Top Vagina Quotes

Browse top 171 famous quotes and sayings about Vagina by most favorite authors.

Favorite Vagina Quotes

1. "What is a flower? A giant sexual organ in its Sunday best. The truth has been known for a long time, yet, over-aged adolescents that we are, we persist in speaking sentimental drives about the delicacy of flowers. We construct idiotic phrases like "So-and-so is in the flower of his youth", which is as absurd as saying "in the vagina of his youth"."
Author: Amélie Nothomb
2. "A host of scorpions crawl out from under the wetnurse's dress and start swarming in her vagina which swells and splits, becomes transparent and shimmers like the sun"
Author: Antonin Artaud
3. "Be glad you don't have a vagina," my friend, who does have a vagina, told me. "You have to have a special doctor. You have to have these awful exams where you basically get naked and then remove your dignity. And then the various parts down there can get cancer and have to get cut out. I'm telling you, having a vagina is like having a pet. Like a dog that's always chasing cars."When she described it this way, it did seem a blessing that I was born without a vagina. I mean, I can't even handle having a heart."
Author: Augusten Burroughs
4. "Forgive me if I don't take relationship advice from a dead teenager missing her vagina."
Author: Brian K. Vaughan
5. "But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'I understand. So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.a) Do you have a vagina? andb) Do you want to be in charge of it?If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist."
Author: Caitlin Moran
6. "Only the "˜intercourse' part." Miranda makes quotation marks with her fingers. "Why do they call it intercourse anyway? It makes it sound like it's some kind of conversation. Which it isn't. It's penetration, pure and simple. There's no give-and-take involved.""It's an act of war," Miranda objects, getting heated."The penis is saying, "˜Let me in,' and the vagina is saying, "˜Get the hell away from me, creep."
Author: Candace Bushnell
7. "I do so love my witches and wicked queens. I find myself drawn to feminine archetypes that previous generations have found threatening or dangerous: crones, oracles, madwomen, Amazons, virgins who aren't helpless, bad mothers. I love to give the vagina dentata voice. It so rarely gets to speak for itself."
Author: Catherynne M. Valente
8. "After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow. It's a condition not unlike tennis elbow, but you get it from masturbating."
Author: Chelsea Handler
9. "Death growls mostly bore me. Whowants to hear the Cookie Monster?Sing your fucking lyrics. Put someemotion behind it."And Ghost's usual retaliation."Aw, I'm sorry. Do you need a hug,emo boy? You know, you mightwant to cross your legs. Yourvagina is showing.""Suck my dick.""I know you'd like that, butCandace would have to return itfirst.""Burn!"
Author: Cherrie Lynn
10. "Women might just have something to contribute to civilization other than their vaginas"."
Author: Christopher Buckley
11. "Cassie Wright's largest audience, the only part of her audience still growing, is composed of sixteen-to-twenty-five-year-old men. These men buy her backlist movies, her plastic breast relics and pocket vaginas, but not for any erotic purpose. They collect the blow-up sex surrogates and signature lingerie as some form of religious relics. Souvenirs of the real mother, the perfect mother they never had. Frankenstein parts or religious totems of the mother they'll spend the rest of their lives trying to find -who'll praise them enough, support them enough, love them enough."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
12. "Picture-perfect, state-of-the-art vaginas lengthened using sections of colon, self-cleaning and lubricated with its own mucosa. Sensate clitorises made by cropping and rerouting bits of the glans penis. The Cadillac of vaginoplasty. Some of these Cadillacs turn out so succesful that the flood of colon mucosa means wearing a maxipad every day."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
13. "Jake and Chris talk through art and discover they have so much in common it's amazing. Like, They Could Be Boyfriends If They Didn't Like Vaginas So Much Amazing."
Author: Courtney Summers
14. "I get it now. Why Noah put that art room together for Allie. It wasn't because he was a vagina; it was because he didn't have a choice. She was it for him. No matter what he did, there was never gonna be anyone but her. So all he could do was set up the room and hope to God that one day she'd show up to use it. And that pretty much sums up exactly how I feel about you. So I did this—" I gesture around the room "—because I want you in my life, Kate. Permanently."
Author: Emma Chase
15. "It's a totally ridiculous, completely unsexy word. If you use it during sex, trying to be politically correct-- "Darling, could you stroke my vagina?"-- you kill the act right there. I'm worried about vaginas, what we call them and don't call them."
Author: Eve Ensler
16. "Somatize: how the body defends itself against too much stress, manifesting psychological distress as physical symptoms in the stomach or nerves or uterus or vagina... women who had suffered physical, emotional, and sexual abuse tended to somatize more. It turns out that somatization is related to hysteria, which stems from the Greek cognate of uterus... Uterus = hysteria. Hysteria -- a word to make women feel insane for knowing what they know. Hysteria is caused by suffering from a huge traume where there is an underlying conflict."
Author: Eve Ensler
17. "Later on, still looking, she had tried to get involved with the Women's Community Center. She liked what they stood for but secretly wished they would wear just a little lipstick and shave their legs. She had been the only one in the room in full makeup, wearing pantyhose and earrings. She had wanted to belong, but when the woman suggested that next week they bring a mirror so they could all study their vaginas, she never went back."
Author: Fannie Flagg
18. "I can describe an axe entering a human skull in great explicit detail and no one will blink twice at it. I provide a similar description, just as detailed, of a penis entering a vagina, and I get letters about it and people swearing off. To my mind this is kind of frustrating, it's madness. Ultimately, in the history of [the] world, penises entering vaginas have given a lot of people a lot of pleasure; axes entering skulls, well, not so much."
Author: George R.R. Martin
19. "Let me get straight on this. You don't want to be the girl to wear out your welcome, but you'll be the girl who lets him wear out your vagina?"She slaps my arm in the dark. "That's just crude, Laurie." She giggles. "But oh so true. He did wear it out like a champ."
Author: Georgia Cates
20. "I am inundated with feeling. I feel like a pinball machine on tilt. All the buzzers are ringing, lights are flashing, and I am about to fry my circuits. Nothing is coming in,and nothing is going out. I feel electrified. The wires ignited, sparked, and fizzled. I want it all to slow down. I go right to the water to douse my flame. I immerse myself in the hot water. I want to wash the smells off my body. I can smell Isabella's hair, her breath, and her child vaginal scent. My hair smells of smoke,and I want to wash Francis off me."
Author: Holly A. Smith
21. "What's so beautiful about girls?" I would implore.And the secret society of adults would reply with a smirk and wink as if I was merely a boy who couldn't possibly have the mental maturity to comprehend such grown-up concepts as love and bleeding vaginas; "You'll understand someday, James."
Author: Jake Vander Ark
22. "We made up, and I knew just how to do that. I told her, "I feel like dancing. Let me grab my dancing shoes and stick-on mustache (better to tickle your vagina with)." And she replied, "My vagina already has its own mustache."
Author: Jarod Kintz
23. "A skyscraper is to a brick as a pyramid is to____________A) a vagina, B) a particular vagina, or C) your mother's vagina."
Author: Jarod Kintz
24. "Can you tell by where my eyes are looking what I'm thinking? Hint: I'm staring directly at your vagina."
Author: Jarod Kintz
25. "I think it's genetically impossible not to be kind of in love with him when you come equipped with a vagina. It's just something about all that angsty, moody swagger he has that makes you want to cuddle him up and make him feel better."
Author: Jay Crownover
26. "...I just want to clarify that I don't mean 'without my vagina' like I didn't have it with me at the time. I just mean that I wasn't, you know...displaying it while I was at Starbucks. That's probably understood, but I thought I should clarify, since it's the first chapter and you don't know that much about me. So just to clarify, I always have my vagina with me. It's like my American Express card. (In that I don't leave home without it. Not that I use it to buy stuff with.)"
Author: Jenny Lawson
27. "Okay, I'm going to move on before I suddenly grow a vagina or something ..."
Author: Joanne McClean
28. "There were those apres-sex moments when, in a half-asleep or forgetting that I was with a woman, I would reach out and touch her vagina- only to suddenly pull back my hand, as if surprised."
Author: John Irving
29. "...because my vagina is stupid."
Author: Julie Klausner
30. "Sorry, I didn't know that you had a vagina, I'll refrain from using vulgar words for now on. How about it smells like pee pee and poo poo, with a little bit of spew, is that better?""You're a real character, you know that?""Thanks, I try," she says. "Now, let's get the shi-stuff and get out of here.""Fine," I say. "But for future reference, I like it better when you curse. It's pretty funny to see a pissed off Tinkerbell." I run from the baseball mitt being hurled at my head, laughing all the way ."
Author: Katelin LaMontagne
31. "My fear of camping: I'm convinced bugs will crawl up my vagina and lay eggs. Isn't everyone?"
Author: Kathy Griffin
32. "I stare at his forearms. I can make out a naked woman with a snake going up her vagina. She's holding a knife, slitting her own throat. There are three playing cards on the back of his right hand: the Queen of Spades, the Jack of Hearts and the Joker. Red flames lick his elbow.There's a watch tattooed on his left wrist with ‘Fuck Time' inscribed on its face. Fuck o'clock.He's not that tall, but his body is carefully cut. The lines of his face, his cheekbones and jaw, are sharp and precise. I can see the tufts of his blond underarm hairs and under them the ladder of his ribs. He's beautiful, in the way that a knife is beautiful."
Author: Kirsty Eagar
33. "So many vaginas, stomachs, cocks, snouts, and flies you don't know what to do with them ... shovelsfull! ... but hearts? ... very rare! in the last five hundred million years too many cocks and gastric tubes to count ... but hearts? ... on your fingers! ..."
Author: Louis Ferdinand Céline
34. "Really, for all the poetry in the world on the subject, when you get right down to it, it's mostly just boom! penis vagina."
Author: Martin Leicht
35. "Whilst lovers: to control her man, a woman uses (the man's access to) her vagina. When ex-lovers: she uses (the man's access to) their kids."
Author: Mokokoma Mokhonoana
36. "For a nymphomaniac like myself, I suppose there could be no job more suitable than prostitution; it is my God-given destiny. No matter how violent a man might be, or how ugly, at the moment we're in the act I cannot help but love him. And what's more I'll grant his every wish, no matter how shameful. In fact, the more twisted my partner is, the more attracted I will be to him, because my ability to meet my lover's demands is the one way I can feel alive.That is my virtue. It is also my biggest flaw. I can't deny a man. I'm like a vagina incarnate—female essence embodied. If I ever were to deny a man, I would stop being me."
Author: Natsuo Kirino
37. "There was a pause, and then Damien said, "I nominate Erik Night."Shaunee rolled her eyes.Erin said, "Okay, how many times do we have to explain this to you--the boy is not on your team. He likes breasts and vaginas, not penises and anu--""Stop!" I absolutely did not want to get off on this subject. "I think Erik Night is a good choice, and not because he likes me or, well..."
Author: P.C. Cast
38. "I'm a demon sent by God in his scorn for man's sins to entice thee with" - I cringed - a voodoo vagina"
Author: Pam Godwin
39. "I'm sure her vagina isn't sticking out." I look at Poppy. "Jesus, it's not sticking out is it?""Go say something encouraging to that girl, Warren."I pull Lilla's arm along, because I'll be damned, if there's a hideous vagina sticking out I'm not foregoing this shit alone."
Author: Pella Grace
40. "Jaxon snorted in disbelief. He cupped his sac just to make sure his balls and dick were still there. If he hadn't been so content in his life he would've thought he was growing a vagina."
Author: Senayda Pierre
41. "Now, this is where I draw the line! It's bad enough everybody in town's going to be thinkin' I'm sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she's just about cornered the market on condoms-I don't know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin' a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me?"
Author: Susan Elizabeth Phillips
42. "I no longer blame Thing Woman or myself quite so much for N´s leaving us. I look at him sometimes for an unguarded moment and see a tall, crooked man with yellowing teeth and a leer. I see new N. Bad N. Vulnerable to anyone with a vagina. I also see Good N, just a glimpse, here and there. And Noncommittal N, an extra in his own life, just hitting his marks and looking well pressed. He´s become a whole group of people, a cache of ghosts tugging at my sleeve.Good N was phenomenal."
Author: Suzanne Finnamore
43. "Oh fuck, he was right there. I was wet as hell and he could probably smell me now. I should have eaten strawberries or melon or a dozen roses or an entire mint plant. Did that work for women? I read an article that it worked for men. Their spunk tasted like what they ate. Did my vagina taste like spaghetti right now? God dammit! I shouldn't have eaten dinner!"
Author: Tara Sivec
44. "I don't give a rat's ass what Garrett's favorite color is. And for the record, I have a vagina, so I'm well aware of the fact I can look hot without looking slutty."
Author: Tara Sivec
45. "I hope his penis falls off. I hope it rots and falls off inside of Miss Teen USA, therefore causing her perfect, twenty-two-year-old vagina to rot and fall out of her thong when she sneezes."
Author: Tara Sivec
46. "Do not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina."
Author: Tara Sivec
47. "Yes, and in just a few minutes, a dIck will be able to find your vagina without needing night vision goggles and a weed whacker."
Author: Tara Sivec
48. "I changed my mind. Maybe I do want a black hole for a vagina. How bad could it be? I wouldn't need to carry a purse anymore. I could just shove things up my twat. 'Oh, you need a pen? Hold on, let me check in my vagina. What's that you say? Do I have a flashlight? Let me stick my hand up my vag and find out.' Let's go home. We could do a home birth in the bathtub. It might be a tight squeeze but I bet we could both fit in there."
Author: Tara Sivec
49. "I gained fifty-six pounds when I was pregnant with him. Do you have any idea what it's like to look down and not be able to see your vagina?""Uh, no," I muttered."My ass had its own zip code."
Author: Tara Sivec
50. "God gave man the strength to conquer the world, but God gave woman a vagina to conquer man"
Author: Treasure Blue

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