Top Replacing A Girlfriend Quotes

Browse top 21 famous quotes and sayings about Replacing A Girlfriend by most favorite authors.

Favorite Replacing A Girlfriend Quotes

1. "If you were sitting quietly on your couch, waiting for your girlfriend to come back inside so you could finish watching your movie, and while you were waiting, someone called you up and said "I'll give you a million dollars if you can guess what's going to happen next," you absolutely would not guess "I am going to be brutally and unexpectedly attacked by a goose in my own home." Even if you had a hundred guesses, you would not guess that."
Author: Allie Brosh
2. "I have one good girlfriend and then most of my friends are guys. Which I love, because they're just like so easygoing and I love to play like Xbox and just chill out when I'm not working, so boys are probably the way to go for me."
Author: Ashley Benson
3. "If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus."
Author: Chuck Klosterman
4. "My girlfriend is much better than I am at working hard then resting, and she demands that from me, too. She insists on having time when we don't do anything. We leave the housework and watch a movie."
Author: Cynthia Nixon
5. "And this fear that US models are replacing everything else now spills over from the sphere of culture into our two remaining categories: for this process is clearly, at one level, the result of economic domination - of local cultural industries closed down by American rivals."
Author: Fredric Jameson
6. "Here goes. See, my boyfriend and Idecided to stay together for the summer,you know, even though he had to go visitsome family in nowhereville. At least,that's what he told me. Anyway,everything was fine at first, because youknow, we talked every night, and thenboom, he just stopped calling. So I calledand texted him like the good girlfriend Iam, and it wasn't stalkerish, I swear,because I stopped after, like, the thirtiethtime. A week goes by before he finallyhits me back, and he was totally drunk andall, hey, baby, I miss you and what are youwearing, like no time had passed, and Iwas all, you so do not deserve to know."
Author: Gena Showalter
7. "The passion for finding the system in experience, replacing surprise with order, is a persistent part of human nature...Science came to mean the elimination of surprise. It outlawed miracles, because miracles are above all unexpected."
Author: George Gilder
8. "While you're playing yourself out in lonesome dissipation in front of a pinball machine, someone else might be reading through Proust. Still another might be engaged in heavy petting with a girlfriend at a drive-in theater showing of Paths of Courage. The one could well become a writer, witness to the age; the others, a happily married couple. Pinball machines, however, won't lead you anywhere.Just the replay light. Replay, replay, replay..."
Author: Haruki Murakami
9. "What is it with these people? They are more obsessed with me finding a girlfriend than I am."He's concentrating on his studies," says Mum proudly."Ah," says Mr Coles. "I should've done that, but at his age I was out on the town, living it up. Best days of my life, they were.""Oh yes, mine too," says Mum with a weird twinkle in her eye.I wonder how easy it is to kill two people with a screwdriver and a bag of half-frozen peas."
Author: J.A. Buckle
10. "My parents had torn through my innocence and left me with a tar-like substance that was corrupting what was left of me. I could feel it at night; slithering and curling around my soul as it slowly devoured me. It was draining my energy and replacing it with an evil I was afraid to confront."
Author: J.D. Stroube
11. "The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and a sticky note on the fridge that said, "I love you." "Oh my God," I thought. "Somebody's obsessed with me, and they kidnapped my girlfriend just to get closer to me."
Author: Jarod Kintz
12. "My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She's tied up in the trunk this very moment."
Author: Jarod Kintz
13. "Fear sucks. Because you never know when it will attack. Sometimes it sneaks up behind you, giggling like your best girlfriend from seventh grade. Then it whacks you on the back of the head, takes you straight to your knees before you realize what hit you. Other times you can see it coming, just a dot on the horizon, but you're like a canary in a cage. All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers."
Author: Jennifer Rardin
14. "Ben & Jerry's is an indulgent dessert that should be eaten in moderation. You should not be replacing more than one meal a day with ice cream. We do not consider a pint or a tub of ice cream to be a single serving."
Author: Jerry Greenfield
15. "Whether it appears in a story about a man killing his girlfriend while calling her a whore or in trying to battle conservative claims that emergency contraception or the HPV vaccine will make girls promiscuous, the purity myth in America underlies more misogyny than most people would like to admit"
Author: Jessica Valenti
16. "You're right. The fact that the entire party of fifty guests caught you and Jill Moench kissing in the closet was a complete misunderstanding." Theo snorted, turning to Penny, "His girlfriend certainly got a surprise at her party. And it wasn't the kind where everyone jumps out from behind the couch to yell, ‘Surprise!"
Author: Katlyn Charlesworth
17. "It's important for me to treat a girlfriend with respect. My mum would be horrified if I behaved any differently - and I have sisters, and would hate for them to be treated badly by guys."
Author: Louis Tomlinson
18. "My Latin girlfriend sees me read, snigger, read on intensily and said "you look like someone who is attacked by a butterfly "" mails one of the first recipients of the complete Wold, Wold, Wold! book. It's a guy i know who lives in South America. I think it's one of the best descriptions I have ever seen about what i really want to accomplish: to write books that attack one like a giant butterfly."
Author: Martinus Hendrikus Benders
19. "I will raise you like my own," I promised the tiny basil pot that day. "I will give you sunlight, I will give you water, I will give you love.""I will eat your limbs," my girlfriend helpfully added rubbing her belly and licking her lips like a grizzly bear gazing up at a sticky beehive in a tall pine tree."
Author: Neil Pasricha
20. "David.""Nobody home but you and me," he said, nibbling at her jaw, her throat, her mouth as he guidedher out of the kitchen. "You know what I was thinking the other day?""No." How could she? She didn't know what she was thinking right now."That it's a complex business. My girlfriend lives with her mother."She did laugh now, at the idea of being called anyone's girlfriend."And I live with my kids. No place to go to do all the things I've imagined doing with you. Do youknow the things I've imagined doing with you?""I'm getting the picture. David, it's the middle of the day.""The middle of the day." He paused at the base of the steps. "And an opportunity. I hate wastedopportunities, don't you?"
Author: Nora Roberts
21. "You know," I said to Michael, "my girlfriend took him down with a broken tree branch." "Too bad she isn't here," he said."
Author: Rachel Caine

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Author: Barbara Jordan

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