Top Umpire Quotes

Browse top 46 famous quotes and sayings about Umpire by most favorite authors.

Favorite Umpire Quotes

1. "Stay in school kids or you'll end up being an umpire."
Author: Andy Roddick
2. "It had remained a mystery to me, a catholic magic, i suppose. Faith is the best Googly one can bowl: God, the proverbial third umpire."
Author: Aporva Kala
3. "I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands."
Author: Babe Ruth
4. "An angry player can't argue with the back of an umpire who is walking away."
Author: Bill Klem
5. "The most cowardly thing in the world is blaming mistakes upon the umpires. Too many managers strut around on the field trying to manage the umpires instead of their teams."
Author: Bill Klem
6. "I told the umpires to walk back at least thirty-five feet from home plate. That reduced the arguements."
Author: Bill Klem
7. "The best umpired game is the game in which the fans cannot recall the umpires who worked it."
Author: Bill Klem
8. "Your job is to umpire for the ball and not the player."
Author: Bill Klem
9. "Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking."
Author: Bill Vaughan
10. "Boys, I'm one of those umpires that misses 'em every once in a while so if it's close, you'd better hit it."
Author: Cal Hubbard
11. "Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile."
Author: Christy Mathewson
12. "In and effort to be fair, an umpire will sometimes cheat."
Author: Dan Gutman
13. "Chemistry is really about two people who like to act together, I think. It's like tennis in the most cliched way. It's like if you hit the ball, they hit the ball back, and they don't hit it into the stands, and they don't put the ball in their pocket and walk off - and they don't argue with the umpire, you know?"
Author: David Duchovny
14. "The job of arguing with the umpire belongs to the manager, because it won't hurt the team if he gets thrown out of the game."
Author: Earl Weaver
15. "Take pride in your work at all times. Remember, respect for an umpire is created off the field as well as on."
Author: Ford Frick
16. "Bishops are like umpires. You have to have them to call the close decisions."
Author: Frank Butler
17. "People come out to see the players. When do you see a manager anyway? When he's out on the field arguing with the umpires, making a fool of himself and you know you can't win, and when he brings out the line-up card."
Author: Frank Robinson
18. "As all of us with any involvement in sports knows, no two umpires or no two referees have the same strike zone or call the same kind of a basketball game."
Author: Herb Kohl
19. "It is the duty of the Umpire to determine all questions submitted to him according to these laws, when they apply, and according to his best judgment when they do not apply."
Author: Howard Staunton
20. "If either player abandon the game by quitting the table in anger, or in an otherwise offensive manner; or by momentarily resigning the game; or refuses to abide by the decision of the Umpire, the game must be scored against him."
Author: Howard Staunton
21. "Minor league umpires are evaluated in their respective leagues each year and rated numerically. This enables umpires to know where they stand and helps them make prudent career decisions."
Author: Jim Evans
22. "Most plays that are missed by the umpire are caused by the umpire not reading those cues early enough and making the proper adjustments."
Author: Jim Evans
23. "My dad was a carpenter and I would work with him during the summer and umpire on the nights I wasn't playing."
Author: Jim Evans
24. "Umpires, like players, are expected to show constant improvement each season and at each level. Inconsistent plate work and the inability to handle situations are probably the two biggest problems that minor league umpires face."
Author: Jim Evans
25. "When I was 14, I played in a summer league. One night the chief umpire asked me if I would like to try umpiring. There was a Little League tournament coming up and he needed more umpires than he had."
Author: Jim Evans
26. "Professional managers, coaches, and players have a right to question an umpire's decision if they do it in a professional manner. When they become personal, profane, or violent, they have crossed the line and must be dealt with accordingly."
Author: Jim Evans
27. "Jordana is in the umpire's highchair.I walk under the rugby posts and on to the tennis courts, stopping a few metres in front of her, in the service box.Her legs are crossed.I wait for her to speak.'I have two special skills,' she says.She pulls a sheaf of papers from under her bum. I recognize the font and the text boxes. It's my pamphlet.'Blackmail,' she says.She holds up her Zippo in the other hand. I can tell that she has been practising this.'And pyromania.'I am impressed that Jordana knows this word.'Right,' I say.'I'm going to blackmail you, Ol.'I feel powerless. She is in a throne.'Okay,' I say."
Author: Joe Dunthorne
28. "Judges are like umpires. Umpires don't make the rules. They apply them. The role of an umpire and a judge is critical. They make sure everybody plays by the rules. But it is a limited role. Nobody ever went to a ballgame to see the umpire."
Author: John Roberts
29. "Baseball isn't just a game. It's the smell of popcorn drifting in the air, the sight of bugs buzzing near the stadium lights,the roughness of the dirt beneath your cleats. It's the anticipation building in your chest as the anthem plays, the adrenaline rush when your bat cracks against the ball, and the surge of blood when the umpire shouts strike after you pitch. It's a team full of guys backing your every move, a bleacher full of people cheering you on. It's...life"
Author: Katie McGarry
30. "The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal."
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
31. "The Top Spin would raise a glass to Rudi Koertzen, the popular veteran South African umpire who will stand in his 107th and final Test when Pakistan meet Australia at Headingley in July [2010]. But we're slightly worried about being misunderstood. A few years back, in a light-hearted series of profiles of the elite umpires for a newspaper supplement, we suggested Rudi was a 'sociable' character who enjoyed spending a no-more-than-inordinate amount of time at the '19th hole'. Cue a concerned phonecall from the ICC, who wanted to register Rudi's displeasure at the implication. Whoops. Presumably it will be orange juices all round when he finally hangs up the white coat."
Author: Lawrence Booth
32. "I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes."
Author: Leo Durocher
33. "I made a game effort to argue but two things were against me: the umpires and the rules."
Author: Leo Durocher
34. "In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading. The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you."
Author: Leo Durocher
35. "On days like this, baseball would make Michael as happy as it ever did. No umpires. No coaches. No rules except the ones you made up."
Author: Mike Lupica
36. "The globby aliens went a very pale green. The pirates, shiny-black-hair-men, and the piranhas looked at them puzzled, seeking some kind of explanation, as did the wumpires."If two things that are the same thing touch," proclaimed the volcano god, "then the whole Universe shall end. Thus sayeth the great and unutterable Splod.""How does a volcano know so much about transtemporal meta-science?" asked one of the pale green aliens."Being a geological formation gives you a lot of time to think," said Splod. "Also, I subscribe to a number of learned journals."
Author: Neil Gaiman
37. "... a country where we seldom understand that we must be prepared to fight for issues bigger than an umpire's decision at the Melbourne Cricket Ground."
Author: Peter Carey
38. "Step outside the guidelines of the official umpires and make your own rules and your own reality."
Author: Phil Ochs
39. "Those who are esteemed umpires of taste, are often persons who have acquired some knowledge of admired pictures or sculptures, and have an inclination for whatever is elegant; but if you inquire whether they are beautiful souls, and whether their own acts are like fair pictures, you learn that they are selfish and sensual. Their cultivation is local, as if you should rub a log of dry wood in one spot to produce fire, all the rest remaining cold. Their knowledge of the fine arts is some study of rules and particulars, or some limited judgment of color or form which is exercised for amusement or for show. It is a proof of the shallowness of the doctrine of beauty, as it lies in the minds of our amateurs, that men seem to have lost the perception of the instant dependence of form upon soul."
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson
40. "In sum, do not insult me with the beheadings, finger choppings or the lung-deflations you plan for my works. I need my head to shake or nod, my hand to wave or make into a fist, my lungs to shout or whisper with. I will not go gently onto a shelf, degutted, to become a non-book. All you umpires, back to the bleachers. Referees, hit the showers. It's my game. I pitch, I hit, I catch. I run the bases. At sunset I've won or lost. At sunrise, I'm out again, giving it the old try. And no one can help me. Not even you."
Author: Ray Bradbury
41. "Whenever you have a tight situation and there's a close pitch, the umpire gets a squawk no matter how he calls it."
Author: Red Barber
42. "Let no one,' I say, 'who will make me no worthy return for such a loss rob me of a single day; let my mind be fixed upon itself, let it cultivate itself, let it busy itself with nothing outside, nothing that looks towards an umpire; let it love the tranquillity that is remote from public and private concern."
Author: Seneca
43. "A good umpire, like a good FBI agent, is never noticed if he is doing his job."
Author: Thomas Boswell
44. "Ideally, the umpire should combine the integrity of a Supreme Court judge, the physical agility of an acrobat, the endurance of Job and the imperturbability of Buddha."
Author: Time Life Books
45. "A woman is like an umpire. She makes snap decisions and never reverses them."
Author: Vikrant Parsai
46. "Life, a game; you, a player; earth, a playground; money, your score; God, umpire; death, out of game."
Author: Vikrant Parsai

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Very good cooks who are employed as 'chefs' rarely refer to themselves as 'chefs.' They refer to themselves as 'cooks.'"
Author: Alton Brown

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