Top Roommate Quotes

Browse top 67 famous quotes and sayings about Roommate by most favorite authors.

Favorite Roommate Quotes

1. "He isn't like us Low. You know that right." I knew what Cage was saying. Marcus was out of my league. He didn't want me thinking there could ever be anything between me and his roommate. I was low class. Marcus was a rich kid."I'm not stupid Cage."
Author: Abbi Glines
2. "I look at my roommates who are so proud of me that it makes me proud."
Author: Adriana Trigiani
3. "My first college roommate greeted me with a shocked silence followed by, 'So... you're black.'"
Author: Al Roker
4. "Nathan laughed with little real humor. "Maybe that's because I was," he said. "I disapproved of the way Andrew treated you. And i really disapproved of the way I felt about you. You were my roommate's high school sweetheart, and even now, when you're crying over him, I just . . ." I felt like I was standing on the precipice, and my decision to jump or not was the most important one I could make in my life. "What?" I whispered. He look at me, and his eyes were very, very serious. "I just want to kiss you," he said."
Author: Alicia Thompson
5. "Suddenly,I could picture Tinker on the back of a horse somewhere: at the edge of the treeline under a towering sky...at his college roommate's ranch, perhaps...where rhey hunted deer with antique rifles and with dogs that were better bred than me."
Author: Amor Towles
6. "One of my roommates, Rafael, he's an expert on monsters. Not that he talks about them. I can just tell. People who have monsters recognize each other. They know each other without even saying a word."
Author: Benjamin Alire Sáenz
7. "Interesting" he said. "You know, Simon never mentioned that his roommate was a werewolf."
Author: Cassandra Clare
8. "When she left I realized my roommate, Dave, was awake the whole time and was witness to my entire interaction with Heather. He said something like, 'Good try, man. Just remember, if Christ wants something to happen it will, but it will happen in his time.' which was my first real taste of the born-again-flavored shit pie he was going to force-feed down my throat every day of our freshman year."
Author: Chad Kultgen
9. "I guess it's hard, being apart all the time.""It really is. If Lucas were still here, everything would be different." Vic's smile turned smug. "Yeah, I'd have a roommate who could beat me at chess instead of the other way around."Ranulf never looked up from the chessboard. "I hear your insults and plan to silence them with my victory.""Keep dreaming," Vic called."
Author: Claudia Gray
10. "I keep a pretty low profile. I live in Culver City with some roommates. I don't do the whole 'Hollywood' thing."
Author: Cory Monteith
11. "I liked watching myself on TV. My first job was hosting the 'Roommate Game'."
Author: Dave Annable
12. "I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater."
Author: Demetri Martin
13. "A true roommate would get stuck with me! Prove your love! Live the roommate code of honor! Get spelled, Jayne!""I cant help you if i'm trapped too, you turd monkey!"
Author: Elle Casey
14. "She wondered how Dr. Watson - a clever man in his own right - had lasted so many years without bashing his roommate over the head out of sheer frustration."
Author: Emma Jane Holloway
15. "When I was modeling in Japan, I could blend in a little because of my hair, but my roommates with blonde hair got harassed. People would touch their hair and grope them in the subway. Actually, a lot of groping happens in the subway in Japan, but that's probably true of subways everywhere."
Author: Emmanuelle Vaugier
16. "And hey," Gabe added, "I don't even need the second bedroom, so we could set that up as a guest room, then you and Wade can stay when you visit.""You might want a roommate or something.""For what...you won't let me pay you any rent, so it's not like I need the financial assistance.""Well a boyfriend maybe?" "And he'd be sleeping in the second bedroom because?" "When he's mad 'cause you won't put out, for one." Gabe tried to shove me off him. "Don't be mean—like I wouldn't want to have sex with my boyfriend." "I'm just teasing Sally Sensitive, sheesh." "I do actually like having sex you know." Gabe frowned. I gasped, placing a hand on my chest. "Lordy mercy, my little Gabe's all growed up." Gabe laughed at me. "Finally ready to stuff his Italian sausage where the sun doesn't shine!"
Author: Ethan Day
17. "They call each other `E.' Elvis pickswildflowers near the river and bringsthem to Emily. She explains half-rhymes to him.In heaven Emily wears her hair long, sportsLevis and western blouses with rhinestones.Elvis is lean again, wears baggy trousersand T-shirts, a letterman's jacket from Tupelo High.They take long walks and often hold hands.She prefers they remain just friends. Forever.Emily's poems now contain naugahyde, Cadillacs,Electricity, jets, TV, Little Richard and RichardNixon. The rock-a-billy rhythm makes her smile.Elvis likes himself with style. This afternoonhe will play guitar and sing "I Taste A LiquorNever Brewed" to the tune of "Love Me Tender."Emily will clap and harmonize. Alonein their cabins later, they'll listen to the riverand nap. They will not think of Amherstor Las Vegas. They know why God made themroommates. It's because Americawas their hometown. It's becauseGod is a thing withoutfeathers. It's becauseGod wears blue suede shoes."
Author: Hans Ostrom
18. "To my surprise, the sensation of query filled my stomach, spreading through to every corner. This was followed by each point of query ending at the same answer. Device Nineteen had responded to the question by coming to the conclusion that oblivion was the end of every path. Great. My roommate's an emo.>My stomach reviewed the comment and rumbled queries to various parts of the diamond, but most were returned unanswered because the required systems were not yet online."
Author: J. Cameron McClain
19. "You're joking, right?""No. I've been living here for a while—like a couple of years with my roommate. You know, the fucktard who put poor Raphael outside.""Hey!" the guy yelled from inside their apartment. "I have a name. It's Señor Fucktard!"
Author: J. Lynn
20. "Calling her mother who didn't seem particularly worried, but claimed she had no idea," Jett said. "The roommate's gone with her, so I can only"
Author: J.C. Reed
21. "Butch put his hand on his roommate's nape and murmured, "I'll do the saving until you get your head back, how about that? I'll keep you safe."
Author: J.R. Ward
22. "Butch nodded, finding as comfortable a bite as he could on the leather. He braced himself as V lifted an arm.Except when his roommate's palm landed on his bare chest all he felt was a warm weight. Butch frowned. This was it? This was fucking it? Scaring the shit out of Marissa for no good-He looked down, pissed off.Oh, wrong hand."
Author: J.R. Ward
23. "They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his heavy arms out and turned in a circle, his bare chest catching the light. "I mean, come on.""They're for fighting, not fashion.""So are kilts, but you don't see me rocking the tartan.""And thank God for that. You're too bowlegged to pull that shit off."Butch assumed a bored expression. "You can bite me."
Author: J.R. Ward
24. "Carol, a swing-shift cocktail waitress in the Bird of Paradise's show lounge had gotten home (guesswork, here) around 2:15 - 2:30, poured herself a glass of milk, and had opened the back door of the kitchen for reasons unknown. (Fingerprints were later found on the outside knob that, while smudged, didn't belong to either girl.)She had opened the door, and died. Suddenly, quietly, without disturbing her sleeping roommate only a few feet away."
Author: Jeff Rice
25. "He is bad in bed. I can see the roommate masturbating after the man falls asleep. I place the crosshairs over his heart. It would be a mercy killing. A man who goes to sleep without satisfying his woman deserves punishment. He sleeps through her self-pleasure? Death is too kind."
Author: Jessica Clare
26. "Babies are the worst roommates. They're unemployed. They don't pay rent. They keep insane hours. Their hygiene is horrible. If you had a roommate that did any of the things babies do, you'd ask them to move out. "Do you remember what happened last night? Today you're all smiles, but last night you were hitting the bottle really hard. Then you started screaming, and you threw up on me. Then you passed out and wet yourself. I went into the other room to get you some dry clothes, I came back, and you were all over my wife's breasts! Right in front of me, her husband! Dude, you gotta move out."
Author: Jim Gaffigan
27. "I've got four roommates and they all have fur and tails."
Author: Kate Walsh
28. "Get your product in front of actual, living, breathing strangers. Your college roommate's approval does not mean there's market demand."
Author: Kathryn Minshew
29. "In a first pregnancy, you don't have a child yet, so you can nap and see movies and exercise. The notion of 'baby' is abstract. You look at the ultrasound and don't really understand that the creature you're seeing is soon going to be your roommate."
Author: Kelli Williams
30. "She thought I could find a way to save her soul when she died and became an undead. Right now, I was just looking to find the rent money. I'd get to my roommate's soul later."
Author: Kim Harrison
31. "Worried, I touched the jacket's sleeve. "You think it's too much?" I asked, working hard to keep my tone non-combative. I'd had this conversation with ex-roommates before."
Author: Kim Harrison
32. "I had this roommate in college who would get up almost 2 hours before class to do hair and makeup. That's not for me."
Author: Kim Raver
33. "I have the best roommates in the world! It creates a fun sense of family... and that's really important to me. Things can get so lonely without it."
Author: Kristen Bell
34. "POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):1. Hey, Drew, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed. I hope I didn't puke all over your sheets.2. What do you mean? I slept in your bed? Really? I don't remember any of it, I was so wasted.3. Thanks for not trying to molest me."
Author: Lauren Barnholdt
35. "We have been roommates our entire lives. We just bought a place together."
Author: Mary Kate Olsen
36. "Boys are adorable. Boys trail off their sentences in an appealing way. Boys bring a knapsack to work. Boys get haircuts from their roommate, who "totally knows how to cut hair." Boys can pack up their whole life in a duffel bag and move to Brooklyn for a gig if they need to. Boys have "gigs." Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival. Boys don't know how to adjust their conversation when they're talking to their friends or to your parents. They put parents on the same level as their peers and roll their eyes when your dad makes a terrible pun. Boys let your parents pay for dinner when you all go out. It's assumed."
Author: Mindy Kaling
37. "Leo Durocher was our manager and he brought Willie up to me and said, 'This is Willie Mays and he's your new roommate.' You could see right away that this young man was a natural. He had those real big hands, great power and speed and would catch everything hit in his direction. He's the best center fielder that ever lived, no question."
Author: Monte Irvin
38. "You're sure your new roommate won't be like the last one who wore tinfoil socks and had a tendency to occasionally urinate in the refrigerator. You're sure you'll pass Math 106 this time around. You're determined to actually join some clubs this year and not just sit around in your dorm eating spray cheese from a can and watching youtube videos about cats."
Author: Patrick Rothfuss
39. "Rose scowled. 'I should be the one staying. I should be Jill's roommate. No offense, Sydney. We need you for the paperwork, but I'm the one who's gotta kick anyone's ass who gives Jill trouble."
Author: Richelle Mead
40. "And these women were not concerned in the least that Kellan had roommates. In fact, I don't think they were even concerned that he had neighbors. Maybe they were operating under the false assumption that Kellan gave out awards for who could be the loudest... who was the more enthusiastic... who could say "Oh, God !" the most. Then again, maybe the jerk actually did give out prizes."
Author: S.C. Stephens
41. "There's no danger of me forgetting, but if you think the threat of a seven-foot-tall bear of a roommate is my only incentive for treating you well, maybe we should cancel dinner."
Author: Skye Callahan
42. "I can't write a line without music - it provides just the right amount of distraction to keep me focused. Clearly, I still miss the noisy roommates."
Author: Stacy Schiff
43. "When I was 16, I was in Boston and some friends said, 'You want to go to New York?,' I went with my roommate... These guys said, 'We're going to this club. Just don't go in the washroom.' It was CBGB. I had no idea what it was or the history of all the music. All I knew was this was my first 21-and-over club and I managed to get in!"
Author: Stana Katic
44. "Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?"
Author: Steven Wright
45. "What was meaningful? What was meaningless? What did it mean, to amount to something? What type of life, was worth living? Was it better, to make a ton of money, and have a fucking goddamn Mercedes, or whatever the fuck kind of car it was, to be a lawyer with a ‘serious' job, and to have ‘amounted to something,' or was it better to just be a waiter, and work the evening shift, and have your days free to goof off with your roommates, your friends, to go to meditation, to take some time to reflect, and enjoy life, and to not always be in such a big goddamn rush to get somewhere?"
Author: T. Scott McLeod
46. "We talked--recent history only--and Lucas relayed the story of how Francis came to be his roommate. "He showed up at the door one night, demanding to be let in. Napped on the sofa for an hour, then demanded to be let out. It turned into a nightly ritual, with him staying longer and longer, until at some point I realized he'd moved in. He's basically the most brazen squatter ever."
Author: Tammara Webber
47. "I even lived on campus to get the college experience. I had five roommates and I still keep in touch with them while I'm on the road."
Author: Tatyana Ali
48. "She told her therapist it reminded her of coming home the summer after her freshman year at Rutgers, stepping back into the warm bath of family and friends, loving it for a week or two, and then feeling trapped, dying to return to school, missing her roommates and her cute new boyfriend, the classes and the parties and the giggly talks before bed, understanding for the first time that that was her real life now, that this, despite everything she'd ever loved about it, was finished for good."
Author: Tom Perrotta
49. "His first question shows how well he knows me: TheRoommate: "Did you take any money out of her purse?"
Author: Tucker Max
50. "I have a Ph.D. in philosophy and sports science. At 14, I went through this really tough Soviet training system. A lot of my roommates got psychologically broken or physically injured. Either you came through, or you were out. I made my Ph.D. work in the field of young athletes aged 14-19 because at this age any human is changing."
Author: Wladimir Klitschko

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In ridiculing a pathetic human fallacy, which seeks explanation where none need be sought and which multiplies unnecessary assumptions, one should not mimic primitive ontology in order to challenge it. Better to dispose of the needless assumption altogether. This holds true for everything from Noah's flood to the Holocaust."
Author: Christopher Hitchens

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