Top Sausage Quotes

Browse top 98 famous quotes and sayings about Sausage by most favorite authors.

Favorite Sausage Quotes

1. "A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso."
Author: A. P. Herbert
2. "Sorry about your sausage dog."
Author: Alexander McCall Smith
3. "Profits, like sausages... are esteemed most by those who know least about what goes into them."
Author: Alvin Toffler
4. "Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"
Author: Andy Rooney
5. "The hour [...] can be anywhere between three and six o'clock in the afternoon. The general rule is that the earlier tea is served, the lighter the refreshments. At three, tea is usually a snack -- dainty finger sandwiches, petits fours, fresh strawberrries; at six, it can be a meal -- or "high" tea -- with sausage rolls, salads, and trifle."
Author: Angela Hynes
6. "Sister Walburga ate some of the sausage she was taking upriver for the anchorites, but you'd think from her distress that she was a Horseman of the Apocalypse and the Whore of Babylon rolled into one."
Author: Ariana Franklin
7. "Times like this, I don't wish for ignorance. I look around and I see the bloated ignorance of the lumpen proletariat: roly-poly, sausage-fingered, ginger-topped fathers of at least two illegitimate children trying to massage the asses of waiflike, peroxide-scarred students who are themselves trying to navigate adulthood with their new-found freedom from outdated parenting."
Author: Ayize Jama Everett
8. "Get to the Point: Vampire Contributions in Western Architecture. Fangs and Balances: Vampire Politicians in History. To Drink or Not to Drink: A Vampire Dialectic. Blood Sausage, Blood Stew, Blood Orange: Food for All Seasons. And the awfully named Plasmatlas, which contained maps of important vampire locales."
Author: Chloe Neill
9. "I do adore food. If I have any vice it's eating. If I was told I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, I could put up with sausage and mash forever."
Author: Colin Baker
10. "I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible as I lay the sausage against my ear. Abruptly, my cell phone went dead. A drop of grease dribbled into the dead center of my ear, creeping like a worm down onto my neck and below the collar of my shirt. A group of men and women in business suits walked by, swerving to avoid me. Across the street, a homeless-looking guy was staring at me, curious. Yep, this was pretty much rock bottom. As I was about to reach for a napkin and at least get my money's worth by eating the bratwurst while still hot, I heard it. "Dave? Can you hear me?"
Author: David Wong
11. "I kind of feel like I've been eating professionally for a long time. I've tasted everything. If there's a sausage, you know what? I know exactly what it tastes like. I love them all. But right now it's more important for me to not have all that grease and fat in my body."
Author: Duff Goldman
12. "They're not waiters, they're house-elves. I read about them yesterday," Ralph said, happily munching half a sausage. The other half was speared on the end of his fork, which he used like a pointer, indicating the elves. "They work downstairs. They're like the elves in that kids' story. The ones that came at night and did all the work for the cobbler."
Author: G. Norman Lippert
13. "I am sorry to have to introduce the subject of Christmas. It is an indecent subject; a cruel, gluttonous subject; a drunken, disorderly subject; a wasteful, disastrous subject; a wicked, cadging, lying, filthy, blasphemous and demoralizing subject. Christmas is forced on a reluctant and disgusted nation by the shopkeepers and the press: on its own merits it would wither and shrivel in the fiery breath of universal hatred; and anyone who looked back to it would be turned into a pillar of greasy sausages."
Author: George Bernard Shaw
14. "I am at length joined to Bologna, where I am settled like a sausage."
Author: George Gordon Byron
15. "Peddlers were selling dog sausages, roast onions, and unborn puppies on a stick,"
Author: George R.R. Martin
16. "You always had an eye for the fellow with a decent helping of sausage and hard-boiled eggs."
Author: Gregory Maguire
17. "Behind all sorrows in the world Klepp saw a ravenous hunger; all human suffering, he believed, could be cured with a portion of blood sausage. What quantities of fresh blood sausage with rings of onion, washed down with beer, Oskar consumed in order to make his friend think his sorrow's name was hunger and not Sister Dorothy."
Author: Günter Grass
18. "A novel is like a sausage. You might like the final taste but you don't want to see how it was made."
Author: Harlan Coben
19. "I need scarcely say that when I am off duty or on vacation I have little inclination to laugh: the cowhand is glad when he can forget the cow, the bricklayer when he can forget the mortar, and carpenters usually have doors at home which don't work or drawers which are hard to open. Confectioners like sour pickles, butchers like marzipan, and the baker prefers sausage to bread; bullfighters raise pigeons for a hobby, boxers turn pale when their children have nosebleeds: I find all this quite natural, for I never laugh off duty. I am a very solemn person, and people consider me - perhaps rightly so - a pessimist.("The Laugher")"
Author: Heinrich Böll
20. "A party is like a sausage machine, it grinds up all sorts of heads together into the same baloney ..."
Author: Henrik Ibsen
21. "Kate makes good sausage," Jim said.Six pairs of eyes stared at me. Thank you, Mr. Wonderful. Just what I needed."Oh yeah," Andrea snapped her fingers. "The links? The ones we had the beginning of the month? I didn't know you made those. I thought they were bought. They were so good." Her smile was positively cherubic. Of all the times not to be able to shoot laser beams out of my eyes..."What do you put into your sausage, Kate?" Raphael wanted to know, giving me a perfectly innocent look.Werejaguars with big mouths with a pinch of werehyena thrown in. "Venison and rabbit.""That sounds like some fine sausage," Doolittle said. "Will you share the recipe?""Sure.""I had no idea you were a sausage expert," Curran said with a completely straight face.Die, die, die, die...Even Derek cracked a smile. Raphael put his head down on the table and jerked a little."Is he choking?" Dali asked, wrinkling her forehead."No, he just needs a moment," Curran said. "Young bouda males. Easily excitable."
Author: Ilona Andrews
22. "Knowing Gary, he probably caught sight of one of those thick, furry sausage things they have on the end of the ropes one day and just couldn't resist giving it a tug."
Author: J.L. Merrow
23. "I make love like I sell sausages to strange women. One at a time, and always covered with a condom (to keep the flies away)."
Author: Jarod Kintz
24. "All the ideas in the universe can be described by words. Therefore, if you simply take all the words and rearrange them randomly enough times, you're bound to hit upon at least a few great ideas eventually. Sausage donkey swallows flying guillotine, my love assembly line."
Author: Jarod Kintz
25. "I threw out my sausage, and replaced it with a healthier penis metaphor, like a cucumber."
Author: Jarod Kintz
26. "I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool."
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
27. "The true heart of Carolyn's farm was her kitchen, where sausages and pungent dog treats lay scattered over they counters, along with collars, magazines and books, trial application forums, checks from her students (Carolyn, not big on details, often left them lying around for months), leashes, and dog toys. Pots of coffee were always brewing, and dog people could be found sitting around her big wooden table at all hours. Devon and I were always welcome there, and he grew to love going around the table from person to person, collecting pats and treats. Troubled dogs were familiar at the table, and appreciated. If we couldn't bring our dogs many places, we could always bring them here."
Author: Jon Katz
28. "Is your head bothering you?" Louisa asked. But she wasn't paying much attention. Frederick, her ridiculously fat basset hounds, had spotted a fellow canine in the distance and was yanking on the lead. "Frederick!" she yelped, tripping on a step or two before she found her footing.Frederick stopped, althought it wasn't clear if it was due to Louisa's hold on the lead or outright exhaustion. He let out a hugh sigh, and frankly, Annabel was suprised that he didn't collapse on the ground."I think someone has been sneaking him sausages again," Louisa grumbled.Annabel looked elsewhere."Annabel!""He looked so HUNGERY," Annabel insisted.Louisa motioned toward her dog, whos belly slid along the grass. "THAT looks hungery?""His eyes looked hungery."
Author: Julia Quinn
29. "There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger's origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes."
Author: Kenneth Grahame
30. "But, look, it is good to have a dream so long as you do not let it gnaw at the substance of your present. I have seen men consumed by their dreams, and it is a sour business. If you cling too tightly to a dream—a poodle bitch or a personal sausage chef or whatever—then you miss the felicity of your heart beating and the smell of the grass growing and the sounds lizards make when you run through the neighborhood with our friend. Your dream should be like a favorite old bone that you savor and cherish and chew upon gently. Then, rather than stealing from you a wasted sigh or the life of an idle hour, it nourishes you, and you become strangely contented by nostalgia for a possible future, so juicy with possibility and redolent of sautéed garlic and decadent slabs of bacon that you feel full when you've eaten nothing. And then, one fine day when the sun smiles upon your snout, then the time is right, you bite down hard. The dream is yours. And then youchew on the next one."
Author: Kevin Hearne
31. "Miranda ate four slices of greasy, fatty bacon, two sausage links, and a soft cheese Danish every morning, and washed it down with a tall latte from Starbucks (two raw sugars, remember!). As far as I could tell, the office was divided on whether she was permanently on the Atkins diet or just lucky enough to have a superhuman metabolism, the result of some pretty fantastic genes. Either way, she thought nothing of devouring the fattiest, the most sickeningly unhealthy foods--even though the rest of us weren't exactly afforded the same luxury."
Author: Lauren Weisberger
32. "I warn you that when the princes of this world start loving you it means they are going to grind you up into battle sausage."
Author: Louis Ferdinand Céline
33. "That bar also delineated the realm of sweat and hourly wage, the working world that college was educating me to leave. Rewards in that realm were few. No one congratulated you for clocking out. Your salary was spare. The Legion served as recompense. So the physical comforts you bouth there—hot boudain sausage and cold beer—had value. You attended the place, by which I mean you not only went there but gave it attention your job didn't deserve. Pool got shot not as metaphor for some corporate battle, but as itself alone. And the spiritual comforts-friendship, for instance—couldn't be confused with payback for something you'd accomplished, for in the Legion everybody punched the same clock, drew the same wage, won the same prize."
Author: Mary Karr
34. "No sausage?" he asked.Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record."
Author: Maureen Johnson
35. "Her parents exchanged an odd glance. Her mother's lips curved. "Yes, I imagine that he possesses a rather large cannon," she said, spearing hersausage with a fork."
Author: Meljean Brook
36. "The nauseating liquid choked the dog's breathing and his head began to spin, then his legs collapsed and he seemed to be moving sideways. This is it, he thought dreamily as he collapsed on to the sharp slivers of glass. Goodbye, Moscow! I shan't see Chichkin or the proletarians or Cracow sausages again. I'm going to the heaven for long-suffering dogs. You butchers – why did you have to do this to me? With that he finally collapsed on to his back and passed out." Chapter 2"
Author: Mikhail Bulgakov
37. "I had to persuade a dog to swallow a pill. I twittered for advice and I got suggestion after suggestion. Most of them didn't work. 'Put the pill in the sausage.' No - that doesn't work. 'Cheese.' No.Then someone said: 'You wrap it in butter and it will slide down.'I tried it and it worked!And I'd learnt how to give a pill to a dog through the magic of Twitter."
Author: Neil Gaiman
38. "Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made."
Author: Otto Von Bismarck
39. "He'd woken up after flying from Boston to Montana to find his da cooking breakfast for them: sausage and pancakes shaped like deer. It wasn't just any deer, either - they looked like Bambi from the disney cartoon. Charles didn't want to know how his father had managed that"
Author: Patricia Briggs
40. "How do you say 'bring me sausage and eggs or I'll slit your throat' in Italian?""Look it up in the phrase book."
Author: Regina Doman
41. "Whoever would have guessed that in the land of cheap sausages and mashed potatoes there could be such a change which would actually bring the French from Paris every weekend to invade Britain en masse to eat great food and drink great wine."
Author: Robin Leach
42. "Tadas was sent to the principal today," announced Jonas at dinner. He wedged a huge piece of sausage into his small mouth."Why?" I asked."Because he talked about hell," sputtered Jonas, juice from the plump sausage dribbling down his chin."Jonas, don't speak with your mouth full. Take smaller pieces," scolded Mother."Sorry," said Jonas with his moth stuffed. "It's good." He finished chewing. I took a bite of sausage. It was warm and the skin was deliciously salty."Tadas told one of the girls that hell is the worst place ever and there's no escape for all eternity.""Now why would Tadas be talking of hell?" asked Papa, reaching for the vegetables."Because his father told him that if Stalin comes to Lithuania, we'll all end up there."
Author: Ruta Sepetys
43. "Just one question, you arrogant fucking cocksnocker" said Locke, "I'll grant the Lamora part is easy to spot; the truth is, I didn't know about the apt translation when I took the name. I borrowed it from this old sausage dealer who was kind to me once, back in Catchfire before the plague. I just liked the way it sounded."But what the fuck" he said slowly, "ever gave you the idea that Locke was the first name I was actually born with?"
Author: Scott Lynch
44. "Out, beefy. The women folk have work to do." Bish laughed and pointed to himself. "I'm beefy, I suppose." "Well, no one else in this room has his arms stuffed into his sleeves like sausage casings, now do they?"
Author: Shelly Crane
45. "I want a man who is sunny-side up, with a large sausage, and two hot buns."
Author: Sierra Cartwright
46. "You should see my corgis at sunset in the snow. It's their finest hour. About five o'clock they glow like copper. Then they come in and lie in front of the fire like a string of sausages."
Author: Tasha Tudor
47. "They don't go in for the fancy or exotic, but stick to conventional food like flightless bird embryos, minced organs in intestine skins, slices of hog flesh and burnt ground grass seeds dipped in animal fats; or, as it is known in their patois, egg, sausage, bacon and a fried slice of toast."
Author: Terry Pratchett
48. "Mr Dibbler can even sell sausages to people that have bought them off him before … And a man who could sell Mr Dibbler's sausages twice could sell anything"
Author: Terry Pratchett
49. "I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages."
Author: Tristan MacManus
50. "[Prince Humperdinck] was seventy-five minutes away from his first female murder, and he wondered if he could get his fingers to her throat before even the start of a scream. He had been practicing on giant sausages all the afternoon and had the movements down pretty pat, but then, giant sausages weren't necks and all the wishing in the world wouldn't make them so."
Author: William Goldman

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Ostriches like shiny things like coins and eyeballs."
Author: Charise Mericle Harper

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