Top Stand Up Comedy Quotes

Browse top 38 famous quotes and sayings about Stand Up Comedy by most favorite authors.

Favorite Stand Up Comedy Quotes

1. "Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them. That's how I saw myself, in comedy."
Author: Al Pacino
2. "I was a very special child. I did stand-up comedy. I did it all. My family didn't understand. 'Aren't you tired?' I'm like, 'No.' I'm like an insomniac, I hardly sleep, I'm always on the move."
Author: Alessandra Torresani
3. "Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession."
Author: Aziz Ansari
4. "Comedy doesn't really matter that much; I know that. I treat it like an adult - I don't treat it like a child or a god, which some people do. This might just be in America, but 'stand-up comedy' is something very particular that I don't particularly relate to."
Author: Bo Burnham
5. "You know, stand-up comedy is where I pretty much started out."
Author: Brion James
6. "A lot of female comedians will go up there in a sweatshirt and Converses, trying to dress themselves down, because it is sort of a boy's club. I'll go up in my heels. I like that people don't think I'll be funny. I'll take that on. I don't do standup comedy - I do standup and I do comedy, but I don't go up there and do jokes."
Author: Carly Craig
7. "I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State."
Author: Dana Carvey
8. "I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it."
Author: Dane Cook
9. "It's the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central, and they've been good to me."
Author: Daniel Tosh
10. "Stand-up comedy and poverty. Those were my two main endeavors."
Author: Dave Foley
11. "Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me."
Author: Dwayne Johnson
12. "I play these sort of comical instruments I invented, like the electric rake and the electric plunger. I do a lot of almost stand-up comedy material. Just the juxtaposition of the different styles in itself sometimes is funny. Like, I do sort of an acoustic version of 'Purple Haze' that has some bluegrass licks in it."
Author: Eugene Chadbourne
13. "I was afraid if I started talking in front of the crowd, they'd all laugh at me. And guess what? They did! Oh it was horrible. I'm never going to do stand-up comedy again."
Author: Jarod Kintz
14. "My girlfriend asked if I wanted to go see a politician give a speech on "Ethics", and I said, Sure, I might enjoy a bit of stand-up comedy."
Author: Jarod Kintz
15. "I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make sure the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech."
Author: Jeff Dunham
16. "When I was nine, we'd take a bus to the seaside. Coming back, we'd take turns entertaining, singing songs and the like. I tried some stand-up comedy. I had a captive audience in that bus. Then I realized I wanted to do more than that."
Author: Jim Dale
17. "I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time."
Author: Jim Varney
18. "As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing."
Author: Jimmy Carr
19. "I had always been heavily influenced by stand-up. I was in a comedy team called Red Johnny And The Round Guy."
Author: John DiMaggio
20. "Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I'm working on a play. I like to work, and I fear that something could fall through. You know what they say: 'The show must go off.'"
Author: Joy Behar
21. "I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos."
Author: Joy Behar
22. "If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn't mean just because you are confident you are funny."
Author: Judah Friedlander
23. "I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not."
Author: Keenen Ivory Wayans
24. "I did stand-up for a long time, and I did classical theater. As much time as you could spend on a stage will always inform you and your job, as you evolve. I feel the freedom of being able to find comedy in the darkest moments because it makes it way more interesting, I think."
Author: Kevin Durand
25. "I just love entertaining. I will do anything - stand-up comedy, video games, fencing, internet shorts - I just want to keep being lucky enough to entertain people anyway I can. I try never to limit my art to a medium."
Author: Matthew Gray Gubler
26. "All of comedy at some level is trial-and-error, whether it's a stand-up trying out jokes or a comedy show trying stories."
Author: Michael Schur
27. "I eventually became an actor, starting with doing stand-up comedy in New York and then theater wherever they would let me. Finally, I moved out here to Los Angeles and got on a show."
Author: Nolan North
28. "My mom and dad are both in stand-up comedy, so that's where I started, that's where I got everything. My roots are holding the mic."
Author: Pauly Shore
29. "I go to a lot of stand-up comedy. I find more inspiration from observational stuff than from rap."
Author: Riz Ahmed
30. "I will always love to perform standup comedy."
Author: Shelley Berman
31. "Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form."
Author: Shelley Berman
32. "My most persistent memory of stand - up is of my mouth being in the present and my mind being in the future: the mouth speaking the line, the body delivering the gesture, while the mind looks back, observing, analyzing, judging, worrying, and then deciding when and what to say next. Enjoyment while performing was rare - enjoyment would have been an indulgent loss of focus that comedy cannot afford."
Author: Steve Martin
33. "I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic."
Author: Steve Martin
34. "It sometimes seemed to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the joke, and she the other half. Otherwise, it would not be love, but something completely else–pity or entertainment, or stand-up comedy."
Author: Tao Lin
35. "While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously."
Author: Tim Allen
36. "Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that "women aren't funny." Using that same math, I can state: Male comedy writers piss in cups."
Author: Tina Fey
37. "Stand-up keeps you alive. It is definitely the most specialized field in comedy because you need to stay sharp and well-tuned every night."
Author: Tommy Davidson
38. "I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled."
Author: Wendy Liebman

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Material wealth can be bad for your health.Because when you're in the soil it'll make your blood boil,that you couldn't keep it all for your self."
Author: Benny Bellamacina

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