Top Swears Quotes

Browse top 31 famous quotes and sayings about Swears by most favorite authors.

Favorite Swears Quotes

1. "If ever I was going to listen to a string of swearwords sitting next to a ninety-four-year-old, I'm glad that ninety-four-year-old was my grandfather. Not that he swears a lot. It's just that he can take it. And, he is currently laughing so hard that his eyes are watery."
Author: A.J. Jacobs
2. "You build your world around someone, and then what happens when he disappears? Where do you go- into pieces, into atoms, into the arms of another man? You go shopping, you cook dinner, you work odd hours, you make love to someone else on June nights. But you're not really there, you're someplace else where there is blue sky and a road you don't recognize. If you squint your eyes, you think you see him, in the shadows, beyond the trees. You always imagine that you see him, but he's never there. It's only his spirit, that's what's there beneath the bed when you kiss your husband, there when you send your daughter off to school. It's in your coffee cup, your bathwater, your tears. Unfinished business always comes back to haunt you, and a man who swears he'll love you forever isn't finished with you until he's done."
Author: Alice Hoffman
3. "Like every experience that marks us for a lifetime, I found myself turned inside out, drawn and quartered. this was the sum of everything I'd been in my life--and more: who I am when I sing and stir-fry vegetables for my family and friends on Sunday afternoons; who I am when I wake up on freezing nights and want nothing more than to throw on a sweater, rush to my desk, and write about the person I know no one knows I am; who I am when I crave to be naked with another naked body, or when I crave to be alone in the world; who I am when every part of me seems miles and centuries apart and each swears it bears my name."
Author: André Aciman
4. "Galen, he recognized her immediately.""Emma?" Galen breathes. This can't be happening."No. The stalker.""Wait," Rayna says. "Her? Her who?""Galen," Toraf says. "It's Nalia. Yudor swears on Triton's memory it is. She's not dead. He's on his way back to stop the mating ceremony.Nalia. It all comes together as if the pieces of the puzzle were suddenly jarred into place.Galen tears through the living room and to the beach, Toraf and Rayna close behind him."
Author: Anna Banks
5. "Fame is not so impossible for people with charisma, passion and talent. Being famous just means you have fans, and even one or two is enough to make you someone special. Ask a music fan who the best guitarist of all time is, and while one group insists that it was Jimmi Hendrix, another group swears that it was Eddie Van Halen instead. There will never be a time when everyone on this planet agrees on something like that, but luckily that's not important. All that matters is that both sides remain loyal, which they will assuming you continue to be who you are and do your thing. This is all that you need to be immortalized."
Author: Ashly Lorenzana
6. "Money doesn't talk, it swears."
Author: Bob Dylan
7. "Old lady judges watch people in pairsLimited in sex, they dareTo push fake morals, insult and stareWhile money doesn't talk, it swearsObscenity, who really caresPropaganda, all is phony."
Author: Bob Dylan
8. "I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly."
Author: Darynda Jones
9. "Idiots annoy me." Mackenzie holds up the jar again, and in goes another dollar. The jar? It was invented by my sister, who apparently thinks my language is too harsh for her offspring. It's the Bad Word Jar. Every time someone—usually me—swears, they have to pay a dollar. At this rate, that thing is going to put Mackenzie through college."
Author: Emma Chase
10. "One of my colleagues is convinced that having a wide range of types to choose from is a complete waste of time. He swears by two typefaces: Gill (1928) and Frutiger (1975), which he uses for road signs (among other things). (...) [U]ntil 1975, the year in which Adrian Frutiger's eponymous typeface came onto the market, my colleague could only have made half of his selection. It seems to me that this proves the case for continuing to design new typefaces."
Author: Gerard Unger
11. "I tend to not watch things that are current. And then if everybody swears it's amazing then I'll like watch the whole series in a weekend."
Author: Hank Azaria
12. "Here some one thrust these cards into these old hands of mine, swears that I must play them, and no others. And damn me, Ahab, but thou actest right, live in the game, and die in it."
Author: Herman Melville
13. "Riza: Without his Alchemy he's just...Jean: A little brat who swears a lotMaes: An arrogant pipsqueakRoy: Useless. Just uselessAlphonse: Sorry big brother, I don't know how to add to that...Ed *starts to cry*: YOU'RE ALL PICKING ON ME!!!"
Author: Hiromu Arakawa
14. "No one ought even to desert a woman after throwing her a heap of gold in her distress! He ought to love her forever! You are young, only twenty-one, and kind and upright and fine. You'll ask me how a woman can take money from a man. Oh, God, isn't it natural to share everything with the one we owe all our happiness to? When one has given everything, how can one quibble about a mere portion of it? Money is important only when feeling has ceased. Isn't one bound for life? How can you foresee separation when you think someone loves you? When a man swears eternal love--how can there be any separate concerns in that case?"
Author: Honoré De Balzac
15. "King John won't need any persuading that the French have a hand in this. From what I've heard, if a bean gives him a bellyache he swears it was a French one."
Author: Karen Maitland
16. "With any other girl I could probably pull out the classic guy fail-safe of walking over and wrapping my arms around her and letting her put her head on my shoulder. It's cheap, but it works. Drew swears by it. But I'm afraid that in this particular instance it would result in one of two things: a string of innovative new expletives or her knee in my balls. My money's on the knee."
Author: Katja Millay
17. "I love you, Callie ingen Neil, Lairdess of the MacNeelys and wife of a man who is so unworthy of you that he swears he will spend the rest of his life trying to show you just how much you mean to him. (Sin)There's no need to try, Sin. All I have to do is look into your eyes and I know. (Callie)"
Author: Kinley MacGregor
18. "Greetings from sunny Seattle, where women are "gals," people are "folks," a little bit is a "skosh," if you're tired you're "logy," if something is slightly off it's "hinky," you can't sit Indian-style but you can sit "crisscross applesauce," when the sun comes out it's never called "sun" but always "sunshine," boyfriends and girlfriends are "partners," nobody swears but someone occasionally might "drop the f-bomb," you're allowed to cough but only into your elbow, and any request, reasonable or unreasonable, is met with "no worries."Have I mentioned how much I hate it here?"
Author: Maria Semple
19. "I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night."
Author: Marie Corelli
20. "She hit us," the woman shrieked. That was the gist of it anyway. There were a lot of unladylike words that began with "F," with various "C" words thrown in for leavening.…"Ben's better," I murmured. "He's more creative when he swears.""He does it in that English accent, which is too cool."
Author: Patricia Briggs
21. "If I no longer love Diana,' he wrote, ‘what shall I do?' What could he do, with his mainspring, his prime mover gone? He had known that he would love her for ever - to the last syllable of recorded time. He had not sworn it, any more than he had sworn that the sun would rise every morning: it was too certain, too evident: no one swears that he will continue to breathe nor that twice two is four. Indeed, in such a case an oath would imply the possibility of doubt. Yet now it seemed that perpetuity meant eight years, nine months and some odd days, while the last syllable of recorded time was Wednesday, the seventeenth of May."
Author: Patrick O'Brian
22. "Like almost all girls I don't know the date of my birth: my parents did not trouble to record the day and the time. I only know the year and the season, and I only know the season because my mother had a great desire for asparagus when she was carrying me and swears that she ate it too green and her bellyache brought on my birth."
Author: Philippa Gregory
23. "Most of us have participated in the trust exercise in which one person falls back and is caught by a peer. Even if the catch is made a hundred times in a row, the trust is broken forever if the friend lets you fall the next time as a joke. Even if he swears he is sorry and will never let you fall again, you can never fall back without a seed of doubt."
Author: Rafe Esquith
24. "Hairy monkeyballs!" I hiss. "Dogshit on a stick! Puke pancakes!" A head pokes in. Wren, green eyes smiling, walks over to my bed."I knew you were awake. Who else spews such original and captivating swears?"
Author: Sara Wolf
25. "This one swears like a trooper-- he's a bad boy."
Author: Sergei Lukyanenko
26. "No man, my lord, should make a vow, for if He ever swears he will not do a thing."
Author: Sophocles
27. "Imagine God inside your computer, your phone, everyone else's computer. Imagine someone who almost is the Black Corporation, with all its power and riches and reach. And who, despite all this, seems pretty sane and beneficent by the standards of most gods. Oh, and who sometimes swears in Tibetan..."
Author: Stephen Baxter
28. "If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?"
Author: Steven Wright
29. "There exists a sac of skin that distends when I'm tired, beneath my eye. Irreversible tissue damage. Something stretched too far, which has come back changed. I've thought of having it surgically corrected. Michael swears it's unnoticeable, the tiny pouch of loose skin. Yet not long ago, seeing me stare critically into a mirror one morning after a late night, he offered to pay to have it removed with lasers.I declined. I didn't tell him that I need it, in some perverse way. A reminder that you can never, for any reason or length of time, no matter how much you love or believe you love, change someone.That believing you can might end you."
Author: Suzanne Finnamore
30. "I will love you forever" swears the poet. I find this easy to swear too. "I will love you at 4:15 pm next Tuesday" - Is that still as easy?"
Author: W.H. Auden
31. "Sometime [Queen Mab] driveth o'er a soldier's neck, And then dreams he of cutting foreign throats,Of breaches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades,Of healths five fathom deep; and then anonDrums in his ear, at which he starts and wakes,And being thus frighted, swears a prayer or twoAnd sleeps again"
Author: William Shakespeare

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Any God I ever found in church, I brought in myself."
Author: Alice Walker

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