Top Vetinari Quotes

Browse top 23 famous quotes and sayings about Vetinari by most favorite authors.

Favorite Vetinari Quotes

1. "Moist waited. Lord Vetinari could outstare a statue and make even a statue start to feel nervous and confess. Moist's counter was a fetching grin, which he knew annoyed Vetinari beyond measure, and there was absolute silence in the Oblong Office while blank stare and cheery grin battled it out for supremacy in some other dimension."
Author: Terry Pratchett
2. "Apparently," Vetinari remarked to Drumknott, "the pounding of the railway wagons will lead to immorality."
Author: Terry Pratchett
3. "I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat.-Lord Vetinari"
Author: Terry Pratchett
4. "Vetinari gave him a look that did not actually employ a raised eyebrow but which implied that one might be forthcoming if the recipient of the look pushed his luck."
Author: Terry Pratchett
5. "No," said his cousin. "I've had enough of this. Let's write to the newspapers! That's the way to get things done. Everyone's complaining about the fruit and vegetables and the seafood. Vetinari should be made to understand the plight of the small-time entrepreneur. After all, what do we occasionally pay our taxes for?"
Author: Terry Pratchett
6. "Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, poked at the ink in his inkwell. There was ice in it."Don't you even have a proper fire?" said Hughnon Ridcully, High Priest of Blind Io and unofficial spokesman for the city's religious establishment. "I mean, I'm not one for stuffy rooms, but it's freezing in here!""Brisk, certainly," said Lord Vetinari. "It's odd, but the ice isn't as dark as the rest of the ink. What causes that, do you think?""Science, probably," said Hughnon vaguely."
Author: Terry Pratchett
7. "Oh, that's just Thud! That's easy!" yapped a voice.Both men turned to look at Horsefry, who had been made perky by sheer relief."I used to play it when I was a kid," he burbled. It's boring. The dwarfs always win!"Gilt and Vetinari shared a look. It said: While I loathe you and every aspect of your personal philosophy to a depth unplummable by any line, I'll credit you at least with not being Crispin Horsefry."
Author: Terry Pratchett
8. "I have to ask, sir...Why does it have to be done like this?"Vetinari smiled. "Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?""Oh, yes, sir. I've kept lots.""Capital. And the point is, so can I. You do not need to know."
Author: Terry Pratchett
9. "William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir."Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions."
Author: Terry Pratchett
10. "Mission motto, sir," said Carrot cheerfully. "Morituri Nolumus Mori. Rincewind suggested it.""I imagine he did," said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard coldly. "And would you care to give us a colloquial translation, Mr Rincewind?""Er..." Rincewind hesitated, but there really was no escape. "Er... roughly speaking, it means, 'We who are about to die don't want to', sir."
Author: Terry Pratchett
11. "A man can learn all of an opponent's weaknesses on that board,' said Gilt.'Really?' said Vetinari, raising his eyebrows. 'Should not he be trying to learn his own?"
Author: Terry Pratchett
12. "Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war."
Author: Terry Pratchett
13. "The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one."
Author: Terry Pratchett
14. "Vimes stuck his helmet under his arm, smoothed back his hair, and knocked. He'd considered asking Sargent Colon to accompany him, but had brushed the idea aside quickly. He couldn't have tolerated the sniggering. Anyway, what was there to be afraid of? He'd stared into the jaws of death three times; four, if you included telling Vetinari to shut up."
Author: Terry Pratchett
15. "The tincture of night began to diffuse the soup of the afternoon.Lord Vetinari considered the sentence, and found it good. He liked 'tincture' particularly. Tincture. Tincture. It was a distinguished word, and pleasantly countered by the flatness of 'soup'. Yes. In which may well be found the croutons of teatime."
Author: Terry Pratchett
16. "You're not suggesting that Vetinari tucks into a nice rat every day?" said Angua."I've heard he uses rats as spies, so I don't think he'd use them as elevenses," said Carrot."
Author: Terry Pratchett
17. "And these are your reasons, my lord?""Do you think I have others?" said Lord Vetinari. "My motives, as ever, are entirely transparent."Hughnon reflected that 'entirely transparent' meant either that you could see right through them or that you couldn't see them at all."
Author: Terry Pratchett
18. "He shrugged. - They're just people - he said. - They're just doing what people do. Sir.Lord Vetinari gave him a friendly smile.- Of course, of course - he said. - You have to believe that, I appreciate. Otherwise you'd go quite mad. Otherwise you'd think you're standing on a feather-thin bridge over the vaults of Hell. Otherwise existence would be a dark agony and the only hope would be that there is no life after death. I quite understand."
Author: Terry Pratchett
19. "I believe he collects different types of stationery,' said Vetinari. 'I have sometimes speculated that he might change his life for the better should he meet a young lady willing to dress up as a manila envelope."
Author: Terry Pratchett
20. "Lord Vetinari lifted an eyebrow with the care of one who, having found a piece of caterpillar in his salad, raises the rest of the lettuce."
Author: Terry Pratchett
21. "Many bad things were done under the Evil Empire" she said. "The best we can do now is undo them. Will you assist in this endeavor?" "In every way that I can" said Nutt."I would like you to teach them civilized behavior," said Ladyship coldly.He appeared to consider this. "Yes, of course, I think, that would be quite possible," he said. "And who would you send to teach the humans?"There was a brief outburst of laughter from Vetinari, who immediately cupped his hand over his mouth. "Oh I do beg your pardon," he said."
Author: Terry Pratchett
22. "Not natural, in my view, sah. Not in favor of unnatural things.'Vetinari looked perplexed. 'You mean, you eat your meat raw and sleep in a tree?"
Author: Terry Pratchett
23. "It was said that [Vetinari] would tolerate absolutely anything apart from anything that threatened the city*... [Footnote] And mime artists. It was a strange aversion, but there you are. Anyone in baggy trousers and a white face who tried to ply their art anywhere within Ankh's crumbling walls would very quickly find themselves in a a scorpion pit, on one wall of which was painted the advice: Learn The Words."
Author: Terry Pratchett

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Randomisation is not a new idea. It was first proposed in the seventeenth century by John Baptista van Helmont, a Belgian radical who challenged the academics of his day to test their treatments like blood-letting and purging (based on ‘theory') against his own, which he said were based more on clinical experience: ‘Let us take out of the hospitals, out of the Camps, or from elsewhere, two hundred, or five hundred poor People, that have Fevers, Pleurisies, etc. Let us divide them into half, let us cast lots, that one half of them may fall to my share, and the other to yours … We shall see how many funerals both of us shall have."
Author: Ben Goldacre

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