Top Underpants Quotes

Browse top 40 famous quotes and sayings about Underpants by most favorite authors.

Favorite Underpants Quotes

1. "Sex is one of the most interesting things we as humans have to play with, and we've reduced it to polyester underpants and implants. We are selling ourselves unbelievably short."
Author: Ariel Levy
2. "You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help."
Author: Bill Watterson
3. "Perhaps if by chance I was seen arranging the shop window in my underpants, some lady in need of strong literary emotions would be drawn in and inspired to part with a bit of hard cash. According to expert opinion, the future of literature depends on women and as God is my witness the female is yet to be born who can resist the allure of this stupendous physique."
Author: Carlos Ruiz Zafón
4. "Susan was already rehearsing excuses in case she was caught: I just got my period and I was looking for a tissue to stuff in my underpants. Men didn't question menstruation stories. Ever. You could probably get into the White House if you said you needed a tampon ASAP."
Author: Chelsea Cain
5. "Noriega wound up like a baseball pitcher on top of the bed and hurled the small gun, but was low and outside for a ball. His tight-fitting house dress was bunched up high on his chubby thighs, exposing olive drab underwear.I see London, I see France, I see a crazy dictator's underpants!Chase's thoughts raced."
Author: Cole Alpaugh
6. "He's getting away you idiots! Shoot him. I'm wearing Spider-Man underpants!"
Author: Cuthbert Soup
7. "Firstly, being a local councillor, he was probably a cunt! A real 'book-waving-starch-underpants-wearing-precedent - quoting-sub-section-paragraph-thee-looking-up' sort of arsehole who lived his life by the numbers and reported his neighbours if they so much as tried to put up a bird-table without planning permission."
Author: Danny King
8. "I created 'Captain Underpants' when I was in the second grade. I was constantly getting in trouble for being the class clown, so my teacher sent me out into the hallway to punish me. It was there in the hall that I began drawing 'Captain Underpants'. Soon I was making my own comic books about him."
Author: Dav Pilkey
9. "It used to take me forever to read and comprehend stuff, so I decided not to make the 'Captain Underpants' books too challenging. Don't get me wrong - the humor and ideas are often sophisticated - but the books aren't hard to read. I wanted kids who hate reading to find these books irresistible."
Author: Dav Pilkey
10. "We were running all over the front lawn and under the rainspouts, barefooted, in our underpants, with the rain pelting down, straight cold gray rain of Delta summers, wonderful rain. -Mexico"
Author: Ellen Gilchrist
11. "By the power bestowed in me by the Ministry of Silly Underpants . . ."
Author: Graham Chapman
12. "Here, Lin,' he puffed. 'You are such a big fellow, I hope we can get a good fits. These are from Fat Satish. He is so fat, I think they might fit you. I told him a story, and then he gave it this two pairs for you. I told him that on the journey you had loose motions, and you made such a mess in your over-underpants that we had to throw them away.' 'You told him,' I asked, 'that I shit my pants?' 'Oh, yes, Lin. I certainly couldn't tell him that you have no over-underpants!' 'Well, of course not."
Author: Gregory David Roberts
13. "The full moon cast an eerie glow through thick ancient dark woods. In the shadows around a tree, the serial killer ran his knife lovingly over Chelsea's trussed dead body. She lay, as if posed for a photo, wearing only bloody pink underpants."
Author: H. Raven Rose
14. "But ever since I made the decision to drop a few pounds-way less easy than it sounds, by the way-I've become obsessed with my size and in so doing I've inadvertently allowed my inner critic to have a voice. And you know what? She's a bitch. Like now when I see my underpants in the laundry, I no longer think Soft! Cotton! Sensible! Instead I hear her say Damn, girl, these panties be huge."
Author: Jen Lancaster
15. "People say, 'All my son will read is 'Captain Underpants,' or 'My son is crazy about shark books, is that O.K.?' I want to be the person to say, 'Yeah, that's really O.K., as long as he's motivated to want to read.'"
Author: Jon Scieszka
16. "Thank God she wasn't still hanging out in her underpants."
Author: Julie James
17. "The saga begins. May the force be with you always and forever if you've bought a copy. Or plan to do so. May the wrath of a 1000 locusts infest your underpants if you don't plan to *Smack!!* :-)"
Author: Kartik Iyengar
18. "Stirred with passion, laced with fun, spiked with laughter & served with a smile. On the road. No sugar, no milk. Horn OK Please. Buy my books or may the wrath of a thousand locusts infest your underpants *Smack!!* :-)"
Author: Kartik Iyengar
19. "I got dressed. You can't be Midnight Mayor in your underpants."
Author: Kate Griffin
20. "She'll need new shirts, please, Mr. Maxim. Women's shirts. And, my Lord, those trousers!"Sophie didn't see the problem. Trousers were just skirts with extra sewing. "I need them," she said. "Please let me keep them. You can't climb in a skirt. Or, you can, but then everyone would see your underpants, and surely that would be worse?"Miss Eliot frowned. She was not the sort of person who admitted to wearing underpants."
Author: Katherine Rundell
21. "Torn clothing littered the ground, more hung from bushes. Nick held up half a pair of white panties and grinned at me."Wild dogs? Or just Clayton?""Oh God," I muttered under my breath.I walked over to snatch the underwear from him, but he held it over his head, grinning like a schoolboy."I see Paris, I see France, I see Elena's underpants," he chanted."Everyone's already seen much more than that," Jeremy said. "I think we can safely resume the search."Peter plucked Clay's shirt from a low-hanging branch and held it up, peering through a hole in the middle. "You guys can really do some damage. Where's the hidden video when you need it?""So this--uh--wasn't done by wild dogs?" one of the searchers said.Peter grinned and tossed the shirt to the ground. "Nope. Just wild hormones."
Author: Kelley Armstrong
22. "So now we can build an unselfish society by devoting to unselfishness the frenzy we once devoted to gold and to underpants."
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
23. "I see England,I see France;I see a little girl'sUnderpants!"
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
24. "Those East Coast rich kids are a different breed, on a fast track to nowhere. Your friends in Seattle are downright Canadian in their niceness. None of you has a cell phone. The girls wear hoodies and big cotton underpants and walk around with tangled hair and smiling, adorned backpacks. Do you know how absolutely exotic it is that you haven't been corrupted by fashion and pop culture? A month ago I mentioned Ben Stiller, and do you remember how you responded? ‘Who's that?' I loved you all over again."
Author: Maria Semple
25. "It's us," Stephen said."Oh, thank God," said a voice.Callum emerged from behind the Dumpster. Even with all that was going on, it was hard not to take notice of this: he wore only his underpants and his socks and shoes....I don't think I hid my staring very well either."Go ahead and change," Stephen said, handing me the bag. "I'll go and get the car.""Please be quick," Callum added. "This is not as fun as it appears."
Author: Maureen Johnson
26. "During the first break-in I grabbed a load of hangers and thought, 'Magic', I'll be able to sell this stuff down the pub. But I'd forgotten to take a flashlight with me, and it turned out that the clothes I'd nicked were a bunch of babies' bibs and toddlers' underpants.I might as well have tried to sell a turd."
Author: Ozzy Osbourne
27. "Stoicism sure comes in handy when they take away your underpants."
Author: Piper Kerman
28. "Yes I remember my sixteenth." Vitellius said "Wonderful omen! Happily chicken in my underpants.""Excuse me."
Author: Rick Riordan
29. "Poseidon's underpants! You can't be serious."
Author: Rick Riordan
30. "I sighed, sinking back, head filling with pleasant images; pictures Pietr floated to the surface. Kisses scorched along my face and neck. "Pietr...."There was a growl, and I felt fingers at the waistband of my jeans. The button opened and a hand traced along the top of my underpants."No," I said. The kissing resumed, harder. "Jessica." The word rumbled in someone's throat. Not Pietr's. To him, I was Jess."No," I insisted, trying to pry my eyes open. Something was wrong....Not Pietr... I pushed at the chest above me, my eyelids stinging as I willed them apart."Relax..." a voice said, lips dragging along the cornerof my jaw, filling my head with honey, sticky and sweet...."
Author: Shannon Delany
31. "This is getting ugly." – Abigail"Like my great-aunt's underpants." – Sundown"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
32. "Underpants! Underpants!"
Author: Sophie Kinsella
33. "Let's not mince words: the inside of the Sydney casino looks as if Vegas had an illegitimate child with Liberace's underpants, and that child fell down a staircase and hit its head on the edge of a spade."
Author: Steve Toltz
34. "She lay on her back and walked her fingers down her ribs, skipped them over her abdomen, and landed on her pelvic bones. She tapped them with her Knuckles. [. . .] I can hear my bones, she thought. Her fingers moved up from her pelvic bones to her waist. The elastic of her underpants barely touched the center of her abdomen. The bridge is almost finished, she thought. The elastic hung loosely around each thigh. More progress. She put her knees together and raised them in the air. No matter how tightly she pressed them together, her thighs did not touch."
Author: Steven Levenkron
35. "About every six to eight months, I run into a man who astounds me sexually, but between escapades, I'm celibate, which I don't think is any big deal. After two unsuccessful marriages, I find myself keeping my guard up, along with my underpants."
Author: Sue Grafton
36. "Bursar?""Yes, Archchancellor?""You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?""Me? No, Archchancellor.""Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head."
Author: Terry Pratchett
37. "And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head."
Author: Terry Pratchett
38. "It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific."
Author: Tina Fey
39. "I was ten years old. I had noticed something was weird earlier in the day but I knew from commercials that one's menstrual period was a blue liquid that you poured like laundry detergent onto maxi pads to test their absorbency. This wasn't blue so...I ignored it for a few hours. When we got home I pulled my mom aside to ask if it was weird I was bleeding in my underpants. She was very sympathetic but also a little baffled. Her eyes said "Dummy didn't you read 'How Shall I Tell My Daughter ". I HAD read it but nowhere in the pamphlet did anyone say that your period was NOT a blue liquid. At that moment two things became clear to me I was now technically a woman and I would never be a doctor."
Author: Tina Fey
40. "Trying to Enjoy It (Proceed as if You Look Awesome)...This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens, but you can do it. It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific. Your "right mind" knows that you look ridiculous in a half-open dress and giant shoes, but you must put yourself back in third grade, slipping on your mom's quilted caftan and drinking cream soda out of a champagne glass while watching The Love Boat. You have never been more glamorous."
Author: Tina Fey

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Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
Author: Cher

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