Famous Quotes About Poop

Browse 88 famous quotes and sayings about Poop.

Top Quotes About Poop

1. "That puke was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. It was green and a little red. Technicolor, really, the color puke is supposed to be. It definitely wasn't black, and it didn't smell like toasty poop. This was a good sign."
Author: Carrie Harris
2. "And maybe leprechauns will poop rainbows on your pillow."
Author: Chloe Neill
3. "The Colorman slid off the morgue slab to the cold floor. Bullets pooped from his wounds and plopped on the stone as he limped naked around the room looking for something to wear. All the dead were either naked, too ripe, or too tall for him to use their clothes, so he settled on a white mortician's coat that trailed out behind him as he went. The morgue attendant pretended not to see him as he passed, figuring that a spontaneous reanimation would require paperwork that he did not wish to fill out."
Author: Christopher Moore
4. "Rachel hadn't invented the dangers of toxoplasmosis; she'd gone online and built an airtight case. This wasn't crazy talk. Neurobiologists had linked T. gondii to suicide and the onset of schizophrenia. All caused by exposure to cat poop. Some studies even suggested that the toxo brain parasites chemically coerced people to adopt more cats. Those crazy cat ladies were actually being controlled by an infection of single-cell invaders."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
5. "A baby's existence for the first three months is a one-way street. One person is doing all the work and the other is crying, sleeping and pooping. So the first moment when you're actually able to do something and they acknowledge your presence, that's a big deal. A very big deal."
Author: Colin Hanks
6. "Humankind made these religions; that our brains are capable of doing that is neither something to take too seriously — because we also make poop, and we learned to flush that the fuck down the toilet — but it's also not something to totally disregard."
Author: Dan Harmon
7. "The left side of my brain had been shut down like a damaged section of a spinship being sealed off, airtight doors leaving the doomed compartments open to vacuum. I could still think. Control of the right side of my body soon returned. Only the language centers had been damaged beyond simple repair. The marvelous organic computer wedged in my skull had dumped its language content like a flawed program. The right hemisphere was not without some language – but only the most emotionally charged units of communication could lodge in that affective hemisphere; my vocabulary was now down to nine words. (This, I learned later, was exceptional, many victims of CVAs retain only two or three.) For the record, here is my entire vocabulary of manageable words: fuck, shit, piss, cunt, goddamn, motherfucker, asshole, peepee, and poopoo."
Author: Dan Simmons
8. "My Cuddle Time Bible Story BookSleeping with Jesus Baby Bibles: Tall Tales for Tiny totsEverybody Poops (Except God)"
Author: Dave Eggers
9. "Confidence don't mean jack shit in the real world, sis," she once said. I feel myself finding the courage to trust those words more and more with every twist of the knife. Coincidentally, last Tuesday afternoon I was involuntarily exposed to the punch line of an old wise tale that goes something like: "There's beauty that can be found in everything." But why can't the insensitive cunt who said that ever find the courage to look in the mirror? Because poopycock, one might say."
Author: Dave Matthes
10. "We must prove to the world that we are all nincompoops"
Author: Emmuska Orczy
11. "With everyone lounging around, eating sleeping, sunning, pooping, it looks like some weird combat version of an outdoor rock festival."
Author: Evan Wright
12. "Admitting that Katie had taken too much blood was on par with saying an adult human had pooped their pants or eaten their own boogers!"
Author: Faith Hunter
13. "This benign property of his prose is not, one hopes, to be attributed to the reason noticed by the eccentric du Garbandier, who said 'the beauty of reading a page of de Selby is that it leads one inescapably to the happy conviction that one is not, of all nincompoops, the greatest'."
Author: Flann O'Brien
14. "Such poopitations of the heart as you would not believe."
Author: Gail Carriger
15. "Q: Bigfoot, when my Guinea pig wake up? Parents say he sleeping in box in ground in bakc garden. Suzie, Ag 9, Toronto, CanadaA: Actually Suzie Guinea pig dead and Bigfoot already dig up and eat. If want back Bigfoot probably poop out bones and fur ni day or so. Very delicious, raise him right, he taste like love."
Author: Graham Roumieu
16. "Farts smell like poop in a gas for" Atticus"
Author: Harper Lee
17. "I hated meatloaf. It was like something that Satan pooped out after an eternity of constipation. So I told Mom because I was honest that way. I sat back, squared my shoulders, and met her eyes, all confident-like."Mom, meatloaf's like something that Satan pooped out after an eternity of constipation. It should be outlawed, frankly, and serving it for dinner is like child abuse and should carry with it some pretty stiff penalties."
Author: Hayden Thorne
18. "Mines!" Patsy shouts, pointing at Tim. He goes to her, rumples her scanty hair."See, hot Alice? Even the very young feel the pull of my magnetism. It's like an irresistible urge, a force like gravity, or—""Poop!"
Author: Huntley Fitzpatrick
19. "Part of what Brahms and others could never quite get over was that Bruckner the composer of epic symphonies behaved, much of the time, like a nincompoop."
Author: Jan Swafford
20. "I ran over some dog poop on my drive home last night. But I didn't feel bad, because I didn't vote for that particular politician."
Author: Jarod Kintz
21. "I shit bricks, because I'm a constructive pooper."
Author: Jarod Kintz
22. "It can't be that bad. I have to try it."I bit back a mad grin. I was so not going to stop her."Uh, Ash, I really wouldn't suggest doing that," Daemon began.Party pooper, I thought, but Ash was a determined little alien."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
23. "Finn is God: If you get off your high horse, you'll notice that it, too, poops."
Author: Jessica Park
24. "Repooping is the purest form of pooping"
Author: Johannes Rand
25. "I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww, dog poop!"
Author: Jonah Goldberg
26. "Ewww... intelligent design people! They're just buck-toothed, Bible-pushing nincompoops with community-college degrees who're trying to sell a gussied-up creationism to a cretinous public! No need to address their concerns or respond to their arguments. They are Not Science. They are poopy-heads. There. I just saved you the trouble of reading 90 percent of the responses to the ID position... This is how losers act just before they lose: arrogant, self-satisfied, too important to be bothered with substantive refutation, and disdainful of their own faults... The only remaining question is whether Darwinism will exit gracefully, or whether it will go down biting, screaming, censoring, and denouncing to the bitter end.— Tech Central Station contributor Douglas Kern, 2005"
Author: Jonathan Wells
27. "We were all in a tight group on the poop looking at her."
Author: Joseph Conrad
28. "She's got so many azalea bushes, her yard's going to look like Gone With the Wind come spring. I don't like azaleas and I sure didn't like that movie, the way they made slavery look like a big happy tea party. If I'd played Mammy, I'd of told Scarlett to stick those green draperies up her white little pooper. Maker her own damn man-catching dress."
Author: Kathryn Stockett
29. "Bug?" Jenks shouted, incensed. "You sack of sweat stink. I've got farts that smell sweeter than you. Think you're better than me? Poop ice cream cones, do you?"
Author: Kim Harrison
30. "Really? Well, you'd definitely be interested in the fact that I just read To Kill A Mockingbird."I smiled and elbowed him. "Everyone's read that."I've read it five times."Nu-uh."Yep. I can even quote parts of it."That's bullpoopie."And then Stark, my big, bad, macho Warrior raised his voice, put on a little girl's Southern drawl, and said, "'Uncle Jack? What's a whore-lady?'"I do not think that's the most important quote from that book," I said, but laughed anyway.Okay, how about: 'Ain't no snot-nosed slut of a schoolteacher ever born c'n make me do nothin.!' That one's really my favorite."You got a twisted mind, James Stark."
Author: Kristin Cast
31. "All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we had those old-fashioned values, and I say let's get back to the good old-fashioned First Amendment of the good old-fashioned Constitution of the United States -- and to hell with the censors! Give me knowledge or give me death!"
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
32. "Aside from battles, the history of nations seemed to consist of nothing but powerless old poops like myself, heavily medicated and vaguely beloved in the long ago, coming to kiss the boots of young psychopaths."
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
33. "Dear Sir, poor sir, brave sir." he read, "You are an experiment by the Creator of the Universe. You are the only creature in the entire Universe who has free will. You are the only one who has to figure out what to do next - and why. Everybody else is a robot, a machine. Some persons seem to like you, and others seem to hate you, and you must wonder why. They are simply liking machines and hating machines. You are pooped and demoralized, " read Dwayne. "Why wouldn't you be? Of course it is exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable."
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
34. "I just might kill someone in my next job, and I'll be honest here, I couldn't do the time. Really. No way. I couldn't share a room with four other people, let alone poop in front of them. I hate sharing a room and a bathroom with my husband, and I even have eminent domain over him. Prison would never work out: I'd get picked last for all of the gangs, I'd never get included in the escape plans, it would be just like high school"
Author: Laurie Notaro
35. "MAMBO SUN""Beneath the bebop moon I want to croon with you Beneath the Mambo Sun I got to be the one with you My life's a shadowless horse If I can't get across to you In the alligator rain My heart's all pain for you Girl you're good And I've got wild knees for you On a mountain range I'm Dr. Strange for you Upon a savage lake Make no mistake I love you I got a powder-keg leg And my wig's all pooped for you With my hat in my hand I'm a hungry man for you I got stars in my beard And I feel real weird for you Beneath the bebop moon I'm howling like a loon for you Beneath the mumbo sun I've got to be the one for you"
Author: Marc Bolan
36. "Life is a stew, and pot is poop.If someone stirred even a teeny-bit of poop in the stew, would you really want to eat it?"
Author: Maria Semple
37. "For $425 you can buy pills containing real gold that make your poop sparkle. How have I lived this long without sparkly poop?"
Author: Michael Makai
38. "When she saw me, my mother stood up and started to come toward me, but then stopped. I think maybe Cat Poop had told her not to make any sudden movements because they might scare me, like I'm a wild animal or something, because she kept looking at him and then at me. Finally she just said, "Hello, Jeff," and sat down again next to my father."
Author: Michael Thomas Ford
39. "To tell a group of adolescents who already know how to speak and write that that is the purpose of grammar is like telling someone that they need to read a history of toilets through the ages in order to pee and poop."
Author: Muriel Barbery
40. "I have a special pair of poop shoes under my desk. Whenever I need to drop a deuce, I slip them on and scurry to the restroom, and no one ever knows it's me. Like, if I'm wearing Louboutins that day, and my producer sees Earth shoes in the stall....well, you get the idea. It was truly a lightbulb moment when that came to me."
Author: Oprah Winfrey
41. "Out of the sea will rise Behemoth and Leviathan, and sail 'round the high-pooped galleys... Dragons will wander about the waste places, and the phoenix will soar from her nest of fire into the air. We shall lay our hands upon the basilisk, and see the jewel in the toad's head. Champing his gilded oats, the Hippogriff will stand in our stalls, and over our heads will float the Blue Bird singing of beautiful and impossible things, of things that are lovely and that never happen, of things that are not and that should be."
Author: Oscar Wilde
42. "A man who can set out in a cab for a fancy-dress ball and not get there is manifestly a poop of no common order."
Author: P.G. Wodehouse
43. "Pooh, he's a ninkypoop!" "How do you know?" asked Jane, very interested. "I know because I heard Daddy call him one this morning!" said Michael, and he laughed at Andrew very rudely. "He is not a nincompoop," said Mary Poppins. "And that is that."
Author: P.L. Travers
44. "This music, transmitted by loud-speakers, made a masterpiece appear like an amateurish attempt at composition by nimcompoop"
Author: Paul Hindemith
45. "Nothing in this place is sexy," I told him, and he[Dex] laughed. "Oh, come on, Izzy. Even you, Miss Anti-Romance, can admit there's something just a little bit appealing about making out in a candlelit cave." "Bats live in caves," I reminded him. "And where there are bats, There's bat poop. Lot's of it. Did you know there's a cave in Mexico where they have a whole mountain made out guano?"
Author: Rachel Hawkins
46. "I'm all about that shit."Mom shoots me the Disapproving-Mom-Subtle-Lip-Frown."I'm all about that poop," I correct delicately."
Author: Sara Wolf
47. "Oh, if there were only a true religion. Fool that I am, I see a Gothic cathedral and venerable stained-glass windows, and my weak heart conjures up the priest to fit the scene. My soul would understand him, my soul has need of him. I only find a nincompoop with dirty hair."
Author: Stendhal
48. "And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back."My mother did this for me once," she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby's neck. "My mother did this for me." And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I'll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes."
Author: Tina Fey
49. "He rolled his eyes and then frowned at both me and Ian (Somerhalder). "That guy takes a shit, too, you know."I shook my head to disagree. "No, he doesn't. He's still in god status and we all know that gods don't poop."
Author: Tina Reber
50. "I'll cry!! Ububu... BUEEEEEEE!! I... Ichigo, you thupid! Baldy!! Piece of poop!Ichigo: Alright! Alright! I get it already, stop crying!Nel: Impotent!Ichigo: I'm not impotent!!Rukia: What's he shouting about?Nel: Virgin!!!Ichigo: SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!!!"
Author: Tite Kubo

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The pinup girl, Betty Grable, sprayed her bare butt and breasts with hairspray until they were wet. That way the top and bottom of her swimsuitstayed glued where she wanted. Hairspray inside your high heels works the same way."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk

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