Top Vaginas Quotes

Browse top 32 famous quotes and sayings about Vaginas by most favorite authors.

Favorite Vaginas Quotes

1. "He never got a really proper look at them, but the situation told him it must be a swarming flock of vaginas that flew all around his head, biting him toothlessly on his ears and his cheeks and his neck."
Author: Chris Adrian
2. "Women might just have something to contribute to civilization other than their vaginas"."
Author: Christopher Buckley
3. "The religious school she went to, growing up, Ms. Wright said how all the girls had to wear a scarf tied to cover their ears at all times. Based on the biblical idea that the Virgin Mary became pregnant when the Holy Spirit whispered in her ear. The idea that ears were vaginas. That, hearing just one wrong idea, you lost your innocence. One detail too many and you'd be ruined. Overdosed on information."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
4. "Cassie Wright's largest audience, the only part of her audience still growing, is composed of sixteen-to-twenty-five-year-old men. These men buy her backlist movies, her plastic breast relics and pocket vaginas, but not for any erotic purpose. They collect the blow-up sex surrogates and signature lingerie as some form of religious relics. Souvenirs of the real mother, the perfect mother they never had. Frankenstein parts or religious totems of the mother they'll spend the rest of their lives trying to find -who'll praise them enough, support them enough, love them enough."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
5. "Picture-perfect, state-of-the-art vaginas lengthened using sections of colon, self-cleaning and lubricated with its own mucosa. Sensate clitorises made by cropping and rerouting bits of the glans penis. The Cadillac of vaginoplasty. Some of these Cadillacs turn out so succesful that the flood of colon mucosa means wearing a maxipad every day."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
6. "Jake and Chris talk through art and discover they have so much in common it's amazing. Like, They Could Be Boyfriends If They Didn't Like Vaginas So Much Amazing."
Author: Courtney Summers
7. "McG: 11:39 PM: Tease. A: Bushy prehistoric looking veggies frighten me.Lilliana: 11:41 PM: WTH are we talking about here? McG: 11:42 PM: Fucking auto correct. VAGINAS! Bushy vaginas put the fear of God in me. Seriously, Lilly, if you've got one, groom that shit unless you want to see a grown alpha male curl into the fetal position and cry. It won't be pretty. Just sayin"
Author: Ella Dominguez
8. "Vaginas beat penises every time. They're like kryptonite.Penises are defenseless against them."
Author: Emma Chase
9. "Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die."
Author: Eugene Mirman
10. "I bet you're worried. I was worried. I was worried about vaginas. I was worried about what we think about vaginas, and even more worried that we don't think about them."
Author: Eve Ensler
11. "It's a totally ridiculous, completely unsexy word. If you use it during sex, trying to be politically correct-- "Darling, could you stroke my vagina?"-- you kill the act right there. I'm worried about vaginas, what we call them and don't call them."
Author: Eve Ensler
12. "Later on, still looking, she had tried to get involved with the Women's Community Center. She liked what they stood for but secretly wished they would wear just a little lipstick and shave their legs. She had been the only one in the room in full makeup, wearing pantyhose and earrings. She had wanted to belong, but when the woman suggested that next week they bring a mirror so they could all study their vaginas, she never went back."
Author: Fannie Flagg
13. "I can describe an axe entering a human skull in great explicit detail and no one will blink twice at it. I provide a similar description, just as detailed, of a penis entering a vagina, and I get letters about it and people swearing off. To my mind this is kind of frustrating, it's madness. Ultimately, in the history of [the] world, penises entering vaginas have given a lot of people a lot of pleasure; axes entering skulls, well, not so much."
Author: George R.R. Martin
14. "Puedes describir con todo detalle como un hacha penetra en el cráneo de una persona y nadie se quejará. Pero si describes con igual detalle cómo un pene entra en una vagina, recibes un montón de cartas de lectores diciéndote que no volverán a leerte nunca más. ¿Qué es eso? Los penes entrando en las vaginas traen al mundo mucha más felicidad que los hachas clavándose en los cráneos de las personas."
Author: George R.R. Martin
15. "[In reference to vaginas] Someone saying you're "too loose"? Maybe that person's previous experience has been with women who weren't aroused (which, in the case of young adults, ins't that unusual)...Since many people think that penetration is supposed to be painful at first, a lot of them don't know how to wait for full arousal or make penetration comfortable. So, if a partner is saying you're "too loose," either they're simply experiencing a relaxed, aroused partner for the first time, or they're blowing smoke - either because they think it's the thing to say, or they were expecting to feel trapped in a vise, which is not how penetration should feel for either partner."
Author: Heather Corinna
16. "Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises -- except for those of us who have vaginas."
Author: Howard Stern
17. "What's so beautiful about girls?" I would implore.And the secret society of adults would reply with a smirk and wink as if I was merely a boy who couldn't possibly have the mental maturity to comprehend such grown-up concepts as love and bleeding vaginas; "You'll understand someday, James."
Author: Jake Vander Ark
18. "Why aren't any cars shaped like vaginas? More people would probably wear them on their feet while they run."
Author: Jarod Kintz
19. "So what's this about a book club? You girls sit around, reading dirty books, fanning each other's vaginas? Because if so, count me in!"
Author: Jay McLean
20. "If someone asked me to pick out my own vagina's mug shot out of a lineup of vaginas, I'd be helpless. And probably concerned about what exactly my vagina had been doing that constituted a need for its own mug shot."
Author: Jenny Lawson
21. "You're all full of bullsh*t. In the last couple of months, I've had to listen to the three of you talk about your feelings more than a damn talk show. I swear you've all grown vaginas."
Author: Lexi Blake
22. "You make my vagina all melty,--wait no!--You make my belly all melty. My vaginas hot!"
Author: Lola Stark
23. "So many vaginas, stomachs, cocks, snouts, and flies you don't know what to do with them ... shovelsfull! ... but hearts? ... very rare! in the last five hundred million years too many cocks and gastric tubes to count ... but hearts? ... on your fingers! ..."
Author: Louis Ferdinand Céline
24. "Now I know... we have at least two friends!... Cillie von Leiden and the hunchback... not bad in our situation... or, come right down to it, no matter where and when, peace, dead calm, wars, convulsions... so many vaginas, stomachs, cocks, snouts, and flies you don't know what to do with them... shovelsful!... but hearts?... very rare!"
Author: Louis Ferdinand Céline
25. "Anne Marie's beauty and style belie a down-and-dirty education in the particulars of practical AI (artificial insemination). She has miked a boar of his prodigious ejaculate--over two hundred milliliters (a cup), as compared to a man's three milliliters--and she has done it with her hand. For, unlike stallions and bulls, boars don't cotton to artificial vaginas. (in part, because their penis, like their tail, is corkscrewed.) AI techs must squeeze the organ in their hand--hard and without letup--for the entire duration of the ejaculation: from five to fifteen minutes. "You should see the size of their hands," she says, of the men and women who regular ejaculate boars."
Author: Mary Roach
26. "I loved Jerry, and I wanted to have his baby." She laughed. "This was before women started looking at their vaginas in hand mirrors and Gloria Steinem told us we could be more than just mothers."
Author: Michael Thomas Ford
27. "Vaginas are, after all, like snowflakes, only warmer and softer, and bleed like a gaping wound monthly…wait, what was I saying? Oh, right, vaginas are like snowflakes in that each one is different. So that fancy two-finger swirl trick that worked wonders on your last girlfriend? Yeah, no guarantee it'll work the same way on the new one."
Author: Olivia Munn
28. "There was a pause, and then Damien said, "I nominate Erik Night."Shaunee rolled her eyes.Erin said, "Okay, how many times do we have to explain this to you--the boy is not on your team. He likes breasts and vaginas, not penises and anu--""Stop!" I absolutely did not want to get off on this subject. "I think Erik Night is a good choice, and not because he likes me or, well..."
Author: P.C. Cast
29. "When asked why I don't believe in God I reply, quite simply, "vaginas"."
Author: Robert Clark
30. "After fifteen years of making my living in stand-up, The Sarah Silverman Program has been a lesson in collaboration. Rob, Dan, and I live by the mantra "Whoever is most passionate." If I was mentoring someone, that's the Shandling-esque advice I would proffer: Find people you really respect and trust, and then at each decision, heed the most passionate voice. I love that because it eliminates nearly all struggle. And when you're doing a show that's mostly about farts, penises, and vaginas, there should be as little struggle as possible."
Author: Sarah Silverman
31. "Buddies didn't have touchable breasts or intriguing vaginas. Buddies were people you burped around and bragged to about other women."
Author: Victoria Dahl
32. "Case shuffled into the nearest door and watched the other passengers as he rode. A pair of predatory-looking Christian Scientists were edging toward a trio of young office techs who wore idealized holographic vaginas on their wrists, wet pink glittering under the harsh lighting. The techs licked their perfect lips nervously and eyed the Christian Scientists from beneath lowered metallic lids. The girls looked like tall, exotic grazing animals, swaying gracefully and unconsciously with the movement of the train, their high heels like polished hooves against the gray metal of the car's floor. Before they could stampede, take flight from the missionaries, the train reached Case's station."
Author: William Gibson

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It felt as though I had been holding on to Sally all these years, by the tips of my fingers. Just holding on. She was like a moth, fragile and fleeting. One rough breath, one lurch , one tiny movement of your hand and she'd fly away from you."
Author: Belinda Jeffrey

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