Top Shitty Quotes

Browse top 86 famous quotes and sayings about Shitty by most favorite authors.

Favorite Shitty Quotes

1. "That was a really shitty move Liam! How would you like it if I turned into an animal when we were arguing?"
Author: Abby Niles
2. "I hate that I got dealt shitty parents! I hate how you make me feel like scum! I hate that you're always running away from me! And I hate that I ever fucking gave you the power to destroy me!"
Author: Adriana Law
3. "C'mon, you're gonna get upset sometimes. Breaking up is a shitty business. Someone always gets hurt. This time it happens to be you."
Author: Alexandra Potter
4. "I had this coming. I just have to take my medicine. I think I'll spend the weekend brooding about what a shitty friend I am and mourning the loss of the friendship. I might have Ben & Jerry over to keep me company. Or maybe Ernest and Julio Gallo.""Hey, no threesomes unless I get to watch."
Author: Amelia C. Gormley
5. "They say that God never closes a door without opening a window.I hate that saying. Closing a door is an asshole move, and opening a window just means you can look at, but not take part in, whatever is on the other side. Or maybe the window is there so you can throw yourself out of it. Either way, it's a shitty deal, and why wouldn't you just kick the door back open?"
Author: Andra Brynn
6. "You two had something special – it's the circumstances that were shitty."
Author: Andrea Randall
7. "This is shitty to say, but there's not much pathos involved in a case like that. Think about it: Little So-and-so the Fourth drowns himself Tuesday night after receiving his midterm grades in the school of civil engineering. The body goes back to Westchester, and a lounge in the library or a nature path gets named after him, and a bunch of blue-blood kids remember him fondly. Sorry. There's about one story a year like that. Poor Billy Fuckup, Jr., in his Gap khakis, the pressure of going to classes all day really got to him. If I were a better person, I would have felt badly having seen things like that."
Author: Cara Hoffman
8. "Listen, kiddo," he said. "I'm a selfish prick, and I want to be the greatest fuck of your life and ruin you for every man who comes after me. But I'm not a mind reader, so I need some help. Otherwise I could end up as the douchebag who's got shitty taste in wine and totally traumatized you when you were thirty."
Author: Cara McKenna
9. "You can't drive them around in the getaway van.' 'How about we don't call it the getaway van? People might get suspicious.' 'So what should we call it?' 'How about the van?' 'It doesn't change what it is and that it's a shitty thing to do. Someone might see them in it."
Author: Cath Crowley
10. "Now look, she said, stretched out on the bed, I don't want anything personal, let's just do it, I don't want to get involved, got it? she kicked off her high-heeled shoes… sure, he said, standing there, let's just pretend that we've already done it, there's nothing less involved than that, is there? what the hell do you mean? she asked. I mean, he said, I'd rather drink anyhow. and he poured himself one. it was a lousy night in Vegas and he walked to the window and looked out at the dumb lights. you a fag? she asked, you a god damned fag? no, he said. you don't have to get shitty,..."
Author: Charles Bukowski
11. "She didn't brighten the whole room for me when she walked in the door. She didn't make my whole day better just by smiling at me, or make me ask myself what she would think of me when I said or did something shitty to somebody. She wasn't the one who made me want to get off my ass and do more, be a better person. Only you've ever done that, sunshine."
Author: Cherrie Lynn
12. "The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people's diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming."
Author: Cheryl Strayed
13. "Discount batteries are like shitty girlfriends/boyfriends. They are really great in the beginning, but before you know it, and without warning, they start to suck."
Author: Christian Pilosi
14. "And all I could do while I listened to this dude tell me how punk rock saved his life was think, Wow. Why did my friend waste all that time going to chemotherapy? I guess we should have just played him a bunch of shitty Black Flag records."
Author: Chuck Klosterman
15. "There is your car and the open road, the fabled lure of random adventure. You stand at the verge, and you could become anything. Your future shifts and warps with your smallest step, your shitty little whims. The man you will become is at your mercy."
Author: Dan Chaon
16. "To get over artist's block, make shitty art."
Author: Dave Horowitz
17. "Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?"
Author: Demetri Martin
18. "We're constantly judging and grading other parents, just to make sure that they aren't any better than us. I'm as guilty as anyone. I see some lady hand her kid a Nintendo DS at the supermarket and I instantly downgrade that lady to Shitty Parent status. I feel pressure to live up to a parental ideal that no one probably has ever achieved. I feel pressure to raise a group of human beings that will help America kick the shit out of Finland and South Korea in the world math rankings. I feel pressure to shield my kids from the trillion pages of hentai donkey porn out there on the Internet. I feel pressure to make the insane amounts of money needed for a supposedly 'middle-class' upbringing for the kids, an upbringing that includes a house and college tuition and health care and so many other expenses that you have to be a multimillionaire to afford it. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE."
Author: Drew Magary
19. "Until he turned twelve, Nimrod was a shitty person. The kind of whiner that, if he wasn't your best friend, you'd have kicked his ass a long time ago. And then one day, just before his bar mitzvah, they put insoles in his shoes, and suddenly the guy was a whole new human being."
Author: Etgar Keret
20. "The Devil got landed with a shitty job, he has to deal with assholes everyday, he's probably bored as hell."
Author: Gerard Way
21. "In these shitty plastic days ..."
Author: Gillian Flynn
22. "You know, just because you think bubblegum pop on the radio represents all that is wrong with society, that doesn't mean there's not someone out there who needs that shitty pop song. Maybe that shitty pop song makes them feel good, about themselves and the world. And as long as that shitty pop song doesn't infringe upon your rights to rock out to, I don't know, Subway Sect, or Siouxsie and the Banshees, or whichever old-ass band it is you worship, then who cares?"
Author: Hannah Harrington
23. "Somewhere, far, far away, there's a shitty island. An island without a name. An island not worth giving a name. A shitty island with a shitty shape. On this shitty island grow palm trees that also have shitty shapes. And the palm trees produce coconuts that give off a shitty smell. Shitty monkeys live in the trees, and they love to eat these shitty-smelling coconuts, after which they shit the world's foulest shit. The shit falls on the ground and builds up shitty mounds, making the shitty palm trees that grown on them even shittier. It's an endless cycle."
Author: Haruki Murakami
24. "If she in fact knows magic she needs to do a spell to adjust that shitty attitude she has all of a sudden," Nona said. "I may not be a witch, but I will knock her right off that broomstick if she keeps this up."
Author: Holly Hood
25. "I have tonight begun reading a stupid, shitty book by Kerouac called Big Sur, and I would give a ball to wake up tomorrow on some empty ridge with a herd of beatniks grazing in the clearing about 200 yards below the house. And then to squat with the big boomer and feel it on my shoulder with the smell of grease and powder and, later, a little blood."
Author: Hunter S. Thompson
26. "So I was thinking we should skip tomorrow, stay right here and watch shitty movies all day."My first response was to say I couldn't skip a whole day's worth of classes, but as I met Cam's mischievous gaze, I said screw it. "That's a brilliant idea.""I know, right?" He tapped his head. "I'm full of great shit.""Yeah, you're definitely full of it...""Ha."
Author: J. Lynn
27. "Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days from now? Well, that's a Monday, so I'll be feeling shitty."
Author: Jarod Kintz
28. "This is an important lesson to remember when you're having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won't feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can't feel real joy unless you've felt heartache. You can't have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can't know what it's like to feel holy until you know what it's like to feel really fucking evil. And you can't be birthed again until you've died."
Author: Kelly Cutrone
29. "I gotta go," I wheezed. "This is shitty, you know? How do you live like this?" "Rachel!" he cried, but it was too late,(Rachel and Al)"
Author: Kim Harrison
30. "I can sue you for harassment"."Lets play that fucking game." Lo replies "lets see whose lawyers are better. I'm a goddamn Hale. My family eats shitty fucks like you for brunch. Don't you ever force yourself on a girl ever again"
Author: Krista Ritchie
31. "Forgot about carin' about someone so much you would do everything in your power to stop them having' pain."…"And how fuckin' shitty it feels then there's nothin' you can do to stop it"
Author: Kristen Ashley
32. "My story isn't beautiful or tragic. It's just another story about a cursed girl living a shitty life."
Author: Lesley Anne Cowan
33. "All of it just confirmed his belief that his real life, the life he should be living, had been mislaid through some clerical error by the cosmic bureaucracy. This couldn't be it. It had been diverted elsewhere, to somebody else, and he'd been issued this shitty substitute faux life instead"
Author: Lev Grossman
34. "Why doesn't Prin go and get her own goddamn blistering bloody shitty jelly doughnuts?"
Author: Margaret Laurence
35. "And I understood why he didn't need friends or to be accepted at our shitty racist high school, because he had his music, and that was so much better than anything we had to offer."
Author: Matthew Quick
36. "But it makes me laugh every time because I don't wear and of that name-brand crap, don't play or follow popular sports at all, and wouldn't be found dead wearing our shitty school mascot. I'm not a follower. Not a joiner. I'm not even on Facebook."
Author: Matthew Quick
37. "...because I'm sure that as soon as things really get back to "normal," once our kids or grandkids grow up in a peaceful and comfortable world, they'll probably go right back to being as selfish and narrow-minded and generally shitty to one another as we were."
Author: Max Brooks
38. "Why are you not smarter? It's only the rich who can't afford to be smart. They're compromised. They got locked years ago into privilege. They have to protect their belongings. No one is meaner than the rich. Trust me. But they have to follow the rules of their shitty civilised world. They declare war, they have honour, and they can't leave. But you two. We three. We're free."
Author: Michael Ondaatje
39. "Then, lifting me up, his head fell back and he opened his mouth wide. "Once I let Lucy Larson into my heart! I was able to take my sad, shitty song and make it better!" he sung, off key and at full volume. Some of the students around us tipped their beers at him, some broke in during the "Nah, nah, nah," chorus, and a few looked at him like he was a crazy man.But I just laughed—I already knew he was crazy. And I loved him for it. "I think that's called taking creative liberties with the lyrics."
Author: Nicole Williams
40. "I'm sitting at the bar, rearranging the order of my jokes. I'm under the delusion that I'm having bad shows because of some cosmic misalignment of words, phrases, and ideas. I may as well have cast runes into a spirit bowl, hoping that the collective heart of the audience would open to my necromantic call. Maybe that's how jugglers do it. Those guys never have shitty sets."
Author: Patton Oswalt
41. "We're sick of hearing people say, "That band is so gay," or "Those guys are fags." Gay is not a synonym for shitty. If you wanna say something's shitty, say it's shitty. Stop being such homophobic assholes."
Author: Pete Wentz
42. "This is life." he says. "We have to take it as it comes, because even though some things are really shitty, there's a lot of good stuff too."
Author: Rebecca Serle
43. "You've got a shitty habit, you know it? I've noticed it on all those TV drive-safely pitches that you do. You breathe in people's ears. You sound like a stallion in heat, Philbrick. That's a shitty habit. You also sound like you're reading off a teleprompter, even when you're not. You ought to take care of stuff like that. You might save a life."
Author: Richard Bachman
44. "I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke—no offense—it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit—and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food—no offense—and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. When am I gonna need to cook tiramisu? Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fuckin' break! I'm sorry for cursing."
Author: Seth
45. "Yeah, I lied and I shouldn't have and it was lousy of me and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted that, and I wish so bad I could take it all back, okay? But we both know which one of us is lying now and it's not me. So you call me when you want to actually talk to me and not just yell at me or tell me what a shitty person I am. I already…yeah, I already know that, okay?"
Author: Stacia Kane
46. "Of course, the writer can impose control; It's just a really shitty idea. Writing controlled fiction is called "plotting." Buckling your seatbelt and letting the story take over, however... that is called "storytelling." Storytelling is as natural as breathing; plotting is the literary version of artificial respiration."
Author: Stephen King
47. "Sex is the strongest force in the universe. Forget about the Grand Unifying Theory, Stephen Hawking, I'll tell you what it is: women. Aren't women the strongest sex? What force is more magnetic than that? It's not just pussy. We're attracted to women for their energy. We're attracted to their fluidness, their ability to nurture a baby without even knowing how, to be able to put up with screaming and crying and colic and shitty diapers where men would go, "I'm fucking outta here! I'm gonna go kill me a saber-toothed woolly mammoth an'bring it on home to eat tonight. Wa-haaaaaa!" We don't have tits; we couldn't nourish a gnat."
Author: Steven Tyler
48. "Juliette, please, tell me what I'm supposed to do. How am I supposed to feel? It's one shitty thing right after another and I'm trying to be okay--God, I'm trying so hard but it's really freaking difficult and I miss--I miss you, I miss you so much it's killing me."
Author: Tahereh Mafi
49. "I don't wanna be def. Death. Dead. This Burger Twin nappykin just got served as my will, BEOTCH! The fries here suck, by the way. If I die, don't feed my son your shitty fries. Don't give my son to the creepy child molester king you put in your commercials either. What the fuck is wrong with that guy? He's got a normal body and a plastic face that is always smiley. It's not right, man. It's just not right. My ears feel funny."
Author: Tara Sivec
50. "I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the markWhen he made Pearl Harbor. I miss you more than that movie missed the pointAnd that's an awful lot, girl. And now, now you've gone awayAnd all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you.I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting schoolHe was terrible in that film. I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger partHe's way better than Ben Affleck. And now, all I can think about is your smileand that shitty movie, too. Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? I guess Pearl Harbor suckedjust a little bit more than I miss you."
Author: Trey Parker

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She drew others to her like acolytes only for them to discover she wasn't recruiting."
Author: Abraham Verghese

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