Top Sex Jokes Quotes

Browse top 19 famous quotes and sayings about Sex Jokes by most favorite authors.

Favorite Sex Jokes Quotes

1. "I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers."
Author: Armistead Maupin
2. "Why fantasize about what you already experience? I go to the written word for places and faces that I don't get at home. Hot people in hot climates. Sex acts I can hardly imagine. Porn is about the unachievable ... and, therefore, the inherently desirable."
Author: Belle De Jour
3. "Well I don't think sex and violence have ever stopped a movie from being mainstream."
Author: David Cronenberg
4. "The first two facts which a healthy boy or girl feels about sex are these: first that it is beautiful and then that it is dangerous."
Author: G.K. Chesterton
5. "The same authorities who insist upon beginnings, middles, and ends, declare that Great Literature (by which they mean the stories they have been taught to admire) is about love and death, while mere popular fiction like this is about sex and violence. One reader's sex, alas, is another's love; and one's violence, another's death."
Author: Gene Wolfe
6. "... she took her husband's jokes and joviality as patiently as everything else, considering that "men would be so", and viewing the stronger sex in the light of animals whom it had pleased Heaven to make naturally troublesome, like bulls and turkey-cocks."
Author: George Eliot
7. "The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda."
Author: Heywood Broun
8. "I had sex with Jett because I was attracted to him. Jett hired me because he wanted me. It was lust at first sight."
Author: J.C. Reed
9. "A mechanical toothbrush is the greatest oral device in the history of the sex toy industry."
Author: Jarod Kintz
10. "I always give books. And I always ask for books. I think you should reward people sexually for getting you books. Don't send a thank-you note, repay them with sexual activity. If the book is rare or by your favorite author or one you didn't know about, reward them with the most perverted sex act you can think of. Otherwise, you can just make out."
Author: John Waters
11. "In Psycho IV, the time is five years after III, and Norman is out of the hospital. He's a married man, and he's finally learned how to love somebody and have natural sex without killing his lover."
Author: Joseph Stefano
12. "Evolution has programmed our brains to find two things particularly interesting, and therefore memorable: jokes and sex - and especially, it seems, jokes about sex."
Author: Joshua Foer
13. "It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour."
Author: Keenen Ivory Wayans
14. "What does she look like?" Sin asked."Like she'd look good on a mattress."Sin jammed her fists on her hips. "That tells me nothing, and aren't you mated?""I'm also a sex demon. I didn't go blind when I took a mate."
Author: Larissa Ione
15. "Our sisters and brothers were picked up in public by local commanders for the purpose of sex and luxury and we could do nothing."
Author: M.F. Moonzajer
16. "[She] knew there were women who worked successfully out of the home. They ran businesses, created empires and managed to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted children who went on to graduate magna cum laude from Harvard or became world-renowned concert pianists. Possibly both. These women accomplished all this while cooking gourmet meals, furnishing their homes with Italian antiques, giving clever, intelligent interviews with Money magazine and People, and maintaining a brilliant marriage with an active enviable sex life and never tipping the scale at an ounce over their ideal weight... She knew those women were out there. If she'd had a gun, she'd have hunted every last one of them down and shot them like rabid dogs for the good of womankind."
Author: Nora Roberts
17. "As a culture I see us as presently deprived of subtleties. The music is loud, the anger is elevated, sex seems lacking in sweetness and privacy."
Author: Shelley Berman
18. "The meaning of sex is illustrated by two eponymous heroes of British history, King Edward VII (who flourished in the years before the First World War) and the King Edward variety of potato which has fed the British working class for almost as long). The potato, unlike the royal family, reproduces asexually. Every King Edward potato is identical to every other and each on has the same set of genes as the hoary ancestor of all potatoes bearing that name. This is convenient for the farmer and the grocer, which is why sex is not encouraged among potatoes."
Author: Steve Jones
19. "The censor pretends he is protecting tender hearts, shielding children from sex and violence, keeping the righteous in the right path, guarding against temptation, preserving virtue. How? by burning books, tearing out tongues, stretching necks, stoning women; through torture and imprisonment; by threats of violence against the victim's friends and family; by force-feeding his own people a philosophy not only false and wicked now but false and wicked the day it was first announced by some imaginary lord and used to purchase or preserve his privileges and hoodwink the world."
Author: William H. Gass

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Of course, one person can be the world."
Author: Ally Condie

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