Top The Testicles Quotes

Browse top 24 famous quotes and sayings about The Testicles by most favorite authors.

Favorite The Testicles Quotes

1. "The digging continues ... Ground Zero it looks more and more like a construction site. Too much of the horror is gone. No fire. No smoke ... What was war becomes peace, becomes peaceful. But in the coil of my testicles there's an angry residue and in places I can't even name, places inside my throat and behind my chest, I'm sad, and sometimes worse than sad, less than sad, a cavity of empty."
Author: Adam Berlin
2. "I think of the meaning of the word "testimony." Originally it named the custom of two men holding each other's testicles in a gesture of trust, later to metamorphose into the handshake."
Author: Alice Walker
3. "A three-year old was examining his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom,' he asked,'are these my brains?''Not yet.' she replied."
Author: Allan Pease
4. "I think I'd rather ask how a man who ditched his friend at a club in favor of leaving with a heavily stacked redhead with a mouth that could raise the dead could possibly sound so cranky on the morning after. What happened? Did she turn out to be a lesbian?" Dmitri sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose."What is your news, Graham?""I asked first.""And I ignored you," Dmitri growled, "which a man who did not lick his own testicles for recreation would have taken as a hint.""You're just jealous."
Author: Christine Warren
5. "My lawyers will fricassee your testicles for breakfast. And if you dare board my plane without a warrant, your spleen will follow."
Author: Dan Brown
6. "But I'm not good at understanding what other people want.'‘Tell me something I don't know,' said Rosie for no obvious reason.I quickly searched my mind for an interesting fact. ‘Ahhh…The testicles of drone bees and wasp spiders explode during sex."
Author: Graeme Simsion
7. "Special. Cute. Friends. He wished she'd just cut his testicles off and be done with it already. Depending on the next adjective she chose for him, he would either qualify as a card-carrying member of Emasculated Men's Club or a Muppet. No wonder he avoided love for as long as he had. When it went unrequited, it truly sucked."
Author: Jennifer Shirk
8. "Well, of course, you can't expect people to rearrange their minds in five minutes. And I'm not good at this. And I don't want to do it. It's a bore, anyway. Unfortunately I know what will happen if I keep on; I'll say that if we are going to talk about these things, let us please talk about them seriously and our fake Britisher will say that he always takes pretty girls seriously and then I'll say I don't you cut off your testicles and shove them down your throat? and then I'll lose my job and then I'll commit suicide. I once hit a man with a book but that was at a feminist meeting and anyway I didn't hit him really, because he dodged. I have never learned the feminine way of cutting a man down to size, although I can imagine how to do it, but truth to tell, that would go against what I believe, that men must live up to such awful things."
Author: Joanna Russ
9. "Most of the Masters at The Zone would have given both of their testicles for the right to top the Ice Queen."
Author: Joey W. Hill
10. "Ever since, two summers ago, Joe Marino had begun to come into her bed, a preposterous fecundity had overtaken the staked plans, out in the side garden where the southwestern sun slanted in through the line of willows each long afternoon. The crooked little tomato branches, pulpy and pale as if made of cheap green paper, broke under the weight of so much fruit; there was something frantic in such fertility, a crying-out like that of children frantic to please. Of plants, tomatoes seemed the most human, eager and fragile and prone to rot. Picking the watery orange-red orbs, Alexandra felt she was cupping a giant lover's testicles in her hand."
Author: John Updike
11. "On this moment Huey's balls grew threesizes. By Huey's estimates, this made theminhumanly enormous. Ginormous even. In Spanish,the word for testicles is "juevos". This is also theword for eggs. On this moment, Huey's juevos werehard boiled."
Author: Jonathan Culver
12. "Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?"
Author: Julie Kagawa
13. "Why aren't you at your booth?" "She ran out of bats' testicles and hares' anuses," I piped up."Is it anuses or ani?" Roxy asked in an aside, looking perplexed. "You say octopi, don't you? Shouldn't more than one hare's anus be ani?"
Author: Katie MacAlister
14. "I had an ASU student looking for it in my shop last week, and he defined the Bacchants for me as 'those drunk chicks who killed that one dude because he wouldn't have sex with them.' His professors must be so proud. I asked him if he knew what maenads were, and instead of correctly answering that it was just another name for Bacchants, he bizarrely thought I was referring to my own testicles - as in, "'Ere now, mate, don't swing that bat around me nads.'" The conversation deteriorated quickly after that."
Author: Kevin Hearne
15. "She was a widow, and he stripped himself naked while she went to fetch some of her husband's clothes. But before he could put them on, the police were hammering on the front door with their billy clubs. So the fugitive hid on top of a rafter. When the woman let in the police, though, his oversize testicles hung down in full view."Trout paused again.The police asked the woman where the guy was. The woman said she didn't know what guy they were talking about," said Trout. "One of the cops saw the testicles hanging down from a rafter and asked what they were. She said they were Chinese temple bells. He believed her. He said he 'd always wanted to hear Chinese temple bells. "He gave them a whack with his billy club, but there was no sound. So he hit them again, a lot harder, a whole lot harder. Do you know what the guy on the rafter shrieked?" Trout asked me. I said I didn't. "He shrieked, 'TING-A-LING, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
16. "Anaxagoras' belief that lying on the right side during sex would produce a boy was so influential that centuries later some French aristocrats had their left testicles amputated."
Author: Matt Ridley
17. "If you lay a hand on me I'll ram your testicles so far up inside your abdomen it'll take a heart surgeon to get them out."
Author: Orson Scott Card
18. "If its got tires or testicles it's going to give you trouble"
Author: P.C. Cast
19. "But now Nature starts doing things. The hormones start rolling and those old testicles start producing and all the rest of it--like breathing. You don't go around asking for it. It happens. It happened to me when I was twelve.(Sean)"
Author: Paul Zindel
20. "Spartacus," I called, "how's it hanging?" Probably not too well. Once you're dead, had your organs removed, and are resurrected as an undead mummified cat, your testicles probably looked like old raisins that had rolled under the couch. Raisins didn't tend to...hang."
Author: Rob Thurman
21. "And the testicles of the fathers hang down like old lace"
Author: Robert Penn Warren
22. "Carpe Scrotum. Seize life by the testicles"
Author: Rowena Cherry
23. "You're such a crybaby. (Tee)Let me almost shoot off one of your testicles and see how you cope. (Joe)You shouldn't have moved, Joe. It was your fault. (Tee)Yeah, everything's my fault. (Joe)Good, then we agree. (Tee)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
24. "Or his presence may be required so that a string can be tied round his testicles on which the woman can pull as each contraction mounts to a peak of pain, as in the Huichol tribe of Mexico."
Author: Testy McTesterson

The Testicles Quotes Pictures

Quotes About The Testicles
Quotes About The Testicles
Quotes About The Testicles

Today's Quote

All of us desire a better state of society. But society cannot become better before two great tasks are performed.Unless peace can be firmly established and the prevailing obsession with money and power profoundly modified, there is no hope of any desirable change being made."
Author: Aldous Huxley

Famous Authors

Popular Topics