Top Snark Quotes

Browse top 36 famous quotes and sayings about Snark by most favorite authors.

Favorite Snark Quotes

1. "Words cannot express my disappointment that I must pass on the invitation to once again witness your gelatinous buttocks swaying as you try to climb a greased pole naked in search of athletic glory. Sadly, the last occasion on which I witnessed this event had a deleterious effect on my psyche for which I am still seeking the attention of a therapist.A.C. Kemp as Lady Arabella Snark"
Author: A.C. Kemp
2. "Has anyone sen Mr Snark " "I saw him in the tunnel about 15 minutes ago." "Oh no " wailed Dr Ferman "he will have been atomised." "Oh dear" muttered an MP. "Bye-election."
Author: Alexander McCall Smith
3. "OK snark, settle. You're telling me you don't have the tiniest crush on him? Tell the truth, Grace," she said, cornering me over by the dishwasher."I don't have a crush," I debated."Well, maybe I have half a crush. I have a 'cruh'," I admitted, giggling."But it's strickly Joshua inspired," I added, knowing that was not entirely true."
Author: Alice Clayton
4. "'Mike & Molly' exists in a world where we don't just say a snarky line, make a crazy face, and walk out of the room. There's actually some tender moments here, too."
Author: Billy Gardell
5. "Virginia screamed, grabbing for the door handle and nearly throwing herself from the moving car. James swerved to the side of the road, slamming on the brakes before she killed herself trying to escape. As it was, she flung herself from the car, falling to her knees and scrambling to her feet. Then she ran. Took off like a bolt until she rounded the bend and disappeared from view. 'Way to go, slick,' AJ said snarkily, climbing into the front seat. 'You ran her off."
Author: Brandi Salazar
6. "He auditioned with Lily, and he and Lily had incredible chemistry that sort of blazed off the scene. I'm just sitting here watching this on my computer, and you know, he was not the only person they've ever sent me to look at. I've gotten lots of headshots and this and that, and I'm watching the audition and I literally started crying because that was my Jace and Clary on the screen. And it's an incredible feeling to see that even as an audition. This is amazing. He was snarky funny where he needed to be snarky funny, and he was badass where he needed to be badass. And he and Lily were incredible together"
Author: Cassandra Clare
7. "I'm a rat. I used to believe in the Golden Rule but now question it. It's too easy to be snarky at those who are snarky toward me. I like how it feels—the yellow cheese giving way between pointed teeth. My tail begins to twitch."
Author: Chila Woychik
8. "At least Anne Frank," Comrade Snarky said, "never had to tour with her book . . ."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
9. "She says, "I'll swear by the rose tattooed on my ass, that old man raped me."Here, the funeral parade stops. At this point, Comrade Snarky is a victim among victims. The rest of us — just her supporting cast.Mrs. Clark, leading us, she looks back and says, "He what?"And from behind his camera, Agent Tattletale says, "Me, too. He raped me first."Saint Gut-Free says, "Well what the hell...He poked me, too."As if poor skinny Saint Gut-Free had enough ass left to poke.And Mrs. Clark says, "This is not funny. Not in the least.""Tough," the Matchmaker tells her. "It's wasn't funny, either, when you raped me."Shaking his ponytail, the Duke of Vandals tells the Matchmaker, "You couldn't pay to get raped."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
10. "A man came up to me at a party and asked if I wanted to be in his video game. I of course said yes. And then it turned out it was 'Assassin's Creed', so that was great. They let me ad lib a lot and mess about and be very snarky indeed, and I'm thrilled by the success of all their hard work."
Author: Danny Wallace
11. "That's not how I'd planned it to be.""How did you plan it to be?" I ask, not to be snarky but because I am genuinely curious."I planned it to be a million different things," he replies. "And in the end, I couldn't figure which one it should be."
Author: David Levithan
12. "As a parent, I want my kids to have an optimistic outlook, and one that has hope, and that makes sense, where good does triumph over evil and it's not cynical, and it's not snarky."
Author: Dee Bradley Baker
13. "You have no spirit of culinary adventure. You need to be more like that snarky guy on the Travel Channel. He goes all over the world eating kangaroo a**holes and snail throw-up. He'd eat anything. He don't care how sick he gets. He's another one of my role models, except he needs ironing."
Author: Janet Evanovich
14. "I can cook a mean hamburger. I can also cook a rude hamburger, and probably a sarcastic one, depending on how snarky the patty gets."
Author: Jarod Kintz
15. "God, what is wrong with me? I've been watching too much Gossip Girl. Reading too many snarky books. Maybe I should listen to a bunch of Christian music or watch some Hannah Montana with Budge. I know, I'll view VeggieTales until the evil is purged out of me, and all the comes out of me is goodness, light, and songs about cucumbers."
Author: Jenny B. Jones
16. "Trying to teach creativity is the major hoax of our time along with the Iraq war and plastic surgery" ~ Snarky comment of Clive from "The River Swimmer" (pg 47)"
Author: Jim Harrison
17. "I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'm just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face.' That's my job; that's what I do."
Author: Jimmy Fallon
18. "It's been a tough couple of years for condescending nerds. And if bookstores fall, Jon, America will be inundated with a wandering, snarky underclass of unemployable purveyors of useless and arcane esoterica."
Author: John Hodgman
19. "The press always ends up being much nicer than I expect. A lot of times they say something snarky about you, but then you meet them in person and they couldn't be nicer."
Author: Josh Schwartz
20. "For the snark was a boojum, you see."
Author: Lewis Carroll
21. "Stuart, who had just witnessed me go through an entire rainbow of emotions and experiences. There was parents-have-just-been-jailed me, stuck-in-a-strange-town me, insane-and-can't-shut-up me, kind-of-snarky-to-the-strange-guy-trying-to-be-helpful me, breakup me, and the extremely popular jump-on-top-of-you-unexpectedly me."
Author: Maureen Johnson
22. "I am fluent in snark.Bethany only notices snark when snark grabs her off the sidewalk, throws her in the back of a sketchy van with tinted windows, drives to the middle of the Meadow-lands in the dead of night, and uses a heavy blunt instrumentto smack her repeatedly about the head as it screams, "I'M SNARK. DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? I'M SNARKY SNARKY SNARK!" And even then she's like, "Ohhhh? Snark? Is that you?"
Author: Megan McCafferty
23. "What are you running from?"That put a damper on the fluttering lashes. "Columbia House Music Club," I said, recovering my snarkiness quickly. "Oh, sure, they say they'll sell you six CDs for a penny, but they'll hunt you down like the hounds of hell if you miss the payments."
Author: Molly Harper
24. "Grace Murphy, defender of the downtrodden! Snarking one villain at a time with her acerbic wit and pointy boobs! If there was going to be super-natural mojo involved in my life, the least I could ask for was non-sagging boobs."
Author: Nicole Hamlett
25. "Quite an impressive file you've amassed, Sophia." Clasping his hands, he added, "If Hecate offered classes in complete mayhem, I have no doubt you'd be valedictorian."Nice to see where I got my snarkiness."
Author: Rachel Hawkins
26. "You can park your snark at the gate, Omaha."
Author: Rainbow Rowell
27. "Put it out," said Dimitri. "Put it out or she dies."Lissa finally found her voice, even with her air cut off. "Don't listen to him," she gasped out." He's going to kill us anyway."But behind her, the heat died out. Shadows fell across Dimitri's face once again. Christian wouldn't risk her, even though she was right. It hardly seemed to matter."Actually," said Dimitri, voice peasant amid and grim scene, "I'd rather you two stay alive. At least for a little while longer."I felt Lissa's face move to a frown. I wouldn't have been surprised if Christian's did too, judging from the confusion in his voice. He couldn't even manage a snarky comment. He could only ask the obvious: "Why?"Dimitri's eyes gleamed. "Because I need you to be bait for Rose."
Author: Richelle Mead
28. "The newly developed snarky side of my personality wanted to tell him 'There's no crying in vamp battles."
Author: Robyn Jones
29. "Ryker, you ride with Orlando," Ryker mocked in a snarky voice as he turned to the other man. He gestured toward the Pinto with a look of revulsion on his rugged face. "How the hell does he expect both of us to fit into that tiny metal trap? Even if we could squeeze in, the tires will probably pop. In fact, let's just carry it over. It'll be faster that way."
Author: Rose Wynters
30. "I think that we live in a time where it's easier to be suspicious of dedicated men and women, people dedicated to their craft, because the world around them inspires them to be lazy. It inspires them to be negative. It inspires them to be snarky."
Author: Ryan Adams
31. "Everybody better stay out of my way because I'm steamrollering my way through this town, powered on snark."
Author: Sean Kennedy
32. "Want a closer look? (Tate)Like a screwdriver through my eye socket. Sure, let's have a look-see. (Simone)Ooo, welcome back, Ms. Snark. I've missed you. (Tate)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
33. "I'm not as snarky as I used to be."
Author: Stacy London
34. "Social media has created a legion of social delinquents, billions of people speaking not their minds but their spleens, venting everything from the gum-cracking snark befitting a hair-twisting mallrat to the froth-flecked rage of a bell tower marksman."
Author: Steven Weber
35. "Our witness is only as strong as our freedom is real. We can have the most noble convictions in the world, but if we are snarky and impatient when we don't get our way, those things will interfere with our influence. If we gossip more than we pray, those misspoken words will demolish our influence. If our addictions get in the way of living out our convictions, we'll have mostly a negative influence."
Author: Susie Larson
36. "What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty while doing it."
Author: Timothy Ferriss

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A slow and heavy step, which had been heard upon the stairs and in the passage, paused immediately outside the door. Then there was a loud and authoritative tap."
Author: Arthur Conan Doyle

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