Top Retarded Quotes

Browse top 78 famous quotes and sayings about Retarded by most favorite authors.

Favorite Retarded Quotes

1. "I collect things that just look retarded."
Author: Ahmet Zappa
2. "You do like me, don't you? Even though I'm apparently communicatively handicapped and socially retarded?"
Author: Amy Lane
3. "There's a side that I want to do just like really retarded arty films like parody, pretentious art films that kind of are supposed to have some deep meaning."
Author: Andy Milonakis
4. "It was because all we wanted was each other's constant love and attention and for no one else to receive that love and attention, which is a selfish and difficult place to be in a relationship. We were emotionally retarded, and that was the best we could do at the time."
Author: Anthony Kiedis
5. "The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons."
Author: Augusten Burroughs
6. "Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags."
Author: Bryan Lee O'Malley
7. "I have a rule of thumb that allows me to judge, when times is pressing and one needs to make a snap judgment, whether or not some sexist bullshit is afoot. Obviously, it's not 100% infallible but by and large it definitely points you in the right direction and it's asking this question; are the men doing it? Are the men worrying about this as well? Is this taking up the men's time? Are the men told not to do this, as it's letting the side down? Are the men having to write bloody books about this exasperating retarded, time-wasting, bullshit? Is this making Jeremy Clarkson feel insecure?Almost always the answer is no. The boys are not being told they have to be a certain way, they are just getting on with stuff."
Author: Caitlin Moran
8. "The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping."
Author: Christy Leigh Stewart
9. "When you're dead probably not even homeless people and retarded people will want to trade you places."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
10. "I'm "exceptional"- a democratic term used to avoid the damning labels of "gifted" and "deprived" (which used to mean "bright" and "retarded") and as soon as "exceptional" begins to mean anything to anyone they'll change it. The idea seems to be: use an expression as long as it doesn't mean anything to anybody. "Exceptional" refers to both ends of the spectrum, so all my life I've been exceptional."
Author: Daniel Keyes
11. "What an incredible thing! How much less they had than other human beings. Mentally retarded, deaf, mute - and still eagerly sanding benches."
Author: Daniel Keyes
12. "Scholastic learning and polemical divinity retarded the growth of all true knowledge."
Author: David Hume
13. "Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."
Author: David Sedaris
14. "Unto my Books-so good to turn-Far ends of tired Days-It half endears the Abstinence-And Pain-is missed-in Praise-As Flavors-cheer Retarded GuestsWith Banquettings to be-So Spices-stimulate the timeTill my small Library-It may be Wilderness-without-Far feet of failing Men-But Holiday-excludes the night-And it is Bells-within-I thank these Kinsmen of the Shelf-Their Countenances KidEnamor-in Prospective-And satisfy-obtained-"
Author: Emily Dickinson
15. "I'm retarded and I'm on TV"
Author: Evanescence
16. "I'm retarded - I mean I'm retired."
Author: Frank Serpico
17. "When I see gurgling retarded children (that's God's doing, by the way, not mine) happily styling their hair with their own stinking mards, I think of Adam in those pre-marital days. I know he's your great-to-the-nth-degree-granddad and all - but I'm afraid he was rather an imbecile."
Author: Glen Duncan
18. "I'm a bit retarded, like most Americans."
Author: Henry Miller
19. "A moving body whose motion was not retarded by any resisting force would continue to move to all eternity."
Author: Hermann Von Helmholtz
20. "I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded."
Author: Ilona Andrews
21. "Don't be retarded; excellence is "status quo discarded". Look ahead and don't see the little things you do now as the final products to ever stand out of your personal actions!"
Author: Israelmore Ayivor
22. "What happened to the classics?" you may ask. "Don't you believe in reading great literature to children?"Nothing happened to the classics-but something happened to children: their imaginations went to sleep in front of the television set twenty-five years ago. Reading a classic to a child whose imagination is in a state of retarded development will not foster a love of literature in that child."
Author: Jim Trelease
23. "The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."
Author: Joe Rogan
24. "The same teen who can't legally operate a four-wheeler, or [ATV]...in a farm lane workplace environment can operate a jacked-up F-250 pickup on a crowded urban expressway. By denying these [farm work] opportunities to bring value to their own lives and the community around them, we've relegated our young adults to teenage foolishness. Then as a culture we walk around shaking our heads in bewilderment at these young people with retarded maturity. Never in life do people have as much energy as in their teens, and to criminalize leveraging it is certainly one of our nation's greatest resource blunders."
Author: Joel Salatin
25. "But there is merit even in the mentally retarded legislator. He asks the questions that everyone is afraid to ask for fear of seeming simple."
Author: John Kenneth Galbraith
26. "From 20 years of experience hiring artists out of the schools, I know-they get worse every year. They're absolutely ridiculously retarded now."
Author: John Kricfalusi
27. "That does not surprise me,' Annie said and once again hung up the phone thinking that she had chosen to surround herself with people who were, for lack of a better term, retarded."
Author: Kevin Wilson
28. "I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor."
Author: Laurie Notaro
29. "The attempt of Lavoisier to reform chemical nomenclature is premature. One single experiment may destroy the whole filiation of his terms; and his string of sulphates, sulphites, and sulphures, may have served no end than to have retarded the progress of science by a jargon, from the confusion of which time will be requisite to extricate us."
Author: Lavoisier
30. "All you had to say was, 'I am a writer,' and you became one. You didn't even have to write anything. You could just sit in a coffee shop with a notebook and stare into space, with a slightly bemused look on your face, judging the weight of the world with a jaundiced eye. As you can see, you can be completely full of shit and still be a writer...I also thought it was going to be a great way to meet girls, but it wasn't--probably because as I was staring into space, I no doubt looked mildly retarded. You see, I wanted to write plays, which in retrospect is a lot harder than learning Mandarin, I think. How I ended up in this delusional state shall be saved for another time."
Author: Lewis Black
31. "Art then becomes a safety valve for the expression of individual and collective neuroses originating in the inability of coping with the environment. Its products serve as a retarded correction of perception braked by the system of conventions and stereotypes that stabilize society. They create a slightly updated system which, eventually assimilated by history, will require a new system and so on without end. Art objects serve as points of identification alienated from the consumer, requiring more sympathy than empathy."
Author: Luis Camnitzer
32. "I often took him as one of God's little jokes on me. When I was in desperate trouble, what saved me from a fate worse than death? To what do I owe my life? Was it love, affection, understanding, friends, wisdom? No no no. It was a man who looks like a poor copy of Walt Disney, drives pink Cadillacs, wears baby-blue alligator shoes, and appears to have the emotional depth of a slightly retarded potato."
Author: Mark Vonnegut
33. "My parents were told by the principal of West Barnstable Elementary School and my teacher that I was a bright boy whose spelling was in the retarded range and whose handwriting was the worst they'd ever seen. I find it embarrassing that I spell so badly. I will do almost anything to avoid being embarrassed, but no effort either on my part or on the part of any teacher has ever dented my utter bafflement when it comes to choosing which letters to put down, how many, and in what order."
Author: Mark Vonnegut
34. "I'm going away anyway. I am. Do you hear me? I may be ugly and clumsy, but one thing I am not, I'm not retarded. I may be ugly and clumsy, but one thing I am not, I'm not retarded. There's nothing wrong with my brain. Do you know what the Teacher Ghosts say about me? They tell me I'm smart, and I can win scholarships. I can get into colleges. I've already applied. I'm smart. I can do all sorts of things. I know how to get A's, and they say I could be a scientist or a mathematician if I want. I can make a living and take care of myself. So you don't have to find me a keeper who's too dumb to know a bad bargain. I'm so smart, if they say write ten pages, I can write fifteen. I can do ghost things even better than ghosts can. Not everyone thinks I'm nothing. I am not going to be a slave or a wife. Even if I am stupid and talk funny amd get sick, I won't let you turn me into a slave or a wife. I'm getting out of here. I can't stand living here anyore. It's your fault I talk weird."
Author: Maxine Hong Kingston
35. "I may be ugly and clumsy, but one thing I'm not, I'm not retarded."
Author: Maxine Hong Kingston
36. "You're like the little mentally retarded sister I never had"
Author: Meg Cabot
37. "The cliche had it that kids were the future, but that wasn't it: they were the unreflective, active present. They were not themselves nostalgic, because they couldn't be, and they retarded nostalgia in their parents. Even as they were getting sick and being bullied and becoming addicted to heroin and getting pregnant, they were in the moment, and she wanted to be in it with them. She wanted to worry herself sick about schools and bullying and drugs."
Author: Nick Hornby
38. "That woman doesn't have the sense God gave a retarded flea."
Author: Nora Roberts
39. "They're soul mates. She has about as much brain as a retarded billiards ball, and he approximately the same."
Author: P.G. Wodehouse
40. "They're so retarded they think stereotype means typing with both hands."
Author: Poppet
41. "What is the politically correct term for ‘retarded'?""I think the words you're fishing for are ‘mentally disabled.' And no. I'm not mentally disabled."
Author: Rachel Gibson
42. "There's an assumption in many of these cultures that these children are mentally retarded, when in fact they're not at all. I saw how the operation affects the child, as well as the child's family and often the village."
Author: Roma Downey
43. "I wrote that certain things were leaving me nauseated. I said that judges made me feel that way. Not most of them but all of them. I said that you for example, the judge I'm writing this to, made me feel nauseated. The nausea came from understanding that people produced by every conceivable advantage got to decide whether someone like Jalen lived or died and what was worse was they never fucking seemed to decide that the person should live, that a person's life, any person, was more important than whether some fat fuck at a country club thought you were hard enough on crime or whether you continue to get sufficient reelection campaign contributions you worthless retarded piece of shit. Why should you be allowed to decide anything beyond what you have for lunch you mental infant?"
Author: Sergio De La Pava
44. "You know, considering your IQ, you're really socially retarded sometimes."
Author: Shannon Delany
45. "His feet where retarded."
Author: Stephen Crane
46. "If we are lucky, they were never retarded enough to create computer viruses and will have no such things as firewalls and security like we have. If they have never experienced a full blown computer failure we'll introduce them to the concept"
Author: Thomas Wilson
47. "Learning is retarded in conditions of high anxiety and low acceptance. For most tasks, people have the intellectual knowledge to perform well; they just have a hard time acting on what they know."
Author: Tim Gallwey
48. "The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded"."
Author: Tucker Max
49. "It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel."
Author: Woody Allen
50. "So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it."
Author: Yahtzee Croshaw

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By judging others, you make yourself easy to judge."
Author: Ashly Lorenzana

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