tall, but has a five-inch penis. You can't say that's average, because how many people do you know whose penis is twice as long as they are?"
Author: Jarod Kintz
14. "I have alchemised my love for Agatha, and turned it into gold, which is the embodiment of Orafoura. I am the Elixir of Love--hot, cold, dry, and moist, I am the quintessential element: Jell-O. Agatha makes me yummy like John Wayne rides horse radish."
Author: Jarod Kintz
15. "Agatha was a woman. All women are mortal. Therefore, Agatha must be dead." -Orafoura"
Author: Jarod Kintz
16. "One day Orafoura and I were walking along and I turned and said, "I wish I could capture the weather in a bottle." Without looking at me he said, "You can capture rain in a bottle. Some people call that water."
Author: Jarod Kintz
17. "I am Orafoura, but you can call me Jarod Kintz. I'm fairly proud to proclaim that Dora J. Arod has me on her short list of "World's worst writers." The list couldn't get any shorter, because I'm the only name on it. I should tell her to stop calling it a list, and change the title to "World's worst writer." If you're wondering why I rate all my work one star, it's because the rating system doesn't have a zero star option, or better yet, go into negative numbers."
Author: Orafoura

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Today's Quote

Charlie says kissing is like baseball without the bat," Sam said."I think it's more like fotball without the pads," Tess laughed. "You ever kiss a girl?""Nah" Sam said. "Tried once, but Stacie Bing popped me in the nose and knocked me out. I woke up in the principal's office.""Really?""Swear."
Author: Ben Sherwood

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