Top Screw You Quotes

Browse top 303 famous quotes and sayings about Screw You by most favorite authors.

Favorite Screw You Quotes

1. "Definitely not," Talon said. "If you screw up like that, you don't get another chance." "But what if he really loves her and it was a mistake?" "It wasn't," Talon said firmly. "He'd keep his cockadoodle in his pants if he loved her. He wouldn't hurt the person he loved. And she should leave his ass for her own good."
Author: Aggy Bird
2. "North," said the face beneath the sheet. "I belong to the National Association of Broadcasting Employees and Technicians. If you wake me up before I've slept twelve hours, I get paid short turnaround.""But Rose--""If you wake me up before seven hours, I get to push a screwdriver into your lungs."— from "The Scarred Man"
Author: Andrew Klavan
3. "Garlic is divine. Few food items can taste so many distinct ways, handled correctly. Misuse of garlic is a crime...Please, treat your garlic with respect...Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don't deserve to eat garlic."
Author: Anthony Bourdain
4. "I remember playing John Wayne Gacy, serial killer, very sick, neurotic, screwed-up guy. You know what? There's a part of me there, too, and you explore that."
Author: Brian Dennehy
5. "We have a mutual friend, see, and she- Ah, screw it. This is Gideon. When would it be convenient for you to die?"
Author: Bryan Lee O'Malley
6. "I know that whenever someone tells you they are doing 'what's best for you', you're screwed. Those are not words you want to hear. It's right up there with 'it's not you it's me'."
Author: Caroline Hanson
7. "She winced and covered her ears as Eric,onstage, wrestled with his microphone."Sorry about that, guys!" he yelled. "All right. I'm Eric, and this is my homeboy Matt on the drums. My first poem is called 'Untitled.'" He screwed up his face as if in pain, and wailed into the mike. "Come my faux juggernaut, my nefarious loins! Slather every protuberance with arid zeal!"Simon slid down in his seat. "Please don't tell anyone I know him."Clary giggled. "Who uses the word 'loins'?""Eric," Simon said grimly. "All his poems have loins in them."'Turgid is my torment!" Eric wailed. "Agony swells within!""You bet it does," Clary said."
Author: Cassandra Clare
8. "Scully-''I screwed up.' Her hands again. 'Damnit, I screwed up.''Nope' [Mulder] said... 'If I was dead, then you would have screwed up.' She saw the grin. 'Then I'd have to haunt you.''Mulder that's not funny.''But you don't believe in ghosts and goblins..."
Author: Charles Grant
9. "Still i knew because of my own feelings there was something wrong with me and i knew it wasnt only me. I knew it was everybody. It was like a bacteria or a cancer or a trance. It wasnt on the skin, it was in the soul. It showed itself in lonliness, lust, anger , jealousy and depression. It had people screwed up bad everywhere you went- at the store, at home, at church, it was ugly and deep. Lots of singers on the radio were singing about it and cops had jobs because of it. It was as if we were broken I thought, as if we were never supposed to feel these sticky emotions. It was as if we were cracked, coudlnt love right, couldnt feel good things for a long before screwing it all up. I am talking about the broken quality of life."
Author: Donald Miller
10. "The karmic philosophy appeals to me on a metaphorical level because even in ones lifetime it's obvious how often we must repeat our same mistakes, banging our heads against the same ole addictions and compulsions, generating the same old miserable and often catastrophic consequences, until we can finally stop and fix it. This is the supreme lesson of karma ( and also of western psychology, by the way)- take care of the problem now, or else you'll just have to suffer again later when you screw everything up the next time. And that repetition of suffering-that's hell. Moving out of that endless repetition to a new level of understanding-there's where you'll find heaven."
Author: Elizabeth Gilbert
11. "That's what Jamie didn't understand: it was never just sex. Even the fastest, dirtiest, most impersonal screw was about more than sex. It was about connection. It was about looking at another human being and seeing your own loneliness and neediness reflected back. It was recognising that together you had the power to temporarily banish that sense of isolation. It was about experiencing what it was to be human at the basest, most instinctive level. How could that be described as just anything?"
Author: Emily Maguire
12. "A century ago, life screwed that poor man and me because we were too young, and now they want to do the same thing because we are too old."
Author: Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez
13. "Tabitha blinked innocently. "Why is your consort speaking to me without my having addressed him first?" she asked Kaia. "Have you not taught him the proper order of things?"So the little man wasn't supposed to speak to the women folk without an invitation? Screw that. "Just stay out of my head, Harpy, or I'll make sure you regret it. By the way, how's the leg?"She hissed at him.Win!"
Author: Gena Showalter
14. "What the f*ck do you want from me?"He had to laugh. "Please. If I were running this show, you'd have had her back down here months ago and I'd be long f*cking gone."Tohr laughed a little in surprise."Aw, come on, my man," Lassiter muttered. "I don't want to screw you. You're too flat chested, for one thing—I'm a boob man. And for another, you're a good guy. You deserve better than this."Now Tohr looked downright shocked."
Author: J.R. Ward
15. "Rule, she's always been an Archer. Putting a rock on her finger is just a formality. No one doubts how much you care about her, or that you are committed to her and her alone. Screw her obnoxious family and whatever headache Mom and Dad might want to cause, your want her forever, ask her."
Author: Jay Crownover
16. "Not to worry, Phillip," Father O'Toole said. "I was just inquiring as to what authority they—" He stopped abruptly, jumping forward as the wall phone came unhinged behind him, dangling by a corner screw."Huh," Gil pondered. "Look at that.""What happened?" Father O'Toole asked."The phone fell," Gil answered."Well, naturally! I'm not blind, young man. I'm asking how the phone fell!""I blame gravity," Gil offered. (Excerpt from Whisper of Light)"
Author: Jennifer DeLucy
17. "All right ... anyone who gets into one of these cars outside is in it for the long haul … If you even think you're not ready to put your life on the line for everyone here, then you stay behind. If you screw us out there, I will end you." He flashed a rather charming smile. "And I will probably enjoy it."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
18. "You got a problem?" he drawled, obviously expecting me to pee my pants before falling to the ground and groveling like an unworthy subject of the Emperor. And that was all it took. A new, screw-you attitude took precedence, trampling my fear under its boots. A highly dangerous approach, I still found it much easier to bear."Well it all goes back to my childhood…." I began,"
Author: Jennifer Rardin
19. "Screw you! You're a crappy best friend!!!"
Author: Jenny Han
20. "People just expect you to show up, be a cartoon character of yourself, take your money and go home. But don't screw up to the point where you're gonna be out of the picture."
Author: Jimmy Chamberlin
21. "Marie's drunk texts:Marie: Horse, muss yuMarie: Why dont anser?Marie: Horse like yur name. Horsey. I'd like to rid u horsey, LOL. You sleeping? Or busy with someone?Marie: I know yur there. I bet you got a new gurl alredy. Screw you.Marie: Screw you and your slut. I hate you. Take yur club and shove it up yur ass I wudn't be yoor old lady for ten milion dollrs."
Author: Joanna Wylde
22. "Guys just don't care. We don't take the time to plan behind each other's back. We just say, If you don't like me, screw you'. If a guy doesn't like you, you know because you have a black eye."
Author: Jonathan Bennett
23. "I may have overmothered you and screwed you up in ways large and small, but I think it's time you took some measure of responsibility for where you choose to put your own penis."
Author: Jonathan Tropper
24. "You probably should get back out there. You're ignoring your other guests.""Screw them.""I'm sure that many of them, you already have."
Author: Julie James
25. "I rubbed my hand over my face before glancing at Echo. A hint of her cleavage peeked from her shirt. Damn, she was sexy as hell. I wanted her, badly. Would one night be enough, even if she gave it to me? Echo already felt like a heavy drug. The kind I avoided on purpose—crack, heroin, meth. The ones that screwed with your mind, crept into your blood and left you powerless, helpless. If she gave her body to me, would i be able to let go or would i be sucked into that black veil, hooks embedded into my skin, sentenced to death by the emotion i reserved for my brothers-love?"
Author: Katie McGarry
26. "Screw caution," Tori said. "I'm outta here." We looked at her. "Well, I am. As long as someone comes with me." We kept looking at her. She sighed. "Fine, but when everything goes to hell, just remember, I get to blame you guys, because I wanted to leave right away."
Author: Kelley Armstrong
27. "So are you an inmate or a rubbernecker?" she asks."Rubbernecker," I answer without hesitation. "You?""I'm a screw. Or on staff, anyway. Used to be an inmate. Repeat offender. Crimes against my body. Puking sickness followed by heroin, which led to more puking sickness." I'd be surprised at her forthrightness, but that's addicts for you. The twelve steps crack 'em open and then they can't shut up."
Author: Lauren Beukes
28. "You need to screw up to learn. You need to experience to create greatness."
Author: Laurie Faria Stolarz
29. "Hi, I got a letter from Lilith. Folded and sealed with red wax. Very medieval," Anouk's voice announced."What does it say?"I heard the rustle of paper. Then Anouk snorted. "It doesn't say anything. It's blank.""Hmm, really? How resourceful. I guess, it's either her version of 'no comment' or 'screw you'.""Probably the latter."
Author: Natalie Herzer
30. "I know I'm one royal screw up, and god knows there's nothing I could ever do to deserve you," he began, taking my hand in his after sliding the ring free from the chain."But I want you, Lucy Larson. Bad. I want you forever. The kind of bad I have for you isn't the kind that goes away." His forehead lined, his eyes washing silver. "Ease my suffering. Make me the happiest, most tortured man in the world. Marry me?"
Author: Nicole Williams
31. "Suzanne Collins, it was such a big thing for me to make the handshake with her and to say, 'You can trust me. I will not screw up your books. And I won't let them be diluted and softened. And I won't let them be exploited and made guilty of the sins that are being commented on in the books.' I take that really seriously."
Author: Nina Jacobson
32. "Love can really screw you up before you figure out how to live with it. And once you do? You wonder how the hell you ever lived without it"
Author: Nora Roberts
33. "Pilots were not excused all these rigorous new checks, and when Woodie Menear's turn came, the security screener expressed concern about the presence of a pair of tweezers in his cabin baggage. As it happened, tweezers – unlike corkscrews or metal scissors, for example – were not on the list of forbidden items; Menear was not breaching regulations by trying to bring them on board. But the official paused just long enough to spark frustration on the part of the pilot, who, like his colleagues, had been growing ever more exasperated by each new restriction. This time it was too much. Menear did not explode in rage; he merely asked a sarcastic question. But it was one that would lead to his immediate arrest, a night in jail, his suspension by US Airways, and months of legal wranglings before he was finally acquitted of ‘making terroristic threats' and permitted to return to his job. ‘Why are you worried about tweezers,' Menear asked, ‘when I could crash the plane?"
Author: Oliver Burkeman
34. "When we got to the part where we had to improvise an argument in a poetic language, I got cold feet. "I can't do this," I said. "I don't know what to say.""Say anything," he said. "You can't make a mistake when you improvise.""What if I mess it up? What if I screw up the rhythm?""You can't," he said. "It's like drumming. If you miss a beat, you create another."In this simple exchange, Sam taught me the secret of improvisation, one that I have accessed my whole life."
Author: Patti Smith
35. "When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you."
Author: Randy Pausch
36. "Putting his mouth close to her ear, he said, "I'm going to ride you raw, baby, but you won't care. It's going to feel so good, all you'll be able to think about is getting me back inside you. Keeping me here, packed up tight and deep, screwing into you so hard you go hoarse from your screams . . ."
Author: Rhyannon Byrd
37. "We all screw up. Everyone makes mistakes. That's what she did. It was bad judgment, that's all. You don't cut off the people you love for mistakes like that."
Author: Richelle Mead
38. "Dad told Uncle Seth not to screw things up," she informed me as we washed our hands. "He said even if Uncle Seth is famous, him getting a woman like you defies belief."I laughed and smoothed down the skirt of my dress. "I don't know about that. I don't think your dad gives your uncle enough credit."Brandy gave me a sage look, worthy of someone much older. "Uncle Seth spent last Valentine's Day at a library."
Author: Richelle Mead
39. "I walked among Shadows, and found a race of furry creatures, dark and clawed and fanged, reasonably manlike, and about as intelligent as a freshman in the high school of your choice-sorry, kids, but what I mean is they were loyal, devoted, honest, and too easily screwed by bastards like me and my brother. I felt like the dee-jay of your choice."
Author: Roger Zelazny
40. "Dalek Sec: The Doctor will open the Ark! The Doctor: Ha ha, the Doctor will not. Dalek Sec: You have no way of resisting! The Doctor: Mm, you got me there. [withdrawing the sonic screwdriver] Although, there is always this. Dalek Sec: A sonic probe? The Doctor: [with jocular bravado] That's screwdriver. Dalek Sec: It is harmless. The Doctor: Ohh, yes. Harmless is just the word: that's why I like it! Doesn't kill, doesn't wound, doesn't maim. But I'll tell you what it does do: It is very good at opening doors. [He pushes the switch and the doors explode inwards; Jake's squad and some Cybermen run in and open fire.]"
Author: Russell T. Davies
41. "Believe me, Clara. It would be very easy to lay you back down, ease myself inside you, and fuck you senseless. But I can't just screw you on some random couch where anyone could walk in on us. And I can't screw you while the room is spinning and I'm slightly shitfaced. I don't even want to screw you. I want to make love to you. The slow, sweet, all night long kind of love."
Author: Sarah Darlington
42. "If I wasn't mated, and wasn't straight, and you were a Mage, and we hadn't made that pact for friendship's sake, I would totally screw you."
Author: Scarlett Dawn
43. ""Screw the oath." I lean in until I feel her breath against my face, then I stop. I don't want to rush her. "You've done enough for them. You're protecting me. Who cares about the rest?""I do." She closes her eyes,and her jaw quivers. "I swore to get you safely through this-and I will. And then you'll return with the Gales and meet your betrothed.""They can take their betrothal and shove it. I want you."Audra and Vane"
Author: Shannon Messenger
44. "If everyone does as I've instructed, then things should work out the way they're meant to. (Acheron)And if we don't? (Talon)We're all screwed. (Acheron)Gee, Ash, you're just so damn comforting. (Nick)I try to be anyway. (Acheron)You fail admirably. (Nick)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
45. "How long till our powers are back? (Kat)A few hours according to last time. (Sin)Sweet, and we have how long till the bitches awake? (Kat)Less than two. (Sin)Can you say screwed, boys and girls? Yes, I thought you could. (Kat)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
46. "I'll check on you when I get home. I love you, baby. (Kiefer)I love you too, Daddy. (Kiara)What the hell was that action? (Syn)I think it's something called ‘paternal concern.' (Nykyrian)What…? You sure? I thought that crap was a myth. (Syn)No, really. I watched it once in a documentary. It was fascinating. Believe it or not, there are people out there who actually have feelings for their progeny. (Nykyrian)Get the fuck out. No way. You're screwing with my head again, aren't you? (Syn)No, I swear. You just saw it with your own eyes. I did not make that shit up. (Nykyrian)Yeah but it's really messing with my concept of the natural order of the universe. Paternal love? What's next? Limb regrowth? Genetic splicing reversals? (Syn)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
47. "For making Adron human again. It's been a long time. (Tiernan)Screw you, Tier. (Adron)Yeah, bro, since when was Adron ever human? More like a festering subspecies of some kind. You know. Like a pimple on the ass of a warthog. (Taryn)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
48. "It's easy to screw around with people you don't care about. There's nothing at stake. But playing that game with someone who fills a special place in your life? Someone who could leave a hole in your heart if he vanished? That's a huge risk. Even more so to a woman who is extremely sensitive."
Author: Skye Jordan
49. "I can let you in, Eva. I'm trying. But your first response when I screw up is to run away. You do it every time and I can't stand feeling like any moment I'm going to do or say something wrong and you're going to bolt."
Author: Sylvia Day
50. "Every night is Christmas Eve on old East Main,Sailors and their sweethearts all agree.Neon signs of red and greenShine upon the friendly scene,Welcoming you in from off the sea.Santa's bag is filled with all your dreams come true:Nickel beers that sparkle like champagne,Barmaids who all love to screw,All of them reminding youIt's Christmas Eve on old East Main."
Author: Thomas Pynchon

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I love a man who has lived a full life and lived on the edge."
Author: Carmen Electra

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