Top Sleep Funny Quotes

Browse top 11 famous quotes and sayings about Sleep Funny by most favorite authors.

Favorite Sleep Funny Quotes

1. "But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."
Author: Charlie Sheen
2. "You have a couple of buddies sleep over, and, you know, you play cops and robbers. That I'm getting paid to do it now is kind of funny."
Author: Chris O'Donnell
3. "Dorothy's coming up. I think she's tight.""That's great." I picked up my bathrobe. "I was afraid I was going to have to get some sleep."She was bending over looking for her slippers. "Don't be such an old fluff. You can sleep all day." She found her slippers and stood up in them. "Is she really as afraid of her mother as she says?""If she's got any sense. Mimi's poison."Nora screwed up her dark eyes at me and asked slowly: "What are you holding out on me?""Oh, dear," I said, " I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you. Dorothy is really my daughter. I didn't know what I was doing, Nora. It was spring in Venice and I was so young and there was a moon over the...""Be funny. Don't you want something to eat?"
Author: Dashiell Hammett
4. "For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I'd squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I'm now told that this is not called "going to sleep" but rather "passing out," a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment."
Author: David Sedaris
5. "Sleep just go to sleep.Cam lived across the hall?You need to get up early. Go to sleep.How in the world was that possible? He was everywhere I went.Go to sleep.And why did he have a pet turtle and did he seriously name it after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, because that was kind of funny.Morning's going to come soon.Did he only wear a shirt during class? Oh my God, he seriously lived across the hall. Jacob was going to flip...and probably move in. That would be fun. I really liked Jacob, but I had a feeling he'd borrow my clothes.Go the fuck to sleep."
Author: J. Lynn
6. "Wendy, Wendy, when you are sleeping in your silly bed you might be flying about with me saying funny things to the stars."
Author: J.M. Barrie
7. "So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work."
Author: Joseph Bologna
8. "Not now, old woman," I tossed over my shoulder coldly. "I need sleep." Funny. You didn‘t seem to need so much a few days ago." I felt the blood drain from my face. I wasn‘t ready for this confrontation. I might never be ready for it.In fact, sleep was the last thing on your mind," he said tightly. He was angry. I could hear it in his voice. What was he angry about? I was the one who‘d been through the emotional wringer. My hands curled into fists, my breathing grew shallow. I trusted him no more today than I had two months ago. "Fucking was all you wanted."
Author: Karen Marie Moning
9. "I had the world sleepin' on my chest," he replied, his voice low, thick. I looked at the photo. "Funny how the world can fit in your arm."
Author: Kristen Ashley
10. "Darker thoughts crowded in during the deepest hours of the night when he woke listening to the secret mystifying sounds of the sleeping palace. Many nights, the king was there. Pleasant, irrelevant, and distracting, he eased Relius past nightmares and self-recrimination. Some nights he said nothing at all, just comforted with his presence. Other nights he related the events of his day, spewing out his insights and analyses of the Attolian court in a devastatingly funny critique."
Author: Megan Whalen Turner
11. "Rather than sleep, Tibbets crawled through the thirty-foot tunnel to chatwith the waist crew, wondering if they knew what they were carrying. "Achemist's nightmare," the tail gunner, Robert Caron, guessed, then "aphysicist's nightmare." "Not exactly," Tibbets hedged. Tibbets was leavingby the time Caron put two and two together:'Tibbets stayed a little longer, and then started to crawl forward up the tunnel. I remembered something else, and just as the last of the Old Man was disappearing, I sort of tugged at his foot, which was still showing. He came sliding back in a hurry, thinking maybe something was wrong. "What's the matter?"I looked at him and said, "Colonel, are we splitting atoms today?"This time he gave me a really funny look, and said, "That's about it."
Author: Richard Rhodes

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Today's Quote

Guilt is just as powerful, but its influence is positive, while shame's is destructive. Shame erodes our courage and fuels disengagement."
Author: Brene Brown

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