Top Single Life Funny Quotes

Browse top 25 famous quotes and sayings about Single Life Funny by most favorite authors.

Favorite Single Life Funny Quotes

1. "Frankly, I am quite tired of those who tout Christianity as a way to stop smoking or drinking or break wild habits of the world. Is that all Christianity is, to keep us from some bad habit? Of course, regeneration will clean us up, and the new birth will make a man right. If that is what Christianity is all about, what about the person whose life is not that bad? The purpose of God in redemption is to restore us again to the divine imperative of worship. We were created to worship, but sin destroyed that ability. Jesus Christ, on the cross, redeemed us and brought us back to the place where we now can worship and have fellowship with God Almighty. My clean life is a by-product of my conversion. My life may have pointed out to me that I needed a drastic change, but that is not the purpose for which I was converted. The essence of conversion is to bring me into a right relationship with God and have fellowship with Him."
Author: A.W. Tozer
2. "Only by binding together as a single force will we remain strong and unconquerable."
Author: Chris Bradford
3. "Mr. Speaker, from hurricanes and floods in Latin America to earthquakes in Asia, natural disasters are increasingly becoming a regular feature of life for large numbers of people around the globe."
Author: Earl Blumenauer
4. "At precisely nine in the morning, working with focus and stealth, our entire membership succeeded in simultaneously beheading no one... not a single one of us blew himself/herself up in a crowded public place... in addition, zero (0) planes were flown into buildings.All this was accomplished so surreptitiosly, it attracted little public notice."
Author: George Saunders
5. "The Robespierre women (as one tended to think of them now) were all on display. Madame looked actively, rather intimidatingly benevolent; it was her aim in life to find a Jacobin who was hungry, then to go into the kitchen and make extravagant efforts, and say, "I have fed a patriot!"."
Author: Hilary Mantel
6. "It is the sheer ugliness and banality of everyday life which turns my blood to ice and makes me cringe in terror."
Author: Jean Lorrain
7. "You could have been Bethany Matthews, Delia Hopkins, Cleopatra - it wouldn't matter. And if you'd grown up with a thousand lemon trees in the middle of the desert, with a cactus instead of a Christmas tree and a pet armadillo, well then, I would have gone to law school at Arizona State, I guess. I would have defended illegal aliens crossing the border. But we still would have wound up together, Dee. No matter what kind of life I had, you'd be at the end of it."
Author: Jodi Picoult
8. "For a few moments, the secrets of the universe are opened to us. Life is a cheap parlor trick. That's the miserable truth."
Author: Jonathan Nolan
9. "Our kingdom is our life, and our life is our kingdom. We are all meant to rule from a glorious place. When God is on the throne, then so are we. When God is in exile, our lands are at war and our kingdoms are in chaos."
Author: Marianne Williamson
10. "For God's sake, take the religion out of your life or all kind of absurdities will take the reason out of your life! Keep God, get rid of religion! God, Love and Science; the Magnificent Trinity! All you need is these three things!"
Author: Mehmet Murat Ildan
11. "'Sex and the City' is about outsiders. Single girls as lepers, should have been married by now. It's the reason the whole thing took off."
Author: Michael Patrick King
12. "It's jarring to go from one amazing experience to another that feels ordinary. I don't quite know how to explain it. You see the uniqueness of what you've been doing, and disassociating yourself from it and going back to the 'normal' life is tough."
Author: Nat Wolff
13. "Then he smiles because he knows deep in his bones that his dad has gone and said something really funny probably. He kicks off his sheet and slides his feet into his slippers. Bunny sits in the living room, slumped low on the sofa, full of Geoffrey's Scotch and Poodle's cocaine."
Author: Nick Cave
14. "One must go to Dostoievsky who experienced on occasion ecstatic epileptic auras to which he attached momentous significance, to find an adequate historical parallel. "There are moments, and it is only a matter of five or six seconds, when you feel the presence of the eternal harmony ... a terrible thing is the frightful clearness with which it manifests itself and the rapture with which it fills you. If this state were to last more than five seconds, the soul could not endure it and would have to disappear. During these five seconds I live a whole human existence, and for that I would give my whole life and not think that I was paying too dearly …"
Author: Oliver Sacks
15. "Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything."
Author: Plato
16. "You will reciprocally promise love, loyalty and matrimonial honesty. We only want for you this day that these words constitute the principle of your entire life and that with the help of divine grace you will observe these solemn vows that today, before God, you formulate."
Author: Pope John Paul II
17. "My life should be unique; it should be an alms, a battle, a conquest, a medicine."
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson
18. "I desire to live in peace and to continue the life I have begun under the motto 'to live well you must live unseen"
Author: René Descartes
19. "The fact that Cincinnati thought I resembled him in any way sickened me. It made me want to run and hide. When I was a child in Detroit and terrors chased me, I would run to my hiding spot, a crawl space under the front porch of the boardinghouse we lived in. I'd wedge my small body into the cool brown earth and lie there, escaping the ugliness that was inevitably going on above me. I'd plug my ears with my fingers and hum to block out the remnants of Mother's toxic tongue or sharp backhand. It became a habit, humming, and a decade later, I was still doing it. Life had turned cold again, the safety of the cocoon under the porch was gone, and lying in the dirt had become a metaphor for my life."
Author: Ruta Sepetys
20. "It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body."
Author: Satchel Paige
21. "Our decision every day must be to live a righteous life—not in our own strength, but by the enablement of the Holy Spirit in us. We must acknowledge that we depend on God and choose to live our life for Him. Even though we are a new creation, we still must decide to live like we are."
Author: Stormie Omartian
22. "TOP FIVE WAYS PEOPLE CAN SURPRISE YOU5. Just when you think they've given up on you, they prove that they never will.4. They find a way to speak up after staying silent for so long.3. They defend you when you least expect it.2. By showing you how life can get better now.1. By helping you find a place to belong."
Author: Susane Colasanti
23. "To see something truly majestic just look within, To feel the warmth of love just hold out your hand, To laugh so much that a tear may form take a walk and to live life at it's fullest just simply step outside. To live is simply the best gift that we can receive."
Author: Taidgh Boyle
24. "...the solitude was intoxicating. On my first night there I lay on my back on the sticky carpet for hours, in the murky orange pool of city glow coming through the window, smelling heady curry spices spiraling across the corridor and listening to two guys outside yelling at each other in Russian and someone practicing stormy flamboyant violin somewhere, and slowly realizing that there was not a single person in the world who could see me or ask me what I was doing or tell me to do anything else, and I felt as if at any moment the bedsit might detach itself from the buildings like a luminous soap bubble and drift off into the night, bobbing gently above the rooftops and the river and the stars."
Author: Tana French
25. "It occurs to me one evening as I'm feeding the birds that all I did was put two birds in the aviary, some food and water and nothing else and now there are six of them. I know this is perfectly natural, it's one of the things life is all about, but to have it happen in my bedroom, under my own eyes, is magic."
Author: William Wharton

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I had spent so much time secretly scared of rape that in that moment I was hardly even afraid anymore. Or rather I had moved on to my next fear—what happens when it's over? Would I be left there, alone? Injured? Or worse?"
Author: Amber Dawn

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