Top Swear To God Quotes

Browse top 100 famous quotes and sayings about Swear To God by most favorite authors.

Favorite Swear To God Quotes

1. "Oh, hell no!" I yell at them. They are not about to negotiate as to whether they get to see my goods. "Denton, I swear to God, if you come over here, I am sending you anthrax in the mail!"
Author: Angeline Kace
2. "You can, in short, lead the life of the mind, which is, despite some appalling frustrations, the happiest life on earth. And one day, in the thick of this, approaching some partial vision, you will (I swear) find yourself on the receiving end of - of all things - an "idea for a story," and you will, God save you, start thinking about writing some fiction of your own. Then you will understand, in what I fancy might be a blinding flash, that all this passionate thinking is what fiction is about, that all those other fiction writers started as you did, and are laborers in the same vineyard."
Author: Annie Dillard
3. "Francie had heard swearing since she had heard words. Obscenity and profanity had no meaning as such among those people. They were emotional expressions of inarticulate people with small vocabularies; they made a kind of dialect. The phrases could mean many things according to the expression and tone used in saying them. So now, when Francie heard themselves called lousy bastards, she smiled tremulously at the kind man. She knew that he was really saying, "Goodbye—God bless you."
Author: Betty Smith
4. "So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the [L.A.] riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article - front page of the paper - one day, in England: 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' Wooooo... 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight."
Author: Bill Hicks
5. "Now you make yourself come, bitch. And I'll know if you're faking. You make that cunt clench around my cock or I swear to God I'll make you regret it"
Author: Cara McKenna
6. "I swear to God the woman sang the whole song, to my face. It was just so awkward, and every time I stood next to her she started singing it again. I thought how that would be like me going up to Britney and singing the whole of 'Baby One More Time' in her face. Can you imagine how weird that would be?"
Author: Cheryl Cole
7. "I swear to God, if you saw me when I am by myself in the woods, I'm a lunatic. I sing, I dance."
Author: Chris Evans
8. "There were times, especially when I was traveling for 'Eat, Pray, Love,' when, I swear to God, I would feel this weight of my female ancestors, all those Swedish farmwives from beyond the grave who were like, 'Go! Go to Naples! Eat more pizza! Go to India, ride an elephant! Do it! Swim in the Indian Ocean. Read those books. Learn a language.'"
Author: Elizabeth Gilbert
9. "Ted, I swear to God, quothe he."
Author: George Saunders
10. "..."I won't go to Mrs Henne-Falcon's party. I swear on the Bible I won't." Now surely all would be well, he thought. God would not allow him to break so solemn an oath. He would show him a way. There was all the morning before him and all the afternoon until four o'clock. No need to worry when the grass was still crisp with the early frost. Anything might happen. He might cut himself or break his leg or really catch a bad cold. God would manage somehow."
Author: Graham Greene
11. "Anyway, I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm going to sit right the hell on top of it. I'll volunteer for it, I swear to God I will."
Author: J.D. Salinger
12. "Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are... Sex is something I just don't understand. I swear to God."
Author: J.D. Salinger
13. "But I'm Crazy. I swear to God I am."
Author: J.D. Salinger
14. "I swear to you, you're missing the whole point of the Jesus Prayer. The Jesus Prayer has one aim, and one aim only. To endow the person who says it with Christ-Consciousness. Not to set up some little cozy, holier-than-thou trysting place with some sticky, adorable divine personage who'll take you in his arms and relieve you of all your duties and make all your nasty Weltschmerzen and Professor Tuppers go away and never come back. And by God, if you have intelligence enough to see that — and you do — and yet you refuse to see it, then you're misusing the prayer, you're using it to ask for a world full of dolls and saints and no Professor Tuppers."
Author: J.D. Salinger
15. "As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper."
Author: Janet Evanovich
16. "And there is my payment the rubies in your cheeks. Are you properly scandalized by your wicked behavior? If you were Catholic, you'd singe the ears of the priest you confessed to. Do you remember making me swear to repeat all those naughty actions agian, no matter what you said this morning?" Now that he brought it up, I did recall saying that. Great Betrayed by my own immorality. "God, Bones...some of that was depraved." "I'll take that as a compliment." He closed the distance between us."I love you. Don't be ashamed of anything we did, even if your prudery is on life support."
Author: Jeaniene Frost
17. "I love you, Alexa. I want you and I want our baby. I want this ridiculous hound dog because I've grown to love him, too. I also figured out what I don't want. I don't want to live my life without you. I don't want to be alone anymore. And I don't want to believe I deserve not to have you. And I swear to God, I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. - Nicholas Ryan"
Author: Jennifer Probst
18. "I want to play trailer trash; I swear to God."
Author: Joan Van Ark
19. "From the Grapes of Wrath and a woman that would not be moved: "'On'y way you gonna get me to go is whup me.' She moved the jack handle gently again. 'An' I'll shame you, Pa. I won't take no whuppin', cryin' an' a-beggin'. I'll light into you. An' you ain't so sure you can whup me anyways. An' if ya do get me, I swear to God I'll wait till you got your back turned, or you're settin' down, an' I'll knock you belly-up with a bucket. I swear to Holy Jesus' sake I will."
Author: John Steinbeck
20. "Trouble follows you like a shadow, Gillian. You're prone to injuries. I swear to God, if a tree decided to fall right now, it would find your head to land on.""Oh, for heaven's sake," she muttered. "I'll admit that I have had a run of bad fortune, but—" He wouldn't let her continue. "A run of bad fortune? Since I've known you, you've been beaten, stabbed and now shot with an arrow. If this keeps up, you'll be dead in another month"
Author: Julie Garwood
21. "Your eyes have turned as black as a Crow's," she blurted out.He didn't even blink over her bizarre comment. "Not this time, Christina," he said in a furious whisper. "Compliments won't get me off balance again, my little temptress. I swear to God, if you ever again dismiss me so casually, I'm going to––""Oh, it wasn't a compliment," Christina interrupted, letting him see her irritation. "How presumptuous of you to think it was. The Crow is our enemy."
Author: Julie Garwood
22. "Sweartogod"
Author: Kate Atkinson
23. "I swear to God, after the zombie apocalypse the only thing left on the planet will be cockroaches and Moose," I told Mom one night after she managed to back into a light pole at the restaurant and drive away with not even a dent in the bumper.Mom shushed me at the time. "He'll hear you!"
Author: Katie Klein
24. "She revealed her pale face and sniffed again. One red curl clung to her tearstained cheek. My hand reached out to release it, but I hesitated a mere heartbeat away from her skin. I swear to God she quit breathing and even blinking, and for a second so did I. In a deliberate movement, I freed the curl.~Noah"
Author: Katie McGarry
25. "Here's the thing- I love you and I love her, but I swear to God I'll kick your ass if you hurt her."
Author: Katie McGarry
26. "First off, don't swear to God around me. He's not listening when I'm in the room."
Author: Krista Ritchie
27. "Some people get to live life. Some people survive it. We're survivors. We can carve out our piece of happy, and, I swear to God, baby, right now, you got my vow, for you and for me, the rest of our lives, I'll bust my ass to carve our piece of happy."
Author: Kristen Ashley
28. "So, he made this report to me. Now, make no mistake, Ty, I take my work seriously but I gotta admit, he gave this report, I lost my pen. Swear to God, don't know where I put that fucker."
Author: Kristen Ashley
29. "Carly heard the click of Shadowfax's hooves as she came over to them. She snorted in Carly's face and bumped her nose against her shoulder. As Carly petted her, Shadowfax hooked a foreleg over Carly's hip as though to draw her closer for a hug and laid her head over Carly's shoulder with a soft rumble. "Good horse. Thank you for biting that awful man." "I've never seen anything like this," Justin, said with wonder in his voice. "I swear to God, you're like a video game Druid, sending animals to do your bidding."
Author: Lissa Bryan
30. "In health we're doing the digestive system. We each got assigned a topic for an oral report. I got the small intestine. I swear to god I hate my life."
Author: Lynda Barry
31. "Ritie, don't worry 'cause you ain't pretty. Plenty pretty women I seen digging ditches or worse. You smart. I swear to God, I rather you have a good mind than a cute behind."
Author: Maya Angelou
32. "I wished for you on every shooting star when I was little. Now, if I gathered all of the stars I wished for you on, none could ever shine brighter than you. You are my shooting star, Ren. You are here with me walking this beach. I may have fucked up, but I swear to you, to God, and every single star in this sky, I will never give you up!"Stefan"
Author: Mel Ballew
33. "I do not go to church. I don't go to Christian church or Jew church or any other church. I don't go to church at all. Not ever. A perfect Sunday for me is spent drinking green tea while reading the Sunday New York Times. Yikes! Why don't I just turn in my Al-Qaeda membership form and call it a day? As if that wasn't bad enough, not only do I not go to church:I don't believe in God. How can I say the Pledge of Allegiance if I don't believe in God? How can I spend our American currency which pledges "In God We Trust?" How can I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, so help me God? Answer: I can't. It's a real problem. Don't get me wrong – I'd like to believe in God. I wish I did, especially if He was the kind of God that thought America was #1. But I don't, which to many people is the same as not believing in America. Up until recently, I thought those people were lunatics."
Author: Michael Ian Black
34. "I swear to God, I would marry the first person who asked me, just because it seems so completely impossible that anyone would ask."
Author: Minnie Driver
35. "Dorian's going to love this."She glared. "I swear to God, you tell him, and I'll" — what the hell could you threaten an alpha with?—"I'll tell Hawke you want to go on daily bonding runs with him."
Author: Nalini Singh
36. "Don't swear in front of my kids, Papaw," Bill said hotly. "Daddy, hush," Mama said. "I'll swear anytime I goddamn want to, Billy Cantrell," Papaw replied. "You Christians are so uptight. Every time you sit down, I hold my breath because I'm afraid you'll suck the whole goddamn world up your asses." "Daddy!" Mama cried. "It's true, Martha. You should know. There's a hole in the sofa where you're always sitting. Probably got half the living room swirling around in your rectum. Billy's probably got half of Tupelo up his ass. Next time something comes up missing, Shelly, just tell him to bend over and take a look in his ass because that's probably where it is."
Author: Nick Wilgus
37. "I swear to the gods that if you answer one more of my questions with a question, I am going to go all Tyson and bite your damned ear off..."
Author: Nicole Peeler
38. "Listen to me you piece of shit, if you ever give the press information about me, my parents or even breathe a word about me to anyone ever again, I swear to god I will make it my mission to make your life a living hell. And, believe me I'll do it with a smile on my face the whole time. You're a worthless excuse for a Detective and everyone here knows it. You've screwed your way to the top and backstabbed Gena to get into your Captain's good books. Well look around you honey, you're a real star. No one stopped Gena or me taking you on. I've currently got you in a hold, where I could snap your neck if I wanted to, and not one person is stepping forward to help you. Yeah, you've really made it." - Stephanie Carovella to Sandra Barton"
Author: Nina D'Angelo
39. "With a laugh exposing a kissable mouth and perfect teeth, he glances my way again, his entire demeanor tensing for a second, those dark eyes finally promising more.They haven't just licked me, they've broken my legs, turned my hips inside out, and sucked my nipples so hard I swear to god they are no longer on my body."
Author: Poppet
40. "Swear to God, you come near us and–""Like this?" The biker sidestepped a slash from the hockey stick, grabbed it on the way, and yanked it out of Eve's hands. He tossed it over his shoulder to land on the floor with a clatter. "This near enough? Whatcha gonna do, doll girl?"Claire hid her eyes as the biker reached out for Eve with one tattooed hand."No," Eve said breathlessly. "I'm going to let my boyfriend beat the crap out of you."There was a dull thunk of wood meeting flesh, and a howl. Then another, harder thunk, and a crash as a body hit the floor.The biker was down. Claire stared at him in disbelief, then looked past him, to the figure standing there with the field hockey stick in both hands.Michael Glass. Back from the dead, again, a gorgeous blond avenging angel, breathing hard."
Author: Rachel Caine
41. "I swear to God I will never set eyes on him again. I bind my honour to you that I am done with him in this world. It is all at an end. And indeed he does not want my help; you do not know him as I do; he is safe, he is quite safe; mark my words, he will never more be heard of. ~Jekyll"
Author: Robert Louis Stevenson
42. "There was the sink incident - which I may have overreacted to because it reminded me of a memory I had of my parents - the walking in while I was having a shower to ask me where the television remote was incident, the eating his lunch in the kitchen without a shirt on incident- he said he 'accidently' spilled coffee down it and had to put it in the washer/dryer- and there were the many, many 'looking at me for no reason' incidents. I swear to God he was wearing on my panties"
Author: Samantha Young
43. "JACKIE. I swear to God: Being in love with Veronica - it's like feeding your love to Godzilla every morning, and every morning you go "Yo, 'Zilla, these shits are very delicate so please chew softly", - and every morning - the motherfucker just goes crunch!"
Author: Stephen Adly Guirgis
44. "...Ty grabbed my phone and threatened to tell Otter that I liked being spanked during sex.This proceeded to lead up on a long tangent where I had to have him explain to me how he knows about stuff like people getting spanked during sex. H said he might have heard it mentioned while watching MSNBC. I told him he was grounded from watching the news channels for a week. That's where this whole sidebar should have ended, but then I was forced to explain S & M and bondage to my little brother, who was persistent on the topic, and who kept staring at me with mounting horror when I finally /did/ explain, and I realized I had maybe gone too far, and we had to spend the next five minutes swearing to God that I had never nor would I ever attempt to do anything like that. He might now be the only nine-year-old who has heard the terms "cock ring" and "fisting". My parenting skills are unparalleled."
Author: T.J. Klune
45. "Which one was it? He'll pay for it with his life, I swear to you.""Settle down, Gray. And for God's sake, don't go punching yourself in the eye just to even the score."Gray shot him a look. "Not amusing, Joss.""Oh yes, it is. Give me credit for a joke when I make one. It's nothing, Gray. I've had worse. You've given me worse. And it's no more than a man can expect, I suppose, when he's an alleged pirate.""Piracy charges." Gray cracked his neck. "What a joke." This was the voyage he'd finally gone respectable, and what had it gotten him? Jilted and jailed. No good deed went unpunished."
Author: Tessa Dare
46. "Swear to God, for someone so obsessed with music, she's borderline tone deaf. But trying to describe how I felt watching her dance around and sing would be like trying to build a skyscraper with my bare hands. It made me want to marry her. Made me want to buy her a magic airplane and fly her away to a place where nothing bad could ever happen. Made me want to pour rubber cement all over my chest and then lay down on top of her so that we'd be stuck together, and so it would hurt like hell if we ever tried to tear ourselves apart."
Author: Tiffanie DeBartolo
47. "It was all I could do not to fall on my knees and weep like the bastard she always said I was, and I was a breath away from begging her to run away with me. I can't believe I'm admitting this on tape—I was standing at that table, she hit me with that look of hers, and I swear to God all I wanted to do was grab her hand, press it into my heart and say, "Let's get the hell out of here." I was even willing to ride the 6 all the way to Houston Street. No kidding, I was going to take the subway to prove my love. And if she said no, I was going to kidnap her until she agreed to stay."
Author: Tiffanie DeBartolo
48. "She reached to give him an awkward hug, and when he hugged her back, his hand accidentallytouched her belly. It was surprisingly hard and something shifted beneath the surface."Oh, shit!" he yelped, jerking back."What's wrong?""It, uh, moved.""Feels like an alien, doesn't it? I swear to God, I have nightmares that it's going to burst out of my stomach like a monster. But I think it's prettyharmless."
Author: Victoria Dahl
49. "And I may not omit here a special work of God's providence. There was a proud and very profane young man [aboard the Mayflower], one of the seamen, of a lusty, able body, which made him the more haughty; he would always be contemning the poor people in their [sea]sickness, and cursing them daily with grievous execrations, and did not let to tell them, that he hoped to help cast half of them overboard before they came to their journey's end, and to make merry with what they had; and if he were by any gently reproved, he would curse and swear most bitterly.But it pleased God before they came half seas over, to smite this young man with a grievous disease, of which he died in a desperate manner, and so was himself the first that was thrown overboard. Thus his curses light on his own head; and it was an astonishment to all his fellows, for they noted it to be the just hand of God upon him."
Author: William Bradford
50. "BENEDICK I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange? BEATRICE As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin. BENEDICK By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me. BEATRICE Do not swear, and eat it. BENEDICK I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you. BEATRICE Will you not eat your word? BENEDICK With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee. BEATRICEWhy, then, God forgive me! BENEDICK What offence, sweet Beatrice? BEATRICE You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest I loved you. BENEDICK And do it with all thy heart. BEATRICE I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest. BENEDICK Come, bid me do any thing for thee."
Author: William Shakespeare

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Dementia. Ruth puzzled over the diagnosis: How could such a beautiful-sounding word apply to such a destructive disease? It was a name befitting a goddess: Dementia, who caused her sister Demeter to forget to turn winter into spring."
Author: Amy Tan

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